There's just no way I can deliver naturally! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 50 Old 05-25-2007, 01:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GathererGirl View Post
(I'll be going to midwife but will birth in a hospital, husband mightnot even be there, I don't have a mother or sister, we can't afford a doula...so it'll just be me, panting and groaning alone) I do worry about how I'll do.

You may be able to find a doula in training who needs to attend births for her certification - for free. It's worth investigating!
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#32 of 50 Old 05-25-2007, 03:13 PM
 
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I used to have really bad period pain, and actually, the labor pains I had between about 4 and 5 cm were about like my period cramps. But then the back labor kicked in, which was nothing like period cramps, so I can't compare. But really, try not to worry about it too much. Some women get light cramps and can't understand why us other women are complaining, and the women with bad cramps are thinking they must be wimps. I don't think it really has much to do with how well you'll manage the pain of labor. For one thing, period cramps are much more annoying because they are POINTLESS! Labor pains are actually productive and you know with each one you are closer.
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#33 of 50 Old 05-25-2007, 04:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bandgeek View Post
But then the back labor kicked in, which was nothing like period cramps, so I can't compare.
Interesting...Almost all of my crampiness (is that a word?) with AF is in my back. Back labor felt very familiar to me.

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Originally Posted by bandgeek View Post
Labor pains are actually productive and you know with each one you are closer.
My sister told me this, too. I really didn't feel that way until I was actually pushing and could feel DD's head moving down. Then again, I was a little overwhelmed dealing with the Pitocin-induced contractions which didn't feel at all like the nice bell curve I'd been told to expect.

Amy

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
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#34 of 50 Old 05-25-2007, 04:18 PM
 
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Considering that contractions come and go, and are painful only for 40-60 seconds at a time and menstrual cramps are constant - not to mention there is no endorphin rush with AF or even a reward of a baby...

I am a big wuss with AF. I have to take mega doses of Aleve just to ward off vomiting and diarrhea.

To me, the risks of going without drugs are far less than going with.

To compare AF and labor is hard. There are so many variables involved. I also know that laboring in your own home, with people who care about you and believe in you, is going to take you farther than all the drugs in the world lying flat on your back in an institution of fear.
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#35 of 50 Old 05-25-2007, 05:39 PM
 
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I also know that laboring in your own home, with people who care about you and believe in you, is going to take you farther than all the drugs in the world lying flat on your back in an institution of fear.
and IME, I totally, totally agree


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#36 of 50 Old 05-25-2007, 05:52 PM
 
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As for support during childbirth, a good midwife may be all you need. Many women go in thinkin gthey need an army, and most end up wishing it had been more private. You need to look inside yourself.

And I would bet you can find a doula that does volunteer births, or is doing fee free births during training, or will work according to your income. Dont discount any options just yet. If you think positive and continue your research with an open mind, it will all work out for the best!

Lisa~Was Aspiring Midwife~Now-AAMI Midwifery Student #2020~Mama to Zackery 3/29/96, Drake 9/22/01, and Selina 10/26/03...and here was the link to my new blog
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#37 of 50 Old 05-26-2007, 12:11 AM
 
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My doula charged me $250, because I'm a single mom. It seems like a lot now, but just think, if you put away $5/week for the next year, you'll have enough!

Plus, like others suggested, you can try to find a doula-in-training. That will be me next year, and I really hope I can help someone like you!

My period cramps were KILLER. I was a complete write-off for the first day of every period. Vomiting, almost passing out, lying on the bathroom floor praying for God to take either my pain or my life....all that good stuff.

But, the BIG difference with contractions, is that the pain only lasts a minute or so! After that minute, I felt like I could FLY! I remember joking to my doula, as we were walking the halls, that I felt soooooo good in between that I wanted to sprint down the hall! lol

I had painful contractions for 49 hours without medication. The last 7 hours of that were oxytocin-induced, which were even worse than period cramps. But, I still did it! Finally, I did get an epidural because I needed SLEEP, but I did really well handling the pain.

Keep practicing your techniques, and maybe look into Hypnobirthing, too! I can't wait to try that next time!

Good luck TTC'ing!

Mom to two amazing boys, C (July 2005) and D (May 2010)

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#38 of 50 Old 05-26-2007, 12:27 AM
 
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I might have some good news for you. I used to have horrific period pains and I thought I'd never be able to tolerate labor, but it was a lot different (like others have said) and I do think my worst period was WAY WORSE than any one of my three natural labors.

Plus - and this is the good part - after my son was born, I never had a really bad period again. The first postpartum period can be rough, but it was still nowhere near how bad my cramps used to be. I have talked to other women who have said the same thing...birth cured their PMS.

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#39 of 50 Old 05-26-2007, 12:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by eviesingleton View Post
Then I thought of it this way. What if I didn't have to go to work/clean the house/study/work on my thesis/etc. and I could sit in bed and drink refreshing beverages and eat fruit and visualize getting rid of the cramps? Would they be so bad then?
I've had that "luxury" for years. They're that bad.

And a bucket of uterine lining is nowhere near as precious as a baby. Hard to keep positive, even with sacred moon blood mantras. :

Chasing DS since April 2007 and pumping for DD March 2013.

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#40 of 50 Old 05-26-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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My pain was almost all in my back, if that makes a difference.

Thanks for the encouragement ladies! I'm feeling much better today, completely back to normal period crabbiness and nothing more. I know that it's my fear talking, and that I'll at least try o go natural, but since I will have almost no support (I'll be going to midwife but will birth in a hospital, husband mightnot even be there, I don't have a mother or sister, we can't afford a doula...so it'll just be me, panting and groaning alone) I do worry about how I'll do.

It was awhile ago, but I think it was in my stomach and back, I was doubled over on the toilet from the pain. So not sure if that info helps or not.

As for the doula issue, it is one of my deepest regrets I didn't have one. It was our first baby, my husband was exhausted from working the night shift and sick with a cold, sleeping in the corner. And clueless like me, so not a big help. I went in to the hospital thinking that because I wanted a natural birth I was going to get one. I was not prepared. Doulas have been shown to reduce labor time and likelihood of a csection, so seriously, whatever you can do to save up money to get one, I would very much recommend it. Also, as other posters mentioned, you could look in to getting a volunteer doula who needs some training and is willing to work with you free or really cheap. And if it's not in your budget, ask the local midwifes...they may be able to find someone to help you free or low cost.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#41 of 50 Old 05-26-2007, 02:42 AM
 
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And don't forget about the endorphins afterwards! Having interventions like pitocin and an epidural interferes with the natural release of chemicals that help you get through labor naturally. After DD was born I was totally HIGH on endorphins, no joke! I felt incredibly powerful. Birthing a baby with your own strength and surrender is the most empowering thing I can imagine.

You can totally do it. You just have to reprogram your mind to get rid of all the negative images that are spewed forth about birth--from TV shows, your friends, your family, whatever. Start reading books about natural childbirth and the dangers of a medically managed birth and you will think differently about the whole thing. In the end I was much more afraid of a needle in my spinal cord than the pain of labor, and I ended up with back labor and a posterior baby, so it was more than "discomfort" or "pressure" for sure!
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#42 of 50 Old 05-26-2007, 11:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by notjustmamie View Post
Interesting...Almost all of my crampiness (is that a word?) with AF is in my back. Back labor felt very familiar to me.



My sister told me this, too. I really didn't feel that way until I was actually pushing and could feel DD's head moving down. Then again, I was a little overwhelmed dealing with the Pitocin-induced contractions which didn't feel at all like the nice bell curve I'd been told to expect.

Amy
Me too, and I had "back labor" both times. First time, I felt NOTHING across my abdomen. Midwife kept commenting, "Oh, you're having a contraction," and then I"d feel the wave of tightening across my back with a tight stabbing cramp in the middle of it and say "Oh, yeah, I guess I am."

Second time I could feel things in my abdomen, but it was still predominanly a back thing. I think I just am wired that way??

savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

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#43 of 50 Old 05-26-2007, 11:56 PM
 
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Just out of curiosity, why wouldn't your husband be present?

Granted I didn't need DF there to do anything, but it was nice knowing someone was there in case I got in a fight with the hospital staff.

I had a labor support person as well, and she was invaluable even though I didn't necessarily need her there to do anything either. It was just good to feel supported in such a scary environment.

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#44 of 50 Old 05-27-2007, 12:33 AM
 
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Now that I'm thinking about it, labor was much more doable than my bad periods.

I birthed at home, unassisted, and I think that has a lot to do with what labor feels like. Hey, when you can move around as you like, when no one's watching you or bothering you, labor is lots easier!

Physiologically, labor produces HUGE amounds of endorphins (provided, of course, you don't have drugs or aren't stressed/fearful--those things inhibit the release of endorphins). I felt more and more high as my labor progressed. Kind of a loopy, dizzy, buzzed sensation. I don't think our bodies produce endorphins during our periods, so it's just the pain and discomfort with nothing to compensate for it.
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#45 of 50 Old 05-27-2007, 02:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#46 of 50 Old 05-27-2007, 02:45 AM
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You can do it naturally! I believe in you!

As for a doula, I wouldn't want to have a baby without one. I know that our doula did sliding scale work, can you just look into finding one when the time comes? Also, I found Ina May's Guide to Childbirth to be very inspirational. I also took prenatal yoga from Collette Crawford who has a wonderful DVD. She helped my find my tough inner self.

My labor was painful but it was also relatively short and really, I wouldn't have it any other way. There is no way I could have had DD as easily had I been given drugs and I think in a lot of ways it was worse. I didn't lie down for the entire labor including pushing. All the feelings were amazing. Not to lie, it was hard work but soooo worth it.

Besides, now when DH complains I can tell him to stop whining, I had a 9.5 lb baby without drugs.

ETA: One thing that actually helped me when I was scared during pregnancy was remembering that the baby was coming out one way or another. I knew it would hurt but I wanted to control the pain and I thought being a passive recipient would hurt much worse. YMMV of course.
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#47 of 50 Old 05-27-2007, 07:56 PM
 
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Check out bellywomen.net for a free or lowcost doula in your area. You can also call the ALACE office and they can refer someone to you who has done the training but isn't certified yet. Also contact a doula in the area, sometimes if they don't take on clients on a sliding scale, they can refer you to someone who does.

Also, for you and your DP, maybe look into HypnoBirthing? That way nerves and dealing with pain may not even be an issue. It benefits the partner just as much as the laboring mama, IMO.

Mama to A born 8/7/99
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#48 of 50 Old 05-27-2007, 10:31 PM
 
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Yuh. I had periods so bad that demerol didn't touch them. Not even a little. The only thing that actually ever made one of my bad periods better was Nubain, and then I promptly had an aniphylactic reaction to it. Nice.

Then, I started reading about natural birth because I had a spinal tap go bad and could not, for the LIFE of me, imagine taking care of a newborn with the spinal headache that I had from that tap for TWO WEEKS. It was two weeks flat on my back or the worse kind of gut wrenching, vomit inducing, brain sqeezing pain I have ever experienced! I then read about narcotics (knowing that demerol didn't help and nubain was a no-go) and about how they use narcan to make your baby awake if you've had narcotics and it's born too soon (they give Narcan to Heroin addicts in the ER when they've overdosed and are going to DIE, to reverse the effects of HEROIN)...I didn't like how that sounded, either.

SO I read a bunch and then found a midwife and then, when I got pregnant, I took a hypnobirthing class. My labors were really, very, very, VERY tolerable. Really, nothing like the periods of yore. With hormones to keep you going and to focus on relaxing through, it's very different, as pp's have said.

And, as a doula, I heartily agree that you will almost surely be able to find one who will work low cost or free, and I ALSO really strongly suggest that you start putting a few bucks a week into a "doula" fund, to give yourself the support you deserve as a laboring woman.

You'll do great.

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

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#49 of 50 Old 05-28-2007, 09:32 PM
 
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My pain was almost all in my back, if that makes a difference.

Thanks for the encouragement ladies! I'm feeling much better today, completely back to normal period crabbiness and nothing more. I know that it's my fear talking, and that I'll at least try o go natural, but since I will have almost no support (I'll be going to midwife but will birth in a hospital, husband mightnot even be there, I don't have a mother or sister, we can't afford a doula...so it'll just be me, panting and groaning alone) I do worry about how I'll do.
I'm really good at finding people, and there are in-training Doulas. They usually don't charge. Email me if you want my help, and I can give you my number.

Mama to Hailey Rose '02 Pro- crunchy
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#50 of 50 Old 05-30-2007, 01:25 AM
 
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I agree with everyone who says it's completely different, and you can do it! Every month when AF arrives I wonder to myself, as I'm popping ibuprofen, how on earth did I get through three unmedicated births? Period pain is just constant, no good pain. Labor is a job that you do, and if you surround yourself with people who can help you, you can get through it and yes, even enjoy it.
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