How many people got their "dream" birth? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Did you get your "dream" birth?
Yes- everything went exactly as I had hoped 91 49.46%
No- things did not go as I had planned/hoped 70 38.04%
Other 23 12.50%
Voters: 184. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-07-2006, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
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I was just wondering how many people's births went as they had expected or hoped?

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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Old 06-07-2006, 06:29 PM
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I had PROM at 29 weeks, so I had to go to the hospital and delivered 4 days later, which means it wasn't my dream birth. It wasn't the horrible experience I was expecting, but it could have been better. But of course, no one dreams of having a premature baby.

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
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Old 06-07-2006, 06:33 PM
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I said, yes, it went as I'd hoped...
aside from the fact that I went into it expecting to be in labor a good 12 hours or more and that contractions would take time to build... what really happened was that my water broke and monster contractions hit me right away, dd was born 3 hours later. BUT everything went as I'd hoped in that I birthed in the water, at home, had the music and lighting I wanted, my birth team was all there, I had awesome support, and a healthy out come. The birth was very intimate... that was what I wanted most. Now, lets see if I can do it again (any day now) with this next little guy!

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Old 06-07-2006, 06:36 PM
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I wasn't quite sure how to answer...the biggest fears I had abou t birthing in a hospital were not realized, in fact the hospital was very supportive of letting me labor without interventions, etc...but I was a little disappointed in how things went after she was born, and it was hardly my "dream" birth - THAT would have been at home.

However, it was a beautiful birth and proceeded with no complications, although I did unfortunately get the epidural, which I hope to avoid next time. So - while I am very satisfied with my birth, I did vote "no" because it was not my ideal, if that makes sense.
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Old 06-07-2006, 06:40 PM
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Yep, pretty much! We'll see if I can get it a third time!

- Krista

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Old 06-07-2006, 06:44 PM
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Yes, our birth went wondefully. We had a peaceful waterbirth at home and it was perfect.
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Old 06-07-2006, 06:52 PM
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We did - I'd do it again! We had a beautiful, midwife assisted waterbirth. In fact, all 3 of our births were great!
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Old 06-07-2006, 07:18 PM
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yes and no: I ended up having to have pitocin, which I'd been sooooo against. My waters broke and I couldn't get contractions going strong enough for me to feel or to start real dilation. So I had to hang out at the hospital for AGES, walking and doing all the rest. That was a bit disappointing. But other than that, it went really well--the pitocin was used wisely, I now feel, in that my body was obviously ready for it (cervix was soft and somewhat effaced, waters had broken etc), and I never felt pressure from the doctors to accept it. They were very respectful of my birth plan, so my main anxiety (interventions, pressure, being out of control) was unfounded. Once I had the pit, the labor was 3.5 hours from the first contrax...including 25 mins of pushing. Super-intense, but quick! No pain meds, no episiotomy, nothing else, and my dh, labor nurse and OB were all wonderfully calming and supportive.

So it was good, but next time I want a home birth!

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Old 06-07-2006, 09:54 PM
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I voted "other" cuz I got one of each

1) DD#1 was an unplanned c-sec, so that of course was not expected
2) DD#2 was a VBAC and went better than I had hoped! I didn't know if I would end up with another c-sec and was prepared, also a part of me just couldn't believe that the VBAC could happen since I had a c-sec previously.

As strange as this may sound, I am glad I had one of each kind of birth. Each had its pros/cons and each was sacred to me
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Old 06-07-2006, 10:04 PM
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The only birth I had that went as planned was the last.

My first baby died the day he was born. He had IUGR and was born at 27 weeks.

My second birth was 30ish hours of slow, early labor at home followed by 39 hours of hard, active labor at home with midwives. We transferred to the hospital when I reached 72 hours of labor. I pushed for about 3-4 hours and finalyl had a c-section.

My third birth was a planned VBAC but in the 13th hour I developed some maternal complications that didn'e effect baby but had a c-section.

My last birth was a planned c-section after ruling a VBAC a real risk due to ,y age and history and cardiac history. It wasn't as bad as the others and I recall it as peaceful and happy.

But I never got the birth I'd hoped for, just the babies. =)
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Old 06-07-2006, 10:45 PM
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number one was a midwife assisted birth in the hospital. burth from hell. but without my very skilled midwife it coul dhave been much worse. she did her best to protect me from hospital policy. she was 6 weeks early and it was a nightmare of hospital p[olicy meets NICU.

#2 was homebirth from hell. the pushing etc went ok but I diodn't likemy midwife, she made me very uncomfortable and then left and the apprentice brushed me off when I said "she doesn't seem to be breathing very well". 5 minutes later she was blue and limp. it got worse from there before it got better.

#3 was 5 minutes of labor in the midwifes office. baby was in shock and had injuries from coming so fast her apgars were 0 and 1. once she got grooving though it was all good. that was definitely my best birth experiance. I did see the whole thing in a dream though. . . .

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Old 06-07-2006, 10:50 PM
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Both my births (with midwives) were great experiences and went as planned. I'm grateful for that.

Being right is not always fair, but being fair is always right
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Old 06-07-2006, 11:03 PM
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After birth my husband noticed that we got almoest everything on our birthplan except the "no phone calls to the labor room" part. A friend called while I was pushing because she heard we were in labor the night before and thought we would've had her by then. Guess they don't show the switchboard birth plans!
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Old 06-07-2006, 11:05 PM
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Most definately not...neither birth.

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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Old 06-07-2006, 11:05 PM
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My first birth went all to

My second birth was perfect. It would have been nice to not tear but sill perfect. I want another one, and next time I won't tear.
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Old 06-07-2006, 11:23 PM
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I've had both and in between!

My first birth was great, but much more overwhelming than I expected, and I did have some hemmorrhage which scared DH half to death, so although it was beautiful and she was perfectly healthy, I wouldn't call it a dream birth.

Second birth turned into a nightmare when it was discovered that he was surprise frank breech and coming very quickly - the midwife was not experienced with breech and for a few minutes it was frightening chaos. He was born depressed and had to be recusitated, had Apgars of 1 and 2, and spent 4 days in NICU.

Third birth was my ABSOLUTE dream birth, though! We made it to the birth center just in time (it's 1 1/2 hrs away) - I was 9 cm when we arrived and labor had been a breeze, not getting really intense until AFTER we arrived and I was in the birth tub. I started to feel "pushy", and 3 minutes later he was out! He was perfect, neither of us had any complications, and we were back home 7 1/2 hrs after his birth. Lots of other details that just made it clear that God was all over this birth, too. During that pg I had imagined over and over having a very fast and easy labor, birthing in the water, and having absolutely no problems and it all happened just like that!
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Old 06-08-2006, 02:17 AM
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My second birth went exactly as I had been visualizing for months: labor at home, get son settled at friend's house, go to hospital, walk in ready to push, have a healthy baby. All of it happened, down to walking in the delivery room at 10 centimeters.
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Old 06-08-2006, 02:44 AM
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I think mine went really well, despite it being a hospital birth - induction - with an epidural. I wouldn't choose an induction again - but I also hope to never have PUPPPs again.
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:02 AM
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I had 2 great births, no interventions, great midwives, no significant problems.

DS was born at a FSBC, after only 7 1/2 hours of labor but 4 hours of that was really painful pushing (completely on my own will and effort, he just wasnt moving... back labor, too, so I think he was mispositioned and had to move before he could come down). He did need oxygen but perked up once he got going, apgars were 5 and 10. Tight nuchal cord may have contributed there too. The midwife left me alone and let me do what I needed to do and kept herself out of my way, only suggesting position changes, and I felt very empowered but I had no idea that pushing would be so hard or painful or that it would take so long (particularly since I dilated so fast and felt so on top of it).

DD was a precipitous labor, luckily we had planned a home birth because she only took a little over 2 hours from start to finish (and with no pushing! after all that the first time). That was in many people's eyes a "perfect" birth... fast, she was perfect and pinked up beautifully without even crying, I picked her up out of my myself, it was gorgeous. It also took me months to process, because it was so fast. I felt like I had missed it psychologically, but been run over by a train physically. I just got out of my body's way because there was no doing anything else. My MW was only there for 7 minutes, DH for 20. I wouldn't say it was scary, but it was utterly overwhelming. I'm newly pg with #3 and I have to say I have baggage still (which I didnt know until I got pg again!) from this birth, more in many ways than from my first which was grueling in its own way.

So neither was the birth I had dreamed of, but they were both great, empowering, wonderful births that I feel utterly blessed to have. Does that make sense? I wish I could be someone who has time to make a birthday cake and enjoy their labor... maybe with this one!
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Amila
I was just wondering how many people's births went as they had expected or hoped?
What I had hoped was a positive birth experience. It was not perfect by any means, but it was a positive experience so I can't complain at all. I learned from it and will go on to have a out of hospital birth for the next one.

Heather Mike Married 8/1/99 Mom to Charlotte Aug 04, Nov 06, and Katherine Oct 07
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:16 AM
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My first homebirth, third birth, was so perfect it was better than I'd ever imagined.
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Old 06-08-2006, 04:55 AM
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Ds's birth was everything I'd hoped for and more. I unknowingly did most of my labor at home, I had my waterbirth in a beautiful FSBC with 2 great midwives and a great nurse, ds was beautiful and latched on immediately. It was the greatest thing in the world and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

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Old 06-08-2006, 05:03 AM
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My first 2 births were absolutely wonderful MW assisted homebirths.

3rd birth was a beautiful UC followed by a hospital transfer nightmare. Just looking at the birth part, my UC was by far my most pleasant birth, but the whole experience was better the first 2 times.

I voted "other" because none of the births went *exactly* as I had planned or hoped.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 06-08-2006, 05:28 AM
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It went about as well as I expected, but nowhere near what I would call a dream birth. I had my daughter in the hospital because I couldn't afford a midwife, and I was completely ignorant about UCs at the time(had never heard of them). Everything went perfectly, with the exception of everything that was simply related to the fact that I was in the hospital(although it did go VERY well considering the fact that I was there).
Also, the people present didn't make up my dream birth team. One of my closest friends lives 5 hours away, and I had a falling out with another close friend a few weeks prior to giving birth, so it was disappointing that the two of them weren't present. My doula and another close friend were there and were awesome, and my mom and sister were also there, but I'm not close with either of them so that was a little awkward. Although it was pretty cool to give birth with help from all females- the girl-power energy in the room was fabulous.
I would consider my dream birth one at home and in water, with the child's father and my doula(and possibly a couple friends) present. Next time!
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Old 06-08-2006, 06:10 AM
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Definitely no... all 3 c-sections, not what I wanted. My last one really gets to me as I deperately wanted a vba2c. I'm still hoping for a "dream" birth with my 4th... that is if there ever is a 4th

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
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Old 06-08-2006, 06:13 AM
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mine was so different than i had imagined, but it was amazing anyway.
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Old 06-08-2006, 06:35 AM
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At the time I was pretty happy just to have stayed unmedicated considering the circumstances (giving birth in a hospital in Croatia, where non-hospital birth is illegal, and birth attitudes/practices are backwards, to say the least : ).
Labour was about 8 hrs but very difficult, probably because it was spent (ALONE! and afraid - not even husband allowed until pushing stage!) entirely in hospital - my waters broke first and I believed the people who said that I had to get there straight away.
Next time though I'm definitely going back to New Zealand for a home-birth - a long way I know, but worth it!
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Old 06-08-2006, 11:43 AM
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I voted No. I wanted a natural birth, but I was not prepared for prodromal labor or a labor where the pain was still a 9 between contractions so essentially I wasn't getting much of a break between contractions. So I ended up with an epidural and an episiotomy and vacuum suction... Not at all what I had in mind.

Tana, wife to Steve (5/02), mom to Ben (7/03), Joey (10/06) and Caroline (9/09)
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Old 06-08-2006, 01:30 PM
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Both were good experiences.

With #1 i made it to 5cm by staying at home for a while, but got to the hosp and caved got a epidural. my daughter was 7lbs 13oz 20" no tearing i had a midwife.

With #2 i wanted all natural and to avoid a epidural so i hired a doula it was so great, i was even talking on the phone at 8cm through strong contractions. he was my big baby at 8lbs 14oz 22" i also ended up with a midwife and no tearing.

Kami(31)DH(35)Alex(11),(4/05) (7/05),Ryker(8)(11/10) 
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Old 06-08-2006, 01:35 PM
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I voted 'other' because I have given birth four times.

One of those births was a "Dream Birth" The other three were learning experiences.

#1 72hours/posterior baby/born on hands and knees in the hospital with an Ob
#2 28hours/castor oil induction at 43wks/born in my living room on a deBy birth stool
#3 9hours of EASY labor/waterbirth/ DREAM BIRTH midwife walked in as the baby crowned, birth was etherial
#4 3hour labor/VIOLENT contractions left me feeling like I'd been run over by a freight train
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