Not allowed to scream???!!! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 56 Old 08-07-2006, 06:35 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm liking the Scientologists' attitude more and more, everyone *else* has to try to be quiet and avoid speaking, but the mother can make whatever noises she needs.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#32 of 56 Old 08-07-2006, 08:47 PM
 
Full Heart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Surronded by Dairy Farms AZ
Posts: 3,641
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've seen that on so many birth shows, really bugs me. They obviously have no idea how natural birth is supposed to work. Maybe it bugs them because it is like making love and its very uncomfortable for the people there. Like watching someone orgasm.

During my transfer with #2 I hit some decibles, poor dh suprised I didn't do damage to his ears (in the car, like a echo chamber). With #3 the louder I moaned the less pain I felt. It was great. Was my shortest labor too...Maybe theres something to that

Expecting #9.  Always busy hsing.
Full Heart is offline  
#33 of 56 Old 08-07-2006, 10:14 PM
 
sanguine_speed's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I thought I was the only one whose midwife actually told that to.
I was stunned but in too vulnerable a position to discuss the matter right then. I will be choosing a different midwife next time and discussing at length.

4 kids under 10
sanguine_speed is offline  
#34 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 12:22 AM
 
Max'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would have been so ticked at my midwives if they told me to be quiet! For my labor it was the opposite, they encouraged me to be as loud as I wanted

Mama crochetsmilie.gifto Max blahblah.gif9, Neva hearts.gif 7, & Esme fairy.gif4 and Julius guitar.gif 2.

 
 
 

Max'sMama is offline  
#35 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 12:39 AM
Administrator
 
adinal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 24,778
Mentioned: 14 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 64 Post(s)
I would have told my midwives where to get off if they had told me to be quiet. : Fortunately, they responded to my yells by telling me I was doing everything right.

winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg

 

adinal is offline  
#36 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 01:25 AM
 
CryPixie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: drifting away...
Posts: 3,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdinaL
I would have told my midwives where to get off if they had told me to be quiet. : Fortunately, they responded to my yells by telling me I was doing everything right.
I certainly wish I had told them to shove off... multiple times, for multiple reasons : But, at least now I get my UC
CryPixie83 is offline  
#37 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 06:08 AM
 
christygen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've never birthed before but i'm pregnant. Will be doing homebirth. If I want to scream, grunt, moan walk around naked or anything else i'm going to do it. Whatever makes me feel good is what i'm going to do.
christygen is offline  
#38 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 11:00 AM
 
illinoismommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 856
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
lol... if you scream, what are they going to do, kick you out? Let out a good wail for us

Homeschooling SAHM to 3 children under 5 + one on the way.
illinoismommy is offline  
#39 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 03:08 PM
 
Lady Madonna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Washington State
Posts: 628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't scream (high-pitched yelping sort of screaming) in labor, but I was *loud*. REALLY loud. EXTREMELY loud. At one point, I was practically punching the wall around the tub! I tried to focus on what Ina May wrote about keeping the jaw and throat loose and letting the sound come from deep down, not way up in my throat.

After all was said and done, I said something like "I was pretty loud, wasn't I?" The OB said yeah, they heard you down the hall. I started to apologize, but she stopped me, saying that it had been GREAT because they had two moms who were being very quiet and not progressing, and when they heard me and were told it was OK to make that much noise, they loosened up and started moving along!

But I think my hospital experience is sadly the exception, not the rule. I really loved where I birthed and will be back there again with this baby.

Mama to DD : (7/23/03) & DS : (10/27/06) married to DH 7/20/01
and yet 90% more mainstream than the rest of MDC
Lady Madonna is offline  
#40 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 03:12 PM
 
muckemom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In the mountains of Idaho!!!
Posts: 2,286
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had awful back labor and my doula was coaching me through it... I only screamed once and she said, "You can scream if you want to but it won't help" I hated her for that... but she was right... for me... growling was what helped.
muckemom is offline  
#41 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 03:16 PM
 
RubyV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Western NY (I miss NYC)
Posts: 1,134
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My midwife encourage the yelling, especially when my labor became complicated and I had to stop pushing. She told me to scream through the contractions.

I also remember the nurses freaking out when I put my hand down and streached myself while pushing. My midwife said "good going!"

Goddess bless her.
RubyV is offline  
#42 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 03:18 PM
 
elanorh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 2,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't feel any urge to yell or scream or anything ... I think it was mostly a quiet birth. I just did what felt natural throughout the process (I did ask the nurse at one point if I should be shifting breathing techniques since I'd gone on to the "next" stage, and she said, "If it's working for you, why change?" ). She also told me that some of the other nurses were wondering if I realized I was in labor. DH says I moaned "a little" while pushing. I can actually remember the sounds of the nurses setting up in the corner while I was in active labor, so I must not have been very loud ...?

I think it depends on the mom. I bet the "noise" scares the staff (worrying that you're going to get out of control etc.) -- and therefore they think by squelching the noise, they'll be preventing mom from panicking. Kind of like putting a bandaid on a sprained arm and thinking it'll help.

I was fortunate, the OB and hospital staff were really great with us. It probably helped that I was certain of my plan, and had a relatively quick labor (arrived at 12:30, birth four hours later). A lot less time to 'interfere.'

Not all who wander are lost.
elanorh is offline  
#43 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 03:21 PM
 
tullyleague's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Holden, MA
Posts: 51
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Never heard of that. I screamed as loud as I wanted to. In fact, the nurse encouraged it.
tullyleague is offline  
#44 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 04:41 PM
 
arlecchina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 993
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was telling my best friend about this thread in an outrage and while she had 2 hospital births she was pleased with, at diff hospitals, she said she was also told this both times - NO NOISE!
arlecchina is offline  
#45 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 05:21 PM
 
valeria_vi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,745
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryPixie83
Ya mean like how my midwives chastised me for yelling (roaring? ) while they "forced" me into squatting ( I *hate* squatting, it's painful for me). They told me it's ineffective for pushing... well excuse the outta me!

Or how as soon as my dd was born my dh and I began sobbing and they told us to be quiet because we would scare my dd (who, btw was completely calm).

: Like those stories?
and all that from hb midwives??? yikes!

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
valeria_vi is offline  
#46 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 05:43 PM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was loud with both my births the first one in the hospital I was the only one in labor that was unmediated I think the nurses did say something about scaring the other patients but it didn't register at the time. I did bury my face in the pillow a time or 2 tho just cause it was bothering me I was so loud : I did end up tho not being able to talk very well the next day very hoarse.

Second time was in a great birth center with mw and she only told me how to scream so that I wouldnt hurt my throat so bad. She kept reminding me lower instead of the high pitched scream. I still ended up having a sore throat but it wasnt as bad since most of the time I remembered to go lower. I found that reminding myself of doing that took my mind off the ctx a bit as well.

What ever makes you comfortable go for it.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
#47 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 07:40 PM
 
CryPixie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: drifting away...
Posts: 3,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by valeria_vi
and all that from hb midwives??? yikes!
Mmmhmm... I really looked up to them until my birth. They were super crunchy, had 6, 10 and 4(?) kids respectively and were so kind and well-educated.

Ahhh well, like I said, I'm totally happy to have been steered towards the UC path (what I wanted in the first place, but it took a lot to get dh to agree to a homebirth with midwives so...)
CryPixie83 is offline  
#48 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 10:22 PM
 
courtenay_e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In my own little piece of paradise
Posts: 8,164
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BookGoddess
THAT is horrible!! :

If that were me I would have 1) bitten the nurse's hand and probably called her some unladylike word; 2) bitten DH's hand and he would have been in the dog house for sooooooo long afterwards. My DH would never do that. He knows better!
You know? In my experience, I don't think it'd matter whether the rooms were soundproofed. I think that the determining factor is usually that the practitioners are simply not accustomed to and/or in agreement with (ie: too much work for them...) natural birth. It's the PRACTITIONERS that are bothered by the "noise" of natural childbirth. The other women in labor on the floor could usually care less!

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

courtenay_e is offline  
#49 of 56 Old 08-08-2006, 11:33 PM
CEG
 
CEG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: somewhere new
Posts: 669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I was in labor with my DS the nurse thought I wasn't really in labor and was quite rude to me- because I wasn't making any noise. My MW later told me that. My son was born an hour after the nurse's shift ended and I think she felt bad because she came to the postpartum unit to see us the next day. So she would have been a good nurse for some of you loud ladies
CEG is offline  
#50 of 56 Old 08-09-2006, 12:49 AM
 
CryPixie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: drifting away...
Posts: 3,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
It's the PRACTITIONERS that are bothered by the "noise" of natural childbirth. The other women in labor on the floor could usually care less!
Maybe they're afraid loud women would feel empowered, actually follow their instincts... that'd cut their intervention rate to shreds. Or maybe they're afraid loud women would upset the formula reps who like to hang around, or the visitors to the ward.
CryPixie83 is offline  
#51 of 56 Old 08-09-2006, 01:23 AM
 
valeria_vi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,745
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryPixie83
Mmmhmm... I really looked up to them until my birth. They were super crunchy, had 6, 10 and 4(?) kids respectively and were so kind and well-educated.
wow! this is ... I dunno ... I just don't know what to say. How then does one ever figure out what a midwife will really be like when you're in labor?

I participate in another discussion board and there's a lady there who I generally disagree with, but we do seem to agree on one thing. if your pregnancy is univentful, you will most likely not know your OB's/MWs real "face" until it's actually labor time.

seems to apply to you just right. unfortunately.

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
valeria_vi is offline  
#52 of 56 Old 08-09-2006, 01:48 AM
 
sophmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: with a brush in my hand
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow - I didn't know it was so common to be asked to be quiet. I do think someone told me during my 1st birth to focus my energy on my vagina and may have vaguely remembered being told that letting all the air out my mouth relaxed my diaphram muscle and made my pushing less effective - but I barely remember it. I vocalized anyways. A bit more embarrassingly than I had expected.

Is it because most women get epidurals and many get C/S's that doctor's aren't used to vocalizing? Is vocalizing only a part of natural childbirth? I know for a C/S it wouldn't be but don't they let the epidural wear off for the woman to push?
sophmama is offline  
#53 of 56 Old 08-09-2006, 01:48 AM
 
Max'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by valeria_vi
How then does one ever figure out what a midwife will really be like when you're in labor?
I agree that is why it's IMPERATIVE to get references from the midwives. I didn't but knew at least half a dozen women that had used the midwives I chose, so I felt comfortable picking mine!

Mama crochetsmilie.gifto Max blahblah.gif9, Neva hearts.gif 7, & Esme fairy.gif4 and Julius guitar.gif 2.

 
 
 

Max'sMama is offline  
#54 of 56 Old 08-09-2006, 05:58 AM
 
Kidzaplenty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Writing my Happily Ever After
Posts: 16,983
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Subbing. :

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
Kidzaplenty is offline  
#55 of 56 Old 08-09-2006, 05:08 PM
 
valeria_vi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,745
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max'sMama
I agree that is why it's IMPERATIVE to get references from the midwives. I didn't but knew at least half a dozen women that had used the midwives I chose, so I felt comfortable picking mine!
I didn't know anybody who had a hb. I had nobody's recommendations to go on. I just tried listening carefully to them during an interview and ask quiestions. same for the references.
one of the MWs stressed how much she loved being in close contact with the mom, guide her through relaxation and stuff. He reference told me that they were left alone with dh when they needed it, but I really wanted to be left alone as much as possible. I stated my reasons why right during the interview. but she was kinda fluid in her answer telling me how she felt the mom intuitively by being so close to her and stuff. So even though the reference should have eliminated my doubts, it didn't. this mw seemed absolutely great, but there were a couple things like this one that just didn't make me feel at ease.
i ended up picking someone else. she seemed to be more willing to be guided by me. in the end I never got to find out how my chosen mw would have been during the birth - it up being a surprise unassisted and I feel that it was the best thing that could have happened to me personally. something to think about for the next time. at least, I know for sure that if we decide to have a mw again, I will not compromise on my need to be left alone as much as possible.

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
valeria_vi is offline  
#56 of 56 Old 08-09-2006, 06:21 PM
 
mezzaluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 1,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my doula and i had talked a lot beforehand about using the voice and breath during labor. she had suggested to me that low-pitched vocalizations were more helpful than high-pitched ones... i'm not talking about volume here, just pitch. during labor she reminded me of this when my voice started getting away from me, and as i guided my voice back from shrieks to groans and roars, i could feel myself getting calmer and more under control. this was done in a very sympathetic way, though - she wasn't ordering me to do anything i wanted to do, just reminding me to help myself keep from panicking by changing my vocalization, not stopping it.

after i delivered, the OB was mashing my uterus and then stitching me up after extensive 2nd degree tearing (she was a very hands-on OB during delivery ) and i was really all out screaming for this. i was done having a baby, had felt that sweet relief from contractions and was very upset at finding myself in pain again and distracted from being with my baby. she had given me pit through an IV post-delivery to try to make my uterus clamp down (which wasn't the problem as it turns out)... so i was having contractions again for no reason. anyway, plenty to scream about... and the OB got upset at me for screaming and told me it didn't hurt that much... but to me it hurt a lot more than l&d, and i told her she should do what she needed to do, but i would do what i needed to do - scream! i was so hoarse after that!!

Rosemary & Gary :
James 12/04 & Cecelia 4/07
mezzaluna is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off