How can I convince OB to NOT induce? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 50 Old 09-18-2007, 06:52 PM
 
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And I did labor on my back in a hospital bed, but that was mosty because the pain of labor is so overwhelming for me that by the end I just don't have the energy to get up on all fours and turn over. I've seen women do that on shows that show natural labor, and I have always wondered how they had the strength.
This to me is one of the biggest benefits of birthing pools! I labored and delivered in a pool (at home) and I also wonder how women have the strength to get into all these positions during the HARD labor of birthing. With water, you are nearly weightless. I found it easy to get into, or change, or stay in any number of positions while I was in the water - some which would be just IMPOSSIBLE out of the water.

I highly recommend you look into this, especially with the history of SD. A birthing tub could really make a difference for you, making it easy to open your pelvis with less effort.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#32 of 50 Old 09-18-2007, 07:18 PM
 
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I wouldn't stick with an OB who needed to be "convinced." No kidding. You've handed over a lot of power, there, talking about what you need to convince him of and what he will allow you to do. Reclaim your birth. Remember that you are the one who is growing this baby, that you are the one who will do the work of getting the baby out into the world. Take control. Remember you are in charge.
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#33 of 50 Old 09-18-2007, 09:12 PM
 
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Someone on here once posted a link to a chiropractor's website who recommends pushing while lying on your side as being at least as good as pushing while kneeling/crouching/on all fours/whatever upright method you can think of. He says it opens up your birth canal at least as much as squatting. So if you feel like you need to labor while lying down at the end of your labor, this is OK! Instead of rolling onto your back, stay on your side and either hold your leg up yourself or have someone hold it for you.

This is what I did by instinct and it worked great for me. I was really tired and wanted to stay lying down on my side. I was too tired to move at all, I didn't want anyone touching me either. I just stayed on my side and held my upper leg up by my head. I think I wrapped my arm around my leg and held my leg by my knee, if that makes sense. Then between contractions and when I wanted to rest, I just dropped my leg back down again.

Maybe someone here has the link to that article.
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#34 of 50 Old 09-18-2007, 11:04 PM
 
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Tara, Would your dh be open to doing some reading? If so, Marsden Wagner's "Born in the USA" will open his eyes, if anything will. By a doctor, against doctors. That's a huge simplification of his position, but he presents a compelling case, all evidence-based, so it appeals to mainstream and "worried dads".

Lucky mama to Isaac , born on Valentines Day 06', certified birth doula, midwife apprentice
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#35 of 50 Old 09-19-2007, 10:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for these suggestions. I spoke with a midwife in the area who delivers at home yesterday, and she helped me so much in terms of my confidence level and not allowing induction. She also talked about baby spinning and excercises that I can do to get the baby in a better position. I have spoken with our insurance, and they will not cover any expenses incurred with midwife svcs or homebirth, and the expense of the service is too much for us to do out of pocket. So now I just feel like I have to tell my OB that we will not induce. Since we are an hour away from the hospital, and I'm due in January (we have snowy/icy winters) the OB also felt that induction would save me from having to drive to the hospital in labor. To me this is another reason to have a midwife come to my home, but it seems out of the question. I am frustrated with this whole thing. I feel like everyone around me has these logical reasons for inducing this labor, and I am the only one opposed. Of course, I am the one having the baby so that should make my vote the only one that counts but I am drowning in a sea of "this is the only way"s. Okay, thanks for letting me vent.

Tara
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#36 of 50 Old 09-19-2007, 11:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by taralv View Post
And I did labor on my back in a hospital bed, but that was mostly because the pain of labor is so overwhelming for me that by the end I just don't have the energy to get up on all fours and turn over. I've seen women do that on shows that show natural labor, and I have always wondered how they had the strength.
Induced labor is often much more intense than natural labor. This is why you see women have the energy to turn over or otherwise move during labor. They are not stricken by unnatural contractions. Induction makes a significant difference in the amount of pain a woman has during labor.

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I feel like everyone around me has these logical reasons for inducing this labor, and I am the only one opposed. Of course, I am the one having the baby so that should make my vote the only one that counts but I am drowning in a sea of "this is the only way"s.
But you're the only one with logical reasons! None of the reasons for induction are compelling or even logical. I highly recommend focusing on getting your baby in a good position now and not pushing on your back. You do not have to convince your OB of anything, but you may have to stand strong as he tries to change your mind. Imo, having an induction because you're due in the winter and it could by icy is just one way he's already trying to convince you. And he has 20 more weeks to keep trying. It's not an easy situation when the birth climate is so hostile. Can you look into a loan for to pay for the midwife? I did that with no regrets. If you decide to go ahead with the hospital birth, then I highly recommend a doula to help you during labor. A good doula will have you move and keep you from staying in a position that could contribute to a malpositioned baby.
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#37 of 50 Old 09-19-2007, 12:54 PM
 
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Can you look into a loan for to pay for the midwife? I did that with no regrets.
I second that. The list of things I would sacrifice to make sure that my baby and I emerge from our birthing experience whole, physically and emotionally, is quite large. I would skip Christmas presents and vacations, downgrade my car, cancel my Netflix subscription, stop buying clothes, music and DVDs, turn my heat down this winter, you get the idea. I know my DH would also get a second job for it - it's just too important and the other stuff just isn't.

If my DH had to have major surgery and we had to choose between a vet with a poor repuation and an experienced people-surgeon, we'd do the same! I would never want to put my husband in jeopardy with some knife-happy maniac who doesn't understand the body he (or she) is working on for a couple thousand bucks or so. Sure, it's a lot of money, but it's one of the few things that is WORTH it.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#38 of 50 Old 09-19-2007, 01:29 PM
 
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Tara, it sounds like you found the midwife for you. If you really want a home birth, most midwives will work with you, perhaps a payment plan or barter. There is always a way; can you think of anything more important to spend money on than your child's birth? Also, staying with this ob will be stressful for you, it sounds like. You can always change things before birth . . .not after. Listen to yourself; you and only you know what is right for your baby and your family. And I can definitely relate to that bad feeling of negative info coming in; it's something no pregnant woman should have to feel, but sadly, so many do.

Lucky mama to Isaac , born on Valentines Day 06', certified birth doula, midwife apprentice
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#39 of 50 Old 09-19-2007, 08:02 PM
 
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I think the best advice I have is to find a provider that you're comfortable with.
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#40 of 50 Old 09-19-2007, 08:07 PM
 
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Oops, I didn't see the update about the midwife. She sounds great! Did you talk to her at all about payments? See if she will work with you at all, midwives are usually great. I don't think you should feel forced into anything with your OB.
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#41 of 50 Old 09-19-2007, 10:07 PM
 
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wow, great, supportive posts from everyone (almost)....

tara,

I also think you should go with a care-provider who supports your choices. This is the most important day in your baby's life and one of the most important days in your life. If you are already in disagreement with your provider it sounds like it will only get worse.

Ask him to get his story straight, is it the SD or is it the ice?!! The ice is an absolutely embarrassingly ridiculous reason to induce!!! Last year it was 70 degrees on my dd's January bday in NJ!

I would also speak with your dh. It sounds like you are open to the idea of hb but are seeing some obstacles. If you really want it then you can make it happen. Life is a series of choices. Right now you are faced with a choice. You know that the induction is risky, uncomfortable and not necessary. You know that it will not guarantee no SD (obviously from your past experience). To me the logic is so compelling it's not even worth arguing over. If the past 2 babies were induced and 1 of them had SD, it's kind of like, duh, doc!!

Have dh read before he makes a decision about your body! And find that money. Because if your choice is to be miserable and argue and stressed out with your doctor OR be happy and confident and respected by your midwife, that's also a no-brainer and your dh should recognize that and support you. Go back and read your posts. There is a huge difference in tone from your first posts to the one after you met the mw. It is your job to protect your baby, you know this, you're already a mom.

And wow, major kudos to you for birthing without pain meds after being induced!!! hb will be a million times better of an experience!!

Also, check out www.motherfriendly.org. This will give you guidelines for finding a mother-friendly care-giver who respects you and the natural birthing process. See how your doc measures up. These guidelines were written by people who really CARE and they are committed to evidence-based practices. And they have been endorsed by many organizations, professionals and individuals. Show that to your dh too.
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#42 of 50 Old 09-20-2007, 03:15 AM
 
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You cant. Sorry, but the truth is that you can only have as good medical care as your provider. And you are going to spend the next 20 weeks worrying, stressing, arguing, and in general having a high stress negative environment for your pregnancy.

you need another provider. you need a midwife and probably a homebirth. Consider all the factors, drive if you must, whatever. but don't think you will change their minds, they have made up their minds already.

i have seen this too many times when i worked in the hospital and as a doula. Which is why I am a homebirth midwife. People expect to be able to change minds, make new policies, "talk" to their providers into doing things outside their normal realm, and believe me, whatever they might tell you, in the end they do what they want to anyway.

Sorry that I have no good advice. I do think it's generally unhealthy for you and the baby to be in a negative energy environment for your pregnancy and labor so I hope you find whatever is necessary to change that environment.

come up to PA, we'll take you!!!
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#43 of 50 Old 09-20-2007, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I am now in the process of finding another provider. I am frustrated because I feel the same way as most of you that I would rather take out a loan or set up a payment play and have a homebirth with a women that I trust, but dh feels differently. He feels like if we have insurance that covers birth we have to use it and not using it is just ridiculous in his opinion. Now, I'm trying to find a compromise and I've been married to him long enough to know when he will not budge on something. But I feel good about making a change in provider. I'm looking around close to home so that I can go into labor when I go into labor, period. At least I feel confident in that decision, and I owe in large part to all the responses I received on this thread, so thank you.

Tara
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#44 of 50 Old 09-20-2007, 01:50 PM
 
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I understand your pain! I was induced....one thing led to another and long story short- it was a traumatic birth witha 4th degree tear and they said I "Had" to have a c-section next time. I switched providers and went to hospital based midwives and they said maybe c-section too. I wasn't convinced because I felt that the interventions caused the distocia and tear....not the baby.
I didn't think homebirth was an option, but lots of research later I convinced DH and my family is coming around too. One thing that really changed his mind was setting up the interview with the midwife and letting him ask questions. After that he told me whatever I want.
She is gonna run the bill through our insurance and we hope they cover some, but they say they don't. But, in her experience, just because they say they don't doesn't actually mean they don't. She said a lot of times they will cover at least part of it. Either way, I'll sell a kidney if I have to in order to avoid another terrible birth! Keep researching and looking for that good provider!
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#45 of 50 Old 09-20-2007, 11:16 PM
 
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Tara, please keep us updated; I always check your thread now. Yay, you! Keep doing what feels to you to be the next right step. Birth is SUCH an amazing time in that women are never more vulnerable and never stronger than they are during labor and birth. Above all, you need to feel safe and supported.

Lucky mama to Isaac , born on Valentines Day 06', certified birth doula, midwife apprentice
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#46 of 50 Old 09-21-2007, 12:33 PM
 
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Good luck! I understand that you don't want to disagree with your husband and feel he won't budge...but please keep in mind, it's your body and your birth. Sure, it's important for him too, but it's totally not the same thing. You are the one who will be left with the scars, the emotional baggage,etc. if things go wrong. Men just don't have the same feelings about the whole issue usually.

My husband wasn't thrilled about our last birth at home with lots of people in a birth pool (even though i am a homebirth midwife, for gods sakes), but really, I listened to his opinion and then realized this was my journey to walk, and I had to stand up for my body, my baby, my birth.

keep us updated...
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#47 of 50 Old 09-21-2007, 06:45 PM
 
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Please keep us updated. For me, thinking in big-picture terms of the number of births I will have in my lifetime, I believe I deserve the birth type/location/experience/etc *I* envision, not just what insurance pays for or what someone else wants for me based out of fear, misunderstanding of my needs, etc.

My thoughts are with you...please keep us updated as you can!


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#48 of 50 Old 09-22-2007, 09:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, here's the update on the situation. I have changed to an OBGYN much closer to my home. I had a consult with him yesterday, and before I even had a chance to go into my situation he told me that he "loathes inductions". Of course that was such a relief for me. Then he took me on a tour of the hospital's birth center, which is a really small part of a really small hospital in a - you guessed it - small town. I was happy with it because the nurses were very friendly, very open to just allowing women to birth and hold their babies with no interference. I guess because it's not a big hospital they feel more comfortable relaxing some of the practices that you find in a big bureaucratic nightmare of a busy maternity ward. So, although it's not my ideal, I like the OB, I will be able to go into labor when my body is ready, and the hospital is 5 minutes away. I feel hopeful. I also wanted to say that I looked at the website spinningbabies.com, and I was relieved to read the information there, so thank you for that suggestion. I feel confident that if I have to print out some of the many articles that I've read concerning the fact that induction does not prevent dystocia, and in some cases actually causes it, I will do that. But I don't think it will be necessary as this OB doesn't believe in induction. So, we'll see.

Tara
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#49 of 50 Old 09-22-2007, 12:30 PM
 
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If my husband decided to lay down the law about something *I* had to experience, work *I* had to do, he'd be in deep sh...uh, you know. He wouldn't have to worry about ever DECIDING my birth place FOR me again, because he'd be lucky to ever have sex again. I say this every time this comes up but I just can't imagine being married to someone who thinks it's his place to determine a woman's BIRTH PLACE. It's insanity.

Laura, CBE and mom to Maddiewaterbirth.jpg ( 06/03/04) & Graceuc.jpg (  09/10/06)
 
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#50 of 50 Old 09-22-2007, 01:09 PM
 
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I've also chosen a small-town hospital over an urban teaching hospital with a "great reputation," but there were other factors for me, like being close to family and having to move before the birth anyway. You'll also get better continuity of care at the small hospital, and the nurses will know who you are, and vice versa, you won't be seeing a different person every 5 minutes. So it sounds like a good compromise to me.
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