Not allowed to scream???!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My friend just told me that during her labor, the doctor and nurses pretty much told her to shut up and stay quiet.
Seriously, wtf is up with that? We were in the hospital at the same time. I had an opposite comment because I've always been a quiet person. One nurse said that I must not be in much pain because I wasn't screaming. Again...
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#2 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 05:57 PM
 
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I've gotten that before, in birth and non-birth contexts. "Don't scream, it increases tension." (I was moaning, BTW, not screaming. I just have a high voice.) And "Don't scream so loud, you're scaring the other patients." (Well, you're the one who left the door open so they could hear.)
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#3 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 06:35 PM
 
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I was told not to yell because I would use up all my energy, but guess what.....I yelled and yelled and yelled.

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#4 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 06:42 PM
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I yelled too... a lot!!! My friends said they could hear me from the elevator... My doctor never said that I couldn't or wasn't allowed to scream.
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#5 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 06:43 PM
 
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My neighbor's niece's doctor told her, "If you scream one more time, I'm leaving."

I'd have said good riddance.
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#6 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 06:47 PM
 
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I gave birth in an ABC hospital (alternative baby care), and I was encouraged to do what was right for me.
Strange, because when my eldest son was born, I didn't make a sound, but the second time I gave birth, I'm sure I waked up the entire hotel (ABC is in a hotel). I was very surprised that I yelled so much, I thought I'd have the same control the second time. But it felt really good to scream it all out, even though it was animal-like and - in a "normal" situation - an embarrassing thing to do.

Luckily, nothing's embarrassing as we have babies.

(Oh my... my English is rusty. You have no idea how long it took me to write this )
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#7 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 06:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ColoradoMama
My neighbor's niece's doctor told her, "If you scream one more time, I'm leaving."

I'd have said good riddance.
Nonsense, you would have been much more sensible and shouted "it's about d**ned time you talked sense!"

Karen-Ida,
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#8 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 08:42 PM
 
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I am not a screamer, I'm a whiner. one nurse came in and said to my mom "I dont see what she's crying about (I was literally sobbing at the time), her pain isnt even that bad" (5 min after 3 nurses that were shocked at my contractions that were off the monitor's charts) I mean pain IS subjective, is it not? I was furious, my mom is an evil woman and even she yelled at the nurse for that.

I mean please, 10th hour into pitocin induced contractions, no painkillers, dehydration, vag exams 5 times an hour, water broke (after I said dont you DARE do it), forced to lay on my back for back labour. uhm yeah, it wasnt too bad. *rolls eyes*
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#9 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 10:07 PM
 
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i was told to hold my breath and make no noise during pushing at the hospital.... at my homebirth i roared.... much more effective and pleasing....
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#10 of 56 Old 08-05-2006, 11:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen-Ida
I gave birth in an ABC hospital (alternative baby care), and I was encouraged to do what was right for me.
Strange, because when my eldest son was born, I didn't make a sound, but the second time I gave birth, I'm sure I waked up the entire hotel (ABC is in a hotel). I was very surprised that I yelled so much, I thought I'd have the same control the second time. But it felt really good to scream it all out, even though it was animal-like and - in a "normal" situation - an embarrassing thing to do.

Luckily, nothing's embarrassing as we have babies.

(Oh my... my English is rusty. You have no idea how long it took me to write this )
I agree with this completely (save the rusty English part )
I had my second at home and after a pit induced hospital birth with a 4th deg tear in which I was silent, I was sure that the whole neighborhood heard me moaning and screaming in labor w/ #2. I was as loud as a pack of wolves howling at the full moon! Apparently no one did, not even the two year old upstairs

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#11 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 12:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ColoradoMama
My neighbor's niece's doctor told her, "If you scream one more time, I'm leaving."

I'd have said good riddance.

Yup, me too! I gave birth in a birth center both times, and my first I went through a very difficult transition with my daughter being stuck for a period of time and you bet I screamed! I think that sometimes screaming can release tension and some mothers benefit from it, but overall I think it's better to moan and ride the wave of the ctrx. But I think it's very unprofessional to tell a laboring mother not to make noise. Birth is noisy. It's kind of sad though, when I went to see my friend at the hospital after she'd given birth, the whole L&D floor was quiet .

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#12 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 12:13 AM
 
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During my first birth, the sOB that caught (not MY OB!!) told me to "shut up", to "be quiet" and "no noise". Thankfully I didn't hear a word he said!

Namaste, Tara
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#13 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 03:48 AM
 
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I actually saw an episode of Baby Story a few years back where a nurse was actually putting her hand over mom's mouth, and telling her to be silent during pushing. The nurse then asked the husband to cover her mouth - and he oblidged. BTW, she certainly didn't even seem to be screaming, just loud moaning, not that it would have mattered anyway, I don't care if the entire floor could hear.

Watching that made me cry for the woman for the what I considered assult by her so called medical providers. It's sick.
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#14 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 05:23 AM
 
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I actually saw an episode of Baby Story a few years back where a nurse was actually putting her hand over mom's mouth, and telling her to be silent during pushing.
I'd have bit the living hell out of her hand!

Then again, were I told not to scream, I'd have let out a few Earth-shattering ones, just because.

I did not scream, but I moaned and hollered pretty loud while pushing with Esther, & looking back I feel kind of bad about it, because the older two were there and I scared them. Of course, if I'd had my wits about me enough to squat and push instead of staying in the lithomy position like they wanted, I doubt I'd have been in as much pain (I was seriously too out of it by then to move, though).

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#15 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 05:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by watermamma
I actually saw an episode of Baby Story a few years back where a nurse was actually putting her hand over mom's mouth, and telling her to be silent during pushing. The nurse then asked the husband to cover her mouth - and he oblidged. BTW, she certainly didn't even seem to be screaming, just loud moaning, not that it would have mattered anyway, I don't care if the entire floor could hear.

Watching that made me cry for the woman for the what I considered assult by her so called medical providers. It's sick.
THAT is horrible!! :

If that were me I would have 1) bitten the nurse's hand and probably called her some unladylike word; 2) bitten DH's hand and he would have been in the dog house for sooooooo long afterwards. My DH would never do that. He knows better!

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#16 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 07:37 AM
 
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I would've bitten her hand and *tried* to sever a tendon. And then I would've gotten *louder* on purpose. My dh would never be stupid enough to obey that sort of order, which is good because I'd feel badly about biting him.

You know, reading through this thread, maybe there'd be better outcomes overall at hospitals if they just soundproofed the rooms? I'm sure there'd still be some idiotic practices going on, but that would at least cut down on stupidity from people trying to make women be quiet.

What really gets my gourd is stories where *midwives* are telling their clients not to be so noisy.
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#17 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 09:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
You know, reading through this thread, maybe there'd be better outcomes overall at hospitals if they just soundproofed the rooms? I'm sure there'd still be some idiotic practices going on, but that would at least cut down on stupidity from people trying to make women be quiet.
The hospital where I had dd was crappy in a LOT of ways, but all of their L&D rooms ARE sound-proofed. I thought it was standard, which is why I was so surprised by this thread!

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#18 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 10:22 AM
 
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Yeah they did that to me with my first baby. That and a ton of other bad things that happened at the hospital made me say NO WAY to another hospital birth. I was able to scream my head off at home and that was really helpful for me. That's just how I need to deal with the pain. LOL its funny the nurses think screaming makes the pain worse. It makes me feel better! Women should just be allowed to do whatever they feel is necessary.
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#19 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 11:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
What really gets my gourd is stories where *midwives* are telling their clients not to be so noisy.
Ya mean like how my midwives chastised me for yelling (roaring? ) while they "forced" me into squatting ( I *hate* squatting, it's painful for me). They told me it's ineffective for pushing... well excuse the outta me!

Or how as soon as my dd was born my dh and I began sobbing and they told us to be quiet because we would scare my dd (who, btw was completely calm).

: Like those stories?
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#20 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 11:57 AM
 
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My husband actually asked our neighbors if they heard me...I was sooo loud. No one did though It was very primal and felt amazing!
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#21 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 11:58 AM
 
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Sarah- we lived in a triplex with thin walls, both neighbors were home, no one heard me either
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#22 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 12:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CryPixie83
Ya mean like how my midwives chastised me for yelling (roaring? ) while they "forced" me into squatting ( I *hate* squatting, it's painful for me). They told me it's ineffective for pushing... well excuse the outta me!

Or how as soon as my dd was born my dh and I began sobbing and they told us to be quiet because we would scare my dd (who, btw was completely calm).

: Like those stories?
Yep, those are the ones.: And the ones that make it so I can't read books like "The Birth Partner" because the whole "take charge routine" makes me want to slap people.

There's a long long list of stuff I'm not going to let myself read after the first trimester when I finally get pregnant.
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#23 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 12:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by angelpie545
But I think it's very unprofessional to tell a laboring mother not to make noise. Birth is noisy. It's kind of sad though, when I went to see my friend at the hospital after she'd given birth, the whole L&D floor was quiet .
Bethany,

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#24 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 01:24 PM
 
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The thing I see on a Baby Story all the time is doctors saying things like, "No noise. When you scream you lose all your power to push."

Uhhhh...right.
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#25 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 01:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MsElle07
The thing I see on a Baby Story all the time is doctors saying things like, "No noise. When you scream you lose all your power to push."

Uhhhh...right.
That's pretty much what my midwives were telling me. Reason #4572 why I'm going UC this time
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#26 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 02:15 PM
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Originally Posted by MsElle07
The thing I see on a Baby Story all the time is doctors saying things like, "No noise. When you scream you lose all your power to push."

Uhhhh...right.
You can tell that Dr never studied Martial Arts.

The Martial arts instructors ALWAYS encourage a Loud yell before an attack to a: set your opponent off balance and B: FOCUS YOUR POWER.

I know, not a very "Peaceful" way of looking at it but the theory is sound.

The Battle Yell helps focus the warrior, We are warriors in a different arena. that's all.

Of course, the other purpose of the battle yell is to unsettle your oponent. Dr is the oponent so mabe he doesn't like feeling "unsettled" *giggle*
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#27 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 02:57 PM
 
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Of course, the other purpose of the battle yell is to unsettle your oponent. Dr is the oponent so mabe he doesn't like feeling "unsettled" *giggle*
:
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#28 of 56 Old 08-06-2006, 04:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Pandora114
You can tell that Dr never studied Martial Arts.

The Martial arts instructors ALWAYS encourage a Loud yell before an attack to a: set your opponent off balance and B: FOCUS YOUR POWER.

I know, not a very "Peaceful" way of looking at it but the theory is sound.

The Battle Yell helps focus the warrior, We are warriors in a different arena. that's all.

Of course, the other purpose of the battle yell is to unsettle your oponent. Dr is the oponent so mabe he doesn't like feeling "unsettled" *giggle*
I'd totally forgotten that I was remembering my karate and self-defense training while I yelled during labor. I remembered I thought the nurse was crazy for trying to quiet me but I didn't remember what exactly had been going through my head-- that was it. I was thinking "Has she never at least seen a kung fu movie?"
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#29 of 56 Old 08-07-2006, 10:49 AM
 
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Wtith DD#1, the nurse actually told me if I was moaning I wasn't breathing right.

Next push I mooaned again. It was so totally invonlentary cause then I was a "be a good patient do what they tell you type person.."

As soon as I did, the OB said, You can make more noise then that if you have to. Make all the noise you want. Then DD tore me and I screamed. LOL! I am sure the nurse LOVED that.

I miss that OB.
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#30 of 56 Old 08-07-2006, 01:09 PM
 
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IMO anything they try to tell you along the lines of noise not being good for you - tenses you, un-focuses your power, not breathing right, blah blah blah - is just stuff they make up to manipulate you into doing what makes them comfortable.

In an excruciating posterior labor I was told to scream at a lower pitch because this was somehow better vibrations or something. Whatever. I tried it, but I found it kind of degrading to be trying to filter my natural reactions to fit others' expectations while I was in excruciating pain.
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