"Redecorated" vagina after birth? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 08-24-2006, 07:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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When I had Whilder I ripped really really bad in 3 places, one of which was looking like it might be a 3rd degree tear. Aganst the advice and STRONG urging of my midwives, I had decided not to get stitches, as I was exausted and just wanted to be left alone. Well it's now 3 months later and everything has healed up wonderfully on it's own. However, it looks like I am left with a labia that has split into 2 parts, which I find kind of odd looking. Dh doesn't mind at all, infact he doesn't even seem to notice, and I guess I shouldn't care since he is the only one who sees it :. But I can't help feeling weird about it because it's not the same anymore and it wont ever be agian KNWIM? I know that's kind of dumb because there are a lot of things that are never the same again after having a baby, but since this is aesthetic I guess I'm more aware of it.

I am really curious as to weather this is common. I'm guessing if I had opted to have the stitches they would have sewn it back together, and that's probably the norm for most women that rip through the labia. It's not painful or problimatic in any way right now, but I'm wondering if I ever have another baby,if it may cause another, more severe rip.

Does anyone else want to share how their vagina got "redecorated" after they gave birth, and any problems it caused them?
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#2 of 25 Old 08-24-2006, 11:09 AM
 
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My labia is not attached in one place from a very minor tear with DS1. Interestingly, my mother has the exact same thing from when I was born. I have had zero problems with it and barely think of it ever.

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#3 of 25 Old 08-24-2006, 07:33 PM
 
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redecorated huh? that's a nice way to put it!

I'm a modifiedartist.gif DH is a reading.gif we have 2 angel.gifs, and DS is a rainbow1284.gif baby.gif
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#4 of 25 Old 08-24-2006, 11:20 PM
 
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heehee
I had horrible tearing, way worse than I originally realized...all the way up through my clit (YOW!), very deep, tons of internal tearing, and all the way back to my anus (but not INTO it, YAY!)...i did not get stitches, and it took about 10 months to fully heal, and now it is completely...uumm...redecorated. LOL
I haven't had any problems with it....actually, I'm thinking it might be useful, since the whiole area is ..uummm...bigger than before, maybe i won't tear so much with the next baby?

CPST
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#5 of 25 Old 08-26-2006, 01:27 AM
 
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The OB stitched my inner lip TO MY outer lip on one side. Essentially, one side is the same it always was, and the other side now has an extra centimeter or so at the rear where the two lips remain attached before separating.

I was pissed beyond belief when I discovered it 2wks post partum. I immediately saw a different doc who told me that it might fix itself with subsequent deliveries, but if it doesn't, when I'm done having children I can get it surgically repaired. My midwife said that, "No one looks the same down there afterward. Not me, not anyone." and that I should let it go.

DH doesn't even notice and I rarely think about it (16 months later).
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#6 of 25 Old 08-26-2006, 01:44 AM
 
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My "frills" are definitely not the same as they were pre-baby. With each birth I found the rearrangement a little unsettling for a while. At first I noticed it every day in the shower, when wiping after going to the bathroom, etc. But now, 14 months after baby #2, I don't notice it any more and go months without even thinking about it. It's the new normal.

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#7 of 25 Old 08-26-2006, 09:57 AM
 
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I think my labia, esp. the inner ones, are a little bigger and frillier, but it causes no problems. If you wanted, you could get your torn labia sewn up, I imagine it would be like repairing an earlobe piercing that had torn through.

There are women out there who are having labia surgery to make their labia look adolescent again. That is so gross, and why remove some erogenous tissue unless it is rubbing uncomfortably. But google "labiaplasty" if you want to know.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#8 of 25 Old 08-26-2006, 01:21 PM
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Wow, so everything really does look different after giving birth? This will be my first vaginal delivery and I have no idea what kind of "redecoration" I should expect.
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#9 of 25 Old 08-26-2006, 06:15 PM
 
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With DS#1 I had a very text book medical birth. Epi at 4cm, flat on my back, cathiter, vacuumn delivery, 2nd degree tear back, 1st degree labia tear. The doctor stitcked me up, and then some, Yay! I had a very hard recovery, couldn't sit right for 4 months. The first time we had intercourse I think it tore that extra stitch (thank goodness) and I was good after that.

With DS#2 I had a natural birth at a free standing birth center. I had a couple of small tears, but the midwife called them skid marks, I got a couple of stitches. A week into my post birth I felt better than I did at 2 months post pardum with #1.

So don't be scared that with #2 you will tear as much or more, you never know. And chances are you will tear less since your body has been there done that.

I don't notice anything that feels different down there, DH doesn't either. I'm sure I look different but I never really looked before, and I could care less. I mean it all works.
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#10 of 25 Old 08-26-2006, 07:44 PM
 
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Well mine is totally different after my babies and I didn't tear at all. I was horrified when I eventually got a mirror and took a look down there after my first. The midwives had said I didn't tear at all but it was so damn different!

Anyway I've accepted the fact that having babies changed my Yoni forever and my breasts will never be firm and perky again - but hey, I have 3 beautiful children

Laura

mom to 3 home-born children, wife to a great guy joy.gif

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#11 of 25 Old 08-27-2006, 07:37 PM
 
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Wow so it's just not me that looks different down there... My labia is much longer and fuller than it ever was before. It bothers me quite a bit but not dh, which is good. I have considered a "reconstruction" of sorts after I'm done having kids, because I'm only 24, and I will probalby have only one other baby before I'm done, if my health permits it. The other side of me says that I should accept my body for what it is, and learn to be comfortable with it. That side is winning.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#12 of 25 Old 08-27-2006, 08:26 PM
 
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I always tell women to think of a vaginal delivery as the *ultimate* loss of virginity. Things do look different, and I make sure to tell them ahead of time to expect this. I wish all care providers did. It would have saved me quite a lot of heartache after my first was born.
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#13 of 25 Old 08-27-2006, 11:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midwifetx
I always tell women to think of a vaginal delivery as the *ultimate* loss of virginity. Things do look different, and I make sure to tell them ahead of time to expect this. I wish all care providers did. It would have saved me quite a lot of heartache after my first was born.
I completely agree with this. Never a word was mentioned about it to me by either of my midwives. It is as if there are some things we just don't talk about.
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#14 of 25 Old 08-27-2006, 11:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel
Wow, so everything really does look different after giving birth? This will be my first vaginal delivery and I have no idea what kind of "redecoration" I should expect.
I remember being suprised when I was reading an obstetrical textbook, showing labial before/after color sketches, highlighting the tissue changes that can occur because of pregnancy, such as getting darker and longer.

As for my "redecoration" (excellent term!) I was victim to a needless silly episiotomy with my first birth, and an extra stitch aka Happy Husband Stitch was added FREE during my repair! That little sewing project caused AGONY for me....couldn't bring myself to inset a tampon without crying at 13 months pp. Intimate activities were not as fun as before, because I was stitched too tight (and no, hubby actually was NOT happy! neither was I. : )

Then during my second child's birth, I tore. I was hoping hoping hoping to not tear, I had a very long crowning stage to prevent a tear, and I tore.

AND it was the best thing ever!! because that tear corrected the nonsense that my sOB had done two years earlier. I did not have stitches; I kept my legs together for the first few days post-partum, it healed beautifully.

No, things are not the same. I have a fine white scar from the episiotomy repair, and a slightly asymetrical look to the skin around that episiotomy scar area. I did cry about both injuries; I mourned the loss and changes that happened to my body.

I encourage all women to get out that hand-held mirror (heck! get our your digital cameras, whoo hoo!!!!!) and look, look, look......and get familiar with the anatomy, the scar, the anatomy if you're pregnant with your first, whatever....because that makes accepting the changes a little less scary and upsetting, I think. Go ahead and cry, pout, bitch, whine.....it's okay to do so.
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#15 of 25 Old 08-28-2006, 02:22 AM
 
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I have a friend who has that.
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#16 of 25 Old 08-28-2006, 02:38 AM
 
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I have a hole in one side of my labia that I can almost get my finger through.. thats a little strange.. I also have a thin white scar running down one side and one side of my clitoris hood is no longer connected to where it should be.. so yes I've been a little redecorated. I also have the usual differences, just a much wider opening (not the muscular tissue but just the surrounding skin) and uneven skin when some is scarred and some not.
I had a couple of second degree tears but they were both left unstitched and healed within 10 days.
I had some problems with urinary incontinence for about 12 weeks pp but now everything pretty much works as it did before. I still feel a little sad about the changes though 2 years on but I certainly wouldn't swap my gorgeous dd for my pre pregnancy body
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#17 of 25 Old 08-28-2006, 02:56 AM
 
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After my dd I noticed that I could actually see my utethral opening something I could not see at all before. I tore there when she was born I also had a episiotomy with her to my anus, thanks to the ob : I also noticed that I had a piece of skin sort of just hanging inside my vagina a little inside the opening.

After ds who i had at a birth center w/ mw I had a very small skid mark on my labia near my utethra so when I peed it burned like : that took about a week & half to heal. My vagina is way more open after him as well. But it dosnt cause me any trouble other than I am more apt to "vart" than I used to be

 
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#18 of 25 Old 08-28-2006, 02:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Galatea
I think my labia, esp. the inner ones, are a little bigger and frillier.
you can say that again
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#19 of 25 Old 08-28-2006, 03:56 PM
 
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Wow, so everything really does look different after giving birth?
Not necessarily enough to make a perceivable difference. I didn't have an episiotomy or tearing, and I really haven't noticed any difference. Anyway, you can minimize the redecoration (love that term! ) to at least what is natural, by keeping people's hands (and knives) away from your vagina during birth, and pushing instinctively.
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#20 of 25 Old 08-28-2006, 06:40 PM
 
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Keep away from the frills. Always excellent advice

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#21 of 25 Old 08-29-2006, 10:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
Not necessarily enough to make a perceivable difference. I didn't have an episiotomy or tearing, and I really haven't noticed any difference. Anyway, you can minimize the redecoration (love that term! ) to at least what is natural, by keeping people's hands (and knives) away from your vagina during birth, and pushing instinctively.
oh you know I'm not bein' snarky, just doin' my bit for The Cause: an episiotomy is a surgical cut performed with scissors. Horrors.

The way to make an episiotomy worse would be for the operator to use blunt, less-sharp scissors, that would crush the tissue while cutting it. How sharp do you think those scissors stay, use after use? :
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#22 of 25 Old 08-29-2006, 11:48 PM
 
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My perenium tore with my 2nd baby 3 months ago. I decided to let it heal naturally, but I noticed about a month ago that it healed, but not together so I have this flappy opening. Im still in the trying to get over it phase, it really bothers me. I wonder if you have a greater risk of infection? anyone else with torn pereniums? It seems like most people had torn labias. I definitely dont want labiaplasty, so Im meditating on it everyday to try to heal with my mind!
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#23 of 25 Old 08-30-2006, 10:11 AM
 
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How sharp do you think those scissors stay, use after use?
The hospitals around here do not re-use instruments and throw out bucketloads of them daily.

Everything is one use. The scissors I have in my bag for episiotomy have only been used once (in 349 births as primary or assistant) and are VERY sharp. I don't sterilize them with the other instruments, they have their own pouch so that they don't have to be resterilized as often and so that they maintain their edge.

Quote:
anyone else with torn pereniums?
Yep, I popped my stitches after my fourth baby (I've never had an episiotomy, myself, but I tore with 3 of my births) was born and healed 'open' I wish it bothered me less. I am still considering getting a midwife friend to fix it up for me...the thought of that sore bottom without a baby to show for it, though, keeps me from doing it.
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#24 of 25 Old 08-30-2006, 10:24 AM
 
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Add me to the redecorated group. A tear in my inner labia went unnoticed w/ DD's birth until I asked the MW for a second look a few days later. She came by, and sure enough, there was a split. It hadn't been noticed before because in 'normal' positioning it folded back onto itself.

The only reason I noticed was because it burned like crazy when I had to rinse it. By the time I had it looked at, it was too late to stitch it up. I could go and get it repaired I suppose, but now, almost 2yrs later I hardly think of it. It's just another way I'm different (well, reading these posts I don't feel so alone ).
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#25 of 25 Old 08-30-2006, 10:28 AM
 
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Wow, I just learned an awesome word, vart. I always needed that one. I do it too, Melissa.

"With the thoughts I'd be thinkin', I could be another Lincoln,

If I only had a brain."duh.gif

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