"Oh, you went natural?" - Mothering Forums
1 2  3 
Birth and Beyond > "Oh, you went natural?"
NYCVeg's Avatar NYCVeg 02:17 PM 10-20-2006
So, I was getting my teeth cleaned the other day by a very pregnant dental hygienist. I'm moderately dental-phobic, and so I made a joke about being able to have a baby without pain medication but not being able to stand getting my teeth cleaned. She said, "Oh, you went natural?"

There's something about this phraseology--"went natural"--that rubs me the wrong way, and I can't figure out what it is. Is it the casualness of it--i.e., as though it's super easy to just decide to "go natural" in our birth culture? (I had an out-of-hospital birth, so it was "easy"--in the sense that I didn't have to fight off epidurals--but know very few moms who ended up with a completely intervention-free hospital birth.)

I'm not sure. Am I just oversensitive and crazy? Was I just put off by the fact that she seemed shocked that I exclusively bf and don't supplement?

sapphire_chan's Avatar sapphire_chan 03:10 PM 10-20-2006
"went natural" makes it sound like you did it as a fad. "Oh you went vegetarian for a few years?"
captain optimism's Avatar captain optimism 03:12 PM 10-20-2006
Heh, it sounds like a hairstyle!

I like it that she was so judgement-free about it, though. Like, "Oh, that's cool" and not "Oh, I could never do that."
St. Margaret 03:29 PM 10-20-2006
Yeah, I think this bothers me for the same reason, like it's some flip decison or trend. Also, no one says, "Oh, you went high-tech, high-intervention?" LOL. Maybe I'll tell people I'm going to be actively birthing my baby or something like that, to set a different tone.
MsElle07's Avatar MsElle07 03:31 PM 10-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
Yeah, I think this bothers me for the same reason, like it's some flip decison or trend. Also, no one says, "Oh, you went high-tech, high-intervention?"

sapphire_chan's Avatar sapphire_chan 04:19 PM 10-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
Also, no one says, "Oh, you went high-tech, high-intervention?"
: Now I'm going to be watching for chances to ask that.
WonderWild's Avatar WonderWild 04:25 PM 10-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
"Oh, you went high-tech, high-intervention?"
That's a good one!

I guess it's "natural" as opposed to the "un-natural" way of hospitalized births?
St. Margaret 04:27 PM 10-20-2006
Hee The worst is when someone says they are going natural too, and by that they mean vaginal :P
rmzbm's Avatar rmzbm 04:32 PM 10-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
"Oh, you went high-tech, high-intervention?"
That's a good one!
kalisis's Avatar kalisis 04:34 PM 10-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
Hee The worst is when someone says they are going natural too, and by that they mean vaginal :P
My mw just told me a story yesterday about how she had to explain that in her terms and that of her OB's office (she works p/t at an OB office who actually trained under her years ago and has one of the lowest csection rates in the area) having a vaginal birth with an epidural isn't 'natural'. She said the client was shocked.

Rubs me the wrong way too tho - guess maybe cause like a pp said, makes it sound like a fad or something and not a choice that I had to fight for and put up with all kinds of crap for.
CathToria's Avatar CathToria 05:42 PM 10-20-2006
Yes, I also don't like the term. It would be more appropriate if people said "so you chose to avoid drugs". I guess the part that bothers me is teh fact that for many of us, having an unmedicated birth is a choice, and that seems to be left out if you just "go natural"....
AnnesMoM's Avatar AnnesMoM 06:10 PM 10-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
Hee The worst is when someone says they are going natural too, and by that they mean vaginal :P
This REALLY rubs me the wrong way. It's like going "natural" is "cool" now and so people want to be able to say that. It really takes away from people who actually have a REAL natural birth since half the people these days are thinking you just mean a vaginal birth.
lolar2's Avatar lolar2 06:18 PM 10-20-2006
I thought people who say "natural" to mean "vaginal" just thought it was rude to say "vaginal." The ones I meet who do that seem to be the same people who in general won't say the names of sex organs.
stacyann21's Avatar stacyann21 07:25 PM 10-20-2006
It's even worse before you have the baby. I've had so many people tell me that I'll be "screaming for the epidural"
MommytoTwo's Avatar MommytoTwo 07:58 PM 10-20-2006
Yeah that is annoying ... here is another. My friend, who had a scheduled c/s was HORRIFIED that I was in labor for 33 hours before ending up with a c-section. But the way she says it is this: "I cant believe they labored you for 33 hours" .... huh????
Herausgeber's Avatar Herausgeber 09:23 PM 10-20-2006
It's started to come up recently amongst some of my close friends, since I'm due in a few weeks. Some seem shocked that I "really" will go through with my plan to go to the birth center, not a hospital. Like, no, I was just joking before!

But I don't think they mean it judgmentally. It's just so unusual around here. Same with breastfeeding for more than a few weeks.
accountclosed3's Avatar accountclosed3 10:03 PM 10-20-2006
for me, it amkes it sound like an oddity. birth is "naturally natural." we intervene for any number of reasons--but for the majority of people in our culture it's for absolutely innane reasons. For some of the people, it's for absolutely the right reasons (life-saving techniques, etc).
laohaire's Avatar laohaire 11:06 PM 10-20-2006
I just don't like how it's said as an oddity. Rather than saying to women, "Oh, you had drugs?" they just assume you did, and only comment when you didn't.

Of course, that makes sense... I read a recent statistic that 90-something percent of women giving birth last year had an epidural, a number that spun my head....

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against it in all cases, but I certainly am against ROUTINE use of epidurals. I figure only 5-10% of women should be getting one. But hey, it's not my place to decide for other women.
NYCVeg's Avatar NYCVeg 11:57 PM 10-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herausgeber View Post
It's started to come up recently amongst some of my close friends, since I'm due in a few weeks. Some seem shocked that I "really" will go through with my plan to go to the birth center, not a hospital. Like, no, I was just joking before!
Quote:
Originally Posted by stacyann21 View Post
It's even worse before you have the baby. I've had so many people tell me that I'll be "screaming for the epidural"
Yes, after my birth, my SIL said to me, "I thought for sure you were going to get the drugs." Erm, thanks. My ILs also kept asking, "But what if you WANT pain medication." And I kept saying, "Well, that's we're not going to the hospital. When I'm in labor, I probably will think I want pain medication--so I'm taking the option away." They REALLY didn't get that.

You know what, stacyann? I screamed my head off in labor...it didn't mean I needed drugs. I'm just a screamer, apparently.
sparkprincess's Avatar sparkprincess 12:09 AM 10-21-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
Hee The worst is when someone says they are going natural too, and by that they mean vaginal :P
UGH. That annoys me to no end! I have a friend who always says that - I think because she can't bear to say the word "vaginal".
~Mamaterra~'s Avatar ~Mamaterra~ 12:34 AM 10-21-2006
My mom told me as I grew up that she had "natural childbirth" for all of us. It wasn't until I was pg with my first that she thought natural=vaginal, and not without drugs/intervention.

BTW, when I told her that I was birthing at home "naturally", she said "Oh Rosemary, why would you do you feel like you have to punish yourself like that!!!"
katja's Avatar katja 12:47 AM 10-21-2006
I may be the only one who likes when people say "went natural." It sounds so laid back. "Chose to avoid an epidural" is pretty cumbersome.
MsElle07's Avatar MsElle07 01:04 AM 10-21-2006
I use the term "unmedicated" to refer to my drug free vaginal birth, since the current climate is to use the word natural in place of vaginal.
CableGirl's Avatar CableGirl 02:04 AM 10-21-2006
I have to agree with the PP who said
Quote:
It's even worse before you have the baby. I've had so many people tell me that I'll be "screaming for the epidural"
I am birthign in a birth center specifically because I don't want unnecessary medical intervention, I don't want people pushing an epi on me, I don't want anyone telling me that I "need" to be induced. But, man am I sick of people assuming that I won't be able to take it. I mean, really, thanks for the vote of confidence folks! :

It's funny I frequently hear people who go the hospitalization, induction, epi route complain about natural birthing mothers as being so militant and judgemental.. but seriously I find the exact opposite is true. Nearly everyone i know tries to talk me out of my birth choice. Get your freaking nose out of my uterus!!! It's my choice people. And I choose to let my body do what it was designed to do, thank you very much.
St. Margaret 01:34 PM 10-21-2006
Oh man, this is where I am right now, CableGirl. First time mom, and I am so freaked that people will just pelt me with doubting statements. I want to tell them my mother birthed me naturally, I'm sure I can do it as well! It's hard b/c they act like they have all the authority, but did they really prepare for birth? Did they just lay down and get hooked up? What do they really know? (speaking of people who say these kinds of things only). I think I might reply, if someone spouts this at me, well, I've raised children all day long (living/working in our family day care) and let me just assure YOU my dea that you're sure to fail miserably at that. What the heck? Why is it okay to say to someone they will fail?
JeDeeLenae's Avatar JeDeeLenae 02:11 PM 10-21-2006
I had a 1/4 shot of Nubain during labor, and PROM, but for the most part, consider my son's birth to be a natural birth. It wasn't intervention free, unfortunately, but it was closer to natural than I'd ever known of with people around me. Saying "went natural" I think is just for a lack of better words. Rather than some of the alternatives which do seem to be a bit... cumbersome.
sapphire_chan's Avatar sapphire_chan 03:03 PM 10-21-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
Oh man, this is where I am right now, CableGirl. First time mom, and I am so freaked that people will just pelt me with doubting statements. I want to tell them my mother birthed me naturally, I'm sure I can do it as well! It's hard b/c they act like they have all the authority, but did they really prepare for birth? Did they just lay down and get hooked up? What do they really know? (speaking of people who say these kinds of things only). I think I might reply, if someone spouts this at me, well, I've raised children all day long (living/working in our family day care) and let me just assure YOU my dea that you're sure to fail miserably at that. What the heck? Why is it okay to say to someone they will fail?
Honestly, when the time comes I fully intend to invent an older sibling for using with strangers "well, I had no problems with my son." Even if I've already babbled on about this being my first baby.
CableGirl's Avatar CableGirl 11:06 PM 10-21-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
It's hard b/c they act like they have all the authority, but did they really prepare for birth? Did they just lay down and get hooked up? What do they really know?
I so hear you on that! I have a friend who has been planning fro mth every start to have an epi and to "feel nothing" for the birth. She was just explaining to me how silly I was for taking hypnobirthing classes to prepare. "Sorry, *you* may not have to prepare since your such a chicken shit that you're not even willing to give it a try, I, however, do need to prepare."

BTW, no offense intended to anyone here who is pro-epi... I just was so sick of this particular person making comments and I felt like her reasons were a total wimp cop out.
JeDeeLenae's Avatar JeDeeLenae 11:42 PM 10-21-2006
I think I was more bothered by the discouraging remarks from others than I am by the "went natural/going natural" statements.

Mom: "Don't do that to yourself, honey."
DH: "I don't think you're going to be able to do it."
Dad: "Remember when Jordan was born?"

blah blah blah.... I would have LOVED someone to say, "You're going natural??" regardless of the look of horror or shock, rather than some of the comments from my "supportive" network.
Quagmire's Avatar Quagmire 11:39 AM 10-22-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCVeg View Post
I screamed my head off in labor...it didn't mean I needed drugs. I'm just a screamer, apparently.
Hah! Me too. My DH was so scared for me during this last birth... I guess I was making some pretty unholy sounds. But not once did it occur to me to want drugs.
1 2  3 

Up