Cesarean Birth Support Thread June/July - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 84 Old 07-21-2006, 08:05 PM
 
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I don't know if you ever get past it....maybe going through it is a better phrase. When I was pregnant with ds (#2) I journed a LOT about my birth experience with dd (failed induction at 42 weeks with high BP, c/s) and cried a lot too. I wouldn't say I got over it, but I really let myself feel everything (such as that I felt cheated out of a birth, was mad at myself, the midwife and dh, etc) and that was so helpful.

So when we had to make some decisions about ds's birth, and we chose a repeat c/s at 43 weeks with high bp and baby transverse, I knew that I had done everything I felt comfortable with doing to VBAC and so was okay with the c/s. Sad, but not traumatized. Hope that makes sense.
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#62 of 84 Old 07-22-2006, 08:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride
I've been privately thinking of mine as a babyectomy for years, and recently shared the term with the ladies on ICAN. I have to confess that I don't mean anything cute by it, though. I just feel that "cesarean" tends to emotionally obscure the fact that it's surgery.
Oh! That was you!? I recently posted the hysterotomy article. I like babyetomy though.

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Originally Posted by coloradoalice
And, from all apperances, my tail bone was most likely a huge reason why I ended up with c-sections. The bone structure in my pelvis is definiately off, and the bottom of my tailbone points straight into my pelvis.
I started with a new chiro after my dd was born. The guy was great - his son was a homebirth in FL (with a midwife who was "illegal" ), non-vaxing, natural-healthy oriented. He said that my pelvis was pushed forward and my tailbone curved in which probably explained why my dd never engaged. He was trying to fix my pelvis so I was really hopeful for a vbac. Unfortunately, he recently passed away and I feel so depressed. I research and encourage vbac but part of me doesn't really think it will ever happen for me.

I will definitely have a back up plan for a more satisfying c-s. Last time it was unexpected (after an uneventful pg). I was so just sad that I had no part in bringing her into the world. I want to see her come out, I wanted to see her all goopy, and I want her in recovery with me-not like last time!

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#63 of 84 Old 07-22-2006, 10:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dlm194
Oh! That was you!? I recently posted the hysterotomy article. I like babyetomy though.
Thanks for posting that. It was one of those things that I couldn't decide whether it qualified as funny or tragic. I loved the bit about "keeping obstetrics at the forefront of medical science"...almost spit coffee all over my keyboard! I do think hysterotomy sounds more medical - maybe not quite as reassuring to some people as "cesarean section" or "cesarean delivery".

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#64 of 84 Old 07-23-2006, 10:41 PM
 
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My DS is a C-section baby. I had a placental abruption--I spotted during my entire pregnancy, from 5 weeks onward, and was put on bed rest at 29 weeks. I took Lamaze classes anyway in the hopes that I could have a natural delivery. My doctors planned to induce at 39 weeks because of my issues, but at 38 weeks, my water broke and I started bleeding--a lot. My doctors started Pitocin, then Cervadil, then Pitocin, for 36 hours, and I never dilated. I never even effaced all the way. Then at the 36th hour, I had another bleeding episode. My doctor at that point said that it was best to go to a C-section while DS was still thriving. I had the spinal at 5:30 and he was born at 6:02 p.m. I breastfed him for the first time at 8:30. I had no breastfeeding issues, very few recovery problems, no PPD, and I was just thankful at that point that he came into the world safe and sound. My only regret is not getting to hold him immediately after he was born (although thankfully, DH did)--for that reason, I'm going to try for a VBAC with the next child.
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#65 of 84 Old 07-24-2006, 01:10 AM
 
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My son was born by "emergency" c-section on November 1st. It was a horribly traumatic experience. I came in fully dilated, wondering if I was in labour and it took almost two hours to get anyone to check me, once they did they found out he was crowning frank breech and the OB shoved him back up toward my womb and held him up there while they ran me upstairs for the surgery. At first I was yelling at them that I was going to deliver vaginally and they kept saying "no", but after a while they just ignored me. I learned later that this is their policy, and it wouldn't have mattered if they'd literally dragged me up while I was screaming "I don't consent" - they do it anyway.
Thing is, I didn't get a healthy baby out of it all - he died of a birth defect before I even woke up. He died in my husband's arms, without tubes, and I'm so grateful for that... but I'm so angry and feel very violated about the section and the way I was treated after.
I wrote out my birth story in three parts here:
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/281749.html
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/282008.html
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/282126.html In case anyone's interested.

I went to my first ICAN meeting just a little bit ago, and it was an incredibly healing experience. I felt like I finally had a safe and good place to tell my story, and his story, and not feel judged. Everyone loves to shoot back about how grateful and how wonderful their c/s experiences were and how everyone else needs to just "Get over it" and be like them - but I, and all the other women there at that meeting, felt raped by their sections.
I'm currently pregnant again, due in October - I'm having a UBAC.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

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#66 of 84 Old 07-25-2006, 01:49 PM
 
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Littleteapot, your story is so beautiful and so sad.
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#67 of 84 Old 07-25-2006, 04:37 PM
 
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Wow, what a great supportive thread!

I had my DS by c-section in March, 2003 after 34 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing. He was posterior and ended up weighing 9 lb 13 oz. Thankfully, it wasn't an emergency c-section and DS was born screaming and perfectly healthy. I, however, started hemorraging and needed 3 blood transfusions. They didn't even show him to me over the sheet after he was born - I had to wait 15 minutes while they weighed him, cleaned him up, etc. Then they showed him to me very quickly, but then took him off to the nursery and DH went with him. DS was perfectly fine and had absolutely no problems. I was bleeding very badly at the time, so maybe that was part of it.
Everything after that is a blur because they drugged me up with morphine, etc. Long story short, I don't even remember holding him for the first time and had a very hard time bonding with him due to the circumstances. I ended up with PPD and it's been a long struggle to come to terms with my delivery. I can't say I am completely at peace with it, but I have worked through much of my disappointment.

I am pregnant again and due in November. I will be having a planned c-section and I'm at peace with that. I am however, a bit nervous about things repeating - such as me not seeing my baby for a while, etc. I have put together a detailed birth plan and thankfully - after doing some research - it appears that the hospital I will be delivering at is very pro-keep-mom-and-baby-together-at-all-times. I'm sure things will be much better.

One question though - I just got off the phone talking to a childbirth educator at the hospital who filled me in on hospital policies etc. I feel very comfortable with everything but one thing bothered me. She said they do NOT allow mom to hold the baby while they are stitching her back up. Mom isn't allowed to hold the baby until she is in recovery. I asked her why and she said it was because mom's arms will have the blood pressure cuff on, etc. and it wouldn't be very safe. But I've heard of many mothers who have held their babies then and it makes a huge difference in bonding with their baby. Women who have their babies vaginally are allowed to hold their babies on their chests right away after birth! Why is my hospital denying c-section moms this? I completely understand that if something is wrong with the baby or I'm not doing so well that it may not happen. But it really bothers me to be told its not an option. I didn't argue with the woman because she can't really do anything, but what can I do?


I plan on talking to my doctor at my next prenatal visit about this and my other birth plan wishes. Any ideas? Can they seriously keep me from holding my baby? It is MY baby and I should be allowed to hold her if I want to! That just really bothers me. :

On the plus side, I asked her how they would respond if I declined the eye ointment and Vitamin K vaccines and she said I would just be asked to sign a waiver and that's all. Also they will not give the Hep B (which we are also declining) without the parents signing a consent form. So that's a relief.

~Erika, wife to Nate / Mom to Nathan, Emily, and Joshua
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#68 of 84 Old 07-25-2006, 04:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erikajo
upOne question though - I just got off the phone talking to a childbirth educator at the hospital who filled me in on hospital policies etc. I feel very comfortable with everything but one thing bothered me. She said they do NOT allow mom to hold the baby while they are stitching her back up. Mom isn't allowed to hold the baby until she is in recovery. I asked her why and she said it was because mom's arms will have the blood pressure cuff on, etc. and it wouldn't be very safe. But I've heard of many mothers who have held their babies then and it makes a huge difference in bonding with their baby. Women who have their babies vaginally are allowed to hold their babies on their chests right away after birth! Why is my hospital denying c-section moms this?
The blood pressure cuff thing is weird, as my bp cuff was kept on in recovery, as well. With ds2, I was nursing in recovery (first time - 3rd section). But, I couldn't have held my baby while I was being stitched up. My arms were at my sides, and I was all hooked up to IVs and such.

Is it possible to ask for a modification? I couldn't actually hold dd or ds2 while being stitched up. (The question didn't arise with ds1, as I was unconscious.) But, my dh held the baby with me. That way, while I wasn't actually holding my baby, in the sense of supporting baby's weight, I was able to touch her/him and feel them pressed up against me. It helped...it helped quite a lot.

Even if you can't...I didn't find that the short period of time separated from ds2 was too terrible. DH took him to the recovery room in the bassinet, while the nurse wheeled me down there. As soon as she had me set up with my monitors, she got dh to pass ds2 to me, and got him latched. He'd only been out for...15 minutes, maybe? I'm not exactly sure, as the sheer terror kind of warps my time sense, but it wasn't a very long time. (With dd, it was almost two hours before I could hold and nurse her, and it was about 12-14 hours with ds1.)

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#69 of 84 Old 07-25-2006, 05:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Erikajo
I, however, started hemorraging and needed 3 blood transfusions. had a very hard time bonding with him due to the circumstances.
I hemorrhaged twice after my first DD,s birth (one right afrer delivery. 2nd 2 days later) and I also had 3 blood transfusions. Even though it was a drug-free waterbirth and my second was a c-sect. due to being transverse breech, the first birth was MUCH harder to recover from (physically and emotionally). I think there's a lot of emotional baggage to wade through when there's an unplanned trauma.

Even though a c-sect was far from how I ever wanted to birth, we sort of knew it was an inevitability for DD#2 (because the stinker would NOT turn for love or money) so when my water broke and she was still breech, I was at peace with knowing she would be birthed surgically. Mind you, I wasn't happy about it, but I was prepared for it and understood the necessity of it. That made it far less emotionally devastating for me.

I wish you a birth you can experience with peace of mind, heart, body, and spirit.

Wife to my DH Mama to my two girls  hearts.gif'03 and love.gif '06 and my sweet babyboy.gif 3-'10 I am blessed.
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#70 of 84 Old 07-25-2006, 05:41 PM
 
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The woman from the hospital just called me back and said she was wrong about them lowering the drape. They do not allow that - something about the sterile environment. They will however set up a mirror so I can see that way.
I am really disappointed - I had really wanted them to lower the drape so I could see my baby born. A mirror will help, but it's just not the same. I understand about the sterile environment, but I am not asking to touch anything - just to watch. And they can put the drape right back up afterwards. I see so many women whose doctors & hospitals do allow this. Is there anything I can do?


Stormbride, you're right - it really isn't that long of a period and my DH is allowed to hold the baby, so she will be right near me. I'm not going to worry about it. Either way it will be much better than my prior birth!

Mamatoto2 - I'm sorry you had to go through that. Thanks for your support.

~Erika, wife to Nate / Mom to Nathan, Emily, and Joshua
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#71 of 84 Old 07-25-2006, 05:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Erikajo
Stormbride, you're right - it really isn't that long of a period and my DH is allowed to hold the baby, so she will be right near me. I'm not going to worry about it. Either way it will be much better than my prior birth!
That's my feeling, too. It still sucked to be separated from ds2 at all, but those few minutes were nothing like the previous experiences. And, I did get to pseudo-hold him in OR...just couldn't take his weight. Even being able to touch dd's face was something.

I don't think it's a coincidence that breastfeeding went more smoothly with ds2 than with either of my others.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#72 of 84 Old 07-25-2006, 09:49 PM
 
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would a video help? I swore that I would videotape my next birth, whatever kind I had, and wouldn't you know that the anesthesiologist didn't press the button? he thought he was taping but no. my point is you can still watch your dc be born, just maybe a few days later.

My dh was insistent that he go with ds at all times and he even did his first bath, was there for the measurements, and was the one who brought him to me in recovery where I nursed. I think ds and I were separated for all of 20 minutes, which was pretty great compared to how it went with dd.
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#73 of 84 Old 07-26-2006, 12:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamabeth
would a video help? I swore that I would videotape my next birth, whatever kind I had, and wouldn't you know that the anesthesiologist didn't press the button? he thought he was taping but no. my point is you can still watch your dc be born, just maybe a few days later.
I really wanted to videotape my c-section, but it wasn't allowed (I think for liability reasons, in case we caught them doing something on the tape or something like that). They did ask me if *they* could video the c-section to use as a teaching tool (but that I wouldn't be allowed to see). Um. . . NO! (It would have been fine with me if I'd been allowed to have a copy too). They also only allowed me to have two people in the OR, but then asked if they could have medical students in to watch. . . Again, NO WAY! Grrrr. . .

Lex

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#74 of 84 Old 07-26-2006, 01:36 PM
 
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Well, actually ours didn't allow video either. But we had video on our still digital camera and so they looked the other way. not like it mattered because he didn't get it, but nice to know we COULD have
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#75 of 84 Old 07-26-2006, 06:08 PM
 
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Our hosptial does not allow video taping during c/s - but when I talked to my OB about either droping curtain or putting up mirrors he said an alternate could be to bring the video camera and not record - but position it so I can see the screen as DH shoots the birth. While we might do this to "sneak" in a video of the birth - I told the OB that I would prefer not to do that as it would be way to easy to miss on that small screen.

Lex - Wow - they actually refused you a chance to video tape the c/s and then asked if they could be wouldn't let you have a copy?!! That is some nerve!!
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#76 of 84 Old 07-26-2006, 08:10 PM
 
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I couldn't have held DS in the OR even if that had let me--the epidural made me shake so badly, they couldn't keep a heart monitor on me. I was in recovery for a few minutes before I stopped shaking. (Another reason I want to do this naturally next time.)

However, DH held DS right next to me, and I was able to touch his head at least. Then DH went into the nursery with him--they cleaned him off, etc., then brought him to me while I was in the recovery room. I got to hold him then, even though the cuff was still on and my IVs were in place.
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#77 of 84 Old 07-26-2006, 09:37 PM
 
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I was shaking really badly from the spinal and hormones (apparently this sometimes happens in natural childbirth too) and the moment that i got to hold her in my arms in recovery, the shaking stopped (well, in my arms, later it moved to my legs). Weird.

I have had two sections, one for breech and the second for low AFI at term. This time i am planning a HBA2C.

Midwifery Student and Mama to 2 daughters and 3 sons.     
ribboncesarean.gif vbac.gifhomebirth.jpg I have given birth a variety of ways and I am thankful for what each one has taught me.

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#78 of 84 Old 07-27-2006, 01:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by may05mommy
I couldn't have held DS in the OR even if that had let me--the epidural made me shake so badly, they couldn't keep a heart monitor on me. I was in recovery for a few minutes before I stopped shaking. (Another reason I want to do this naturally next time.)

However, DH held DS right next to me, and I was able to touch his head at least. Then DH went into the nursery with him--they cleaned him off, etc., then brought him to me while I was in the recovery room. I got to hold him then, even though the cuff was still on and my IVs were in place.
Same for me, my arms were really numb the for my second section, it was kind of weird. I wouldn't have been able to support him, but it was just absolutely wonderful to have my husband hold him right up against my face where I could smell his newness and feel his little chubby cheeks! : It was pure bliss after my first section where my daughter was whisked off to the NICU and I didn't see her for 12 hours.
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#79 of 84 Old 07-29-2006, 08:42 AM
 
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Hi everyone. I used to post to these threads, until after my last c-section I thought I was "done".

First section was for shoulder presentation breech.

Second section was planned as a VBAC, but- ended up another section as his head was so big, and I have a platapoid pelvis which is severe, not allowing me to pass the babies through.

Third was a planned c-section- I had intended to go into labor first, but ended up deciding to schedule as I liked *my* OB and really disliked the other one in the practice.

My OB told me I had a small "rupture" and that I should never have kids again. We took her word for it. A couple of months ago, I went into a new GYN for a Pap and he said what I really had was a window, not nearly such a big deal, and that he felt I was fine to have another . So- he sent me to a high-risk specialist to see if she would agree, and she did. She said I am not higher risk than any other person with 3 sections.

So- I am having a sonohysterogram on Tuesday to check the general state of my uterus, and then I will be "cleared".

If I am so blessed again, I will be planning another section. My last one was the worst by far, so I will be relying on lots of prayer for a better surgery this time. (my second was my best, as I knew it could happen-hadn't considered it the first time).

to all of the mamas posting here, I am glad to be back .

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#80 of 84 Old 07-29-2006, 12:29 PM
 
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How exciting, Patty! I hope that everything goes well and will be praying for a new little one to bless your family!

Midwifery Student and Mama to 2 daughters and 3 sons.     
ribboncesarean.gif vbac.gifhomebirth.jpg I have given birth a variety of ways and I am thankful for what each one has taught me.

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#81 of 84 Old 07-30-2006, 05:59 PM
 
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Thank you Erin .

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#82 of 84 Old 07-30-2006, 08:12 PM
 
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add my story as well?

I also had 2 c/section births.

I conceived for the first time unexpectedly (but happily) at the age of 41. I was petrified of birth, had only heard horror stories from my female relatives (from the age of "twilight sleep"), one cousin's wife ("natural" birth in 1971, swore she'd abort if she ever conceived again), and friends with typical hospital births (episiotomies, flat on their backs, etc). So sadly, I did not anticipate a "beautiful experience", at least at first. I never doubted my body's ability to have a vaginal birth, knew only a couple of people who had had c-sections and they for essentially good reasons (footling breech, water broken and no contractions). Although a section sounded to me like a good way out of the horrors of labor, it didn't seem likely things would go that way for me. I didn't think to "educate" myself.....didn't realize there would be a need....I had read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (ugh), took the hospital's childbirth class, and just assumed, for better or for worse, that my body would get the baby out. After the class, I realized I'd concluded that I wanted to try drug-free labor, but I think I developed this idea more as a personal achievement than as being best for the baby and me.

Fast forward to 3/20/98. I awoke to contractions every 5-10 minutes apart in the middle of the night, was told to come to the hospital, and found to be 1 cm dilated. I was not told to go home, and in my ignorance, did not realize I should have. Labored all morning and into the afternoon, with close contractions and horrific back labor. Talking to a midwife that I befriended recently as well as my own research, I now realize I most likely had a classic posterior presentation. After 11 hours, I was at 2 cm. The OB (the only one in a practice of 4 that I hated - figures doesn't it?), decided to break my water. Again, I didn't know that that was not always advisable. After 3 more hours of excruciating pain and no real support (had only seen OB twice for about 5 minutes, L & D nurse in and out, and DH not the best coach), I gave in to Demerol, which zonked me out but did nothing for my labor. Again, my research revealed that breaking the water probably did nothing but commit the baby to the bad position. No one even mentioned "posterior" (until after the section), much less tell me what to do about it. After being stuck at 3 cm for 6 hours with contractions 2-3 minutes apart and in unrelenting pain, I agreed to the section. The surgery itself went without problems. Unfortunately, my son was born with his jaw slanted to one side (broken water left no cushion? who knows), was never able to latch on to breastfeed. My hospital was very b'feeding UNFRIENDLY, so I got lousy info about what to do about this or pumping, etc. Saw an LC when I got home but after 5 weeks of cup and finger feeding, pumping a minimal amount of milk and just being so devastated by this birth, I gave up and bottle fed.

I became pregnant again when my son was 14 months old, but miscarried at 8weeks. Tried for nearly a year to conceived again, and after finally giving up I became pregnant at the age of 44! I had educated myself more, read up on VBACs although unfortunately only in a book written by an MD. But I still didn't doubt my body's abiltiy to birth vaginally. I thought the previous posterior was a fluke unlikely to happen again and I also blamed the indifference and inertia of the previous doc.

I switched doctors to someone who at least initially seemed much more supportive, progressive, whatever. He agreed to support me for a VBAC. Normal healthy pregnancy, I was delighted. Brief scare with premature labor
at 32 weeks, I was hospitalized for 4 days and on bed rest for 2 weeks after,
but then I was OK. My water broke early one morning at 38-1/2 weeks, and
again contractions were 5-10 minutes apart. I was sure I was on the fast track to having my baby by sunrise. But not........and sadly, I participated in my own failure. I think unconsciously, I was terrified of losing the baby in delivery and at the age of 44 I was not guaranteed another pregnancy....those are the only things I can think of to defend myself. I walked and squatted until I began vomiting uncontrollably, then allowed myself to be talked into lying down. My labor lasted 21 hours. I did dilate further than in my first birth, but incredibly slowly (1-2 cm every 2-3 hours), again the pain was excruciating, no support.....I gave in to every
intervention known to woman. Finally at 9-1/2 cm, I pushed for 2 hours, til I was screaming with pain and exhaustion, only to be told the baby's head was "-3 station"....or as my OB put it, "in heaven". I agreed to another section. Although my second son did not have the jaw problem that my first had, he was bottlefed 3 times while I was knocked out to rest, never really took the breast. Same hospital, same b'feeding ineptitude, another heartbreak. Although this time I pumped and bottlefed for 13 months, and never had to go to formula.

I have struggled with this for years. I also had difficulty bonding, wonder if I even blamed my poor second child for my misery (didn't help that he was a fussy baby and I couldn't even b'feed to console him). Especially at my age, I know I was lucky to conceive at all and to have two normal healthy kids, but sadly this is why no one "gets" my distress over the births. Have blamed myself again and again.

Interestingly, I got my hospital records for the second birth, and according to the surgery report I was beginning to get a uterine tear, so maybe the section was a blessing in disguise. Wish I could believe it...

Tried to ttc one more time to at least get b'feeding right, but went into perimenopause, so it wasn't to be.

I can utterly empathize with anyone who mourns the loss of a dream birth. I still search for a balm for this wound myself. I live in NY State and next April there is an ICAN conference here that will most likely feature a woman named Jamie Stouffer who conducts workshops on working through situations like this. I hope to go and see if I can find my healing.....

May we all find our healings one way or another.........

Janet
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#83 of 84 Old 07-30-2006, 09:13 PM
 
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welcome Janet, and thanks for telling your story. I hope the ICAN conference is a blessing for you...just being on the list and hearing other women's stories helps so much for me too.

that's great Patty!
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#84 of 84 Old 07-30-2006, 10:54 PM
 
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Well ladies, tomorrow I meet with a hb midwife ... she knows that i have had 2 sections and didnt hang up on me, so wish me luck. Its either a hb or a ercs for me. I cant go through another 9 months of fighting again. (not pregnant yet - should be ovulating any day now!)


She'll take me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
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