X post with So beyond disgusted...
I did get an appt w a GYN in town, I lied about my situation to do so
. I went this morning. This guy didn't even take a standard history! And I only gave information regarding the current issue. I did like the man and he was compassionate. I will be going back at 2mo PP for another evaluation and was told since my situation was unique that I could call anytime and they would fit me in, if I needed anything -- NICE, super NICE. I've loathed doctors for so long, it is nice to have a few that I actually don't.
Anyway, there is not anything to be done at this point but to wait for the internal rectal area swelling to go down (which I didn't know was still going on), skin to continue to make contections, and blood flow to be reduced back to normal in the area. I gathered that currently the blood vessels are working over time to repair the damaged tissues and this would create problems in doing surgery now.
Once the healing that is going to happen, happens, which his time frame was 2 months, then we can talk reconstruction Plastic Surgery. I did ask who does that kind of work and he said he could do it at the out patient surgery center. We didn't talk details at this time which is fine b/c I realized that I have more healing to do yet and the final result of my healing will determine what needs to be done, if anything. He stated that since my bladder and bowel are functioning, I'm rather lucky (and he is right, I've read many mamas here who have bigger problems) and that surgery would be more likely an asthetic thing for me and possibly slightly on the function side with the perineum tissues.
He also explained that I might be content with the way things heal and decide that further surgery is not for me. He said it would depend on my dh and I and how we felt with regards to sex etc. He came out with me to the waiting room to see my "shooting bullet" baby, my mother was in the waiting area with my ds3.
I sort of felt after much reading that my situation would likely only be resolved with surgery later. My regret is that I didn't know that my mw should have stitched me to the surface layers. I would have asked her too and she would have, had I know to ask. I know other women can heal those layers, but for some reason my body isn't. As a mother of now 4 small children to care for, my mw should have realized that down time more than a week would be a huge pushing it.
The GYN stated that I should do no heavy lifting or moving for 2 months b/c that would strain the perineum area. That means no getting into the gym, no sit ups, literally still "legs together and resting" for 2 whole months! I'm blown away by the fact pushing my 3 youngest in a shopping cart is not 'recommended' for the next 6 weeks. I can't lift my other children into the cart or seat either or van or carseat (they are 4 and 2 and the 2 yr old can't get in her seat by herself). Again, I feel my mw did do me a diservice. I would have also liked a bit more hands on which might have avoided the explosive birth that resulted in this trauma to begin with.