so scared for my sister - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 05-11-2006, 11:55 AM - Thread Starter
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x-posted from VBACs

She is 38 wks preg and the docs have been talking about doing a c-section for months now - just because her last baby's shoulders were slightly stuck! No other reason. My sis was a nurse and told them they are crazy basically. She thought maybe the doc forgot and thought her son had ongoing probs from it or something - he was fine.

Well, now they are saying that if she hasn't delivered by next Wed they will do a stress test and sonogram and if the baby has gotten much bigger a c/s or if not much bigger just induce.

Doesn't help that my sis really thinks her last baby was almost too big. I keep encouraging her - telling her that midwives say if you can get up off your booty - squat, kneel, hang on someone etc - that your pelvis has 1-3 inches more space in it and I'm encouraging her to do that. But if she's induced she says they won't let you out of bed. I told her to sqaut in bed.

Well, as my mom says, my sis knows how to read all the charts, so they won't pull the wool over her eyes by saying that the heartbeat is fluctuating (when it's only off by 2 beats or something). But I'm so afraid for her because I know they will tell her that the baby is too big for her to deliver vaginally and that it will be risky to the baby to try it. And what is she going to say??

I'm not that close to her so I don't want to be pushy, but if I can save her from a c/s (I had one - ugh! with an only 8% c/s rate birth center). Any ideas??? I'm so scared for her!!
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#2 of 6 Old 05-11-2006, 12:31 PM
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It's good that she is rejecting their advice from their mysterious crystal ball... lol. I'd be worried too, I'd try to fortify her & tell her she is right to stand her ground. Here is an article you can send her about why induction is rarely advised for suspected big babies:,00.html

and one about induction:

Remind her that she can say, "I appreciate your recommendation, we will consider it and let you know what we decide." She has the right to flat out refuse the induction. Even if they schedule it she can choose not to go.
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#3 of 6 Old 05-11-2006, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
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thanks for the articles. I am sure that by this time she is *totally* sold on the "need" to induce as she had it with 2 of her last 3 babies. One 'cause labor was slow and they gave no other alternative but a dismal go home and you could be there suffering for days and the sencond I think may have been valid as her son had some health issues. But then again it could have just been 'cause he was big - he was the one whose shoulders were stuck.

I know induction is bad, but it's pointless to argue taht with her. I more want to arm her for when the doc says an induction is out because the baby is simply too big and a vaginal birth would be too risky and htey need to do a c/s. Going into labor naturally - unless it happens before next wed - will not happen.
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#4 of 6 Old 05-11-2006, 12:46 PM
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It may be a little late, but Ina May's Guide to Childbirth disspelled any fears in me of have a baby be "too big". If the baby "gets stuck" (and the chances of that truly happening are sooo sooo slim) all she would need to do is get on her hands and knees, of course having a practitioner who is familiar with this is helpful. I'd be scared for her too. Docs like to back women into corners with things like this, if they tell her her baby is in danger whats she going to say? "That's okay, I'll risk it." ??? Its a tough situation. What I've learned is you can't save everyone, even your own family. Just lovinging give her all the info you can and then you've got to let it go. Sadly, an innocent baby is involved and you know how hard a c/s can be, I totally understand. I guess I'm just saying that if she does elect to do a c/s, don't beat yourself up! I know, its much easier said than done.

Holly, eternally in love partners.gif with Kolby, Raising Juelie Anise (10y), Behnjamin Shen (6y), and Coen Syaoran (4y). Expecting June 2013 2ndtri.gif

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#5 of 6 Old 05-11-2006, 02:48 PM
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I second that----let her read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It talks about midwives using the Gaskin maneuver---mother on all fours with shoulder dystocia baby----to facilitate delivery. Sounds like the doctors are pitching their best to sell the C-section. Ina May also lists the risks from C-section in her book---this info is not widely available to moms these days. Check it out!
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#6 of 6 Old 05-13-2006, 03:44 AM
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I've already posted these once, but I've lost the other thread (back when it was in LWAB.)
So, fun reading Sorry to duplicate, but I figured these may help- my second baby had sticky shoulders, and we were very antsy about the possibility of having trouble with Skye's shoulders.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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