Sterilization to avoid cesarean :( - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 01:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
mackenziesmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 258
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I heard the saddest thing today...

I ran into a highschool classmate today who recently had her second baby, via scheduled, repeat cesarean. In the course of conversation, she mentioned she had a tubal ligation. I said, "Oh?" and her response was...

"I had to do it. If I didn't, and I got pregnant again, they would force me to have another C-section. We wanted more kids someday. I don't want to have my body cut open ever again. Not ever. So I had to do it."

How sad is that? As a sufferer of 2 cesareans, my heart hurts for this woman. As I am planning a homebirth with my third, I am saddened that she does not know of the homebirth option. As a woman living in an "industrialized" society that boasts itself on our "high standard of medical care", I am OUTRAGED THAT A WOMEN HAS TO BE STERILIZED TO AVOID A FORCED SURGICAL DELIVERY!

I am sorry to vent, I just want other moms to know what is going on. Have any of you on mdc had similar experiences? I am so mad, i don't even know what to write anymore.

I waned to share this with a community that would understand.
mackenziesmama is offline  
#2 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 01:54 AM
 
laprettygurl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Shakin' it in my living room!
Posts: 1,045
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, it is sad.

Dan's cousin had a c/s with her first. Got pregnant within 6 months and had a c/s with number two. She was told she HAD to have her tubes tied so she won't get pregnant again. And she did! wtf?
laprettygurl is offline  
#3 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 02:47 AM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can understand feeling that way. After my second c-section, I thought I was okay with the "fact" that I "had to" have another one. I wasn't...months of nightmares, and I fought with my doctors for the entire pregnancy, and ended up cut again.

I wish I'd known about the homebirth option. By the time I talked to our local midwives, I'd had two sections, and they wouldn't take me (they'll do VBAC, but not with multiple c-sections...would lose their licenses), and I'm still not comfortable going unassisted.

As much as I wanted ds2, and as much as I still want one more baby, I can really understand the temptation to have a tubal. Of course, my OB kept "offering" even after I said no, so there was no way in hell it was going to happen...he pissed me off too much!

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#4 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 11:13 AM
 
MamaTaraX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 9,152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a friend who has had 2 c/s, I attended both births. The first was a classic case of downward spiral. Arrived in labor, got an epi and it went downhill fromthere. Epi slowed labor, labor stalled, Pit. given, labor picks up, epi has to be cranked, Pit then has to be cranked, after countless hours makes it to 10, doc kickis me out at this point DH stayed, mom pushed for ONLY 30 MINUTES (!!!), doc decided head too big, c/s insues, classical incision, small baby w/small head...impatient doc. So the the 2nd she said she'd rather not go through all that mess again and scheduled a c/s. Much better experience, however, before she evenscheduled it she said she'd get her tubes tied while they were in there to avoid doing all of that over again. She even went so far as to switch hospitals just because the other one doesn't do sterilization (thoug hthe hospital she switched to was MUCH better ayway, she used midwives during the pregnancy). So for the 2nd c/s, she went in, had ababy, and got fixed I was so sad for her and I know that someday she'll want more children, I know her. And now she can't and it's all because she had c/s. It really saddens me

Namaste, Tara
MamaTaraX is offline  
#5 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 11:17 AM
 
MamaTaraX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 9,152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by laprettygurl
Wow, it is sad.

Dan's cousin had a c/s with her first. Got pregnant within 6 months and had a c/s with number two. She was told she HAD to have her tubes tied so she won't get pregnant again. And she did! wtf?
WTF indeed!!! That's just infuriating!

Namaste, Tara
MamaTaraX is offline  
#6 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 11:40 AM
 
Peppamint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Not here
Posts: 12,977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, so sad.
Peppamint is offline  
#7 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 12:55 PM
 
Annie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Under a pile of sleeping dogs
Posts: 1,206
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
wow, that is really sad I know the pain of wanting to have children and not being able to....as horrible as that is, much worse is the feeling that I might have done something to somehow cause it, or there was something I should have done to prevent the IF, yk? I can sympathize with how bad these women would feel if they thought they somehow allowed it to happen, or if they later found out it wasn't necesary, yk?

I really hope that doesn't come out as stupid or insenitive, I meant the exact opposite.
My heart goes out to all women who have been lied to and violated in this way.
Annie is offline  
#8 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 12:57 PM
 
Peppamint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Not here
Posts: 12,977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie
can imagine how bad she'd feel when thinking back about how she 'consented' to get her tubes tied.
My mom to this day regrets her tubal... my parents went that route because they'd had BC failure three times and were just too broke to imagine having more children. Then my youngest brother died and they realized how permanent the tubal was.
Peppamint is offline  
#9 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 02:13 PM
 
Quagmire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Quahog, RI
Posts: 1,830
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That poor woman.
Quagmire is offline  
#10 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 02:53 PM
 
TexasSuz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,781
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry, but I don't see why your friend had such an issue with her c-sections. I had two and would have another if I got pregnant. If she really wanted more kids then she wouldn't have gotten a tubal. I think she is just giving an excuse. No one forced her into a tubal - she is responsible for her own choices just like we all are.

I am grateful that c-sections exists becasue without them I would not have been able to be a mom at all!
TexasSuz is offline  
#11 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 02:57 PM
 
liseux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: washington d.c.
Posts: 1,281
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"I am grateful that c-sections exists becasue without them I would not have been able to be a mom at all!" TexasSuz

:
I wouldn`t have my 3rd son & probably any more if it weren`t for sections. It sucks, but my kids are more important to me than how they got here.

Married Catholic mami : to 5 boys, : 9 6 3 : 5 mo. 5/6/02-6/22/02 (HIE)
:
liseux is offline  
#12 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 03:03 PM
 
Charles Baudelaire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by liseux
"I am grateful that c-sections exists becasue without them I would not have been able to be a mom at all!" TexasSuz

:
I wouldn`t have my 3rd son & probably any more if it weren`t for sections. It sucks, but my kids are more important to me than how they got here.

See, what scares the crap out of me with repeat c-sections is that "six times more likely to die" thing.

Just call me a p***y.
Charles Baudelaire is offline  
#13 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 03:54 PM
 
Amylcd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Sorry, but I don't see why your friend had such an issue with her c-sections. I had two and would have another if I got pregnant. If she really wanted more kids then she wouldn't have gotten a tubal. I think she is just giving an excuse. No one forced her into a tubal - she is responsible for her own choices just like we all are.
ITA! I know many people who have had 3, 4 and even one woman who has had 6 csections. Also, even if you have had 2 csections, there is no reason why you can't go on to have a vaginal birth. A woman can not be forced into having a csection. I feel so bad that this woman thought they would.

A tubal wasn't even mentioned during my second csection.

knit.gifMom of Many  jumpers.gif

Amylcd is offline  
#14 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 04:28 PM
 
littleteapot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mystery Island
Posts: 3,321
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Some of the comments here are quite insensitive - this is not about you, ladies! :



I sympathize with your friend, that is very sad that she feels that way. At the same time I deeply understand: some c-section experiences are like being medically raped and humiliated. If you were essentially told you had "no choice" but to experience this over and over again willingly, would you want to? PTSD is strong and really force our hand at some things. I hope she finds peace over her birth trauma.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

littleteapot is offline  
#15 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 04:45 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amylcd
ITA! I know many people who have had 3, 4 and even one woman who has had 6 csections. Also, even if you have had 2 csections, there is no reason why you can't go on to have a vaginal birth.
...as long as you're okay with unassisted homebirth...and the possibility of someone sending CPS around to knock on your door.

Quote:
A woman can not be forced into having a csection. I feel so bad that this woman thought they would.
There was a woman who used to post here who was wheeled into OR screaming "I do not consent". I was wheeled into OR the first time screaming, "I don't want a f---ing c-section" and crying my eyes out. There have been court orders. Woman can quite definitely be forced into having a c-section. Women have been forced into having a c-section.

Quote:
A tubal wasn't even mentioned during my second csection.
Mine, either. They waited until my third to start putting on that particular pressure. My OB has assured me that "three is the perfect number of children", anyway...awfully glad he's cleared that up for me. I always thought I wanted four, but I'm sure he knows better than I do...

But, it's okay. If I have another one, he's very kindly told me that he'll do the tubal at the same time as does my section... :Puke

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#16 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 04:55 PM
 
littleteapot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mystery Island
Posts: 3,321
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
There was a woman who used to post here who was wheeled into OR screaming "I do not consent". I was wheeled into OR the first time screaming, "I don't want a f---ing c-section" and crying my eyes out. There have been court orders. Woman can quite definitely be forced into having a c-section. Women have been forced into having a c-section.

For mine, I was in complete shock because 5 minutes earlier I wasn't even sure I was in labour and suddenly they told me I was 10cm, my baby was crowning breech and someone had their hand up inside me pushing my baby back to my womb. I was in SO MUCH PAIN. They all started screaming c-section, die die die, they literally put the pen in my hand, closed my fist around it and put it on the paper.
From what I've heard, they really wouldn't have cared if I hadn't or had been unable to sign it. They completely ignored me while I was screaming about wanting a vaginal birth.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

littleteapot is offline  
#17 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 05:00 PM
 
Kathryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 6,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, your poor friend. I can't even imagine the trauma she must've went through to make her want to never have children again. : I just want to hold her. She needs to see someone about PTSD.

Mom to Dakota (6), Coy, (4), Max, (4), Lily (4), and Auri (June 19th 2010)!
Visit Lily's site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/lilymathis1
Kathryn is offline  
#18 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 05:04 PM
 
Amylcd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
as long as you're okay with unassisted homebirth...and the possibility of someone sending CPS around to knock on your door.
I've talked with my OB about this, and she said she has had MANY patients deliver vaginally after 2 or more csections.

knit.gifMom of Many  jumpers.gif

Amylcd is offline  
#19 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 05:06 PM
 
MamaTaraX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 9,152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
But, it's okay. If I have another one, he's very kindly told me that he'll do the tubal at the same time as does my section... :Puke
Do what!? I hope that was him offering and not saying "I'm goiung to do it while I'm in there with or without your knowledge, tra lala...." Ugh

Namaste, Tara
MamaTaraX is offline  
#20 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 06:01 PM
 
liseux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: washington d.c.
Posts: 1,281
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I also feel badly for the woman that she would rather stop than have more sections. That is very hard and a very personal decision.




"See, what scares the crap out of me with repeat c-sections is that "six times more likely to die" thing." Charles Baudelaire

Well, VBAC`s don`t always work either unfortunately.

Married Catholic mami : to 5 boys, : 9 6 3 : 5 mo. 5/6/02-6/22/02 (HIE)
:
liseux is offline  
#21 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 06:17 PM
 
a-sorta-fairytale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hangin' with the raisin girls
Posts: 5,127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
Wow i didnt think i would see such insensive remarks on this site. MANY women are traumatized by a cs. MAny women are forced to have a cs or go unassisted with all the vbac bans. MANY women have been FORCED to have a cs.

Go to ican-online.org if you want to know what happens.

While i am so gald some of you had good cs outcomes i think it isnt only important to have a healthy baby but ALSO a healthy mother to care for that baby.

In my case NEITHER of us was healthy and BOTH of us have suffered long term damage from the cs.
a-sorta-fairytale is offline  
#22 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 06:42 PM
 
mama in the forest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My heart goes out to your friend!.....and to all women who have suffered in any way by things out of their control. I wish there was something I could do to help.

What feels sad for me is just the feeling that a woman might have that she doesn't have options.....and I think this is very common because when we are pregnant, we are very vulnerable to others....especially during birth. There is probably no time that I am more vulnerable than during birth.

I would wish for every woman to feel empowered during her pregnancy, and I know it is difficult to feel this way in today's world. So often we're told things over and over and it begins to feel like the truth. And in many women's communities there just aren't as many options. Living with that reality is really hard.

Greenlee's Forest *intentional jewelry* a secret Journal locket!
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
mama in the forest is offline  
#23 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 07:26 PM
 
liseux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: washington d.c.
Posts: 1,281
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don`t see anything being said that is so insensitive. Of course its not about us, yet almost every post made a reference to the poster themselves. Some of us went into birth believing it would work and that everything natural was best. And some of us lost our babies and almost our own lives anyway. Many many posts on here are insensitive to people like us, who end up needing c/s.

Everybody is coming only from their experience and everybody has anecdotal evidence, but all of our pain is relative. I think not having anymore children b/c of having to have sections is very sad. Its really another loss. I apologize if I seemed insensitive, I wanted to support the other poster who said she wouldn`t have kids if it weren`t for sections. I don`t think too many c/s mamas are too thrilled about the risks we face, but sometimes we can be flip about it to try & remain positive--at least in my case.

Married Catholic mami : to 5 boys, : 9 6 3 : 5 mo. 5/6/02-6/22/02 (HIE)
:
liseux is offline  
#24 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 09:43 PM
 
littleteapot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mystery Island
Posts: 3,321
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's one thing to share your own painful experience, it's another entirely to post on someone's else's obviously traumatically painful c-section experience by saying something like, "I'm so glad for c-sections".

Not cool.

No one on this thread was bashing c-sections, but many were commiserating in unnecessary or traumatic ones they have had; perhaps sympathizing with who the OP is talking about.
There are c-section support threads on mothering, and this is NOT an appropriate story on which to comment how grateful you are that c/s' exist. Surely that much is obvious.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

littleteapot is offline  
#25 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 10:04 PM
 
liseux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: washington d.c.
Posts: 1,281
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I see nothing wrong with supporting another poster at any time in any thread. My intent was never to hurt the OP.

I`m not speaking for the other posters that upset folks, just that if it came down to sterilization or more sections, couldn`t someone choose more sections? Its a valid point of view. In a conversation this whole thing could flow normally & respectfully, its not as easy in writing.

Mackenziesmama, I hope that your next birth is very healing for you and I`m sorry that this took a turn away from being supportive to you.

Married Catholic mami : to 5 boys, : 9 6 3 : 5 mo. 5/6/02-6/22/02 (HIE)
:
liseux is offline  
#26 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 10:07 PM
 
paquerette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Poconos
Posts: 6,798
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
There was a woman who used to post here who was wheeled into OR screaming "I do not consent". I was wheeled into OR the first time screaming, "I don't want a f---ing c-section" and crying my eyes out. There have been court orders. Woman can quite definitely be forced into having a c-section. Women have been forced into having a c-section.
It happens, but it isn't LEGAL. It can happen, just like people can be robbed and murdered and speed in their cars. Sometimes the justice system works, and sometimes it doesn't.
paquerette is offline  
#27 of 57 Old 05-06-2006, 11:03 PM
 
BelgianSheepDog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: unemployed in Greenland
Posts: 7,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Actually the incidents someone mentioned of court orders being issued to force a woman into a caesarian are very real. So in some jurisdictions it is legal, or has been legal long enough to cause at least a few women to be forced into surgeries they do not want. The other problem with relying on the idea of legality is that labor is a relatively short period of time and doctors have a lot more power than patients. This means that there is a lot of coercion and forced "consent" that can happen, with very little legal recourse. You're not going to be on the phone to your lawyer when you're 8 cm dilated, and even if you were, there's not much your lawyer would be able to get done for you between that time and the doctor starting to operate. And after the surgery has happened, unless someone dies, there's even less that can be done. This is why we have to be vigilant and pay attention to these "worst case scenario" stories, like the opening post. We have to watch out for our rights.
BelgianSheepDog is offline  
#28 of 57 Old 05-07-2006, 11:14 AM
 
citizenfong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, I was going to contribute to this thread that I have a friend who chose a tubal while she was on the operating table getting her second c/section because she didn't want to face the possibility of another surgery in the future.

Now I see that I need to explain just why this is sad. She felt like her first c/s was unecessary. She had a multitude of problems as a result of that first surgery. She was traumatized by her UNECESSARY c/s.

She wanted a vbac, she planned for a vbac, she chose the providers most likely, in this uber-medicalized town, to support a vbac. Then at the end of her pregnancy they started pressuring her that she might go overdue, and...need a c/s! :

So sure enough, that's just how it worked out (and not without a fight). And, as a bonus, the OB nicked her bladder and she nearly bled out. Super!

So, let's see, why doesn't she ever want to get pregnant again? And why is it pretty easy for me to see why she would never want to go through another c/s?

Or perhaps some of us are thinking, well, what a crybaby! THAT'S not likely to happen again! So she had two bad c/sections! LOTS of people have c/sections that go really well!

I can't seem to help the snarky tone. I get a bit miffed when people feel like decrying ugly, bad c/s's is the same as saying that no one should ever have one or be sorry they did. That is so minimizing the pain of many mamas.

And, for the record, I don't know ANY mamas in this town who've had 2 c/s's who believe they have a snowball's chance in hell at getting a vbac. And I agree with them. The LEAST medicalized CNM practice in town thought I was crazy for nursing my not-quite-2 y.o. Lay midwives are illegal. A vba1c is a miracle around here.

Tracy, doula and Army wife and homeschooling mama to A and E
citizenfong is offline  
#29 of 57 Old 05-07-2006, 11:17 AM
 
TexasSuz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,781
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry if I offended anyone by praising c-sections but I stand benhind my statement. I feel that it is the attitude against all, even necessary c-sections in the natural parenting world that leads many woman to be traumatized by having a c-birth. They are made to feel less than and lectured about having a less than "natural" birth.

For example, in our local AP group two women were recently pregnant. Both went for a Vbac. One was successful but the other woman ended up with another c-section after hours of labor (no drugs). The first woman was celebrated as a hero. The second woman was told "I'm so sorry for you." People in the group did not celebrate her birth. She was made to feel like she "failed." It made me soooooo upset.

I have had militant women tell me that my two planned c-births were unneccessary without even knowing anything about my medical history! Just the fact that I had a c-section was enough for me to be judged.

Sorry but it happens! What traumatizes women about c-sections is sometimes that attitude of other women, not the birth itself. C-sections should be viewed as potentially lifesaving methods of birth. Are they used sometimes when they aren't necessary? Yes - choose your OB wisely. But, I strongly believe that more babies and mothers have been saved my c-sections than have been harmed by them.

Our attitudes need to change so that more women who have c-sections feel supported, not judged or pitied.
TexasSuz is offline  
#30 of 57 Old 05-07-2006, 11:20 AM
 
citizenfong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog
Actually the incidents someone mentioned of court orders being issued to force a woman into a caesarian are very real. So in some jurisdictions it is legal, or has been legal long enough to cause at least a few women to be forced into surgeries they do not want. The other problem with relying on the idea of legality is that labor is a relatively short period of time and doctors have a lot more power than patients. This means that there is a lot of coercion and forced "consent" that can happen, with very little legal recourse. You're not going to be on the phone to your lawyer when you're 8 cm dilated, and even if you were, there's not much your lawyer would be able to get done for you between that time and the doctor starting to operate. And after the surgery has happened, unless someone dies, there's even less that can be done. This is why we have to be vigilant and pay attention to these "worst case scenario" stories, like the opening post. We have to watch out for our rights.

Thank you for that excellent explaination. I have often wished I had the words to articulate exactly why it is not always helpful to tell mamas, "You can just tell them NO!" Yes, you can, but that does not guarantee that they will listen.

Tracy, doula and Army wife and homeschooling mama to A and E
citizenfong is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off