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#61 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 04:54 PM
 
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I won't say that I agree/disagree with the general statement that women forget the pain...but I can say that it was true for ME, for my two unmedicated births.

There was a moment, just seconds after my first son was born, when the thought popped into my head that I could absolutely not remember what a pushing contraction felt like. I thought it was strange, and I also thought it was strange that I was having that thought! I mean, intellectually, I knew, but I had no physical/emotional memory of that sensation. My memories of that whole labor, which was long and hard, are really fuzzy. Nicely so. Now, I *do* remember the fear surrounding his birth - I had a long pushing stage and after 3 hours my MW called in the OB, who was a total biotch who wanted to go straight to c/section and created this horrible atmosphere of fear. THAT I remember clearly, and it was traumatic. But the contractions, no.

When I went into labor with DS2 I had a moment of recognition, like "oh, yeah, this is what it feels like". Again, as soon as he was out, the memory of the contractions was gone. We're talking mere seconds after his birth. And after that birth, I had an endorphin high that lasted for hours.

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#62 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 05:05 PM
 
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I did not even start to forget the pain of my son's birth until a month ago, and he just turned 2. I did have a traumatic experience, and was just so disappointed with how it went. I went to talk to a counselor, and it really helped. The thing that helped most was her telling me that its okay to not be "over it." And that there is no right amount of time that people are supposed to take to heal from the experience. I also realized that all births are different. Some people have easy, fast induced labors. Some people have very difficult natural births. Some people have births that are fast and appear easy but still traumatize the mother. Everyone's experiences are different. But it took 2 years for me to emotionally heal to the point that I don't exactly remember it anymore. But it used to really frustrate me when people said, "oh, you'll forget and do it again." Recently I was finally able to put my feelings about this into words. When people say that, its like if someone said to someone who has just been raped: "oh, you'll forget, and then you'll walk in dark alleys again."

***Just for the record, I don't mean to compare rape to childbirth, it's just an example of something that can also traumatize women. I also in no way think that women only get raped in dark alleys. Its just a comparison of how inappropriate those comments can be to someone who is healing.
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#63 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 05:55 PM
 
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I remember the pain very, very well. I also can't WAIT to do it again!

I made it through 54 hours of labour (49 before getting an epidural for exhaustion), to birth my perfect little boy from my body, what could be more inspiring?

I know SO much more about birth now, and I feel quite confident that my future births will be much shorter, much less painful, and much more peaceful. But, I would gladly go through another 54-hour induction to bring another child into the world. No problem!

Mom to two amazing boys, C (July 2005) and D (May 2010)

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#64 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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A good friend who birthed naturally said that you don't so much forget the pain as you can't describe the pain. I'm pregnant with my first, so it remains to be seen...
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#65 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 08:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kerrie View Post
My last baby was born just over 2 years ago and I'm having to really concentrate to even kind of remember how much it hurt. I *know* it really hurt but it's more of a memory that I have to work hard to remember than something that I can feel.
This pretty much sums it up for me, except substitute 2 months for 2 years.

I remember the labor process as being very intense--excruciating at times--but cannot seem to re-create in my mind now the pain and sensations that I felt then. This "forgetting" started to happen several days after the birth.
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#66 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 08:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by hubris View Post
I won't say that I agree/disagree with the general statement that women forget the pain...but I can say that it was true for ME, for my two unmedicated births.

I mean, intellectually, I knew, but I had no physical/emotional memory of that sensation. My memories of that whole labor, which was long and hard, are really fuzzy. Nicely so.
....
When I went into labor with DS2 I had a moment of recognition, like "oh, yeah, this is what it feels like". Again, as soon as he was out, the memory of the contractions was gone. We're talking mere seconds after his birth. And after that birth, I had an endorphin high that lasted for hours.
:

I can describe intellectually (and did, in my birth stories) the sensation, the change from labor cx to pushing cx, the feeling of the urge to push. But the pain of it is almost impossible to bring to mind.

But when I went into labor with #2, the first stab in my back and my brain said "That! That's the sensation!! There it is!!"

With #1, the endorphins of pushing were so fizzy and so powerful that I could have danced around the room, and had to be reminded that I might not want to get up just yet. #2 came much quicker (and later at night) so I wasn't quite so perky, but both times the pain *quickly* became more of a memory of the *idea* of pain rather than any actual pain.

(However, I also, right after the fact both times, thought "That wasn't nearly as bad as I'd been led to expect it *could* be. That wasn't the worst pain I've ever been in.")

savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

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#67 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 09:47 PM
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Completely forgotten!


























My kids are 13, 12 and 10!

Trying to do the right thing with three kids and a hubby. 
ds20, dd18, ds16

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#68 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 09:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Celticqueen View Post
Then again, I did have pitocin and I don't know what "natural ones" feel like. Perhaps it's different?

-Caitrin
Oh yeah, it is very different! I think pitocin contractions are impossible to stay on top of, the natural ones were a bit easier to deal with....still very painful though.
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#69 of 90 Old 09-12-2007, 10:27 PM
 
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After I gave birth, I was in shock. The word that came to mind was traumatizing. (This story does have a happy ending! :-) ) I remembered it well & for a long time & of course w/ pictures was able to torture myself regularly to keep the memories fresh, but then other life problems cropped up & became more important & took my focus off of the pain. I don't consciously remember now, but if I try, sure, it all comes back. I first gave birth almost 2 years ago. I'm going to again in March. When I first became pregnant this second time, I started having these scary pains in my legs, the same pains I had all through labor--never during that first pregnancy, just the labor. I do believe that the body remembers & records everything, that we re-create patterns over & over again that get played out disguised in different sceneries, etc. I think part of the reason I had this pre-labor labor pain is partly because of this belief that the body remembers. The other reason I think the pains came back was b/c I wasn't thru processing the experience.
The pains have gone away now but yeah, they scared me--I mean, was I going to feel like I was in labor for 9 or so months in addition to the actual labor?! The interesting thing for me is--while the physical pain was unpleasant & of course, intensely painful, it was the emotions that came with the pain that really threatened me & in turn, controlled the pain. I instantly was back in that self-punishment mode, feeling disappointed in myself for being so tired & punking out, as I was calling it at the time. I labored for 15 hours total, 4 of that pushing, at home, no drugs---really a pretty amazing thing, not ever considering the beliefs about birth & life that I accepted my whole life up until about 5-6 months of pregnancy. I really beat up on myself during birth, all in the name of putting the baby's comfort first supposedly....whatever. "I had prepared myself. I read Birthing from Within & I did the visual opening up exercies. I relaxed! I had lots of support. I had no reason to be having this much trouble opening up! & on & on & much worse"--these are the things I was saying. I had unreasonable expectations; well, to have had any at all may have been the mistake for me! :-)
However, once I named those feelings during this pregnancy, really let myself feel as scared as I wanted to, as mad at myself as I could, I realized how silly I was. For me, letting myself go emotionally whereever I want (outloud & by myself) W/OUT judging myself & then doing a sort of reality check at the end is so therapeutic. For me a reality check means saying, "So, THIS is how you really feel? Do you REALLY believe this?" & I have to admit, "No, not really." Then b/c I've gone to SUCH extremes to torment myself, it's pretty easy to laugh at myself. The other thing I do is to say, would I ever ever ever say these things to someone else? Then why the **** would I say them to me!? The yucky feelings were gone almost instantly & so were those pains!
I guess what I'm getting at & what others have been saying too is that the pain might be a mask for the emotional pain you're in. It's very natural to experience physical pain to mask dealing with whatever emotions you're dealing with. I mean, you fall--are you really hurt or are you thinking "stupid stupid me!" b/c "stupid stupid me" talk will definitely cause you some pain & then the body will remember that thought the next time you have pain & so on. I would also suggest looking into some flower essences--I can recommend some specific ones for releasing different kinds of emotional pain, as well as some interesting therapies like defusion or Barbara Brennan Energy Work, both of which I can also talk more about if you're interested. Don't know if I can post that here & now, so I won't unless asked.

I think next time is already going to be better. You clearly want it to be better, tell yourself it will be so. When you're not doing self-therapy, try to say only what you want to be in stead of what you don't want. Lots of love & hugs to you. Tell yourself you love you! That's your most important job! ...E.
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#70 of 90 Old 09-13-2007, 10:16 AM
 
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I remember the pain very clearly and my DD is 3.5. I had a very long, traumatic posterior labor, though.

If I am being honest, I describe the pain as being like being hit in the back with a baseball bat every 3 minutes for 20+ hours. That's really how it felt. There was none of this "achey menstrual cramping" business. (I didn't feel a contraction in my abdomen till she was born and I had afterpains!). Bone hitting bone--that was how it felt. IT SUCKED. Yes, far worse than anything else I have ever experienced.

Quote:
I also believe that if the really bad part (8 out of 21 hours of labor) had been shorter, say 1-2 hours, I wouldn't have a strong recollection of it. I dealt with it well, but it wore me down incredibly.
This may be true for me, too. My labor was 34 hours and of those 34, at least 18-20 were intensely, horribly painful. That's a long time.

I am still planning another med-free birth, but by God, if this baby is posterior, I will do whatever it takes to turn him/her.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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#71 of 90 Old 09-13-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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well, count me as your first. I know there was pain, but I couldn't tell you what the pain was like (other than intense) or what it felt like / where.:
I am going to be the second one. I forgot all the pain completely the moment I saw my baby. I had two pitocin/epidural births and this was my first natural birth in a free standing birth center and I was really scared and not sure how I was going to handle it. I did prepare myself for the pain and I was really "welcoming" contractions thinking that the stonger they get the sooner I'll see my baby. I remember thinking "I cannot do it anymore" and screaming but I don't remember actual pain. I find it is really strange but it is true. I am actually looking forward to another natural birth as it was such a great experience for me.
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#72 of 90 Old 09-13-2007, 04:50 PM
 
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Who here agrees/disagrees with the statement "forgetting the pain" and do explain WHY?
I 'forgot' it every time. Of course I didn't forget that it hurt but, yes, I have forgotten the pain.
With #1 I forgot the pain immediately.
With #2 I forgot the pain but not the trauma (hospital)
With #3 I forgot the pain immediately.
After #4 the pain was very vivid for a few weeks.
With #5 I forgot it enough to say that I would do it again

Keri

 Keri wife and Mama to  Cory 17,  Brendan 15,  Kerianne 8,  Avery 7,  Lilia 3
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#73 of 90 Old 09-13-2007, 04:59 PM
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i never forgot but it gradually became less important to me. at the time i was having weird thoughts about the nature of time. i was remembering milton and some protestant sermons about eternity in hell and in one dilluded moment asked my BF if this was it. it was outside of time, like a bad acid trip. i had a 3 hour all back labor no space between contractions labor in a hospital where the staff kept telling me they wouldn't let my boyfriend in until i "behaved myself" and quieted down. it was like being stabbed in the back for hours straight and sometimes i couldn't feel. things just went white.

i immidetly had a rush of endorphins when it was time to push. didn't feel the pain at all. when the baby came out nothing hurt. it was a great high. then he got sick and nothing mattered but being with him.

i had flashbacks to the pain for a while but mostly it had to do with the lack of empathy from the staff. i would encourage any woman who experienced a traumatic birth to seek therapy or at least talk it through with someone. for me it was very much like rape. lots of pain and doctors doing stuff w/ my express lack of consent.

in the end, i knew it was kind of a freak occurance so i don't fear it happening again (that's post therapy)
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#74 of 90 Old 09-13-2007, 05:15 PM
 
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I don't think that the pain of it is what matters. You wouldn't go back and not do it. Look at it as your battle to motherhood, your stretch marks as your scars. I feel proud of myself that I was able to it. If you can do that and survive you can do anything.

I had two natural, drug free labors. I just had ds2 in May and to tell you the truth, the thought of ever doing THAT again makes me want to vomit...and in the scheme of things I had two easy labors (5 hours w/ds1 and 45 minutes w/ds2). The labors were INTENSE but are now a bit of a blur. I think the memory of it does tend to fade, although it came rushing back to me in a vividly stark picture when I saw the 2 lines on the pregnancy test for ds2!
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#75 of 90 Old 09-13-2007, 05:20 PM
 
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The memory of the pain of childbirth vanished within minutes for me. The memory of my tailbone snapping.. now THAT has stayed with me. But nothing else..

Edited to add: I had three natural births. The first one unfortunately augmented with Pitocin but no pain meds. I even forgot the pain of Pitocin contractions. And let me tell you... no one warned me about those... LOL Less than 5 minutes after the births I said each time.. "I'd do that again."

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#76 of 90 Old 09-14-2007, 01:39 AM
 
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I forget the pain for the first few months after baby but can vaugely remember in retrospect. The memories of my first birth are much more vivid (pitocin induction). It felt like I was being torn apart. Horrible, I wanted to die.

My second natural birth paled in conparison. I remember the pain but also remember being more in control and "safer".
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#77 of 90 Old 09-14-2007, 03:51 AM
 
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Well, everyone's going to hate me, but... 15 *days* after giving birth, I don't remember the pain! But, I felt that way about 15 minutes after giving birth too! I commented to my MW and others right after the birth that it wasn't very painful... at all. Is that weird? Maybe so.

First birth: pitocin induced, no pain meds, 20-some hours of magnesium sulfate laden labor, ending in a c-section under general. I didn't find the contractions THAT bad during that labor, but the recovery from the c-section was excruciating.

Second birth: 3 days of start-and-stop labor, ending in a waterbirth/VBAC. It'd been a looong labor, but the final transition and pushing stage went pretty fast. No drugs whatsoever. I would describe crowning as pain, but the rest was just intense pressure and the biggest workout of my life. It's called labor because it's really hard work! But... no pain.

Even the crowning pain wasn't that bad. Maybe moderate. I've had sciatic pain that hurt worse.

I really feel bad for the women who have such traumatic, painful births. I don't know why mine was different, because I'm really a wuss the rest of the time (ask my husband!). The only thing I can think of is that I didn't EXPECT it to hurt.

Okay, now I'm rambling...

Danell - Craft Savvy mama to Evan (3/31/06) and Andre (8/29/07)
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#78 of 90 Old 09-15-2007, 12:15 AM
 
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I remember my 3rd in GREAT detail. Super fast labor and a 9lb 11 ounces baby. I'm pg again and more scared this time then any other time.

My 2nd~ nice, peaceful 3 hour waterbirth. Somewhat blurry on the pain details.

My 1st~induced, epidural, 3 hours and 45 minutes of pushing. Yucky experience and very clear on the details.

Jennifer- mom to Nicholas (11), Ella (10), Andrew (8) and Anna Sophia (6)
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#79 of 90 Old 09-15-2007, 03:13 AM
 
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You know, even though I said that I remember the pain VIVIDLY (which I do) I want to clarify that I don't think that memory is a bad thing. I don't feel traumatized by the memory of the pain. I'm glad I can remember it. Why wouldn't I want to?

Yeah, it hurt like hell. It hurt worse than anything I've ever experienced in my life. But it's over now. It's not like remembering it is as tough as actually experiencing it. And the two times I gave birth were two of the most amazing days of my life.

Not that I'd want to do it a third time, though.
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#80 of 90 Old 09-15-2007, 03:21 AM
 
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I don't remember a thing, i know something hurt like heck, to the point of me being delerious before they stopped my contractions and gave me an epidural, but i remember none of that and barely remember giving birth.

now, my gall bladder and post surgery pain, that i remember.
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#81 of 90 Old 09-15-2007, 11:20 AM
 
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After my first one and 42 hrs of labor I really didn't want to do that again. I remembered the pain and the whole experience (natural hospital birth) quite vividly for awhile. My second one was a 3 hr and 45 min extremely intense labor (home birth) I had said right after that I don't want to ever do that again! I have forgotten the pain (it has only been 8 weeks) and it is just a memory. That is what our bodies to do trick us into having another baby.

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#82 of 90 Old 09-15-2007, 02:22 PM
 
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Haven't read the whole thread, but as to the OP....I agree that it's a joke! I certainly did not forget the pain of labor! All three of my babies have been posterior back/butt/leg labor (never have felt much of anything up front!) and all have been unmedicated.

I definitely have not forgotten the sensation of labor....for me, rather, it just wasn't important once the baby was born, KWIM? Sure, it hurt like hell.....for awhile. But once the birth was over, so was the pain of birth., sure there was residual discomfort while I was healing, but the pains didn't continue.

So, for me, while I can remember the power and intensity of those contractions, that ring of fire, the almost inevitable sense at one point or another that I could not do it for one more second...while none of that is forgotten or dulled or anything, it also holds no fear for me, thus no power over me.

Yep, I fully expect this birth will hurt just as much as the others. I have no reason to think it won't be another back labor; in spite of all my efforts to the contrary, that seems to be the way my body does birth. It will hurt, but I will overcome it, just like I have before. Because I am strong, and I will be surrounded by strong, supportive people who will share their strength with me!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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#83 of 90 Old 09-15-2007, 02:50 PM
 
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I can remember the pain, quite clearly. However, my births weren't traumatic, and I was able to keep "on top" on the ctx for most of my labour with each one. I remember the ring of fire and boy do I remember afterpains, but it wasn't so bad that I'm not willing to do it again, if that makes sense.

I always kind of thought that that was what the saying meant -- the importance of the pain faded away, but you could still remember what it was like. It's interesting for me to read so many women say they can't remember what it felt like.

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#84 of 90 Old 09-15-2007, 08:10 PM
 
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I still haven't gotten over the trauma of the first birth, and that was 3 1/2 years ago. The pain of the second birth, which I know intellectually was pretty much just as bad, is a distant memory-although it was just 3 months ago.

Could it be that you are remembering this pain so vividly because it traumatized you so much?


Oh and just because it's different for you doesn't mean you should feel like a loser! No way, Don't do that to yourself!

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#85 of 90 Old 09-17-2007, 07:46 PM
 
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With my first birth, I remember that the pain was horrific. But I have good memories of that birth. When I was getting ready for my 2nd birth, I got into the empty birth tub when we set it up a week before my due date. I started freaking out, remembering the pain.

My 2nd birth was a lot faster and a lot less painful. But I don't have good memories of that birth for separate reasons.
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#86 of 90 Old 09-17-2007, 08:45 PM
 
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My kids are 4 yrs and 27 months. For me, the idea of the pain has just kind of blurred into the background of my whole memory of the event, if that makes any sense.

With #1 my water broke and I was in hard labor within 10-15 minutes. I remember crying about how much the contractions hurt. I remember vomiting shortly after I got to the hospital because I was sick from the pain. Before they'd let me have the epidural, they wanted me to be dilated to three. The nurse "swept some adhesions" from my cervix and pronounced that now she could call me a three, as if she'd done me some enormous favor. Interestingly, THAT, done unexpectedly and against my will, is one of my very vivid memories of my first birth. It still makes me angry to this day and I remember it more intensely than the contractions. It was intensely painful and I felt violated. In retrospect I should have complained.

With #2, my water didn't break until late labor, so my contractions were very different, and they were irregular as well. I only went into the hospital because I was having some bright red show, and by the time I got there I was settling into a regular pattern (and dilated to six!). Only after my water broke and I hit transition did I then remember how intense my contractions were with my first before the epidural (makes me wonder how fast I would have gone without it). I went without pain medication for this birth, and experienced that euphoria right after.

So, today, I remember hurting A LOT. But it's hard to describe, and it's not enough to deter me from wanting to do it again. However, I had relatively easy births both times, even with the interventions first time around. But like I said, I remember that one cervical check *vividly*, so it makes sense to me that those of you who had extremely traumatic birth experiences might remember things in a different way.

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#87 of 90 Old 09-20-2007, 01:15 AM
 
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This is a great thread. I agree it's a joke (for me, anyway - some women have painless labors, too, but that was not me). Mine was a completely natural, supposedly non-traumatic, homebirth. I was in the worst pain of my life for about 8 hours. There was a long period (thankfully I don't know how long) where the pain didn't go away between contractions. It lessened slightly, but didn't go away. (Yes, I know lots of people have it much worse.)

I did have the high afterwards, but for the first 24 hours I was absolutely convinced I was never having another child (which made me sad). After that, I was willing to consider it as a distant possibilty.

What really got to me was when I read my MW's labor notes at 7 weeks pp. I was interested and enjoying reading them, but started to feel sick to my stomach. I blamed it on too heavy a lunch. But then every time I thought about labor or read a birth story, or even read posts about ways to deal with contractions, I would get cramps and/or feel sick. And, yes, I remembered the pain, and still do, quite clearly.

At this point (6 months later) I am finally not having a physical reaction to the thought of labor most of the time.

I think part of it for me was that I had this deep down feeling that if it hurt so much, I must not have been "handling" it well enough (or that I had painful expectations, even though I thought I didn't, that had set me up for it). So, even though I survived and had a (wonderful!) homebirth like I wanted, I didn't feel very strong. Lately, I've started thinking about it differently - remembering the pain, but also remembering that it was (slightly) easier to deal with (truly, it was) when it got so overwhelming that all I could do was just let it happen. This might make sense only to me, but it has helped me think about the pain less negatively.

I probably will have another child. At this point, the pain of labor is a minor point in that decision (it will be awful, but it will not last terribly long) - I'm a lot more concerned about parenting a toddler while pregnant and parenting a toddler AND a newborn while recovering from childbirth. The experience of the second will determine if there will be a third.

I hope you can get some help dealing with your psychological reaction to the pain memory. You don't have to forget the pain. You just have to find a way to think about it that won't make you feel horrific every time you think about it, kwim? to you, Caitrin, and to all of you with traumatic birth memories.

ETA: I agree with pp who said you should tell your family quite clearly that talk about forgetting the pain is hurtful to you and that you do not wish to discuss the subject.

Wife to the man I never expected, DS born at home '07, '08, baby girl born at home Oct '09!
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#88 of 90 Old 10-10-2007, 02:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by lachingona1 View Post
That is what our bodies to do trick us into having another baby.
Not for me though.

-Caitrin

Me whistling.gif Wife / SAHM / Musician/ Actress/ Queen of this castle. Progeny: William (January 2007), Tristan (November 2008) and expecting Lukas stork-boy.gif due January 2012!!  lactivist.gif femalesling.GIFwaterbirth.jpg dishes.gif

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#89 of 90 Old 10-10-2007, 02:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is a great thread. I agree it's a joke (for me, anyway - some women have painless labors, too, but that was not me). Mine was a completely natural, supposedly non-traumatic, homebirth. I was in the worst pain of my life for about 8 hours. There was a long period (thankfully I don't know how long) where the pain didn't go away between contractions. It lessened slightly, but didn't go away. (Yes, I know lots of people have it much worse.)

I did have the high afterwards, but for the first 24 hours I was absolutely convinced I was never having another child (which made me sad). After that, I was willing to consider it as a distant possibilty.

What really got to me was when I read my MW's labor notes at 7 weeks pp. I was interested and enjoying reading them, but started to feel sick to my stomach. I blamed it on too heavy a lunch. But then every time I thought about labor or read a birth story, or even read posts about ways to deal with contractions, I would get cramps and/or feel sick. And, yes, I remembered the pain, and still do, quite clearly.

At this point (6 months later) I am finally not having a physical reaction to the thought of labor most of the time.

I think part of it for me was that I had this deep down feeling that if it hurt so much, I must not have been "handling" it well enough (or that I had painful expectations, even though I thought I didn't, that had set me up for it). So, even though I survived and had a (wonderful!) homebirth like I wanted, I didn't feel very strong. Lately, I've started thinking about it differently - remembering the pain, but also remembering that it was (slightly) easier to deal with (truly, it was) when it got so overwhelming that all I could do was just let it happen. This might make sense only to me, but it has helped me think about the pain less negatively.

I probably will have another child. At this point, the pain of labor is a minor point in that decision (it will be awful, but it will not last terribly long) - I'm a lot more concerned about parenting a toddler while pregnant and parenting a toddler AND a newborn while recovering from childbirth. The experience of the second will determine if there will be a third.

I hope you can get some help dealing with your psychological reaction to the pain memory. You don't have to forget the pain. You just have to find a way to think about it that won't make you feel horrific every time you think about it, kwim? to you, Caitrin, and to all of you with traumatic birth memories.

ETA: I agree with pp who said you should tell your family quite clearly that talk about forgetting the pain is hurtful to you and that you do not wish to discuss the subject.
I really appreciate this post

-Caitrin

Me whistling.gif Wife / SAHM / Musician/ Actress/ Queen of this castle. Progeny: William (January 2007), Tristan (November 2008) and expecting Lukas stork-boy.gif due January 2012!!  lactivist.gif femalesling.GIFwaterbirth.jpg dishes.gif

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#90 of 90 Old 10-10-2007, 02:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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remembering the pain, but also remembering that it was (slightly) easier to deal with (truly, it was) when it got so overwhelming that all I could do was just let it happen.
I have actually been thinking about that quite a bit lately and you articulated it SO WELL- thank you

What a great way to put it for those of us who still remember the pain!

I have wondered and wondered (since I want to get pregnant in a few months)- WOULD IT INDEED help the pain if, when I was feeling overwhelmed to an utterly high extent, I just "let it happen"? (aka "surrendering"?)

I don't know the answer to this question but I do know it will be extremely hard to "surrender" and "let it happen".

During my labor, my doula said, "Don't fight the contractions!" and I actually said, "But I WANT to fight the contractions!!"



Hopefully, I'll learn not to.

-Caitrin

Me whistling.gif Wife / SAHM / Musician/ Actress/ Queen of this castle. Progeny: William (January 2007), Tristan (November 2008) and expecting Lukas stork-boy.gif due January 2012!!  lactivist.gif femalesling.GIFwaterbirth.jpg dishes.gif

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