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#31 of 53 Old 11-08-2006, 09:34 PM
 
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October16Mom the majority of all hospital births are induced/augmented with pitocin. Frankly, I'd rather be induced with pitocin than with cytotec. I'm glad you and your baby are ok!

~Erin
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#32 of 53 Old 11-08-2006, 11:15 PM
 
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When I went for my 38-week appointment, my OB said the baby was getting too big and I’d never be able to have him naturally if we waited too long, so we should induce soon. I was already a couple of centimeters dilated, so he stripped my membranes and told me to go to the hospital the next day to be induced.

My induction started the next morning at 5am with the nurses giving me an IV. I was a worried about how I’d eaten a large breakfast because they told me I shouldn’t eat anything, but they told me that was probably okay and shouldn’t cause problems. I asked when I could have my epidural and we all laughed.

They monitored the baby for a while then they hooked up the Pitocin. My back hurt, but I knew I had to stay still to make sure monitor belts would work right and my baby would be safe (dh thought the monitor machine was cool). I got a shot of Demorol at about 8am and napped a bit. At 10, my doctor came in to check on me. He watched the monitors for a few minutes then said that I wasn’t contracting enough and to turn up the Pitocin. He also checked my dilation and I was already to 4 centimeters! After they turned up the Pitocin they brought in the anesthesiologist and I didn’t even have to ask for an epidural—I love my OB! Those contractions were *really* painful for awhile, don’t ever let anyone tell you differently, epidurals are the *BEST* *DRUGS* *EVER*.

My mom and dh got some lunch around 1pm while I took a nap.

At around 3pm, my OB was getting worried about my progress and told me I might need a c-section if things didn’t start going faster. He broke my waters to help get things going. I was really hungry, but he said it was dangerous to eat in case I had a C-section, so I could only have ice chips. We all watched some TV until my doctor came in about 8pm. He checked me and said I was only at 6cm. He said it was dangerous for my water to be broken for too long and turned up the Pitocin all the way.

I LOVE my anesthesiologist. The monitor said the contractions were really strong and I couldn’t feel a thing because he kept my epidural topped off. Dh and I made jokes about how intense they were. It was kind of weird to watch my belly move and not feel anything.

By 10, I was finally at 9cm. I was going to see my baby soon!! All of a sudden, the monitor started beeping. The nurses came rushing in and said the baby’s heart rate was dropping and we’d probably have to have a C-section. The doctor came in and said the baby would die if we didn’t do a C-section right away. So I signed the papers and half an hour later, my husband was holding little Ethan: 7lbs 10oz, 21.5 inches long!!!

His APGARs were 5 and 9 which was so Ethan went off to the NICU to be checked out just in case and I went to recovery. The doctor came and checked on me in the recovery room. He said we had a problem called cephalopelvic disproportion, where Ethan’s head was just too big to fit through my pelvis, and that it’s a very common problem now because people are healthier and they grow bigger babies than they used to. He said all my babies would have to be C-sections no later than 38 weeks, because if I go into labor, my uterus could rupture and both my baby and I would die. I don’t care, the important thing is a healthy baby and at least things won’t be all stretched out “down there” and I can pick the baby’s birthday.

After a few hours, the nurses took me to my room and I got to try nursing Ethan. They warned me that my milk wouldn’t be in yet, so I could nurse him to get the hang of it, but I’d have to feed him formula until it came in, so he didn’t starve. After I nursed him, Bob got to give his son his first bottle! They were so cute together—my men! Then they took him back to the nursery so I could rest. It was almost two in the morning by then, so I was tired!

My whole family came by to visit us in the hospital. It was annoying because I was still tired from the c-section, but I wanted everyone to be able to see Ethan as soon as possible. When Ethan was three days old, it was time to go home.
*******This would be where a birthstory would typically end

The nurses gave us a bunch of free formula because breastfeeding didn’t seem to be working. It hurt when he latched on and he just gulped down the formula afterwards, some babies just need to eat more. I don’t really mind giving up breastfeeding. This way Bob can take some of the night feedings and it’s important for him to be able bond with Ethan too.
********This would be mentioned in a thread where someone asks for breastfeeding help.

About an hour before we left, the doctor circumcised him. He was only gone about 15 minutes, and he was sleeping when he came back. The nurses said he slept right through it and didn’t feel a thing.
*********This would be in response to someone who was concerned about doing circumcision.

The bit about the OB saving the babies life would come about if someone mentioned any of the following:
inductions leading to c-sections
VBAC
homebirth
use of pitocin
big babies

It would go along the lines of:
"I think that all that matters is having a healthy baby. Ethan would have *died* if we hadn't been in the hospital with my OB. My OB saved my baby's life and I'm not about to risk the lives of any of my future babies."

And the SIL comment would be if someone asked about homebirth:
"My SIL is one of those crazy homebirthers people. She actually tried to tell me homebirth was safe when she *knows* my baby's life was saved because I was in the hospital. Besides that, how are you going to get an epidural in a homebirth? No one should ever give birth without an epidural."
************

Isn't it reassuring to know that these are montages and not what any one person really experienced?

I'd love for someone to get inspired and do the waterbirth at home parody.
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#33 of 53 Old 11-08-2006, 11:19 PM
 
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That did sound much more like a real birthstory rather than a parody though some of it still did not ring true. But I don't really understand the point in trying to be more realistic if just for theory's sake rather than actual use.
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#34 of 53 Old 11-08-2006, 11:20 PM
 
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Actually, from what I remember of the birth stories, the real flaw in this as a parody is that it gives too much technical information. It's too long. This sort of detail is only really interesting to birth analysts not to the amalgam of personalities that go into the hypothetical mother-to-be of the story.
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#35 of 53 Old 11-08-2006, 11:25 PM
 
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That did sound much more like a real birthstory rather than a parody though some of it still did not ring true. But I don't really understand the point in trying to be more realistic if just for theory's sake rather than actual use.
Wasabi, it's for theory's sake because I agree entirely with you that trying to fool people would be mean. As for why do it at all? Well, I did that edit for the same reason I looked up the prices per ounce of formula and gold for the "Formula is Liquid Gold?" thread in Lactivism and also for the same reason I have such a high post count, if I'm curious about something I'll ask even if it has nothing to do with my life or anything that will ever relate to my life.

(There was also an element of "can I do it at all?" because writing is an unbelievably weak area for me.)
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#36 of 53 Old 11-08-2006, 11:27 PM
 
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Actually, from what I remember of the birth stories, the real flaw in this as a parody is that it gives too much technical information. It's too long. This sort of detail is only really interesting to birth analysts not to the amalgam of personalities that go into the hypothetical mother-to-be of the story.
Mine are way longer than that and they were natural births. I'm just wordy.
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#37 of 53 Old 11-08-2006, 11:34 PM
 
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Mine are way longer than that and they were natural births. I'm just wordy.
Natural birth stories tend to be longer with lots of details. That's what make them so much more fun to read.
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#38 of 53 Old 11-10-2006, 11:29 AM
 
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I think if you posted on a mainstream site, then got all the responses and came back here and we all just had a laughing party at other women's expense, then that would serve no benefit except meanness.

However, I think if you can help these women, even if it is to just consider thinking about other options, that would be really beneficial to the moms on the mainstream site.

I'm not sure exactly how to do this. I wouldn't reveal it is a fake in the headline or beginning. But maybe at the end? Maybe just say "Response is welcome. Do you feel this is a positive or negative account? Is there anything the mother could have done differently? The Hospital staff?... Then list some links to alternative sites, clearly stating what they are for. For example link to LLL and say in the link, if you need support or help with breastfeeding, contact LLL....
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#39 of 53 Old 11-10-2006, 01:01 PM
 
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Or at the end, "This is one possibility for birth. There are many more options. Take a look at the following websites to learn more about what birth can be:"
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#40 of 53 Old 11-10-2006, 07:55 PM
 
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I sort of agree with the poster that feels that mocking others' experiences isn't very kind or gentle. At the same time, I know the frustration with the modern culture of birth that led to this story. Still, it is hard for me to read, because despite my best intention I had two epidural births. Both were planned hospital births, because that was my comfort zone, especially with my second. Anyway, it isn't about me, but I'm just putting out there that I see that other moms could feel offended, or hurt, or guilty after reading this. But I can also see how it could lead some to think about other choices. I suppose I'm torn on this one.

Oh, btw, I'd consider parodying the home waterbirth, but it would probably royally piss off so many people here that I think I'd be afraid to try it. I'll give you the opener though:

"I love being pregnant. I always feel like such a goddess and earth mother when my body is filled with life, this is what I was made for! So of course I was a little sad when I started contractions, knowing my beautiful pregnancy would soon be over. I wasn't tired of being pregnant at all, even though I was 47 weeks and 4 days when the contractions began. I just hoped my baby would be the full 15 pounds 10 ounces I've been planning on!"
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#41 of 53 Old 11-10-2006, 08:09 PM
 
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"I love being pregnant. I always feel like such a goddess and earth mother when my body is filled with life, this is what I was made for! So of course I was a little sad when I started contractions, knowing my beautiful pregnancy would soon be over. I wasn't tired of being pregnant at all, even though I was 47 weeks and 4 days when the contractions began. I just hoped my baby would be the full 15 pounds 10 ounces I've been planning on!"
: : :

Sorry, should have said that I wanted to see a *montage* of home waterbirths.

(A parody of mainstream birth would *definitely* offend people.)
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#42 of 53 Old 11-10-2006, 08:11 PM
 
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I have heard almost that whole story from my SIL. One thing she said which stood out in my mind though was; "It's a good thing that I didn't eat. Because I would have DIED if I had eaten because I had an emergency c/s"

Heather Mike Married 8/1/99 Mom to Charlotte Aug 04, Nov 06, and Katherine Oct 07
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#43 of 53 Old 11-10-2006, 09:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love being pregnant. I always feel like such a goddess and earth mother when my body is filled with life, this is what I was made for! So of course I was a little sad when I started contractions, knowing my beautiful pregnancy would soon be over. I wasn't tired of being pregnant at all, even though I was 47 weeks and 4 days when the contractions began. I just hoped my baby would be the full 15 pounds 10 ounces I've been planning on!
OMG, that is hilarious!

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#44 of 53 Old 11-11-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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i've heard a lot of women say they wanted to kiss their anesthesiologist after getting the epidural - and really mean it, too... there seems to be some kind of a sexual moment there that would make a very authentic detail.

for the breastfeeding part, maybe something about trying to breastfeed but then the baby's not gaining, and they are told they are starving their baby and they're being selfish.

oh and of course after the c-section... that she never expected it, never read that part in her pregnancy/birth books, but the baby is healthy and "that's all that matters."

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#45 of 53 Old 11-11-2006, 05:35 PM
 
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It's scary how real that montage is! But, well done.

On the reverse side, I think a water homebirth parody story would be great! I can't write right now but I have a few suggestions for elements of it:

Calls contractions "rushes" or "expansions" and never feels a bit of pain
She lives in a commune
She feeds farm animals and does gardening during early labor
Has sex with her DP in active labor
She takes a walk outside naked
Candles catch something on fire
She chants some utterly hilarious birth mantra
Mentions an epidural in transition and everyone laughs
Birth tub springs a leak
The midwife arrives late
Eats the placenta, a big bloody hunk of it right after it's out OR does lotus birth
Starts nursing right off and the baby NEVER, EVER unlatches in first few weeks, plans to nurse til age 12
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#46 of 53 Old 11-11-2006, 07:08 PM
 
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I think parodying an "all-natural" birth would be funny too. Nothing wrong with laughing at ourselves, as well.

That last list made me think of "Spiritual Midwifery and some of the birth stories therin. I know they were using the language of the time, but for someone who was born in 1982, the language and some of the concepts are, well, "way out".
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#47 of 53 Old 11-11-2006, 07:10 PM
 
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"I love being pregnant. I always feel like such a goddess and earth mother when my body is filled with life, this is what I was made for! So of course I was a little sad when I started contractions, knowing my beautiful pregnancy would soon be over. I wasn't tired of being pregnant at all, even though I was 47 weeks and 4 days when the contractions began. I just hoped my baby would be the full 15 pounds 10 ounces I've been planning on!"


I think that's what some people actually "hear" when I talk about pregnancy and birth. To them, 42 weeks and 10 lbs is just as crazy sounding as the parody. :
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#48 of 53 Old 11-11-2006, 07:17 PM
 
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I must have told you my first birth story

Seriously...pitocin, cytotec, epidural, formula. We also did the bouncy seat, Baby Einstein, solids at 4 months...and oh, I read Babywise when I was pregnant with my second :

You forgot our first round of immunizations!

It's amazing how much things can change in just a few years.
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#49 of 53 Old 11-11-2006, 10:15 PM
 
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I don't know how many times I have heard that.... However, I think you have the baby size too big, for a lot of mainstreamers anything over 7 is huge.

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#50 of 53 Old 11-11-2006, 10:32 PM
 
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Crunchy-mama, you're absolutely right. To match better with actual birth stories, the first bit has to read "When I went for my 38-week appointment, my OB said the baby was getting too big and would probably be 9 pounds if we waited too long, so we should induce soon" and then at the end the baby's weight should be given as 6 pounds 9 ounces.
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#51 of 53 Old 11-12-2006, 06:01 PM
 
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Wow. As I was reading the OP, I had this sinking feeling and I caught a glimpse of my face. Weird plastic-looking smile thing going on there...

if that's what I look like when I hear modern birth stories IRL I really should stop it. I don't think that face fools anyone.
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#52 of 53 Old 11-13-2006, 02:43 AM
 
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Natural birth stories tend to be longer with lots of details. That's what make them so much more fun to read.
I've noticed that! I think it has to with the sense of empowerment, not to mention general knowledge about childbirth . A lady on a mainstream board I frequent just posted a story scarily similar. She was a week away from her due date and her baby was measuring a little small...so her doctor stripped her membranes??!! :

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#53 of 53 Old 11-13-2006, 02:45 AM
 
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other than the induction, you basically wrote my first 2 births, which ended up as c/s's. i tried more with bf'ing my first but believed the drs. the 2nd time around when they told me i couldnt bf.

i am SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY I foud MDC!
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