Perineal tearing: the controversy of hands on vs hands off - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 87 Old 04-01-2006, 11:10 PM
 
Emilie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: going thru divorce land
Posts: 7,369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great article.
Lots to think about.
my mw was relatively hands off-- she did not touch me while i was pushing and i caught and pulled up my own baby. Cord around the neck and all.
If I was to do it again- I do wish she had checked for a cord for me- I was not aware to look for that- and I pulled her up out of the water with the cord around her neck.
But next time I could also check myself- now with what I know.
I tore a little- my mw rarely has tears- even with breech- huge babies- etc.
She does this puh puh puh technique. are you familiar- why does this work so well?
One of the main reasons she tries to leave the peri in tact is that she does not suture.... so therefore- if there was a tear that needed stiching- it would be off to the hospital- with no baby- not what we want!
i am glad that i did not tear much- my recovery was very easy.


nak- sorry!lol
Emilie is offline  
#2 of 87 Old 04-01-2006, 11:12 PM
 
Kathryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 6,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I believe in hands off. My midwife did massage, but I honestly was a bit annoyed by it even though it didn't hurt and if I wasn't busy contracting, I would've told her to keep her hands off.

Mom to Dakota (6), Coy, (4), Max, (4), Lily (4), and Auri (June 19th 2010)!
Visit Lily's site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/lilymathis1
Kathryn is offline  
#3 of 87 Old 04-01-2006, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
pamamidwife's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Oregon
Posts: 7,639
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I think that any woman will naturally slow down when crowning because of that "ring of fire" - women don't need to be directed to breathe a certain way or anything. Women just know. It works perfectly.

I think checking for cords as the head emerges is VERY painful for women and totally not necessary. Most women do like you do and just unwrap their babies as they bring them up. No harm!
pamamidwife is offline  
#4 of 87 Old 04-01-2006, 11:17 PM
 
Emilie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: going thru divorce land
Posts: 7,369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oops - I did not unwrap it! I pulled her up- and knew things were not ok- but I would not let her go- so dh grabbed it off. She had a bit of a rough patch at first- but fared much better at home than she would have at the hospital!
Emilie is offline  
#5 of 87 Old 04-01-2006, 11:20 PM
 
Kathryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 6,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You know, I had no ring of fire. I slowed down horribly because the sensation of my bones moving to let the baby pass was overwhelming. The actual crowning didn't hurt at all. It was just the moving bones. It was scary because I had no idea to expect that, they'd never touched on it in prenatals or class. It was always only about the "ring of fire" which I never had.

Mom to Dakota (6), Coy, (4), Max, (4), Lily (4), and Auri (June 19th 2010)!
Visit Lily's site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/lilymathis1
Kathryn is offline  
#6 of 87 Old 04-01-2006, 11:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
pamamidwife's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Oregon
Posts: 7,639
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I'll tell you right up front that I'm a pretty-hands off midwife, but I'm most hands-off when a woman is pushing her baby out. I'm including this article I recently wrote for Midiwfery Today for the mamas here - your birth belongs in YOUR hands, not your midwife's - not your doctor's. We are made perfectly to birth babies without too much perineal trauma and this is best done when those we are not intimately involved with keep their hands off our sexual organs during birth.

http://www.midwifemama.com/honoring.html


I welcome some discussion on this article, as there are still many women out there who believe a midwife/doctor can "save" them from tearing, as well as the general idea that small tears are to be avoided at all costs (and the resulting feeling that it's "bad" if we do tear).
pamamidwife is offline  
#7 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 12:45 AM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay I'm totally biased here, but your article is yet another reason you're my ideal standard of a midwife. When the time comes, my goal in interviewing midwives will be to find one that is as much like you as possible.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#8 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 12:53 AM
 
Emilie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: going thru divorce land
Posts: 7,369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Smile. Smile Smile....
I am so sorry that not all midwifes are not like Pamamidwife.
I can not believe the things I hear on here.
Emilie is offline  
#9 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 12:54 AM
 
crazyeight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,840
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had my ds in the hospital and am now prego. I can tell that i am VERY different down there since giving birth to a big boy. He was only 8 lbs but I was only 6 lbs 2 oz and his father was only 6 lbs 3 oz AND i was TINY when i got pregnant plus his head seemed large but i don't remember. Anyways when it reached the point of ring of fire, which actually was SOOO much LESS painful than contractions now that i think about it, i had to push about an hour to finally get him out. My OB was known for being a good one for natural births and the like and was actually transferred to her by my first OB my VERY last week of prego, so when ds wouldn't come out after pushing and the like she massaged, lubed and something else i think. finally she told me that i was going to tear up into the urethrea and down in a star shape quite badly. I believe that it wasn't pretty but have you heard of it being that badly stretched? She did finally make a cut and i think i got 2 or 3 stiches and i am totally ok with the fact that she made the cut, she didn't do it right away, and i was almost ready to suggest it even though I NEVER wanted to be cut down there and even put it in my birth plan. I am hoping that this child will not have that problem but i also wonder if was sewed up tighter or looser or if the stiches will affect what my body sees as the limit for birth.
So basically the questions are: Can previous peri cut influence other births and likelyhoods of cuts? Have you ever heard/read/seen a stretching and/or possible tearing to the extent she described?
I will be birthing at a free standing birth center this time.
crazyeight is offline  
#10 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 01:05 AM
 
DreamsInDigital's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,481
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think Pam is a great midwife.
DreamsInDigital is offline  
#11 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 01:45 AM
 
Brown Lioness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: dreaming of cocoa babies...
Posts: 1,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
WOOOOOOOOW.

omg, i learn SOOOO much on this site!

*scribbling notes*

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
Brown Lioness is offline  
#12 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 01:51 AM
 
littleteapot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mystery Island
Posts: 3,321
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, PAm. That was a fantastic article. I read it out loud to my husband, and when I told him it was written by a midwife he was incredibly impressed.

I'm UC/UP, and the midwife I had with my first baby was very much like you. I consider her (and your) style of midwifery to be as close to true midwives as is possible in today's society. Certainly women have always had 'midwives' with them, but not all carried oxygen and needles: they were wise women, herbalists, support people, what today we'd consider a doula.

You're the kind of midwife I wouldn't mind seeing. Way to go: absolutely awesome article. I'm going to bookmark it.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

littleteapot is offline  
#13 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 03:00 AM
 
Stayathomemommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Eastern Oregon
Posts: 969
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i just talked to my midwife about this at my 37 week appt because i had her for my last birth and while i was pushing i remember yelling, "how can i push with your finger down there!!" she didnt remove her finger, and though it wasnt the reason for my c/section it was definately a tense time where my body was unable to be completely efficiant.

anyway when i told her that last time i didnt like her finger down there she just told me that she was helping the perinium strech. and that was the end of that!! like i was silly and she had been doing me a favor. how do i tell her nicely that i dont want her doing it for this birth PERIOD!!

Angela: Catholic Homeschooling Mom to Sierra(11/00), twins Addison & Kendall(3/03), Jack(4/06), Brielle (7/08), Levi (2/2011); due with#7 (9/13). Birthed every witch way.....hospital. C section. VbAC. Unassisted water birth (hypno/painless). Assisted waterbirth to an almost 10lber! (Not painless!)
Stayathomemommy is offline  
#14 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 03:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
pamamidwife's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Oregon
Posts: 7,639
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I swear the goal here is NOT to give myself kudos - believe me, I still have plenty to learn in midwifery. I really wanted to let women know that the idea that somehow someone else can "prevent" tears for them may not always - or most times - be true.

I remember what an OB once told me....he said, "if you put two sides of a vagina together in a forest, apart, they will always find each other!" - meaning that our body does a beautiful job healing any sort of tears in this part of our body. Evolutionarily this makes sense - to not heal well means that we risk reproductive and hygeine issues. I think even urine has healing properties when it comes to tears postpartum.

Plus, I think there is some benefit to being a bit tender down south after birth - we're more likely to take it easy for the first week or so (important when we're establishing a milk supply and recovering from birth).

Suturing should only be reserved for when the sides of a tear do not come together well - or if the tear (which is not as common) extends beyond the superficial surface or underlying fascia.
pamamidwife is offline  
#15 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 06:48 AM
 
DreamsInDigital's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,481
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My most recent birth where I did not tear I found it quite difficult to stay in bed. It didn't cause me any problems but I certainly could have taken it a lot easier. I bet I would have if I'd had any trauma. Kind of scary that a 10 lb. baby came out and didn't hurt
DreamsInDigital is offline  
#16 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 10:39 AM
 
Jade2561's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Lowcountry
Posts: 1,277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had the OB that was on call when my daughter was born and as I was pushing he told me that he is bad at cutting epis and doesn't do them. He did perineal massage and I only had a minor surface tear (I was birthing in the traditional lithotomy position ). My roomie at the hospital had a 4th degree epi (4th degree) and was miserable. I was carrying my baby and able to shower - no need for meds and she could barely walk and was taking pretty heavy pain killers. After spending time with her I was so greatful I had been spared.

I'm homebirthing this time and MW is hand off about almost everything.
Jade2561 is offline  
#17 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 03:14 PM
 
mezzaluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 1,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thank you pam!

i've been reading and admiring your posts for a long time now, and this article nearly made me cry it's so beautiful and respectful - and hits close to home for me. makes me want to print off a copy and mail it to the OB who "delivered" me. i guess i should!

Rosemary & Gary :
James 12/04 & Cecelia 4/07
mezzaluna is offline  
#18 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 05:20 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stayathomemommy
anyway when i told her that last time i didnt like her finger down there she just told me that she was helping the perinium strech. and that was the end of that!! like i was silly and she had been doing me a favor. how do i tell her nicely that i dont want her doing it for this birth PERIOD!!
"I need your help to be completely confident in this birth, when you dismiss my concerns it worries me. I like you in all other ways, but I do not like how you are handling my concerns about you touching me during labor."

She probably doesn't even realize she was being dismissive she probably thinks "oh well, I explained it, so she understands now and is fine." And probably also thinks that you're fine with a repeat performance.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#19 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 05:43 PM
 
LavenderMae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: where I write my own posts!
Posts: 13,477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Pamela, that was beautiful and full of so much truth. You are what midwives should be and I wish there were more like you!!!!!

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
LavenderMae is offline  
#20 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 06:15 PM
 
InochiZo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NWxSE
Posts: 1,691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Posting from a birthing experience; no midwifery experience. I agree with the hands off completely but I don't think that it was natural for me to slow and take it easy even though I had a lot of burning. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear, almost 3rd. My MW was very handsoff since it was a breech, but me and baby surprised everybody by coming out all at once on the push after the butt crowned. I think, if I ever have another baby that I will have someone cue me to slowdown and not push too hard and/or birth in a different position. Handsoff but some direction would be good.
InochiZo is offline  
#21 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 07:07 PM
 
nadine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
great article! i loved it, you inspire me. i strive to be a very hands off midwife (i'm a student right now). i think the more we stay out of it and let the mama birth, the better it is. women are amazing and powerful, we need to trust them!
nadine is offline  
#22 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 07:22 PM
 
mamato3cherubs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Little Town Oregon
Posts: 1,449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, I read all the replys to this thread before reading the article and though, yeah ,yeah, nothing I havnt seen.
WOW! That was so nice to read, really got me thinking about the births I experienced with my own kids.

Now dont mind me, I just have to share and vent now!!!!!!!!

I can recall so clearly with my last baby(all OB care, although I still love that OB, in hospital), she was much more difficult than my first 2. When I finally got through all the hours of labor after refusing against drs orders the pitocin more than once, my very good and helpful nurse got my up on the bed on my hands and knees semi leaning over a pillow with the bed raised nearly upright.
I was 7-8 when I got up there, 3 VERY strong, long contractions(and lots of low screaming) later I felt my baby crown. I didnt want to stop. I didnt want to move, I wanted to be left alone to push this baby out as I wanted. The nurse looked when I yelled "It hurts and I cant make it stop!". she said oh, theres the baby! and told my DH to help me turn over while she got the dr.

It was this very moment that I said to my mom, "I wish I would have just gone to the midwives at the birth center, or let them give me that epidural!"

Over an hour later, most of which I spent with the largest part of my babies head nearly out, I delivered her. I was in so much pain from the prolonged crowning and the delayed turning of her head to the best direction that I could hardly even concentrate to nurse her right away.
If I could have been left to deliver on hand and knees semi upright as I was when she finally came down, I feel she would have turned soooner before I was forced to push her so far and would have been much faster.

*long sigh* I have always had an interest in pregnancy and birth but never thought I could do anything with it(the "Im not good enough, smart enough, wealthy enough, to do what I *want* syndrome I have always suffered from).

After that experience I really started rethinking and began reading. I will someday follow through and be a midwife with as good of values as yours. I will help women have the best experience they can have how they want to have it.
Thank you for sharing Pam.

Lisa~Was Aspiring Midwife~Now-AAMI Midwifery Student #2020~Mama to Zackery 3/29/96, Drake 9/22/01, and Selina 10/26/03...and here was the link to my new blog
mamato3cherubs is offline  
#23 of 87 Old 04-02-2006, 07:33 PM
 
cottonwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This needs to be said again and again and again:

Quote:
Did you know that your vagina has a built-in protective mechanism? We experience it when we are getting a pelvic exam—fingers placed right outside the vagina or inside the vagina will result in a contraction of the vaginal muscles. This response is normal and positive. Yet women are often told to "just relax" at this point, as if it’s completely voluntary.

The midwife or doctor performing the exam may be a classmate, friend or trusted provider. It doesn't matter—the care giver’s fingers are not our fingers. They are not the fingers of our lover. Our wise bodies resist touch that is not sensual or our own. A woman pushing out a baby will experience the same reaction. The resulting tension is counterproductive to loosening and opening the pelvic floor to birth her baby.

What happens when we midwives put our fingers inside the vagina as the baby is trying to emerge? Could it be hard for women to concentrate on pushing something out of their bodies when we are putting things in? Are we really helping women by dragging down on the perineum? By "pushing" tissue away as the head descends? Is the woman's vagina instinctively protecting her? How does it feel to the mother? Can we expect the body to respond naturally with the desired fetal ejection reflex and associated hormones when this is occurring?
I am just sick to my soul of reading birth stories in which midwives have their hands all over women's vaginas, and of women believing that it's good and necessary. I would like nothing better than to see the demise of this harmful myth.
cottonwood is offline  
#24 of 87 Old 04-03-2006, 09:14 AM
 
Peppamint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Not here
Posts: 12,977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Fabulous article pamamidwife!

My last birth was hands free, except when I told midwife ds' head was crowning she did brush her fingers to see (NO ONE realized I was pushing ) that yes, ds was crowning. I liked it that way. My first birth (OB w/perineal massage that hurt like hell and then an episiotomy) was not like that at all. I definitely prefer hands-off!
Peppamint is offline  
#25 of 87 Old 04-04-2006, 12:31 AM
 
tinyshoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Minneapolis USA
Posts: 1,717
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hands-off

for sure.


BUT

are there other crotch-preserving interventions that are welcomed?

For example, I think of my own experience birthing my ds, and I wanted my mws hands "holding my butt" if you will. There was so much outward pressure/force from my baby's head, that I wanted counterpressure in the form of holding my a$$.

Is that hands-on? or hands-off? or requested hands: all hands on deck!

Another intervention, specifically aimed at preventing tears: puh puh puh breathing.

Am I grateful to my mws, for encouraging a "long crown" as they said? to help prevent a tear? (my mws are of the 30/30/30 Rule: tears are prevented 30% diet, 30% stretchy skin luck and 30% baby's position luck. that is their admitted bias.)

Could that "hands-off" yet completely interventive act really prevent a tear (causing a "long crown" to allow skin to stretch?) (PS I still had a small unstitched tear...and I indicated anticipating and wanting these interventions during prenatal visits.)

I read this cheeky advice for OBs somewhere: Don't just do something--SIT THERE!
Seems it can apply to "helpful" mws, too, I guess.
tinyshoes is offline  
#26 of 87 Old 04-04-2006, 10:13 AM
 
Peppamint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Not here
Posts: 12,977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyshoes
Is that hands-on? or hands-off? or requested hands: all hands on deck!
Sorry, this just had me rolling this morning.
Peppamint is offline  
#27 of 87 Old 04-04-2006, 10:36 AM
 
LoveChild421's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: North GA
Posts: 4,593
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyshoes
are there other crotch-preserving interventions that are welcomed?

For example, I think of my own experience birthing my ds, and I wanted my mws hands "holding my butt" if you will. There was so much outward pressure/force from my baby's head, that I wanted counterpressure in the form of holding my a$$.
Glad to know I'm not the only one!

Jen read.gif Mama of 2 precious boys blowkiss.gif (9)  flowersforyou.gif (6)  and still in heartbeat.gif with my Matt hat.gif after 12 years together. 

rainbow1284.gif Domestic Violence Children's Advocate and Counselor hug2.gif

 homebirth.jpg bf.jpg nocirc.gif ribbonjigsaw.gif 

LoveChild421 is offline  
#28 of 87 Old 04-04-2006, 11:38 AM
 
tinyshoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Minneapolis USA
Posts: 1,717
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveChild421
Glad to know I'm not the only one!
Yeah--I remember being pregnant at a prenatal appt., asking my mws what they would do during labor.

They mentioned something about, "well, mostly we do a lot of holding women's butts."

and I thought, Hunh? I could understand English, and what they said....but indeed----after having that baby, I really understood what they meant! And when they said it, they suggested it was more or less a popular request from birthing mamas....so I'm interested in hearing that you appriciated that too, LoveChild!
tinyshoes is offline  
#29 of 87 Old 04-04-2006, 11:45 AM
 
Desdamona's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Western NC
Posts: 915
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveChild421
Glad to know I'm not the only one!


For #3 I told my MW to "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD ME!!" He was a big ol' baby presenting with a nuchal arm. I couldn't NOT be held. But there was no perineal massage or any of that. I just needed someone to hold a warm cloth to my bottom as I pushed out my 10lb baby with his hand up by his face! I actually feel like they could have been more attention to the "holding my butt" job! FWIW, I had a small tear along the epis scar from my first birth and a labial tear (which REALLY!!! hurt).

With #4 no one touched me, what so ever. I was in the kiddie pool and started pushing when my body felt like it. I felt his head before it started to crown and felt a thick rubber band like thing on his head (cervical lip). I told my mw and she encouraged me to either pant through a couple ctx or hold it with the next ctx as I pushed, which I did. And the baby's head slipped past that bit of my cervix, he came very quickly. I didn't want anyone's hands on me this time. I think being in the pool hand alot to do with it. There was already a warm presence around my bottom and didn't need anyone to "hold me" with a warm cloth like I did with the previous (land) birth. No tears, skid marks or anything. Totally intact... even with the almost 10lb baby being born. It was much harder for me to take the down time new mamas need because within 4 days I did NOT feel as though I had just had a baby.

I think it most important for any birth attendant to respect the needs and wishes of the mother. If mama wants someone to hold her bottom, then someone better be ready to hold her. If mama doesn't, they better be sitting on their hands if it is what it takes for the attendant to be hands off. It's all about listening to what the mama needs, not doing what they think it "best".
Desdamona is offline  
#30 of 87 Old 04-04-2006, 12:03 PM
 
momsincmay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 84
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by pamamidwife
I swear the goal here is NOT to give myself kudos - believe me, I still have plenty to learn in midwifery. I really wanted to let women know that the idea that somehow someone else can "prevent" tears for them may not always - or most times - be true.
...I completely have to agree with you because during my pregnancy I did what my doctor said to prevent tearing, the massaging and everything (even during labor she massaged my perineum (very unhelpful) ) and I had 2nd degree lacerations anyways.
momsincmay is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off