She's already 1cm dilated and I am SO jealous! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My friend is 37 weeks pregnant, and already 1cm dilated. Of course I am happy for her that she will be going into labor soon most likely (she has an intervention happy OB who won't let her go past her due date, so this is good) but I can't help but feel JEALOUS!
This is her first baby and she's the type of person that asks questions about labor/hospitals/drs/etc and when I tell her about it she kind of dismisses it and chooses to be a bit ignorant.
I'm jealous because I feel like I worked so hard my whole pregnancy to 'prime' my body for labor, walking, squatting, taking my herbs, reading and educating myself and I wanted so badly to have a calm, unmedicated birth and it took me almost 12 hours of pretty hard labor to get to 1cm!
It's childish but it seem so unfair sometimes how you do all that you can to prepare yourself and then someone else who doesn't really care as much gets it for 'free'.
Okay, so I guess that's my pity party

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#2 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 06:33 PM
 
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Yes she is at one cm. The only thing that means is that is one less cm she has to open in labor.

Being 1 cm dilated doesn't mean she will begin labor anytime soon. I was 2 cm for weeks before going into labor. I had a friend who was at 3 and went two weeks over her "due date".

She may go early, she may not. There really is no way to tell until loss of mucous plug (and it still could be many days after) or active labor.

It sounds like you worked really hard to do the best for you and your baby. Be proud mama!

It can be disapointing when we don't get the experience we wanted.
I had a pretty hard labor and many of the things I tried sooooo hard to prevent happened. I can't help but be jealous of those who pushed their baby's out quickly and much more easily than I did. My baby had his own journey in mind I guess. He was born the way he needed to be @ the inconvenience of his mama! They are so worth it though.
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#3 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 06:53 PM
 
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I was dilated 4 cms at the end of 37 weeks, baby arrived at 40w2d. And I didn't exactly have a short and sweet labor, either. It basically means nothing.
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#4 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 07:21 PM
 
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Being effaced or dialated does not give any idea of how soon labor will start.
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#5 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 07:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She has also lost her mucous plug and is having bloody show, just an update. Of course I know that being effaced and other signs don't mean you'll start labor. You can't really know until well, you start labor! But my jealous simply comes from the fact that I hoped that my body would give me a small head start with a couple of cm of dilation before I ever felt labor and well, she's 'lucky' enough to have that. Just me feeling pitiful for myself!

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#6 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 08:52 PM
 
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I guess I'm not sure what there is to be jealous of. I mean I remember being tired of being pregnant at the end, but your body is meant to cook the baby as thoroughly as possible and it sounds like you did a good job of doing just that. I had a labor false alarm/hindwater rupture at 37 weeks and I was scared and overwhelmed because it seemed too early and I wasn't anywhere near prepared. So I guess the grass is always greener.
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#7 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 09:14 PM
 
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If it makes you feel any better, I started losing plug at 36 weeks, started having false labor and was dilated to 3.5 and 60% effaced at 37 weeks, and to 4 cm and 85% effaced with bulging water at 38 weeks, but didn't go into labor until 39 weeks on the dot. My labor was fast, but I don't know if it's because I had so much progress already or if it was because my body just responded really well to "real" contractions.
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#8 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 09:26 PM
 
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Don't be jealous, just because your cervix is not dilated does not mean your body is not ready for labor. Your cervix could be ripening and effacing as we speak. I've known so many women go from being zero centimeters to delivering their babies in less than a day. Checking your cervix prior to labor really does not offer any answers at all.

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#9 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 09:34 PM
 
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I was 1-2cm dialated from 37-40 weeks and nothing happened until I was induced.
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#10 of 23 Old 12-28-2006, 10:45 PM
 
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I agree with the others. I was 3 cm, 80% effaced at 35 weeks with my first. I walked around at 5 cm for days before being induced at 38 weeks. I'm sure it would have happened within a week's time, but it was far from imminent.

I was 6 cm this time before being induced. I know of a few ladies that can walk around being 4+ for days without labor starting.

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#11 of 23 Old 12-29-2006, 02:27 AM
 
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I dialate early too, and by 37 weeks I was 4 cm with every birth. Doesn't mean a thing for labor length, labor dificulty, or arrival date!

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#12 of 23 Old 12-29-2006, 02:14 PM
 
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I agree with the PP's...she may be jealous of YOU soon. I was nearly 4 cm. by my DD (2-3 for nearly a month before) and still went "overdue."

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#13 of 23 Old 12-29-2006, 02:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 1babysmom View Post
I agree with the PP's...she may be jealous of YOU soon. I was nearly 4 cm. by my DD (2-3 for nearly a month before) and still went "overdue."
Me too.
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#14 of 23 Old 12-29-2006, 03:02 PM
 
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Being dialated ahead of time doesn't do anything for labor. With my 2nd I was 4 cm, 100% effaced and baby at zero station at 36 weeks. Still went to 42 weeks, and had a 36 hour horendous labor. And with #5 I was 5 cm before I went into labor and then actually closed up some. Talk about disappointment! Its just better not to know before hand.

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#15 of 23 Old 12-29-2006, 03:07 PM
 
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yeah well, I'm pretty much jealous of anyone who makes it to term. After two premies, all I want is to take a baby home (or have it at home ). If I can convince dh to have a third, we'll see what happens.
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#16 of 23 Old 12-29-2006, 03:15 PM
 
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I wouldn't feel jealous... if she KNOWS she's "1 cm" that means she had someone shoving a hand up her hoo ha. OUCH.

Plus as pointed out it means precisely squat about how long/short, hard/easy her labor will be. It is even possible to dilate in reverse, going from 5 cm to 3 cm, but this is usually caused by extreme emotional stress.

Just because she starts dilating a teensy bit before labor doesn't mean she'll have an easy labor, her baby won't be in an odd position, or she won't have hours of pushing or even end up with a c-section or a live baby when it's all said and done. There are NO GUARANTEES in life, don't take anything for granted.
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#17 of 23 Old 12-30-2006, 04:31 PM
 
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fwiw, with my first i started ctx about 3-5 minutes apart on a sunday night. at my appt that monday morning i was 1cm dilated. i went in the next day because i was exhausted from contracting for so long and was 2cm dilated. the morning of the third day i was 3cm dilated. ugh!! at any rate, my baby came about 12 hours after i was 3cm dilated and 72 hours from when the regular, couldn't sleep through them contractions started.

with my second my water broke in the late afternoon and i started having some light, irregular contractions around 8pm. i got checked the first time around 11:45pm that night and was 4 cm. baby was out about a half hour later. totally different labor than my first. so just because you aren't dilated at all doesn't mean you'll have a harder labor. i had weekly checks with my second because of ptl worries and was still not even 1cm at 35 weeks. dd2 came less than two weeks later with only about four hours of ctx. so don't let your past hold you back this time around!!!

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#18 of 23 Old 12-30-2006, 07:00 PM
 
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Don't be too jealous, I walked around at 4 cm and 50-75% effaced for 3 1/2 weeks before DD was born!

Lynisha ~Car Seat Tech-Scrapbookin'-Cake Decorating-semi-crunchy wife & SAHM to 2 + one on the way in Nov~

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#19 of 23 Old 12-31-2006, 11:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by moodyred01 View Post
she has an intervention happy OB who won't let her go past her due date, so this is good
Now here, this is where I'd be feeling sorry for her, not jealous! Being dilated to 1cm now doesn't have anything to do with whether she'll give birth soon, but having an OB who'll induce her at 40w1d means she's much more likely to have a c-section. Yuck!

Oh, and count me in the "didn't dilate until I was in labor" camp, also. I'm happy to have a body eager to keep my kids inside until it's well and truly time for them to be born.

Sonja , 40, married to DH (42) since 5-29-93, DD born 11-3-2004, DS born 1-18-2007.
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#20 of 23 Old 12-31-2006, 03:51 PM
 
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Nothing to be jealous of. I walked around 5cm for 3 weeks and went on to have a very hard 22 hour labor

Keri

 Keri wife and Mama to  Cory 17,  Brendan 15,  Kerianne 8,  Avery 7,  Lilia 3
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#21 of 23 Old 12-31-2006, 04:14 PM
 
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Don't be jealous ... it's mentally hard to walk around dialated for *weeks* on end. There's "advantages" to either one... the grass may seem greener and all that.
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#22 of 23 Old 12-31-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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I agree it can be harder to walk around knowing you're dilated because you think it means something. Especially if the doc makes a careless comment about going early and instead you're still pg on your duedate. I've known women who were actually as far as 7cm for weeks before they were finally induced. 1cm at 37 weeks means nothing about when she'll go into labor or how successful an induction on her duedate (if she's still pg then) would be.
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#23 of 23 Old 12-31-2006, 05:53 PM
 
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well I was 1 cm at 38 weeks and went to 42 weeks and had a c-sec anyway, so it doesnt mean a thing really.
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