Birthing at hospital - can they force you to send baby to nursery? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 54 Old 09-26-2006, 12:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
milliegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: The beautiful state of Maine
Posts: 88
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am almost 33 weeks pregnant and have been high-risk/on bedrest since 14 weeks. Although my first choice was to go to a small, birth-friendly hospital about an hour away, under the care of a CNM, I have been stuck at the large, teaching hospital close by because of my situation (preventive cerclage/bedrest/monitoring by peri/care by OB). I am very unhappy about having to deliver there as their birth practices are way out of alignment w/ mine. However, I have a doula and she feels confident that I CAN have the birth I want (basically unmedicated w/ as little interference from the hospital staff as possible) if I educate myself and stick to my guns.

The bigger issue looks like it will be postpartum. I just got home from 10 weeks of hospital bedrest a couple of weeks ago and was on the postpartum unit the whole time. While the nurses were very nice and took good care of me, it became SO apparent that their philosophies/protocols re: neonatal care are very old school. They talked about the "need" to take the babies to the nursery for monitoring every so often; looked at me like I had 3 heads when I talked about not bathing the baby (just wiping her down to rub in the vernix); etc. Before I went there I was very adamant about having baby room in and not be separated from me/DH, but now I am UNWAVERING.

Reading another post here though, it sounded like some mamas had their babies forcibly taken from them and brought to the nursery. CAN THEY DO THIS? What if I just flat-out refuse? Can they call CPS? I know they will give me a hard time about doing the post-birth stuff in the room (they say "all of the equipment is in the nursery" so you HAVE to go there), but if this is the case I or someone else (DH, mom, etc) will go and hold the baby/supervise while they do it.

Oh, and this hospital still has some shared PP rooms. So if they are full-up, I may have to share a room. This sounds like a nightmare because we want peace/quiet and no visitors so we can bond w/ DD.

Anyhow, to be honest this stuff is stressing me out more than L&D at this point. Just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom to share.

Thanks for any feedback.

Lynn

32 w 5 d
DD due 11/16/06

3 Angels:

Aidan (12 w) 11/03
Brendan (b/d 23 w) 8/04 IC
Littlest Angel (10w) 9/05

: Wife, and grateful mama to DD : (b. 11/17/2006), DS (b/d 8/3/2004) and 2 sweet s
milliegirl is offline  
#2 of 54 Old 09-26-2006, 01:11 PM
 
mysticmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 6,183
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm no help, but can you clarify for me something? I'm assuming there is some sort of PTL going on, but if you get to 37 weeks, is there a reason you couldn't go to the other hospital?

hh2.gif

mysticmomma is offline  
#3 of 54 Old 09-26-2006, 01:12 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No. They can't do anything you refuse. It's your child- period.

Now, that doesn't mean that they won't try everything in the book to "make" you. But if you're willing to stand up to them and have some back up (dh, other family members etc) you should be able to keep your baby with you.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
#4 of 54 Old 09-26-2006, 01:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
milliegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: The beautiful state of Maine
Posts: 88
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mysticmomma: I am "cervically challenged" (like this term better than IC) and had a preventive cerclage at 14 weeks. I had some funneling/shortening (and a super-conservative OB) which landed me in the hospital on bedrest. I'm still on bedrest at home until my stitch comes out at 36 weeks. At that point I become a "normal" pregnant woman again, so my doula suggested the same thing (going to another hospital).

Couple of issues: I don't know how I would find a midwife or OB that would be willing to take me at such a late gestation. I also have a lot of trust issues w/ healthcare providers because of my losses and I'm not sure I could build up enough of a relationship to feel totally comfortable w/ them before the birth. I hate to sound like a victim, but I also am having some issues trusting my body and my baby after so much medical intervention and some really devestating losses (w/ major complications). Intellectually, I believe my body is capable and know this baby is OK, but am struggling still. I know that I do have this choice, but it doesn't seem any less scary to me at this point and DH isn't supportive of it either. I do appreciate the suggestion tho'.

: Wife, and grateful mama to DD : (b. 11/17/2006), DS (b/d 8/3/2004) and 2 sweet s
milliegirl is offline  
#5 of 54 Old 09-26-2006, 01:35 PM
 
courtenay_e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In my own little piece of paradise
Posts: 8,164
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Well...what's the prognosis? Do they expect the baby to go to term? I'd say, at 36 weeks, if you make it that far, to switch back to your original provider. I'd dialogue with that provider right now, to be sure that they'll accept you back so "late" in the game.

If that's not possible...no, they have no right to take your child from you without your permission. However, you may have to modify the consent form that you sign upon admission to say (and initial the changes before you sign it...) that you DO NOT give them blanket permission to do any and all procedures that they feel necessary.

If the baby is not ill, is born at term, and does not need to be recusitated, there is no reason that they can't do any and all exams with the baby on your chest. In fact, that is the best and safest place for a normal healthy baby to be examined. Explain to them that you don't want the cord cut until the placenta is DELIVERED, which will put the baby on a tether of sorts for at least that long (and make sure your doula is VIGILANT that they not put traction on the cord to speed the process up...), and keep her on your chest. Your baby does not need any more than a warm wash cloth to get any blood or meconium off of him, so a "bath" in the nursery is completely unnecessary.

I suppose they COULD threaten to, or even actually CALL CPS. That said, the preponderance of evidence is on your side that keeping the baby with you is best for both you and the baby, barring special needs on the baby's part (ie: NICU type care...), and even then, skin to skin contact on a stable baby is best for the NICU babies needs...and taking the baby from a mother without her permission would otherwise constitute kidnapping, and I'd fight that with every ounce of my (and my bank account's) ability. And having a doula with you will really help you to keep your voice heard.

You don't need to be cranky, or loud, or even mean. Just be a broken record. "No, you will be keeping my baby on my chest until she has had a good long nursing session. I'm sorry if you need the room. Your choices are to move me on this bed the way I am, to the post partum room, or wait until the baby has finished nursing, at which time his father can hold him covered with a warm blanket, skin to skin, while you clean me up." "No, you will not be taking the baby to the nursery. Any tests that need to be run can be run with the baby skin to skin with it's mother/father, right here." "No, again, you will not be taking the baby to bathe it. You may keep the baby covered, against me, and do a top to tail with a warm wash cloth to get any meconium and blood off of her. Otherwise, the vernix is fine." "Thank you for all of your help and concern, but the baby will be staying with me." "It's too bad that this doesn't follow 'hospital protocol', but the best place for the baby post partum is on it's mother's chest"

Do you notice that NOWHERE in that group of quotes does it ask ANYBODY if it's OKAY for YOU to keep YOUR baby with YOU? That's because you're paying their paychecks. It's their job to make YOU happy, not the other way around! Be firm, kind, and oh, did I mention FIRM?

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

courtenay_e is offline  
#6 of 54 Old 09-26-2006, 02:06 PM
 
mary3mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Middle Indiana
Posts: 2,269
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I had DS#2 in the hospital, he was my VBAC baby, he never ever went anywhere without me or dh. And my hospital wasn't the most mama-baby friendly. Routine interventions and such were, well, routine.

I merely stated that everything needed to be done on my chest/belly until he nursed and then they could only move him to the warmer next to my bed for a few minutes.

When they 'had' to take him to the nursery for a full going-over, my dh went along and would not let them tell him that he had to stay outside the room and watch. There was never even a second when he wasn't touching his son. He knew that I didn't want them to bathe him and that he should pester the hell out of the nurses to get the baby back to me ASAP.

From that point out, he was never out of my sight, or arms (well, unless he was in DH's arms) and then we got the heck out of there at 24 hours postpartum...

Yeah, it makes the nurses jobs a little harder when they have to bring everything to your room for neo-natal stuff -- but it's not your job to make their job easier. It's your job to advocate for and protect your new nursling...

Maryhippie.gif

mary3mama is offline  
#7 of 54 Old 09-26-2006, 03:42 PM
 
gentlebirthmothr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,373
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lynn,

with whats going on with you. Don't have anything else to contribute to you situation because I haven't been pregnant or had a baby or thinking of having one at this time of time of life. The hospital by me, I also I'm clerical volunteer in their maternity department is somewhat that hospital you are in and might give birth in as well. When the babies are 1st born and after that they incourage bonding with it when its 1st born after they do whatever they do to them when they come out, so on, rooming in after they been observe for a few hrs expect when the mother requests not or medical problem with one of them or on womens health or whatever else you can think of with this situation. They still do have semi private rooms. This still really hurts me when I see still this been done and also for the moms and babies sake. The moms let it happen there and mostly likely all the other moms in the area or country or world just let it happen as well. Don't let them bring your baby to the warming table after you give birth it or when they bring it to the nursery to observe, warm, do stuff to it, and don't let them do the PKU (forgot what it stands for) in the hospital or vitk or eye groop, spl or hearing test or other stuff that I forgot here. Basically, the warming table is pretty much for NICU purposes, but somehow it ended in well born part of it and also I read that its pretty much like the fast food chains french fry cookers. Don't let them do the test for jaudice and also if it needs light theraphy, don't let them do photo theraphy, but do sun light theraphy or let put them put it in the warming bassinet if they feel it needs it. Really, don't know that much about NICU, but make sure to tell them you want to see it before they take to NICU if not, you want to see it at the 1st chance that you or dh get to see them, no matter what.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
No. They can't do anything you refuse. It's your child- period.

Now, that doesn't mean that they won't try everything in the book to "make" you. But if you're willing to stand up to them and have some back up (dh, other family members etc) you should be able to keep your baby with you.

-Angela
Quote:
Originally Posted by milliegirl View Post
mysticmomma: I am "cervically challenged" (like this term better than IC) and had a preventive cerclage at 14 weeks. I had some funneling/shortening (and a super-conservative OB) which landed me in the hospital on bedrest. I'm still on bedrest at home until my stitch comes out at 36 weeks. At that point I become a "normal" pregnant woman again, so my doula suggested the same thing (going to another hospital).

Couple of issues: I don't know how I would find a midwife or OB that would be willing to take me at such a late gestation. I also have a lot of trust issues w/ healthcare providers because of my losses and I'm not sure I could build up enough of a relationship to feel totally comfortable w/ them before the birth. I hate to sound like a victim, but I also am having some issues trusting my body and my baby after so much medical intervention and some really devestating losses (w/ major complications). Intellectually, I believe my body is capable and know this baby is OK, but am struggling still. I know that I do have this choice, but it doesn't seem any less scary to me at this point and DH isn't supportive of it either. I do appreciate the suggestion tho'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by courtenay_e View Post
Well...what's the prognosis? Do they expect the baby to go to term? I'd say, at 36 weeks, if you make it that far, to switch back to your original provider. I'd dialogue with that provider right now, to be sure that they'll accept you back so "late" in the game.

If that's not possible...no, they have no right to take your child from you without your permission. However, you may have to modify the consent form that you sign upon admission to say (and initial the changes before you sign it...) that you DO NOT give them blanket permission to do any and all procedures that they feel necessary.

If the baby is not ill, is born at term, and does not need to be recusitated, there is no reason that they can't do any and all exams with the baby on your chest. In fact, that is the best and safest place for a normal healthy baby to be examined. Explain to them that you don't want the cord cut until the placenta is DELIVERED, which will put the baby on a tether of sorts for at least that long (and make sure your doula is VIGILANT that they not put traction on the cord to speed the process up...), and keep her on your chest. Your baby does not need any more than a warm wash cloth to get any blood or meconium off of him, so a "bath" in the nursery is completely unnecessary.

I suppose they COULD threaten to, or even actually CALL CPS. That said, the preponderance of evidence is on your side that keeping the baby with you is best for both you and the baby, barring special needs on the baby's part (ie: NICU type care...), and even then, skin to skin contact on a stable baby is best for the NICU babies needs...and taking the baby from a mother without her permission would otherwise constitute kidnapping, and I'd fight that with every ounce of my (and my bank account's) ability. And having a doula with you will really help you to keep your voice heard.

You don't need to be cranky, or loud, or even mean. Just be a broken record. "No, you will be keeping my baby on my chest until she has had a good long nursing session. I'm sorry if you need the room. Your choices are to move me on this bed the way I am, to the post partum room, or wait until the baby has finished nursing, at which time his father can hold him covered with a warm blanket, skin to skin, while you clean me up." "No, you will not be taking the baby to the nursery. Any tests that need to be run can be run with the baby skin to skin with it's mother/father, right here." "No, again, you will not be taking the baby to bathe it. You may keep the baby covered, against me, and do a top to tail with a warm wash cloth to get any meconium and blood off of her. Otherwise, the vernix is fine." "Thank you for all of your help and concern, but the baby will be staying with me." "It's too bad that this doesn't follow 'hospital protocol', but the best place for the baby post partum is on it's mother's chest"

Do you notice that NOWHERE in that group of quotes does it ask ANYBODY if it's OKAY for YOU to keep YOUR baby with YOU? That's because you're paying their paychecks. It's their job to make YOU happy, not the other way around! Be firm, kind, and oh, did I mention FIRM?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mary3mama View Post
When I had DS#2 in the hospital, he was my VBAC baby, he never ever went anywhere without me or dh. And my hospital wasn't the most mama-baby friendly. Routine interventions and such were, well, routine.

I merely stated that everything needed to be done on my chest/belly until he nursed and then they could only move him to the warmer next to my bed for a few minutes.

When they 'had' to take him to the nursery for a full going-over, my dh went along and would not let them tell him that he had to stay outside the room and watch. There was never even a second when he wasn't touching his son. He knew that I didn't want them to bathe him and that he should pester the hell out of the nurses to get the baby back to me ASAP.

From that point out, he was never out of my sight, or arms (well, unless he was in DH's arms) and then we got the heck out of there at 24 hours postpartum...

Yeah, it makes the nurses jobs a little harder when they have to bring everything to your room for neo-natal stuff -- but it's not your job to make their job easier. It's your job to advocate for and protect your new nursling...
, to what Angela, milliegirl, courtenay_e, and Mary said to you on this issue.

Good luck with it.
gentlebirthmothr is offline  
#8 of 54 Old 09-27-2006, 03:15 AM
 
mwherbs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 5,575
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
where I live one of the hospitals threaten women all the time with taking the baby away-- should this happen -- no but it does and most families cave in and do what they say because they don't really want to risk loosing their baby.

now if there was some life threatening situation they could easily not only threaten but get a court order against you- although parental rights in this country are somewhat respected there are social concerns of child welfare that also come into play-- I have one old client who had her parental rights stripped because she refused a surgery that she felt could be delayed but they disagreed and they won out and not only that took her other children too and she had to "earn" them back
mwherbs is offline  
#9 of 54 Old 09-27-2006, 07:10 AM
 
MsElle07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,529
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't believe they can forcibly take a baby out of your hands. But they can make your life really hard. For example, they took my baby while I was sleeping. When I went to get him back, they were feeding him a bottle of formula, despite my oral and written wishes otherwise. I brought him back to my room and was told that I was not allowed to turn off the lights when the baby was in the room because the nurses needed to see. I did it anyway, they would come back in and turn them on. They made it impossible for me to sleep well.

Definitely try to find another care provider if you make it to 36 weeks -- many MWs will take you late in the game if you explain the situation.
MsElle07 is offline  
#10 of 54 Old 09-27-2006, 10:58 AM
 
mezzaluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 1,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
your DH will be with you for the birth and will be able to stay afterwards? that i think will make a big difference!

in our birth plan we put a number of specific requests, but at the top in bold in a box we wrote the two most important things - that we were trying for a natural birth, and that we wanted one of us with our baby at all times. so that was already on the table.

when DS came out, DH got to hold him and put him on my chest. we asked for DH to cut the cord, so DS was attached to me for a while, and i got to nurse him. then i had some complications from the delivery and things were getting tense...and DH went off to the nursery with DS, but stayed with him. at our request, DS wasn't bathed until much later in the day. and the bathing happened in our recovery room, as did all the other procedures other than the hearing test. they actually wanted us to stay away from the nursery because it was very full and the nurses were quite busy. they were happy to let us rest alone in our recovery room, except for randomly coming in in the middle of the night to bother us

i found it hard to advocate for myself during labor and just afterwards when things suddenly went crazy... i was too inwardly focused on just coping with my labor and then trying to enduring the interventions that happened afterwards. i'm glad we put things in writing in the birth plan, that we'd talked over our birth plan in detail with all the OBs in our practice, and that I had my DH and doula there with me to advocate so that i could concentrate on labor.

it's fortunate in a way that you've gotten acquainted with this hospital, so you know what to expect from them... you'll be much more ready to advocate for what you are going to do that you would have been if this blindsided you...

good luck mama!

Rosemary & Gary :
James 12/04 & Cecelia 4/07
mezzaluna is offline  
#11 of 54 Old 09-27-2006, 01:31 PM
 
gentlebirthmothr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,373
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mwherbs View Post
where I live one of the hospitals threaten women all the time with taking the baby away-- should this happen -- no but it does and most families cave in and do what they say because they don't really want to risk loosing their baby.

now if there was some life threatening situation they could easily not only threaten but get a court order against you- although parental rights in this country are somewhat respected there are social concerns of child welfare that also come into play-- I have one old client who had her parental rights stripped because she refused a surgery that she felt could be delayed but they disagreed and they won out and not only that took her other children too and she had to "earn" them back
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsElle07 View Post
I don't believe they can forcibly take a baby out of your hands. But they can make your life really hard. For example, they took my baby while I was sleeping. When I went to get him back, they were feeding him a bottle of formula, despite my oral and written wishes otherwise. I brought him back to my room and was told that I was not allowed to turn off the lights when the baby was in the room because the nurses needed to see. I did it anyway, they would come back in and turn them on. They made it impossible for me to sleep well.

Definitely try to find another care provider if you make it to 36 weeks -- many MWs will take you late in the game if you explain the situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mezzaluna View Post
your DH will be with you for the birth and will be able to stay afterwards? that i think will make a big difference!

in our birth plan we put a number of specific requests, but at the top in bold in a box we wrote the two most important things - that we were trying for a natural birth, and that we wanted one of us with our baby at all times. so that was already on the table.

when DS came out, DH got to hold him and put him on my chest. we asked for DH to cut the cord, so DS was attached to me for a while, and i got to nurse him. then i had some complications from the delivery and things were getting tense...and DH went off to the nursery with DS, but stayed with him. at our request, DS wasn't bathed until much later in the day. and the bathing happened in our recovery room, as did all the other procedures other than the hearing test. they actually wanted us to stay away from the nursery because it was very full and the nurses were quite busy. they were happy to let us rest alone in our recovery room, except for randomly coming in in the middle of the night to bother us

i found it hard to advocate for myself during labor and just afterwards when things suddenly went crazy... i was too inwardly focused on just coping with my labor and then trying to enduring the interventions that happened afterwards. i'm glad we put things in writing in the birth plan, that we'd talked over our birth plan in detail with all the OBs in our practice, and that I had my DH and doula there with me to advocate so that i could concentrate on labor.

it's fortunate in a way that you've gotten acquainted with this hospital, so you know what to expect from them... you'll be much more ready to advocate for what you are going to do that you would have been if this blindsided you...

good luck mama!
Lynn,

, to what mwherbs, Elle, and Rosemary said to you. I'm so sorry to read what happen at those hospitals or medical centers.

Congratz and good luck again.
gentlebirthmothr is offline  
#12 of 54 Old 09-27-2006, 03:19 PM
 
khaoskat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If it is hospital policy they can do whatever they want. We have a hospital here, Kettering Medical Center, that forces mother baby seperation because the chance the baby could choke at night while everyone is asleep. At night
all babies are taken to the nursery and forced to remain there through the night. I believe the bring babies to mommy for feedings, but that just seems like it would rather difficult and that they would stuff a bottle in their mouth or paci.

I have never given birth their because of their policy. They have also gotten rid of any tubs in the L&D suits, so people cannot water birth or water labor.
khaoskat is offline  
#13 of 54 Old 09-27-2006, 04:17 PM
CEG
 
CEG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: somewhere new
Posts: 669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am doing my nursing clinicals in maternity now. The hospital I am at does not send babies to the nursery. But, they have a room where the babies go for things like PKU, hearing test, etc. Overall, just question any reason they want to take the baby. Most of the reasons the babies are taken at my hospital are lame. Several of the pediatricians like to do their exam there. Much better IMO to do it in front of the parents and teach them and answer any questions they have.

So, the equipment for the hearing test is on a table and would not be easily moved, but everything else should be able to be done in your room. I have seen fathers in this room during other procedures these babies are having done, so worse case your DH should assert himself and go with, or now I remember I even saw a mommy in there once.

One piece of advice is to avoid "routine" glucose screening for babe. The hospital I am at does them for all large for gestational age babes (over 8 lb 13 oz at term). They are done at birth, 2 h, 4 h, 8 h, 16 h, 24 h. ONE low blood sugar gets a ticket to the special care nursery for "monitoring" and formula and it is HARD to get those babies back. If they are adament about testing INSIST on nursing first and checking blood sugars after. I would also really question any antibiotics they want to give. Again in the hospital I am at they will give antibiotics for anything- rupture of membranes longer than 18 hours, maternal temp (usually related to the 90% epidural rate ), any old reason. This also entails trips to the procedure room.

I would make a big sign for the bassinet that says "Breastfeeding only. NO BOTTLES!" just on the chance you decide to let the baby go for something. It's not that the nurses and aids are mean or bad, they are more ignorant. I have noticed amongst a few the attitude to just give the baby a bottle once, let the momma rest, calm the baby. It's not that they want to hurt the breastfeeding relationship it's that they don't realize the implications of what they do. Also, if they baby is in a bassinet with drawers, check them and take out any formula that is in there (paci's too). Sometimes if it's there it will be assumed it's okay to use it, and it's usually just put there in case you will want it.

One good thing is they are very strict on the consents for vaccines and circumcision. I was so worried my son would get taken while I was sleeping and circed, but at this hospital there is no way they would do that.

Good luck to you. I think you will find if you have your doctor's support and are calm and firm you will not encounter many problems. Don't hesitate to speak to the charge nurse or nurse manager if you need to.
CEG is offline  
#14 of 54 Old 09-28-2006, 12:19 AM
 
DoomaYula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At the local hospital here, you can refuse anything as long as you are (1) willing to stand up to the docs and nurses, while they berate you endlessly (2) and then sign a refusal form where it basically says that you're killing yourself or your baby.

Sigh.

Good luck.

treehugger.gif Erika
mom of twins.gif (8)  blahblah.gif(5) thumbsuck.gif (3) and baby.gif born at home on Christmas day! 
DoomaYula is offline  
#15 of 54 Old 09-29-2006, 03:14 AM
 
thefragile7393's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 2,857
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hospitals can try and do whatever they want but ultimately it is your child and YOU DO have the right to refuse whatever and the right to fight. Yes it makes things harder on staff, since you're not "going with the flow" and keeping quiet. Yes you're going to sound like a broken record (one way staff can wear someone down to get them to do what they want is to keep asking/keep seeking to do something) but it is worth it for both of you to stick to your guns and do NOT back down. I cannot stress enough to have an extra support person or persons there to back you up and do what needs to be done to ensure that your wishes will be followed. You are paying THEM to take care of you, you have a right to be cared for and your child to be cared for as you see fit.

fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

thefragile7393 is offline  
#16 of 54 Old 09-29-2006, 09:56 AM
 
courtenay_e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In my own little piece of paradise
Posts: 8,164
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
yes, but be careful that this support person support YOU, NOT use THEIR voice. Around here, if you're too annoying to staff, they'll report you to CPS as being too influenced by an outside source. Yes, really. I know somebody it's happened to. *sigh* god forbid...

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

courtenay_e is offline  
#17 of 54 Old 09-29-2006, 01:38 PM
 
angelpie545's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Near water, with a refreshing rain
Posts: 6,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by courtenay_e View Post
yes, but be careful that this support person support YOU, NOT use THEIR voice. Around here, if you're too annoying to staff, they'll report you to CPS as being too influenced by an outside source. Yes, really. I know somebody it's happened to. *sigh* god forbid...
Oh that's awful that hospitals will really go that far.."influenced by an outside person". I hope whomever you knew that this happened too came out of it okay. I'd like to think that CPS has enough of a head on it's shoulders to see through things like this-but I know unfortunately that's not always true.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

angelpie545 is offline  
#18 of 54 Old 09-29-2006, 06:19 PM
 
rabrog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Alaska
Posts: 8,319
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Even better than arguing not to take the baby to the nursery (they'll take the baby there right after birth and then will want to for weight checks, etc. while you're in the hospital) is to have someone with the baby at all times. This could be dh or a grandparent - this person is to stay with baby AT ALL TIMES. If they try to say this person can't be in the nursery for whatever reason (they try this at shift changes) then tell them they have to come back for baby when it is convenient for the designated person to be there also.

Jenn
rabrog is offline  
#19 of 54 Old 09-29-2006, 06:35 PM
 
crunchy_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,968
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I live in a small town area and everyone told me on and on about how they "have" to take to the baby for this and that. I simply put it in my birth plan, and then gave copies to everyone. Dh went with him a couple of times for weighing and a hearing test. Dh did the bath in our room. I think the key is not presenting it as an option, or even asking. You are the parent. You let them know that if they come to ask about any procedure that you or someone else will be going (if you deem them necessary).

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
crunchy_mama is offline  
#20 of 54 Old 09-29-2006, 06:38 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by khaoskat View Post
If it is hospital policy they can do whatever they want.

Actually this is not true. You can refuse to let them take your baby. It's your baby. If you won't hand the baby over, what are they going to do, wrestle it away?

-Angela
alegna is offline  
#21 of 54 Old 09-29-2006, 06:59 PM
 
OnTheFence's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Alabama
Posts: 3,742
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Actually this is not true. You can refuse to let them take your baby. It's your baby. If you won't hand the baby over, what are they going to do, wrestle it away?

-Angela
It doesnt matter what hospital policy is. You can check your baby out of the hospital and yourself and leave, or just your baby out and they cant do a damn thing.

I have had three biological children and only one was "kept" from me. However, she did have a medical necessity that I didn't completely understand at the time and that was the reason for our seperation. (we have ABO incompatibility and she had dangerously high bilirueben)
For the next two children, they did not go to the nursery unless I sent them. They stayed with me the entire time, even in recovery after my csections. Jack went to the nursery the second night because I just needed some sleep and I wanted him to have a bath (he started to stink) and they were going to do his hearing screen. He was there I believe three hours and was brought to me when he woke up for a feeding. Katie, the last baby born to us, was with us in our room the entire time unless we accompianed her to the nursery. She had ABO incompatibility and was jaundice at birth. All of her light therapy was done in our room, even though some of the nurses complained. Also, the pediatrician came to our room for the eval because I wouldn't let them take her. Surely if the ped is going to come to my room to tell me about the eval, they can do it right there. I walked her to the nursery for a bath (because frankly, she was nasty) and then another time to do her hearing screen. Both times I was welcomed to just hang out in the nursery and talk to the other moms and nurses. No big deal.
They can't legally FORCE you to put your baby in the nursery. How insane.

Note: Our hospital does have a policy about csection moms, or moms on drugs being left unattended with a newborn. There must be another adult in the room. This is something I did respect because it is not uncommon for csection moms to pass out in the bathroom or have spells. Someone is with me at all times so there is not a "medical" reason to remove my child. I just think this is common sense.
OnTheFence is offline  
#22 of 54 Old 09-29-2006, 07:07 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheFence View Post
They can't legally FORCE you to put your baby in the nursery. How insane.

Well there you have it, hell is now freezing over because OTF and I agree on something



-Angela
alegna is offline  
#23 of 54 Old 09-30-2006, 12:56 AM
 
OnTheFence's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Alabama
Posts: 3,742
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Well there you have it, hell is now freezing over because OTF and I agree on something



-Angela



I knew it was getting chilly down here.
OnTheFence is offline  
#24 of 54 Old 09-30-2006, 01:34 AM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And hey, anything that you and I can agree on, MUST be true, eh?

-Angela
alegna is offline  
#25 of 54 Old 09-30-2006, 01:36 AM
 
aisraeltax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: never never land & CPP
Posts: 5,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ive had 3 babies, 2 in the hospital. they can not legally require you to consent to anything. you hvae to give free consent. if you dont agree, tell them you do NOT consent. period.

good luck!
aisraeltax is offline  
#26 of 54 Old 09-30-2006, 01:45 AM
 
Aura_Kitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Down by the River...
Posts: 7,244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
in short: yes, they can force you to send your baby to a nursery and they can indeed report you to CPS if you don't comply or even if you leave the hospital early.



crazy but this is also where we get the "legitimacy" that gets courts to rule in favor of doctors who do things like force women to get a c-section. s even if you don't give your consent, they can get around it if they really want to by saying that you are not making a judgement in the best interest of your child (or yourself in some cases).... doctors are given an extraordinary amount of power, and power that is completely backed by the judicial system.

happy facism, America.
Aura_Kitten is offline  
#27 of 54 Old 09-30-2006, 01:50 AM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aura_Kitten View Post
in short: yes, they can force you to send your baby to a nursery and they can indeed report you to CPS if you don't comply or even if you leave the hospital early.

They can NOT force you. They can report you to CPS for anything they wish.

One of oh-so-many reasons to homebirth.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
#28 of 54 Old 09-30-2006, 02:09 AM
 
Aura_Kitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Down by the River...
Posts: 7,244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
They can NOT force you. They can report you to CPS for anything they wish.

One of oh-so-many reasons to homebirth.

-Angela


ok then can we define "force"?

i could say they "forced" my best friend to put her baby in the nursery for observation, and by that i mean that they called security on her and also told her that she would have all the rest of her kids taken away if she didn't comply. i would say that's being "forced" into it, and that the hospital got away with it. but maybe we're defining "force" differently. ?
Aura_Kitten is offline  
#29 of 54 Old 09-30-2006, 02:09 AM
 
Aura_Kitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Down by the River...
Posts: 7,244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
and yes definitey a reason to homebirth!!
Aura_Kitten is offline  
#30 of 54 Old 09-30-2006, 02:19 AM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's awful that they did that to your friend. Fact of the matter is though, baby is yours (well, hers...). Sadly, they do bully in many ways.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off