how much time off did you & SO take when baby was born? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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After my c-section when my son was born I never went back to work.

I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what my DH took off. Its sort of blury because my FIL died one week before my DS was born so some of my husband's time was considered bereavement (sp?). Plus he works nights and weekends from home which earns him compensation time so while he didn't go into the office I do think he did some odds and ends here and there.

All total, I know he was out of work for one week before DS was born. Then I think he had at least two weeks vacation time he used. Then there were a few comp days. Plus Thanksgiving fell in there. Then they let him work from home for at least a few days, maybe a week. So I want to say that he was at home at least three weeks after our DS was born.

I'm still sort of vague as to what the plan is this time. It gets so blurry because now he is an official part-time work from home person. But he does have vacation time he is taking so he'll be completely OFF work for a while. A week? Two at most! I don't know...

What ever it is I know it won't be enough!

I PRAY TO GOD I get my unmedicated VBAC because I can't imagine taking care of a toddler and a newborn and recovering from surgery.
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#32 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 05:10 PM
 
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I took off all of my FMLA 12 weeks and feel like I needed every day of that time. We had always been planning for my dh to quit work and be a sahd. He stopped working a couple weeks before dd was born and he was pretty much primary care-giver (except for nursing) right from the beginning which made both my time at home and the transition to going back to work much easier. Him being a sahd is also what allowed me to keep nursing dd after returning to work. At first dh would bring dd out to my work in the middle of the afternoon so I could nurse!

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#33 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 06:46 PM
 
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dd1- she was an unexpected c/s and DH was a grad student at the time. I took the 12 weeks of unpaid leave offered by my employer, he took 2 weeks off and then went to the lab half time for another 2 weeks.

dd2- my vbac babe, DH now works full time in an academic affiliated bio-tech lab. I am taking the full 16 weeks of unpaid leave available to me while DH took all his vacation days... he took friday (the day she was born), then the next week off and a second week at half time.

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#34 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 07:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
It is still better than the big fat zero one gets in the U.S.
Not for us, it isn't.

4 kids under 10
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#35 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 07:44 PM
 
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sanguine_speed, how exactly does it work in Canada? Can you give a brief explanation?

I would love for dh to get paid time off. He's taking his 2w by using all of his vacation time for this year.

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#36 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 07:47 PM
 
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I explained it in post24 Yumadoula.

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#37 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 07:50 PM
 
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I PRAY TO GOD I get my unmedicated VBAC because I can't imagine taking care of a toddler and a newborn and recovering from surgery.
I hope you get your VBAC as well, but don't stress yourself out over the thought of recovery and caring for a toddler and newborn! Women are amazing creatures...we do what we have to do.

I had a c/s and took care of twin 13 month olds and a newborn while DH worked 100+ hours per week. After my last c/s, I took care of twin 5 year olds, a 4 year old, and a newborn by myself. If there aren't any other options, you do what you have to do. If you truly are not physically capable of handling things, you figure out a way to get things done somehow.
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#38 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 07:56 PM
 
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First time, dh took 3 weeks, this time around, he will be taking a full month.

financially, it's a catastrophe, but the time together, having the help for me, is priceless, so we'll be taking out loans if we need to.

I had planned a 12 week maternity leave, but decided i couldnt go back full time, so i was let go. At about 4 months pp, i took a PT job.
This time around, I'm working PT and if they'll let me, I'll take 12 weeks off and then return PT.

CPST
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#39 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 08:12 PM
 
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DH went back to work the last day I was in the hospital. We couldn't afford time off. now we have a bit more of a cushion so he is taking bits off here and there. I took care of nb triplets while recovering from a c/s by myself. It is hard, but you can do it.

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#40 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 08:14 PM
 
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DP was off for the labor and the next day when we came home from the hospital. But had to go to work the very next day for 12 hours on a Saturday to try and catch up. This is when he worked for his dad. : He has since left his dad and works for a much better company. Here in CA we have paid family leave and he will be taking two weeks minimum with this baby, due any day now.
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#41 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 08:34 PM
 
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Wow! DH took one week (5 business days) off with our first 10 1/2 years ago. Our second and third were born at lunch on a Saturday and a Friday evening so by missing two days work each he still had an okay time off. Since then he's officially taken two days off for each birth *but* he ends up making at least one site visit for a client and working the phones 1/2 day both days. On one hand it's annoying that he's a workaholic that's incapable of relaxing and having meaningful time bonding with his family *but* his antsy-ness can be so grating that it's worth being on my own, homeschooling six children with a newborn and running the house just to get him out of my hair. If he's not working on some deals he just paces and snaps like a caged wild animal.

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#42 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 09:06 PM
 
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My husband was home with us for 6 weeks. He took FMLA from his job, so it was unpaid leave, but I can't imagine not doing that. We likely won't be as lucky this time -- he's new in his job and won't be able to take FMLA but he's going to try to arrange at least a couple of weeks, and then some part-time or flex-time after that. I'm going to have to rely much more on my mother, who is retired and can come and help, and other friends and relatives than I did last time. Which kinda sucks, because with a 2 year old who will also need love and attention and chasing I really will NEED a lot more help to allow me to stay on my arse in bed, you know?

Spending all of my money and time on this wild, wild life.
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#43 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 09:29 PM
 
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DH took off 2 weeks when DD2 was born. I would of loved more but it was not possible since he is the boss.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#44 of 53 Old 08-13-2007, 10:02 PM
 
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This thread is making me realize how lucky I am. DH is a WAHD, so he arranged his work so that he wouldn't need to do much for a while and what needed to be done could happen during the countless hours I was nursing or sleeping with dd and didn't actively need him at that time. He was amazing--taking care of me and everything around he house so I could hole up in the bedroom for weeks on end. He gradually eased into taking on more work and didn't go on any business trips of at least a few months. I am a teacher, so I started my leave a month before dd was born (spring vacation was a logical cut-off point) and was off the rest of the year. I went to part-time that fall, after 5 months at home.
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#45 of 53 Old 08-14-2007, 09:25 AM
 
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Wow, I admire you momma's who were able to take care of so much after your c/s's. My recovery with my first was a PURE NIGHTMARE! I had massive back pain for three months and I was physically unable to get up out of bed or out of a chair for 6 weeks on my own. I could not bathe myself, it was all I could do to feed myself. The pain medications made me puke and gave me massive headaches and didn't even TOUCH the pain! I ended up in physical therapy.

It took three months before I was able to function to some level of normalcy. It was at this point I was able to walk across a parking lot without stopping to rest and sit at least once. It took six months before I could resume all normal activities.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday, my husband's birthday.... I really couldn't participate at all!

I know my experience is not typical but I have no reason to believe it wouldn't happen again. I could not take care of my toddler if I was in this shape.
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#46 of 53 Old 08-14-2007, 09:44 AM
 
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DH took off one month for paternity. I was working from home but quit that after four months. DH doesn't make that much but we'll manage.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#47 of 53 Old 08-14-2007, 02:50 PM
 
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First baby, DH took off 5 days, and I had 5 weeks . I really felt screwed in the maternity leave department but I had to go back to work because we were broke. It devastated me to leave her so early. For the second kid, I was sure it would be more of the same, but things worked out so much better this time: My leave started the day I gave birth, and I will be going back to work next week (14 weeks! I feel so grateful for this), and DH took off 10 days, but then had vacation time to use so he took off another 5 the following week.

I actually feel like I got a babymoon this time!
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#48 of 53 Old 08-14-2007, 07:32 PM
 
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My DH is a family practitioner. When our first was born, DH was in residency, and managed to get 4 weeks paid off. 2 weeks of that was technically a "home study" rotation where he had to prepare a presentation. It worked out well. He started his 4 weeks on a Monday, and I promptly went into labor and delivered on Wednesday However, during the second week he was home, he got an unexpected opportunity to moonlight at another local clinic. We desperately needed the money at the time, so it was actually quite a blessing. He did that part time, and was home part time. It was probably good for me to "work into" being a full-time SAHM. (I quit my job 3 weeks before DS was born).

With #2, he took a week off. DD was born at 39w5d, but looked and acted like a 37 weeker. She had major breastfeeding problems and then got severe, scary jaundice and was admitted to the hospital. DH ended up taking some extra days/half-days due to all that. Fortunately, both my parents and my ILs (who are wonderful, helpful people) live very close and they pitched and helped us a lot, especially with DS.

We're TTC #3 at the moment, and I'm not sure what we'll do. DH is the sole physician in a very busy county clinic, and that makes it difficult for him to just take vacation. He does have a PA and an NP, but he'll probably still answer some calls from the clinic, go in and sign some prescriptions (he's the only one who can Rx narcotics), etc. He also covers the local jail and juvenile detention centers, and will probably have to answer pages from them. I'm just praying that they recruit another physician before then!

Jen

Wife to a great DH, SAHM to 3 great kids
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#49 of 53 Old 08-14-2007, 11:56 PM
 
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Dh had two weeks of available vacation time when dd was born. He had arranged to take one week starting when I was admitted to the hospital. We ended up being in the hospital for 6 days, unfortunately, so he went back to work the day after we came home. My mom stayed for the next two weeks to help.

I'm a teacher and with a baby due April 9 had intended to take off the rest of the school year. I went on bedrest in February, though, and dd was born at 36 weeks, so I ended up with 4 weeks after she was born that were paid. I took another 4 weeks of FMLA time, and then went back for the last two weeks of the year because we couldn't afford any more unpaid time. DH took his second week of vacation one of those weeks, and my mom came for the other. Then I was home until August. I actually frequently forget that I went back to work for those two weeks, because they were such a sleep-deprived haze.
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#50 of 53 Old 08-15-2007, 04:34 AM
 
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i havent read the wholethread yet.

with our first baby his work were really snott. he took off the day the baby was born(a monday) but had to be back the next and they REFUSED to let him have an hour off to come see me in the afternoon then made him go back to work after picking me up from hospital. then they refused him any time offso he came to an agreement that he would take half days monday ad friday so he could have a long weekends at home for a few months. by then end of fisrt week he was then told he was going to be made redundant anyway and cos of some health problems he ended up signed off sick for the remainder of the time he was supposed to work.

with the 2nd child he was not working(off sick for different reasons to above) and he was here the whole time which was not a good thing. i uit BF at10 weeks cos i was too damn lazy and cos DH was here i kept handing off to him all the time jsut so i could be alone(start of PPD) when baby was 14 weeks old i discovered i was pregnant again!!!. it was a slap in the face for us all as we realised there was no way we could raise 3 kids on sickness benefits so DH started job hunting and had a job by time DD was 6 month old.

when i had DS2he had not been working long enogyht to get PAID paternity leave so he took uppaid time off and a weeks holiday. someone at his work messed up an he DID get paid for it but it was takd back later on but as he had been back at work then it didnt matter as his bonus covered it so it all worked out very well. also with him being at work 2pm-10pm i jsut could not be bothered faffing about making bottles etc i BF DS2 for 14 months.

with this one he gets 2 weeks paid leave. paid at his norml pay fo 1st week then only £100for teh 2nd when he normly earns £185-£200 but hey ho we will manage.

he was going o take a weeks hoiday too but he got sick in Janurary and used all his sick time then had a nasty accident falling off his bycicle and damaged his sholder adn could not take sick time so he used holidays to recover so he has no holidays left for rest of year so i only get 2 weeks then have to be back to normal then wheather i want to or not.

my mum is coming thefirst week and taking my two older ones to a caravan over night and then taking DS to school so i can have a little bit of a break and get used to new baby, then i have a week of all 4 kids and DH to help then but at the end of the 2 weeks my DH has off i am on my own.

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#51 of 53 Old 08-15-2007, 04:48 AM
 
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Dh took one week because it was all we could afford. There were a few times I needed him to come home to help after that. We both wished it were longer (one month minimum). Between caring for 21 mos. dd during the days and nursing nb dd throughout the nights, I was exhausted. I almost mistook sleep deprivation for ppd. My dh didn't get a break either - he was up throughout the night with our older dd who was dealing with the big sis transition.

If we have another child, I hope the whole family will have the opportunity to slow down and let ourselves focus on our home. Ideal would be the first six months, but in our situation that probably won't become reality.

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#52 of 53 Old 08-15-2007, 11:51 AM
 
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This is our first baby. DH took two weeks, he used FMLA, but also used some of his vacation so we would have some money.

I go back to work on the 27th. DS will be 11 weeks. I was also off for three weeks before his birth b/c I was on bedrest for pre-ecclampsia.

Everyone I know seems shocked about the amount of time I took off. Most people around here take six weeks max. I'm broke but I am so glad for the time I did get to stay home, I'm dreading going back to work.

Jackie, Catholic mama to Elijah (6/07) & Gabriel (2/10) and our angel baby, m/c 7/29/12. Expecting someone new in October 2014!
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#53 of 53 Old 08-15-2007, 03:01 PM
 
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My employer is giving me 2 weeks off, but I get to take the baby to work with me when I go back (I am a nanny). And my husband does not get any time off. He will call in the day I am actually having the baby, but we can not afford for him to miss more than that one day. We are both working college studens and he delivers pizza, so no paid time off.

-T, Wife and Best Friend to R 3/2005; Mommie to E 8/2007; and G 3/2009

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