Terrified here - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 01:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
littlemama06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


I am very afraid, I am not even sure why. I am 37weeks and 3 days.I have been in prodromal hell land for almost two weeks.Tuesday i begged my MF to check me, i was 2 cm, 60 effaced, -2 station and my cervix is soft and squishy.she said the baby is BIG (close to 7 lbs already)and if i go full term she will be 9 lbs or so.I am tall,5'8" and my dh is 6'3".she said iam made to have big babies, she actaully said, You have enough room to part a greyhound bus in there( thanks)
It seems to me the the big babes who are born with little problems are born at home, not in a freaking hospital.It looks like many homebirth moms have 8,9,10 lb babies.Now I wish I was having a home birth or even birthing at THE FARM( I would love Ina May to help me birth Violet)i live about 2-3 hours from The Farm and my midwfie was born there and delivered by Ina May Gaskin.
Iam just so afraid that Violet will be HUGE , i will labor for hours and i will give in , get an epi and end up with her stuck in my birth canal, have a CS or even somethign worse: .If I am at home or was lucky enough that Nashville still had a free standing birthing center, i could nt get an epi if I wanted one.
I keep telling her(Violet) that if she is ready to be born ,I am SO very ready to meet her.
I am worring so much I cant sleep,
Kaitlin
littlemama06 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 01:31 AM
 
MamaTaraX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,444
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know plenty of big babies born in hospitals naturally Chin up and stick to your guns mama. {{{peaceful birth}}} to you!

Namaste, Tara
MamaTaraX is offline  
#3 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 01:33 AM
 
willow659's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: middle tennessee
Posts: 312
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's so hard to feel like that Have faith in yourself and your baby. You can do it.
willow659 is offline  
#4 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 01:51 AM
 
Satori's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Earth, I think, kids say Cybertron
Posts: 7,730
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Your baby is NOT big and at most they gain 1/2 lb a week at this point. I'm due the day after you and last week the OB told me the baby looks to be 6.5 to 7lbs at 36 weeks, at no time did he say anything like "big" or "large" baby. If I make it to 40 weeks I expect baby will weigh about 8lbs which is NORMAL. Relax, from what I hear from women in Europe bigger babies are EASIER to birth and they feel sorry for women who have to birth small babies because its more painful. You will be fine, i'm actually a little worried at the thought of birthing a tiny baby after hearing all those birth stories of hard births and little babies.

Seriously?
Satori is offline  
#5 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 03:16 AM
 
erin_brycesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Honestly that doesn't sound that big to me. Plus the estimate could be way off. I have had two 9 and a half lbers in the hospital without problem. The first one was induced and not a fun labor but the 2nd one was all natural and drug free and not even a tear. YOu can do this mama!!!! If you are fearing the size, this could cause you to tense up during labor and not allow your body to do it's thang. I know it is hard but please try to relax and let go of your fears about the size. It is extremely rare for a woman to grow a baby too large to birth vaginally. FWIW, I found pushing on my hands and knees (with my arms leaning over the bed for support) to be the best position to get out my 2nd who had a large head.

~Erin
erin_brycesmom is offline  
#6 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 03:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
littlemama06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks everyone, i am just so hormonal..i KNOW i can do this, not sure why I was so freaked out but i do feel better now!
Kaitlin
littlemama06 is offline  
#7 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 03:28 AM
 
solomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 82
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So many friends have been told that their babe was gonna be such and such size, and when born was actually at least 2 lbs away from the estimated size. I have heard several people say the baby puts on a pound a week in the last few weeks in utero--not true.
It is actually quite rare for the baby to simply be too big for yo to give birth to. You will stretch and accomodate your baby mama!!
You are statistically MUCH more likely to have big problems (forceps, suction, caesarean etc), if you start down the intervention path at the hospital, which starts with pain medication. They (nurses, doctors etc) might ask you many times "Are you sure you dont want an epidural?" or other pain meds, but if you have decided you dont, say no one time, and stick to it, dont let them pressure or bully. You are more likely to need pitocin, and other forms of intervention after an epidural. I presume thats part of what you are afraid of?
Both my babes were 9lbs, I am 5'10 and dh is 6'2, I know everyone is different, but for me it was hard work but not impossible! . Read some good books, talk with some positive mamas, and have a wonderful birth!!
solomom is offline  
#8 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 08:36 AM
 
chevy974's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 1,375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had 2 over 10 lb babies in the hospital with out so mu ch as an asprin. My births and labors werent bad at all. I realize everyone has there own thresh hold for what they can endure hang int here mama you can do it.

Amy
chevy974 is offline  
#9 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 08:57 AM
 
Miss Juice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In a huge pile of laundry
Posts: 2,463
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Please try not to worry!

I've had a 7lb 12 oz baby and a 9lb 2 oz baby, both completely natural in the hospital. My labors were 12 hours and 3.5 hours respectively - and I didn't even tear with the bigger baby. Your body knows just what it is doing.

I have also heard (and it matches my experience) that bigger babies are not harder to birth. They're mostly just fatter, and fat is soft and squishy and easy to push out
Miss Juice is offline  
#10 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 09:37 AM
 
velveeta's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,564
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My mother had FIVE babies in the hospital, naturally, and three of them were over 10 pounds!

You can do it!

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
velveeta is offline  
#11 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 10:43 AM
 
Hayes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,335
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My William was 9pounds 2ounces, born in a hospital, drug free. He was actually really easy to birth. I never pushed him, just waited for the doctor to show up and catch him. My husband was all ready to catch, just in case!
Hayes is offline  
#12 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 10:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
littlemama06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you , after a good nights sleep i feel much we sure of my self and my body to birth this baby.

Kaitlin
littlemama06 is offline  
#13 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 11:18 AM
 
Breathless Wonder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,133
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Kait-
Do you think it would help to go and read some of the birth stories here?

There are SO many stories of women pushing out 10, 11, and 12 pound babies with no problem, and also plenty of stories of women getting sectioned for "HUGE" babies that turned out to be 6 or 7 pounds. Our society tends to obsess over how BIG the baby will be, when there are many factors that contribute to difficulty pushing out a baby, many of them brought on by medical interventions, some out of our control, and some easily remedied by simple changes of position, etc.

Honestly? My longest pushing was due to my baby being malpositioned- posterior, and brow presentation. Once I changed position to hands and knees, he was born in 3 pushes (he was my second smallest).

The most frustrating pushing? My baby who ended up being the smallest weight wise. When I stopped pushing, her head, which was half way out, went back in! I was so frustrated!

My easiest by far, was my largest baby.

Also, have you had a chance to read "Birthing From Within"? you might find the exercises in it very helpful for overcoming your fear.

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.  ~Albert Einstein
Breathless Wonder is offline  
#14 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 03:06 PM
 
savithny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My babies were 9 and 10 pounds respectively, both born in hospital with CNM attendants and no meds. I pushed about 40 minutes with #1, while #2 came out with one push. I tore a small amount with #1 and not at all with #2.

I'm tall and broad hipped -- the midwife, after #1 was born at 8#14oz, said, "yeah, you could handle a 10 or 11 pounder pretty well." I didn't mean to prove her right with #2, though.

You can do it!

savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

savithny is offline  
#15 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 04:44 PM
 
AugustineM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Whidbey Island, WA
Posts: 3,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This might just be me but I find it odd that your midwife called the baby "BIG" when you are almost 38 weeks and she said only 7 lbs! I also find it odd your midwife felt the need to emphasize how large she thought he was. It doesn't seem very "responsible" for her to say that, when she should know how paranoid women often get about the fact that they might have a large baby. At most, your baby could be 8 lbs when she is born, as they gain about 1/2 pound a week at the end. When I had an ultrasound at 37 weeks with DS 1 they said he was already 8 lbs. He was 8 lbs 13 oz at birth.

Oh, and your body is made to birth your baby, even if she is a bigger one. You will be great. Envision yourself stretchy and strong!

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
AugustineM is offline  
#16 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 04:49 PM
 
ladybugchild77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 2,420
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Not too much time to post - toddler helping me type. Kiera was 9lb 4oz. I had her naturally in a hospital - I am also 5'9". My grandma had 5 kids naturally and all were over 9lbs! You can do it!!!
ladybugchild77 is offline  
#17 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 04:53 PM
 
newmainer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: midcoast Maine
Posts: 1,561
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hate the way people and the medical profession (including some midwives) freak out over the size of babies and make qualifying statements over what is a "big" baby. Can we talk about healthy babies, regardless of their size?? anyway...

my son, who is nearly 2 weeks , was just about 9 1/2 lbs. For awhile there, leading up to his birth, i was nervous about his size too. my daughter was "only" 7.6 and so i was scared about having a baby much bigger. You know what? never did i think while i was laboring or pushing him out (which was *much* easier than with my daughter- faster, more controlled and the same minimal tearing as with her) that it was harder because he was bigger. Labor is work and painful, regardless of how big or small the baby is. You won't know the difference.

you know what else is cool? my midwife told me this: penises and vaginas originate from the same cells before the differentiate. No one blinks an eye at the fact that penises often double their size and are meant to get larger and shrink back to normal size- * so are vaginas!! * so, in the words of Ina May ( i believe) - you will get bigger than your baby!

I am a homeopath, offering acute and constitutional consultations for children, babies, and parents. Long-distance treatment is easy, either phone or skype! I also am certified to offer Homeoprophylaxis, a vaccine-alternative program. Message me for more details. www.concentrichealing.com
newmainer is offline  
#18 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 05:01 PM
 
valeria_vi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't read all the replies, so exuse me if I repeat someone.
it sounds like your mw is very supportive and trusts in birth. she didn't panic at the prospect of a "large" baby. she actually said that you are made to have this baby and that you will. isn't that encouraging? plus, the estimates can be way off as well.
talk to your mw about how important it is for you to birth this baby naturally and since she seems very supportive, I hope she will help you achieve your goal.

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
valeria_vi is offline  
#19 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 05:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
littlemama06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know you all are right,I was just freaking a little. Thanks so much
Kaitlin
littlemama06 is offline  
#20 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 05:15 PM
 
natashaccat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: -40 F
Posts: 3,253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is wonderful that you MW has confidence in your ability to birth a lagre baby, quite frankly I'm not sure why she bothered to make this prediction though, because it sounds like she has unnessesarily worried you.

I don't think size of baby has anything to do with how long or painful your labor will be. I had a much longer labor with my smaller baby and labor was equally painful in both cases.

Pushing now, that's another story, my larger baby was actually easier to push because:

1) it wasn't an induction, I went into labor with a very soft cervix.
2) I was able to position myself in a way that was comfortable for me and my MW had me reach down feel my baby's head and deliver her myself. This gave me sooo much more control over how the pushing stage felt so it wasn't like this scary unknown thing happing happening below my waist.
3) my MW provided perinial support during the pushing stage, this was a huge help because it gave me something to push against so I was able to let go of my fear of tearing.


I think it might be good to talk to your MW about her positioning philosophy. Will she deliver babies on the floor? Does she use a birthing stool? If the mom is required to be in bed for some silly hospital reason how does she accomodate this to get mom's in an appropriate birthing position? Does she do perinial support during position? Will she be comfortable with you catching your own baby?

Also do you have a doula? Having someone other than you DH to support your labor can make a huge difference in helping you feel strong and supported so that you won't panic and ask for drugs when you hit transition. (Panic is a very commom symptom of transition and probably when you are most likely to ask for drugs.)
natashaccat is offline  
#21 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
littlemama06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks, yes I have a doula, my mom, my sister and dh for support.Mylittle sis has even read The Bradley Method book, he birth partner and The birth Book-Dr.Sears. I will ask my MW about birthing positions next week.Thanks for all the advice,
Kaitlin
littlemama06 is offline  
#22 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 05:29 PM
 
Mama8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UT
Posts: 474
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
dd #2 was born naturally in a hospital and weighed 9lbs 3oz labor took 3 hours
dd #3 was born naturally in a hospital and weighed 8lbs 12oz labor took 4 hours
dd#7 was born at home and weighed 9lbs 6oz and labor took 1 hour 1 min.

Good luck!
Mama8 is offline  
#23 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 07:03 PM
 
boscopup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 5,037
Mentioned: 12 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
I think as long as you have a midwife that isn't scared of "big babies" (and 9 lbs is NOT "huge"), you should be fine. The problem with so-called "big babies" in a hospital is when you have an OB who is afraid that anything over 8 lbs will get stuck and require a C-section. And frankly, that's just silly!

I have a friend who birthed a 12 lb baby at home - no tearing! I'm jealous. My baby wasn't even 4 lbs and I tore. We all said she gave birth to a 3 month old - he was a chunk!

But I think you CAN do it, and that you aren't going to have a 15 lb'er or anything. Also, if you really wanted a homebirth or even to birth at the Farm, it's not too late. I know of people that have transferred care to the Farm last minute. But it does sound like you'd be fine with the midwife you have. Definitely look into alternate birthing positions. Your midwife will hopefully suggest these to you anyway - like hands and knees, etc.

My DS probably would have been close to 9 lbs if I'd gone full term, and I would not be surprised if I had a 9 lb baby this time around if I'm full term. Like you, I'm 5'9" and have "good birthing hips" as I've always been told during gyn exams. And DH is 6'5", so I'm not likely to have a shrimpy baby. DS was big for his gestation when he was born early - most babies his gestation are closer to 3 lbs, and he was almost 4. But I am completely confident in my ability to birth whatever size baby God gives me, whether I be in the hospital or out-of-hospital (I have to go to TN to birth out-of-hospital... I'm an hour and a half south of you in AL).

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
boscopup is offline  
#24 of 25 Old 05-25-2006, 09:07 PM
 
grace's voice's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,709
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sure its been mentioned already, but I didn't have time to read every post. Big babies are EASIER to birth. Seriously! They slide back less and take much less effort. Their heads are the same size as smaller babies and fat is squishy and the body just slips right out anyway. My first was over 9 pounds and was a homebirth, my labor only took 3 hours. I decided to switch to a homebirth 3 weeks before my due date, and I'm SO glad that I did because of how fast and intense things were. We're planning another homebirth for this baby. I was hoping to break my baby weight record and have a 10 pounder, at least, but it looks like he'll be a little early and will be closer to 8 pounds.
You can do it! The bigger, the better!

Holly, eternally in love partners.gif with Kolby, Raising Juelie Anise (10y), Behnjamin Shen (6y), and Coen Syaoran (4y). Expecting June 2013 2ndtri.gif

grace's voice is offline  
#25 of 25 Old 05-26-2006, 12:20 AM
 
missm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 18
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Amen to what all the other Mama's said about big babies and hospital births. You'll do fine! Think positive!

As per the lack of sleep and worrying. My first was a rough one, so I worried so much the last three weeks before my second was due. I only slept about 2 -3 hours a night and that made me worry EVEN more. I worried that I wouln't have energy to push the baby out, blah, blah, blah, the list goes on and on ...
In the end, my second labour was a long one, but so incredibly managable. If my third goes anything like my second I'll be thrilled.

When the time comes, you do what you have to do. And you will do just that. You will do what you have to do. And do not at any point, start to think that the decisions you will make are a failure. You will do your best with what you know.

I totally agree with the Mama who said to read the birth stories. They are so uplifting (most of them). They will get you so excited about birthing this baby.

Good luck!
missm is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off