I've just gotta vent a little about this - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-18-2007, 11:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
2+twins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: At NPT
Posts: 3,460
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think you'll all understand where I'm coming from so I'm going to take a minute to vent away here (please join in if you have a vent!). I love pregnancy and birth. I've had all my kids (four - all healthy, full-term babies), including a set of twins, safely at home. I've studied childbirth extensively, even teaching a couple of Bradley Method series before determining that I did not want to teach for them, and freely offer information to anyone I know who is expecting (books, dvds, internet links, and just plain answering questions). BUT, does *anyone* ever seem to give a crap about what I say? No. Does anyone give me any credit whatsoever for perhaps having a clue what I'm talking about? No. Do they even think that maybe - just maybe - after all these very successful pregnancies and births that I might just have a few tips to share? No. They all think I'm a loon (or so I gather - one of my friends simply says that she'd never consider homebirth b/c it's just too risky - ha!) or perhaps that I was just plain lucky with my births. I guess not having the Dr. title in front of my name makes me worthless in this arena.

Anyway, a week or so back, dh comes home from work and says, "Oh, you're gonna be so nuts when I tell you this." And he proceeds to tell me about his co-worker's wife, who is 37 weeks pg with their first child (co-worker's 2nd though). The baby is breech and the doctor says she has GD so she'll need a scheduled c-section b/c obviously there's no way to turn a baby at this point (much less give the baby a chance to be born breech) and it will be too darn big anyway - I mean, they've confirmed this with u/s (note dripping sarcasm here). To make it worse, dh's co-worker's wife has been testing her blood sugar 3x a day at home at the proper times and has never - not ONCE - had it test high! Only the doctor has been able to get a risk factor out of her. Interesting. Soooo, I vent away to dh (basically the first paragraph I wrote here) and say things like, "Why don't they try to turn the baby then? Try the Webster manuever, moxibustion, anything?" He says if I give him info he'll pass it along to them but really he doesn't think it will do any good b/c he says they know about me and my birth knowledge and if there's something they want to ask me about they would do it. I told him, "Mark my words - that baby will be 6 lbs!" and I base this purely on experience of hearing of other gigantic GD babies - they always seem to be so small!

Well, my dh was off for 4 days straight when he told me this and by the time he's back at work, the baby has been born. He comes home and says, "Here are some words you love to hear: You were right. The baby was born via c-section and it was 6 lbs." (on the dot!) {{{sigh}}} He wasn't able to give me any other details (there was just a note up at work with the baby's stats) so I don't know if the baby is doing alright or not. I worry since it was a bit on the early side and not from spontaneous labor from what I understand. I'm sure you all feel my pain here. Why do people refuse to be educated about these things??? Like my friend who claims that homebirth is too risky - she's so well researched on so many after-the-baby-is-born things, but just falls short on the stuff that I guess would fall under a "doctors" care. Why does it have to be like this???

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
2+twins is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-18-2007, 12:17 PM
 
Evergreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Where all the women are strong
Posts: 5,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know what you are feeling.

That poor mom and baby!

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

Evergreen is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 12:35 PM
 
guestmama9908's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,754
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
*Hugs*

I feel your pain as well. Most of my frustration comes from trying to educate people about breastfeeding though.

I just thought you might like to hear my Gestational Diabetes story. I became pregnant with my DS 2 and a half years ago. I had hyperemesis with my pregnancy and was constantly sick. I would throw up 24 hours a day for nine months. I eat an incredibly healthy organic diet and stay away from alot of sugar etc. I lost 30 pounds my first trimester. I ended up having to take Zofran to control my nausea. I had to or I would have ended up in the hospital on IV nutrition.


I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 24 weeks gestation. The OB I was seeing transferred that portion of my care to a home health agency that "manages" gestational diabetic mothers : . They come to your home once a week. They insist that you check your blood sugar 8 x per day and you have to call the results in to a nurse or they will call you and give you a hard time. They also put me on a 1000 calorie per day diet to prevent having a "HUGE" gestational diabetic baby.

I was starving! I was dizzy and lightheaded and knew I was not getting enough nutrition for myself or my baby. However, they had me convinced this was what I had to do for the sake of my child's health. (I hadn't found MDC yet at that time) I was also required to have weekly ultrasounds. At the ultrasound at my 30 week appt. the tech called in the OB. My placenta had completely calcified and was disintegrating. I was told this was due to my gestational diabetes. I was put on bed rest and had to do fetal kick counts for the remainder of my pregnancy. They also determined at this ultrasound that my DS was already 8 plus pounds.

I decided that since their diet was apparently doing nothing towards preventing a "HUGE" baby that I was going to go back to my normal diet. I continued to check my blood sugar while I ate my normal diet. I never once, NOT ONCE, had an abnormal blood sugar on my normal diet.

My DS was born at 39 weeks vaginally. He was 6 pounds and one ounce. The ultrasound the day before his birth estimated him to be around nine pounds. So much for their "HUGE" gestational diabetes baby.

This time around I was with a midwife. I failed the one hour GTT again. I told her I would manage my diabetes myself. She left me alone about it. I checked my blood sugars and stayed on my normal diet and once again NEVER had an abnormal blood sugar. My DD was born at 39 weeks and weighed in at 6 pounds 11 ounces.

Apparently I only have "abnormal" blood sugars when I am forced to drink a large amount of glucose at one time.
guestmama9908 is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 04:01 PM
 
cappuccinosmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: SW Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,447
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm really starting to feel that nobody (particularly caregivers) gives any credence to my intuition and knowledge about my *own* body, let alone anybody else's situation.

It seems no matter how healthy I am, how healthy my babies, how easy my births--there's always something they will find "wrong" and need to to "manage". :
cappuccinosmom is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 04:03 PM
 
guestmama9908's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,754
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post
I'm really starting to feel that nobody (particularly caregivers) gives any credence to my intuition and knowledge about my *own* body, let alone anybody else's situation.

It seems no matter how healthy I am, how healthy my babies, how easy my births--there's always something they will find "wrong" and need to to "manage". :

*Hugs*

That is unfortunately the case in America. Birth is no longer a natural process.....in the words of my nursing school "Birth and Pregnancy are disease processes that need to be managed." :

And that my friends is why I will never give birth in a hospital again.
guestmama9908 is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 04:19 PM
 
Evergreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Where all the women are strong
Posts: 5,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CalenandEllasmomma View Post
*
Apparently I only have "abnormal" blood sugars when I am forced to drink a large amount of glucose at one time.
Hey, imagine that!

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

Evergreen is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 04:30 PM
 
Jenlaana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've had to take myself completely out of the equasion. I've given up trying to educate people who are not interested in being educated. I tried so hard last pregnancy to explain everything to everyone and it just fell on deaf ears. Other than my wonderful DH, it was like talking to a brick wall.

My last pregnancy, I had NO unusual things for the first 2 trimesters. Bloodwork looked good, urine tests good, BP good, baby h/r and u/s looked good, etc. I was on schedule to have a VBAC. Then suddenly, because my birth records of 10 years prior was not available, they decided that I needed to schedule a cesarean. I was told so many times how risky birth was for me (even though prior to this lack o records they were 100% behind me attempting a TOL). I was also told that I could very likely kill my baby and my DH was asked if he was willing to "let me" kill his child. (this was by a nurse-midwife at our OB practice) I asked to meet with the doctor to discuss it. I brought in about 2 dozen studies from respectable sources stating the safety of a VBAC with unknown uterine scar, the probability that unknown would = "right type", etc and it was completely ignored. I was told that everything I wanted to do was going to risk killing my child and/or myself and that was the end of it. She wouldnt even look at the studies.

A girl in my office was pregnant, and was reading what to expect... I told her that I didnt like that so much because it wasnt realistic, and suggested a slew of books that would be a great alternative, and even offered to loan them to her. She gave me a "you're nuts" smile, and completely ignored even that small amount of advice.
Jenlaana is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
2+twins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: At NPT
Posts: 3,460
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenlaana View Post
I asked to meet with the doctor to discuss it. I brought in about 2 dozen studies from respectable sources stating the safety of a VBAC with unknown uterine scar, the probability that unknown would = "right type", etc and it was completely ignored. I was told that everything I wanted to do was going to risk killing my child and/or myself and that was the end of it. She wouldnt even look at the studies.
This just infuriates me! They're so damn high & mighty that they can't even read fact-based information! So what did you end up doing?

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
2+twins is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 05:09 PM
 
Jenlaana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Because I refused to have the scheduled cesarean, they threw me out of their practice (certified letter arrived ON my due date). I had no time to find another provider and no midwife could take me (midwives cannot do VBACs in SC). Once we started to get the idea that we were going to have problems with the OB (around 34 weeks) we threw outselves into researching other alternatives, and decided to have UC as a back up, incase things didnt go well with the OB. Obviously they didnt' and we planned to labor at home and give birth at the hospital (5 min from our home) or if we felt comfortable with it, just have our baby at home. In the end, we had a UC and it was wonderful.

I did, however, do an interview for a national webzine based on the experience, and I caused a bit of trouble for the OB as far as raising awareness about how terrible they were with local birth groups. (they falsely claimed to be natural birth friendly and even had a "midwives are great" pamphlet in their waiting room)

But after that whole ordeal, and the amount of grief I received (the day that I had the statistics study they called me at home and wanted me to go into the hospital "for tests" because my BP was high that day at their office - DUH - I was 36 wks so early enough to induce, and my DH and I both agreed that was probably the main reason behind their sending me in)
Jenlaana is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 05:32 PM
 
Kirsten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Washington state
Posts: 5,362
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, I hear you!!!! It is so infuriating. I've had three fabulous natural births - no IV, no heplock, no episiotomy, no drugs, no special monitoring. All three with midwives - first in hospital, second in freestanding birth center and third at home. I tell everyone what a great experience it was.

I can count on one hand the number of people who actually look into it after I talk to them.

I just can't understand it. The general public does the status quo at the hospital with an OB and has horror stories after. We have great natural births with midwives or UC and they what? think we're lying? I just don't understand why they wouldn't be trying to have a GOOD experience....

So sad.
Kirsten is offline  
Old 04-18-2007, 05:59 PM
 
Jenlaana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah. Even after our last birth going perfectly despite the doctors swearing we'd be dead before the baby hit the birth canal or whatever, my family is already starting in on the "birth is so dangerous" garbage.
Jenlaana is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 02:13 AM
 
babymakesthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
I can count on one hand the number of people who actually look into it after I talk to them.

I just can't understand it. The general public does the status quo at the hospital with an OB and has horror stories after. We have great natural births with midwives or UC and they what? think we're lying? I just don't understand why they wouldn't be trying to have a GOOD experience....

So sad.
:
I had a wonderful homebirth with an easy 12 hour labor 18 days past my EDD My DD was a healthy 8lbs, yet I am crazy for having done it.
I don't get it.

11/06 and 1/09 :
babymakesthree is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 09:16 AM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 15,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ick. Blah. :

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 11:40 AM
 
SublimeBirthGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Powder Springs, GA
Posts: 3,428
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Frustrating, isn't it? I used to teach Bradley too, and am teaching my own class soon, and I have had to learn to let it go so I don't go insane. I give people information if they want it (always shocked at how many people don't), but the choices are theirs to make. If they would listen to me they might have better experiences but I get no satisfaction from knowing that.

Laura, CBE and mom to Maddiewaterbirth.jpg ( 06/03/04) & Graceuc.jpg (  09/10/06)
 
SublimeBirthGirl is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 11:59 AM
 
JanB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 1,468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sometimes you just can't get through to people. My sister had preeclampsia in her first pregnancy that led to an induction at 38 weeks. She's now pregnant again and has GD on top of everything else (actually I think it's full blown diabetes but she's kind of in denial). I've talked until I'm blue in the face about good nutrition, sent her information on the Brewer Diet, talked about making sure to get a high protein intake, etc. And she nods and smiles, and then the next time I see her, laughs about how the previous week all she had for breakfast was Pop Tarts and Cocoa Puffs. Then she'll say things like, "Man, I hate getting headaches during pregnancy. I bet my blood pressure is too high again. I just know I'm going to wind up on bedrest." :

I give up.
JanB is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 01:51 PM
 
Full Heart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Surronded by Dairy Farms AZ
Posts: 3,603
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I read the first paragraph to dh and he had to laugh cause that is soooo me. I have complained to him a million times no one ever listens to me. Then they come see me after everything is said and done and they are having problems of some sort and then they want advice : .

Expecting #9.  Always busy hsing.
Full Heart is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 03:15 PM
 
3daughters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Land of milk and honey
Posts: 1,556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I totally know how you feel. I was just at a birth and gave the parents all sorts of information on why they shouldn't let the OB do an amniotomy. OB walks in and says that he wants to break moms water and they didn't even blink and let him go ahead and do it. Didn't I just tell them how much safer it was to leave the fluid where it was!?!?

Or how about my friend who loved Ina May's and Henci Goer's book and said how she was going Ina's comfort measures. She goes in for an induction at 42 weeks since she couldn't put herself through castor oil. They cervidil her and then give her a sleeping pill. She falls asleep and labor kicks in while she is sleeping so she starts moaning in her sleep. Her dh calls in a nurse who gives her a narcotic in her IV since she doesn't actually need moms consent to do it. When the narcotic wears off mom wakes up in pain and right away asks for the epidural. Ahem, I guess Ina May really didn't have any lasting effect.

The stories go on and on.
3daughters is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 05:18 PM
 
readytobedone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: not dissertating
Posts: 3,466
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
this is my first baby, so i can't consider myself an expert by any means.

but i can say that my "birth philosophy" has made it so that i can barely talk to my mainstream friends about pregnancy and birth; i feel like i have to guard what i'm thinking and doing so it won't be criticized and i won't have to hear all the negative crap. i've gone from knowing very little about natural CB, just being interested in it, to being completely convinced and committed and having a really hard time understanding people who aren't--like my friend who makes fun of me and constantly says if she ever has a baby she wants a c-section at 8 months before the stretch marks get bad. horrifying. this is a well-educated person, as is everyone i know who totally buys into the medical model. i don't get it at all!

and if one more person laughs when i say i plan not to have an epidural, i'm going to kick them. they all say, "everyone PLANS not to get one."

no, not everyone does, TYVM! i so hope i end up with the natural birth i am planning, in part so these naysayers will have to shut the hell up

dissertating wife of Boo, mama of one "mookie" lovin' 2 year old girl! intactlact:: CTA until 7/10 FF 1501dc
readytobedone is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 07:00 PM
 
skyblufig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: on the shores of Lake Michigan
Posts: 413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel your pain, my sister! When I was pg with ds1 I was totally open about our birth plans. So much so, that at the shower a few girlfriends threw me I went in to quite a bit of detail about the why's of what we had planned. One of my -ahem- friends said "Well, don't feel like you have to be a hero or something! Just get the epidural!" And that of course was the voice going through my head at 8cm. : When ds was about 6mo, this same "friend" asked about bfing -- not about the benefits to ds or wow! to me -- but how it was affecting my breasts! As in, "are they droopier?" When I told her they're great, tyvm, she said, "hmmm... well, I guess I'll bf for a little bit then. As long as my boobs aren't ruined." WTF?! My opinion is, if a little droop is that big of a deal to you, get a boob lift or wear a push-up bra. It just kills me though, that they kind of know where you're coming from, ask questions anyway, then totally dismiss what you tell them as "crazy" and do whatever their OB tells them to do. No critical thinking skills at all it would seem.

Jfly-by-nursing1.gif, partner-in-crime to Dfamilybed2.gif, mama to run.gif4, including our brand new rainbow1284.gifbaby.gifmissing my 7-wk-er

skyblufig is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 08:51 PM
 
sirref's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 34
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
UGH! Ditto everyone....

And I had to post to sayWTF- a c-section to avoid the stretch marks? Has this woman ever seen how big a c-section scar is? And no it isn't "generally hidden in your pubic hair" I forget where I read that... but I've never seen one that low.

Oh, and I have 1 good friend who had crummy advice with her first born, nursed maybe a week & gave up, and had 2 more kids on formula later. Her, I (who have nursed a good 5 years with my two kids so far) and another friend who had nursed 2 kids for 1 month-ish each (medication & other reasons both times) all recounted how the boobs have dropped no matter what. And my great aunt's went near her toes I swear- with no help from a pregnancy even. Get over it- there's no keeping 18-year-old boobs without surgery!
sirref is offline  
Old 04-19-2007, 08:54 PM
 
TulikaEma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am pregnant for the first time--and knew long before I convieved that I wanted a natural pregnancy and childbirth. This was partly because of reading I had already done, partly due to intuition, and mostly from bearing about natural birth and pregnancy (and attachemtn parenting, by the way)--from a friend who did the same. Everything she said matched my intuition, and my previous research. So, your wisdom does not always fall on deaf ears.

Initially our families were worried that we were inviting trouble by going for a natural birth--but luckily, my husband has been doing as much reaserch as I have, and between the two of us, we have been able to reassure our families. So, there is hope out there, even if most people think we're all nuts...
TulikaEma is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 01:31 AM
 
ckhagen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've almost given up completely on educating my married/TTC/have-children-already friends. They're already past the point of having decided they know everything they need to know and don't really give a rats hairy heiny what I have to say, no matter how much intense research and experience I have on the subject.

I do however have great success educating my single friends. They seem so much more open to and accepting of what advice I have to offer them. It's like they're still in the information gathering stages for that part of life and appreciate my experiences for what they truly are and can see why they would want to avoid what happened during my first birth.

I don't know why this is other than to think that the other friends don't want to admit that they aren't sure of what they want or aren't happy with how their births went.
ckhagen is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 02:55 AM
 
EmmaJean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,922
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
if you think it's bad for you, imagine being the DAD in these situations, telling everyone the facts and how things really work. My dh was in college when we had our first 2 kids, and was the only one of 2 guys in a class of 40-50. No matter what came out of his mouth, he was practically yelled at by everyone in the class, only a couple of whom had even had a baby! It drove him nuts. And now, he'll come up w/ these stories of how birth or breastfeeding came up at work (guys talk about this stuff too, yk!!) and how he just bites his tongue now, most of the time, and thinks, "Emily's gonna loooove this one!" Good times.....

I think birth and the fear surrounding it, our beliefs, etc, are so deep in our minds, that some people just can't let anything else sink in. Or they take your positive experience as a personal attack b/c they didn't have a positive birth experience. Am I making any sense??? It's late....
EmmaJean is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 03:31 AM
 
angelcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,462
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it's really condescending to talk about "eduacating" poeple, and that if they don't agree with you, they must be uneducated. Not even close to true. And someone may have reasons they don't want to get into for what they do, that they don't share with you.

The person who you think scheduled a c-section for convenience may have herpes that they don't want people to know about. The person who doesn't even try to nurse could have HIV.

And I would NOT take book recomendations form someone who put down my book choice to start with.

I should leave this site. Sure there are NFL stuff I am interested in, but I just can't hack the judgmental people here.
angelcat is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 03:58 AM
 
maygee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelcat View Post
I think it's really condescending to talk about "eduacating" poeple, and that if they don't agree with you, they must be uneducated. Not even close to true. And someone may have reasons they don't want to get into for what they do, that they don't share with you.

The person who you think scheduled a c-section for convenience may have herpes that they don't want people to know about. The person who doesn't even try to nurse could have HIV.

And I would NOT take book recomendations form someone who put down my book choice to start with.

I should leave this site. Sure there are NFL stuff I am interested in, but I just can't hack the judgmental people here.
I feel ya. :
maygee is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 05:08 AM
 
ericswifey27's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 2,601
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelcat View Post
I think it's really condescending to talk about "eduacating" poeple, and that if they don't agree with you, they must be uneducated. Not even close to true. And someone may have reasons they don't want to get into for what they do, that they don't share with you.

The person who you think scheduled a c-section for convenience may have herpes that they don't want people to know about. The person who doesn't even try to nurse could have HIV.

And I would NOT take book recomendations form someone who put down my book choice to start with.

I should leave this site. Sure there are NFL stuff I am interested in, but I just can't hack the judgmental people here.

But it is "educating". And there is no way around that.

I wish someone had worried less about hurting my feelings and had instead been more honest about the reality of birthing today. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to listen at the time.

This thread is not about someone scheduling a csection because they have herpes (which by the way, does not automatically mean you have to resign yourself to having a csection). It is about the current birthing climate and how more and more women are so willing to listen to myth and scaremongering over evidence based reality. Many women have been brainwashed into believing their bodies no longer work they way they were intended to and that interventions are completely harmless and it just AIN'T TRUE!

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
ericswifey27 is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 05:50 AM
 
angelcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,462
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericswifey27 View Post
But it is "educating". And there is no way around that.

I wish someone had worried less about hurting my feelings and had instead been more honest about the reality of birthing today. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to listen at the time.

This thread is not about someone scheduling a csection because they have herpes (which by the way, does not automatically mean you have to resign yourself to having a csection). It is about the current birthing climate and how more and more women are so willing to listen to myth and scaremongering over evidence based reality. Many women have been brainwashed into believing their bodies no longer work they way they were intended to and that interventions are completely harmless and it just AIN'T TRUE!
See, there's the condescending thing again. First of all, the herpes thing wasn't about me, and 2nd of all, I meant if someone was having an outbreak when they went into labour. But you had to assume I didn't know what I was talking about & talk down to me.

It's late, and I"m pms'ing, so not the best time for me to be posting here, but yeah, I hate hate hate how judgmental people here can be. Obviously not everyone, or I'd have left long ago.
angelcat is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 10:33 AM
 
Kitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 786
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This thread is meant to be a vent. See thread title "I've just gotta vent a little about this." You can't say you weren't warned. It was put right out there for you. If you don't want to be offended by someone's vent then don't read their vent, LOL.

This is a general vent about mainstream childbirth practices. If we can't come to the childbirth board at an alternative parenting site to vent about mainstream birth, where can we go?

If you don't want to see critiques of mainstream birth then just stick to the mainstream parenting boards where no one will ever question scheduled c-sections or routine epidurals.
Kitten is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 10:55 AM
 
Jenlaana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelcat View Post
And I would NOT take book recomendations form someone who put down my book choice to start with.
FIRST off, I did not discuss the ENTIRE conversation with the person in question. She just found out she was pregnant when I was quite far along, and we were the only two women working in our office. She was asking me questions up down and sideways until she realized I was not "mainstream". She told me she was reading "what to expect" and asked me what I thought of it, and if I had read it. (I would never give my opinion to someone who wasn't asking... I am not social enough to "put it out there" as it were) The second I suggested that there were better, more natural books out there, and she might want to see another point of view, she closed up about it. Then she asked me, the next day or two, what hospital I was having the baby at, and when I told her I didn't know because I was having trouble with the OB and not able to find one that would allow me to VBAC, and may be considering a home birth, she froze and didnt want to discuss it with me. Looking back, I think she was just terrified of the pain and the hospital and the surgery and the "dangerous pregnancy" awaiting her, and had heard for too long about how it should be, to be open to anything outside of that norm.

I think, perhaps, that you are being judgemental~
Jenlaana is offline  
Old 04-20-2007, 11:29 AM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericswifey27 View Post
But it is "educating". And there is no way around that.

I wish someone had worried less about hurting my feelings and had instead been more honest about the reality of birthing today. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to listen at the time.

This thread is not about someone scheduling a csection because they have herpes (which by the way, does not automatically mean you have to resign yourself to having a csection). It is about the current birthing climate and how more and more women are so willing to listen to myth and scaremongering over evidence based reality. Many women have been brainwashed into believing their bodies no longer work they way they were intended to and that interventions are completely harmless and it just AIN'T TRUE!
Yep. I have had people who thanked me for educating them, helping them avoid unnecessary c/s, etc.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off