This BOTHERS me!! *due date comments* - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 50 Old 03-30-2006, 01:10 PM
 
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I never understood that either. I WANTED to go the full 40 weeks or beyond. I was a little uncomfortable but not to the point that I wanted the baby out ASAP. I actually cried when my water broke at 39 weeks.
Just seems to go along with our society, though, and how everyone is in a hurry.

Leslie, mom to John :, 02/25/06
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#32 of 50 Old 03-30-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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My mom is one of thirteen kids, seven of them sisters. Of the seven sisters, one of them birthed her only child on her due date. The other six birthed a MINIMUM of two weeks late, two of them went 45 and 46 weeks. I have forty cousins. Most of my female cousins who have had kids have gone a minimum of 42 weeks. So, when I was preggo with my first, I had a discussion with my CNM that included this information. She informed me that, although the hospital policy is very emphatic about not being allowed to schedule an induction for post dates until 41 weeks, at 41 weeks, it WOULD be scheduled. I asked her whether she would also be coming to my home and snatching me up only to chain me to a hospital bed for induction? Apparently, she didnt like that response too well. She just "harumphed" and changed the subject. Incedentally, my kids have so far been born at 38.5 weeks and 37 weeks. I'm the freak in the family! Point is, they are simply done cooking when they are done cooking, and that's that!

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

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#33 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 12:03 AM
 
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Ooo, minirant of my own: (also a lurker )

What's with "x days late"?? Even among cool natural-birthers, I hear this all the time, like "They wanted to induce and she was only three days late!" Excuse me? If you're "late" three days at 40w3d, does that make you "early" at 39w4d? How come I never (EVER) hear that? NO ONE ever talks about a baby coming "early" unless it's well over a week, usually 2+ weeks, before 40w, and yet at 40w1d, almost everyone uses language like "only one day late!"

GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

WTH ever happened to "exactly on time" for a healthy happy naturally birthed (not induced) baby anywhere between 37-43 weeks?? If their lungs aren't mature or the placenta has calcified, then they're "early" or "late", but if they're healthy, their timing was perfect no matter when they showed up! Sheesh!
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#34 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 12:17 AM
 
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I hear 'ya! When I was pregnant, I felt like the only person in the world who actually wasn't *wishing and prayining* the baby would come early and wouldn't mind going past my due date. Due dates are just a guesstimate, it's not an exact science, sheesh.

Sara Mama to DS (6) and DS (4)
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#35 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 12:29 AM
 
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You know I've tried being vague too but DAMN people are nosy!

Nosy person: "So when are you due?"
Me: "July"
Nosy person: "WHEN in July?"
Me: "Early July..."
Nosy person: "What DAY?"


Good lord! It's called ESTIMATED due date for a reason!
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#36 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 12:37 AM
 
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An interesting thing I learned in midwifery school:

The gestation period of 40 weeks (280 days) was originally calculated using the AVERAGE of the gestational lengths of all spontantaneously delivered live babies. (So this includes preemies, and 11-monthers! )

Of course, the average is about 37-42 weeks but I suspect it would be different if women weren't so routinely induced. We would also have different average birth weight, etc. Sort of crazy to think of.

(An aside, my grandmother had 4 11-month babies, all between 8 and 9 pounds. My Ayla was born at 42w5wd- 19 days "late"- at 8lbs 13oz)!

 Grateful midwife and peaceful mama to three blissfully birthed, amazing children: dd (10)dd (7) and  ds (5).
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#37 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 12:55 AM
 
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wow!!! great info mamas!!!
i wish i had this info when i was 12 days "overdue!" i held in there but was bit worried i would not be able to birth at home.
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#38 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 02:14 AM
 
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The other day at my first appointment with CNMs, I felt like I had to keep stressing that my 6-week sono due date and my period due date don't match up. Thye kept going by my period date which is like 2 weeks earlier than my sono date. I had the early sono for a couple of reasons, but one of them was proper dating. I ony had 2 periods and didn't ovulate till after the second one and it was pretty late in the cycle as my cycles were 6 weeks because of bfing. I figured they have so much respect for the dating of early sonos that it would work in my favor to be sure they didn't try to pressure me into an induction 2 weeks before I was even really due. My grandma, aunt and mom went a couple days before EDD every time and I did last time, so I'm guessing I'll do the same. But you just never know. When people really push me for an exact day, I start giving them all the possible dates. Like according to my period, she's due June 28th, but I ovulated late, so if you go by that then she's due on July 5th, but we didn't have sex that day so if you go by that, it's probably July 10th but according to the 1st sono she's due july 8th, but since dh is busy that week, I'm thinking of keeping her in till the 15th or so. By the time I've said even half of this stuff, they don't want to know anymore. The usual response is, " soooo...sometime the first half of July?"

Jessica, mama to Emma, 7, Mattie, 5.5 and Lilly, 3 and someone new this Halloween-ish.

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#39 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 02:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velcromom
I gave her the link... and she said "wasn't that woman at all concerned about the placenta deteriating? I believe I was born only ten days after my due date and the doctor said my mothers placenta had started to deteriate.":

Anyone have an info regarding this that I could pass on to her?

I the 10 month mommas page by the way!
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#40 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 03:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaturalMamma
Hey! I think the next time someone makes a comment that bothers you, you should tell them you're only 3 months pg. That should be fun.

cindi
I just might do that. But I look really small anyway so people might actually believe it.
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#41 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 09:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orangefoot
The looks/comments/horror when people asked about when the baby was 'due' (I was very pregnant looking) and telling them it was last week.
I got this very recently and I only went 5 days over with my daughter. People are funny. It was even more funny when we told them after she was born at home in the water.
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#42 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 10:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quagmire
You know I've tried being vague too but DAMN people are nosy!

Nosy person: "So when are you due?"
Me: "July"
Nosy person: "WHEN in July?"
Me: "Early July..."
Nosy person: "What DAY?"


Good lord! It's called ESTIMATED due date for a reason!
I have had this EXACT conversation recently with my inlaws (not MIL/FIL, but extended family). I wasn't even the one to tell the due date, dh was, mostly because at the moment, I couldn't remember!
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#43 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 10:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyofBirth
The other day at my first appointment with CNMs, I felt like I had to keep stressing that my 6-week sono due date and my period due date don't match up. Thye kept going by my period date which is like 2 weeks earlier than my sono date. I had the early sono for a couple of reasons, but one of them was proper dating.
My midwife pulled something like this! I have long cycles, and I chart. On the very first appointment she asked for LMP and I said, "January 3 but I believe I conceived on the 29th". I showed her the charts and everything and she misread them! She had me off by a week and that was unacceptable to me so she sent me for u/s. We got those results and DH and I were all vindicated because we were right and she was wrong. So we get to the next midwife appointment and the first thing she says about the results is, "Well, the ultrasound results show that I was right to send you because your due date has changed!" We're like, "Um, NO, it hasn't changed at ALL from what WE knew it was!" Augh!

Ahem. Sorry for the rant. In addition, my husband has to request his leave for my October delivery NOW. I keep telling him I could go to 42 weeks or more, and his reaction is, "Are you sure you're opposed to induction? 41 weeks is really getting up there!" Sigh. It's too soon to bring this argument, so I just firmly told him I'm opposed to convenience induction and he needs to accept that the baby might not come during the two weeks he's planning, plus I want him home for two weeks after the birth. So there.
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#44 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 01:56 PM
 
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People did this to my sister too.
Poor dear, she was ALL set to go a week or two past her EDD in early pregnancy, but then she had a little bit of mildly elevated BP and they said sometimes that means you'll go early! and then she hit her "due month" (March, her actual "EDD" was the 15th) and people started saying "any day now, any day now" and she had some pre-labor, and started getting excited, and after several weeks of "any day now" she was so tired...

She went into labor exactly one week past her "EDD" and gave birth the next evening at home, in peace. My nephew is gorgeous, calm and happy, and she is enjoying sitting around holding him all day and marveling at every new little squeak and expression on his face.

I'm SOOO glad I let her borrow my copies of Thinking Woman's Guide and Sheila Kitzinger's Complete book of Pregnancy and Childbirth.

I tell people "April" because my "EDD" is next Saturday, and given my history we might be looking at next week, or the 15th... I've never gone more than a week past "EDD" before, but you never know!

I was born a full month past my EDD! My mom had irregular cycles anyways, so her dates according to the wheel of idiocy were probably wrong anyways, but my due date was April 15th and I was born May 15th.

Kathryn
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#45 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 02:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KittyKat
the wheel of idiocy

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#46 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 03:56 PM
 
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I went to 41 weeks, 5 days and I LOVED when people asked "When are you due?" I'd say "Ooooh....last Monday" Hahahahaha!!!!
I did like telling my EDD b/c it was on my birfday and I thought that was cool, but b/c I am so young, people were very....hesitant to ask me anything about being preggo so I didn't have to answer many questions.
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#47 of 50 Old 03-31-2006, 10:26 PM
 
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: this baby is 'due' on my birthday and I am pretty tickled by that & can't help saying it when people ask.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AMB8301
DD was born at 38 weeks, I wasn't prepared mentally yet, I was fully expecting to go to 42 weeks or so. I got all the comments about how lucky I was, I didn't feel lucky I actually felt a little cheated of not being pg for a couple more weeks.
Same for me, I was feeling great at my work shower at 38 weeks and was sure I would go over 40 weeks. Sure was a surprise to me when I started 'leaking' amniotic fluid that night and was in the hospital the following eve for no ctrx

But I booked plane tix for the IL's at 41w. I should know better since I don't consider Noah's gestation my 'natural' gestation since my water broke.

Hoping for 39-40 weeks this time :

Alaskan Mom to 2 boys
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#48 of 50 Old 04-01-2006, 02:31 AM
 
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Edumacate these people!!! They ask or look horrified when your due say some interesting fact. Did you know that the babys lungs are ONLY fully developed at 40 (correct me if wrong) weeks? I want my baby to be able to breath!!! And look at them like its horrible to want your baby to die/be ill because it can't/has trouble breathing (not that it would but obviously they are misinformed in the first place).

Any FACTS showing that the babys baking longer is better may be a good idea. In fact if you have a good fact of what happens even the "last" (as due dates are only ESTIMATES as we all know) few weeks of prego. If anyone gives me that crap I will tell them so.
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#49 of 50 Old 04-01-2006, 02:48 AM
 
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yeah it is pretty flipping annoying. I'm a 10 month mama so I get it even longer than most.

I remember eating out and the waiter asking me "when are you due"

and I said "13 days ago"

the look on his face was priceless. People look at you like you have two heads just because you aren't one of the few who deliver on their due dates.

I guess b/c so many get induced. I did end up getting induced at 18 days past EDD with my first b/c of low fluid but looking back I wish I hadn't. Hated pit, so in that regard I was glad that my 2nd came sooner. "Sooner" is laughable b/c he was still 13 days past my EDD. I just didn't want him to go too far to where I would start having placental deterioration. Going naturally with my 2nd was 10 million times better than the induction.

~Erin
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#50 of 50 Old 04-01-2006, 03:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMB8301
DD was born at 38 weeks, I wasn't prepared mentally yet, I was fully expecting to go to 42 weeks or so. I got all the comments about how lucky I was, I didn't feel lucky I actually felt a little cheated of not being pg for a couple more weeks.
Me too. And what was funny about it was that we had been pretty vague about the EDD ("March sometime" or "mid March" - it was actually March 4th) so when DS was born on Feb. 19th (at 38 weeks) some people were freaked out that he was way too early.
ETA: oh yeah, then there were all the comments when people found out he was 8 lbs 8 oz: "oh, it's a good thing you didn't go to your due date, he would have been 10 pounds!!".

Conversation with MIL last week:
Her: when is this baby due again?
Me: sometime around the beginning of June, maybe end of May
Her: Oh, you mean they don't know?

: Um, *I* know when the EDD is, what do *they* have to do with it? (And who is *they* anyway??) Sheesh. I explained that I know the "date" but it's always give or take 2 or 3 weeks anyway, so there was not much point in focusing on one date.

I will be curious to see what birthday this baby picks for itself!
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