I'm in a similar position - ttc# 2, #1 was 34 hrs labor, ended w/ vacuum.
They gave me a 2nd epidural (long story) before checking if I was dialated, so when time came to push, I couldn't feel ANYTHING. I'd had the 2 epidurals plus a narcotic plus pitocin. His cord was squished and so he missed oxygen during contractions, and his little arm was waving over his head, so it made it harder to get him out.
Enter the vacuum, the freakishly huge episiotomy - and the feeling that I wasn't able, my body couldn't birth my son properly.
I'm planning a midwife assisted homebirth for our 2nd, when the time comes. And, in may ways, I'm terrified that I won't be able to do it, that I'm somehow defecient or defective.
But then I look though the women, through the ages, who birth just fine, at home - and know my body is not inherently different than theirs. The situation I was put in with my first made it almost enivatable that there's be complaications, and there were.
I think, for me, the biggest obstacle I'll have in my homebirth isn't that my body won't perform like it should, but that I need to have the confidence in myself to allow it to do so.