Were you dissapointed with your midwife? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 84 Old 10-15-2007, 01:48 PM
 
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I had a so-so experience with my midwife when DD was born. I went into heavy labor at Ikea while shopping with my (now) ExH, MIL and her mother. (I sat on a bed during a contraction, and the bed broke! Then I lost my mucous plug in the bathroom, and I started crying and begging my IL's to stop shopping because I had to go... they said it would just be a few more minutes! We called the midwife, found out that her backup was on duty that day. We got to the birth center and she tried to make me comfortable. It was probably around noon, I had been having contractions since 4:30 in the morning. ExH asked her how long it would take, and she said that she thought another 24 hours. I thought "there is no way in he** I am doing this another 24 hours!! She did a VE and I was between 5 and 7 (don't remember now) Then she tried forcing me to try to drink full glasses of water, but we didn't realize I was in transition, so I just threw it up. She went back to her office to do some paperwork, and she was gone for about 45 minutes. When she came back in, I was sitting on the toilet, pushing for my life. She screamed at me "What are you doing?!" I yelled back "I HAVE TO PUSH!" She had me get on on the bed. My water broke just as I was reclining and it was green/brown. She was great about this part, though. I freaked and asked what's wrong, she said not a big deal, just a little meconium. She had me birth DDs head, removed the nuchal chord, suctioned her, then birth the rest of the baby. She let us delay clamping and cutting of the cord, and showed me the placenta. But not 20 minutes after the delivery, she tried to put a catheter in me because she said I hadn't used the bathroom yet. I asked her if was even going to let me try to pee before she catheterized me. She got all huffy and said "I guess." I had no urge to pee though, so I had her turn on the shower, set up the shower stool and sat under the hot water until I felt the urge. So she was ok... calmed me down when I was getting scared, let me move a lot. But she tried doing procedures on me that I didn't give any consent to, she discussed inappropriate things with ExH, and left me unattended for too long without realizing I was in transition. Next baby will be either HB or UC. We'll see.
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#62 of 84 Old 10-15-2007, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's really hepful for me to hear other women talk about their experiences. You know, I really wrestle with the guilt complex of thinking it's all my fault. : I definetely think in my case there were a lot of factors involved, some of which were not at all my MW's doing. It's hard to suss through it all and find where all the pieces fit. I have to interview my husband about it just to see his perspective, because mine was coming from inside laborland

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Originally Posted by Animal_Lady View Post
Next baby will be either HB or UC. We'll see.

See, this is what urks me about a dissapointing Midwifery experience. I too feel like considering a UC in large part due to my first MW. People don't usually expect their OB's to satisfy them because the OB's point of view is typically "If everyone lived, it was good". A MW just doesn't have that kind of leeway. This is sad, not because she should have that leeway, she shouldn't, but because of the structure that modern Midwifery is suspended in right now.

It costs money to go to a MW school ( plus your apprenticeship), even a distance program, so you are looking to recoup your expenses from that as soon as possible, and if you are trying to support your family off of ONE income (Midwfery) I don't see how you could possibly do a good job every time. So I definetely understand why they can't be "perfect" but I certainly didn't expect perfection, I had a dream of what perfection would be, and I never considered it viable. I only expect a MW to deliver what she promises to her clients, that's all.

So many MW forget that it is an honor to be at our births, they may see 100's, but we will get maybe 3 on average. There's no room for "feeling stressed" at a birth. It's your job as a MW to say to yourself "okay, I am srressed. I'm gonna accept that stress, breathe it out and be the MW I promised this woman. I am going to be the MW she deserves."

Being a MW is a relentless calling, and I just can't see having an off day being acceptable.

By the way, I am a student MW I will only work part time my entire career because that's the amount I believe I can be the MW women deserve. High standards for MW's? Yes. But even higher standards for myself. And lest you say "wait and see" rest assured that if a woman ever says about me any of the dissapointing things that have been said here, I would have a major life-overhaul, probably resulting in a time-out if not a retirement.

Crystal
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#63 of 84 Old 10-15-2007, 10:17 PM
 
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Crystal

you last post was great.

i agree -- a MW is HUMAN -- but .... at the same time, as yu say even if it is just another day at the office for HER it is NOT that way for the mother ....

DH is LEO and while it is a day like any other to HIM, the people he meet it is a very differnt day and he has to remmber that.

AImee

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#64 of 84 Old 10-16-2007, 01:02 AM
 
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Yes, I had a terrible experience. My MW was okay throughout my pregnancy although she was a little pushy. During birth she turned into an absolute b***h. She yelled at me to birth in positions I wasn't comfortable in, made me labor completely naked when I had planned on wearing a sports bra and forced me to get out of the tub before I wanted to. She yelled at me to "Push!" during the second stage of labor and I ended up with a 3rd degree tear which required stitches. She punched me in the stomach (uterine massage-probably the worst pain I have ever felt in my life) when I refused to take Pitocin during 3rd stage labor. She didn't help me when I had BFing problems and she was very condescending and judgemental about my parenting. It was a nightmare. It has taken me a long time to heal from that dreadful experience. Next time I'm having a home birth with a different MW!

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#65 of 84 Old 10-16-2007, 01:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by stacyann21 View Post
Yes, I had a terrible experience. My MW was okay throughout my pregnancy although she was a little pushy. During birth she turned into an absolute b***h. She yelled at me to birth in positions I wasn't comfortable in, made me labor completely naked when I had planned on wearing a sports bra and forced me to get out of the tub before I wanted to. She yelled at me to "Push!" during the second stage of labor and I ended up with a 3rd degree tear which required stitches. She punched me in the stomach (uterine massage-probably the worst pain I have ever felt in my life) when I refused to take Pitocin during 3rd stage labor. She didn't help me when I had BFing problems and she was very condescending and judgemental about my parenting. It was a nightmare. It has taken me a long time to heal from that dreadful experience. Next time I'm having a home birth with a different MW!
Wow that is just awful!

My MW acted like it was HER birth and not mine.
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#66 of 84 Old 10-16-2007, 04:30 PM
 
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Yes, I was disappointed with my mw for my last hb. My first mw was great.
I'm more likely to go UC to avoid dealing with mws next go around.
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#67 of 84 Old 10-16-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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to so many of you!

I was not disapointed with my MW. But, I did have disapointment. For my 2nd birth, I was disapointed I didn't communicate my needs to her before labor. She would have been receptive, but I didn't feel confident enough to say, "I'm hoping I have the baby without you here. I want to be by myself." So, I was disapointed she came when my husband called her (not her fault!), I was disapointed that she sat between my legs when I was pushing (not her fault that I didn't tell her I didn't want that), etc. So, yes, I was disapointed, but in my case it was more disapointment that I didn't explain my needs.

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#68 of 84 Old 10-17-2007, 06:32 PM
 
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Crystal I know that you are a student midwife, but was speaking from a laboring woman's perspective. I am a midwife with 10 years experience, but I agree with what you are saying. It is a good attitude about the work.

Whatever, has happened in my life that day or week or whatever is not what the laboring woman should have to worry about. It shouldn't be her concern that I am tired from just having come from another birth, that I have a cold (other than to keep from spreading it), or that my DH and I had an argument. When a woman calls me in labor I need to be there for her 100%. I am quite sure that she never planned to be in labor when any of the above happened in my life and it isn't fair to burden her with those things.

If I can't separate my life from the woman's labor then I need to look at my committment to being a midwife.

My clients know that they can always reach me and I always return their calls, It might not be right away, but they get returned. Maybe because they know I will be there when they need me, then they leave messages at the office for the non-urgent stuff. They seem to respect that when I am away from the office it is my time to not think about midwifery, and I need that time to renew so I can be with them completely when they do need me.
Because we have this understanding,I get very few inappropriate pages.

Does that make sense?

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#69 of 84 Old 10-17-2007, 06:53 PM
 
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I feel like the only one....
My midwife did a lot wrong, for example:

Also, she pressured me to have my water broken (although she herself was the first to tell me in my prenatal that this was an unnecessary intervention)

Worst of all she complained continually that she was tired, and worst of all, she said she had a cold.

I think the responsible thing for her to do would have been to have her partner come to my birth, but my experience with her was pretty bad. I find myself saying what I hear a lot of c-section mama's saying "at least the baby was healthy!", as if that is all we look for in a birth experience.

I feel sad because I wanted my birth to be so much more.
The bold parts I could have written about my midwife.
I was so disappointed with how my birth experience turned with my first daughter.
My midwife didn't call her partner to join.
She did it alone.
She broke my water (because she thought I had labored too long and that I needed a break even though she knew I was STRONGLY against having my water broken.

I blame my consequent transfer to the hospital, medical intervention and eventual c-section on her.
I blame her because she broke my water.
My labor was fine until she broke my water.
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#70 of 84 Old 10-17-2007, 07:32 PM
 
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I seriously fear for the future of midwifery when women are fobbed off about these issues and told to not complain or speak publicly about it. As a homebirth advocate it makes me shudder each and every time I hear these stories but I suck it up and go in to support the woman before all else because regardless of where or how we birth, consumers are the ones who take the brunt of a birth. We're the ones who have to live with the memory of those vital hours and days and months being taken from us if our careprovider of choice rapes us, or is disrespectful. There is no broad consumer feedback system in Australia but I encourage birthing women to post their birth stories in a geographical section of my forums so other women can read the stories and find out who the mws are while they're trying to choose one. It is interesting to me that there's sometimes such a gap between words and practice with some midwives eg "I never do VEs routinely" but all of the birth stories with that particular mw show it's the first thing she suggests on entering a woman's home every time! So while it's an imperfect reporting facility, it has thrown stuff like that into relief without me having to point it out I've had two poor experiences with midwives and it doesn't win me friends when I talk about it. I still promote the model however as it's the best potential for women and birth that we have. We just need to remember that we are always consumers and always in charge no matter what model of care we choose.

Sending healing and love to al of us who've been betrayed in this way. Honesty is always good and for the safety of other women it's important that we speak out about our experiences.
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#71 of 84 Old 10-17-2007, 08:02 PM
 
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My 22 month old's birth was good but not great. I was very unhappy with my midwife for a long time afterwards.
I had a lot of complaints about the care I got from my midwife and never voiced them to her. I almost went back to her for my most recent birth but I am so glad I didn't. I had a much better birth experience this time, and I have been able to let go of a lot of what I was holding onto, but I still wish I'd told my first midwife how she upset me during my son's birth.
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#72 of 84 Old 10-18-2007, 03:11 AM
 
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I'm so very sorry for your experience. I think your letter is very good.

I can relate -- my first birth was a terrible experience, in large part thanks to the midwife. During prenatals she was warm and sweet and motherly. During the labor she let me know that I was inconveniencing her, that I was making too much of the pain, that I was laboring "wrong", and that it was my fault that it was so difficult. She led me to believe that the labor should be moving faster, so we augmented with castor oil at 48 hours, which made me miserably ill. She bullied me to do many things that were contrary to what my body was telling me to do. She was harsh with me when she thought I was being "hysterical" because I wasn't being all sweet and mild like the women in Spiritual Midwifery, saying, "DO YOU WANT TO HAVE THIS BABY?". She led me to believe that the dozen or so cervical checks she did were necessary, and that I needed to start pushing right at full dilation at her direction, with two people on either side holding my legs up and her right in the middle with her hands working me over. I felt confused, intimidated, angry, scared, invaded, and betrayed. Not a state of mind conducive to normal birth. When the baby was finally out after an unnecessarily long and hard second stage, I was so traumatized that I felt no sense of connection with him (and it didn't help that they took him away to clean him and do an exam right away.) I was injured and had severe postpartum depression.

My new midwife who was to attend my second birth encouraged me to talk to the first midwife in the hopes of getting some resolution and perhaps helping her learn. It was something of a disaster because I didn't feel heard at all, and came away from it feeling like she felt I was just "one of the difficult ones".

What did help immensely was talking with other women on the internet, and my prenatal appointments with my new midwife, which basically amounted to therapy sessions. She was so understanding and validating, and just let me talk. And talk. And talk.

I had an empowering second birth with this midwife, and then because I wanted even more, I went on to UC for my next two.
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#73 of 84 Old 10-18-2007, 10:52 AM
 
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i just wanted to say i too had a horrid expereince with my CNM for our first birth --- here in a couple of weeks we will birth with an OB.

I do not have the emotional enegery to go into it

but
  • she set me up to fail
  • belittled me
  • destoryed my confidence
  • constantly acted like something was wrong
  • insisted on Pit
  • insisted on an epdural
  • and gave up oin me -- walking out of the room while i was pushing
  • she told the doula "whatever i give up at this point" when i had pushed for 3 hours
  • she threathened with with a CS when my labor stalled (thus the pit) and anytime she wanted me to agree to anything .. opr jsut when she thought i wasn't giving it my all.
  • she accused me -- prenatally -- of starving myselkf to stay skinny

the list goes on

I totally support CNM, MW and so on ... but there is a need for MORE ACCOUNTABLITY ........... there are tooooooo many MW out there CLEARLY breaking the MW standards of care .....

Aimee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#74 of 84 Old 10-18-2007, 11:14 AM
 
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I can't even identify my disappointment in words to even explain. Just in case anyone was wondering why my post was so short. It's that raw, I guess. It was not the worse birth I've had by any means. And it was not like some of these other poster where they were treated so poorly.

I want to say my major beef was she didn't do enough. She did not attempt to even tell me to take it easy, slow down, etc. She didn't attempt to coach me even when I asked for someone to help me breath through the last portion. I was asking for help and didn't get it. I was telling them to say "slow down", "breath" and they didn't do it. I specifically inbetween a contrax said please tell me to slow down and breath. I knew he was coming fast and I knew what that would due to my body.

The assistant could not find a hb and I had a bruise from her pushing the doppler thing into me. This also freaked me out a bit and when I felt his head emerging I gave it all I had b/c I was seeing terror on her face and concern on my mw's face. I was scared he was in trouble, he was not.

The baby came out so fast and so furiously that he ripped me up and down and in and out really quite terribly. And then my mw just didn't stitch me up properly. After the fact, she told me she didn't know if she could stitch me up. I wish she would have told me she felt she just could not do it well. I was never given the option to possibly go to the ER and have a doctor stitch me up.

I'm not sure if I would have accepted a trip to the ER, however, it was not even discussed. And not having the option is worse than my decision to say no, you do it. KWIM???

She also didn't notice my baby was tongued tied and when my milk didn't come in I started to wonder. At 8 days PP I went and had his tongue clipped and then my milk came in over the next 2 days. This was the start to our terrible nursing relationship and it didn't have to be this way. He's 8 mo old and my supply just went away, he's had other issues too.

During my pregnancy, I probably should have had some medical tests done. I was severely anemic at 3 mo pp and I probably was anemic during the pregnancy. I also started having hypothyroid symptoms during the pregnancy and while I don't think any doctor would have treated me anyway, I'll never know and my mw didn't pick up on the symptoms, neither did a birth therapist. They all thought I was just depressed, so did I until a MDC mama directed me to some reading material by Julia Ross.

My dd was a slow labor, pushed for hours, calm mw, calm through everything, even a swelling cervix, she didn't tell me about it, she just gave me arnica and prayed without my knowledge. I was at total peace. I just didn't get good vibes from this 2nd mw hb experience. I wanted my former mw, she was just not living in a location that made that feasible.
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#75 of 84 Old 10-18-2007, 01:25 PM
 
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I agree with others who've pointed out midwives are human and far from perfect. That said...I went with a group CNM practice and transferred in at 36wks (long story). I had met the midwife who was 'on' when I went into labor once. I had liked her a lot and reviewed my plan for a med-free birth. When I got there she was just. so. unsupportive. I asked for an epidural within 20min for a couple reasons. She went on explaining to my husband in front of me how the baby's heartrate looked questionable and I probably wouldn't be able to get in the tub anytime soon...plus the meconium. Couldn't she have discussed it with me? I hadn't expected to be so unable to communicate in labor...I'm pretty chatty and was pretty much speechless. I couldn't even articulate that I wanted everyone to be *silent* when I was having a contraction...Because I couldn't make that known and because nurse and MW kept chatting amongst themselves during contractions I was totally unable to cope. Couple with being on 'the monitor' in bed....it was awful. Overall she (mw) s*cked. She, of course, was working the last hour of her 24hr shift.... Once I had the epidural she let me know that I shouldn't feel disappointed ...she had had one for her first labor as well and then had a homebirth with her second. THANKs for projecting your crap onto me..... UG!


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Originally Posted by turtlewomyn View Post
The OP's comment about women who haven't given birth to children not making good midwives kind of stings, since I have thought about becoming a midwife. I guess I am not qualified at this point as I have never given birth (at least for now......)
Please don't feel as though you haven't given birth b/c of the route your baby took.... You absolutely gave birth... This makes me Anyone with compassion can be a fabulous midwife. The one who ended up delivering my baby has never had any children and she was Far superior to the first gal! I just wish she had been on when I arrived!!!
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#76 of 84 Old 10-18-2007, 05:13 PM
 
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I think I found her web page, and the wording about her children's births I think is misleading if I found the right page. I don't think it's a necessary qualification for a midwife to have birthed or birthed any particular way. But don't mislead clients. When we hire someone for something so personal, we may want to know a bit about her own history because she brings that to all her births at some level no matter how professional she is. Let's save puffery for selling widgits.
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#77 of 84 Old 10-19-2007, 06:56 PM
 
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>>My new midwife who was to attend my second birth encouraged me to talk to the first midwife in the hopes of getting some resolution and perhaps helping her learn. It was something of a disaster because I didn't feel heard at all, and came away from it feeling like she felt I was just "one of the difficult ones".<<

I think there needs to be a caveat to the suggestion that women talk about their disappointment with their midwife. This can be a really bad idea, leaving the woman feeling all the more like it was all her fault.

Most of the midwives that the posters have talked about sound like they have at least some sociopathic character traits. For a sociopath it is impossible to empathize with the person they have hurt. They view them as objects to be manipulated. If the labor and birth went well, then they did a good job. If there was a problem, it couldn't possibly have been their fault. They seem to view everything as win-lose. Trying to discuss your disappointment with them and asking them to own a part of what went wrong, makes them the loser. To avoid being the loser, they will blame you, try to manipulate your feelings, try to alter your perception of the events, and they may even have others call you to tell you how wrong you are.

If all that doesn't work, they will offer personal attacks, they will belittle you and suggest you have psychiatric problems. Many will suggest you had such a strong reaction to their benign ministrations because you have a forgotten or repressed history of sexual abuse.

None of these things are true!! And even if any of them were, it doesn't change the way they treated you and how you feel about it. The good midwife should always be willing (and usually initiates the discussion) about the birth and then listens in a non-judgmental way.

It is best not to discuss your feelings about the birth with the midwives that have caused you so much heartache. You won't get the satisfaction you want and you won't get them to change the way they practice.

The way to get at least a bit of satisfaction is to file a complaint with the state licensing board if they are a CNM. If they are a CPM/LM/DEM, etc. file your complaint with the state licensing board (if there is one) or with the state midwives' group. If they are a CPM, or thinking about becoming one, or was one, then file a complaint with NARM. If a CPM has had her credentials revoked (yes, 3 have had their credentials revoked), she has to answer and resolve all past and current complaints before she can have those credentials reinstated. In states where CPM is the credential to have to become licensed and receive reimbursement from insurance, that can make a huge difference.

You may also want to google birth trauma or birth rape, and you will find sites that support healing after a traumatic birth. It's OK to say that it was assault, because it was abuse.

Wife, mother, midwife, triathlete
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#78 of 84 Old 10-19-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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None of these things are true!! And even if any of them were, it doesn't change the way they treated you and how you feel about it. The good midwife should always be willing (and usually initiates the discussion) about the birth and then listens in a non-judgmental way.
DO most MW talk to their moms afterwards about hw it went, how the mom feels and so on -- mine did not, she made a few comments afterward, in the i told you so tone, about the interventions .. continuesing the i let her down theme from the birth (i effected HER intevention numbers and so on ) ...

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#79 of 84 Old 10-20-2007, 12:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Momma Aimee View Post
DO most MW talk to their moms afterwards about how it went, how the mom feels and so on -- mine did not, she made a few comments afterward, in the i told you so tone, about the interventions .. continuing the i let her down theme from the birth (i effected HER intervention numbers and so on ) ...
That's a pretty good example of my comments about the lack of ability to empathize, "It's your fault and look what you did to my numbers."

I can't speak for all midwives, but I figure there is probably something at every birth that the mom or her partner wishes had gone differently. At our last appointment I always ask if there are lingering questions, if there are things that she would like to have been different, and if there were things she wishes we had done differently. I wait to the last visit for most of this, so the baby glow has worn off and there is a bit more perspective. I want honesty.

I don't get defensive, I don't argue. I figure there is something to learn at every birth and I don't know everything. I have usually done a lot of self examination (especially if the outcome was unexpected), and am able to tell her the lessons I've learned, what new skills I now have, and it gives me a chance to apologize for offenses I think I may have been responsible for. It's usually pretty minor stuff to the mom, but I want her to know.

I'm sorry that your midwife couldn't see that the birth was about you, not her.

Wife, mother, midwife, triathlete
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#80 of 84 Old 10-20-2007, 01:44 AM
 
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So much about a HB and relationship with a MW really can't be prepared for, though, KWIM? Especially if it's a woman's first or a VBAC. You just can't anticipate someones demeanor in a stressful situation. I think it is vital to interview a MWs previous clients and ask pointed questions. You really have to set aside any lingering codependency . and ask yourself Is this someone that I can labor with? Some mamas WANT a MW who will 'take charge', others want as close to a UC as possible.
My first MWs were a nightmare. They never ONCE tried to coach me or support me AT ALL. Of course I txfd but luckily no cs. My second MWs were awesome - very professional, but soft and supportive too. I have to say, though that I got lucky with my second birth. I met my MW at LLL, and she happened to be just who I needed. If I were to have another (fat chance at my advanced age-talk about an elderly multipara..) and couldn't have her, I'd be VERY picky-or UC.
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#81 of 84 Old 10-21-2007, 03:21 PM
 
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I know I'm chiming in late on this thread but I wanted to say to you Crystal, you did an amazing job of respectfully presenting your feelings in a non-threataning manner.
As a midwife of 12 years, I can say that I've learned an awful lot about how important it is to integrate into the woman and the families needs. I have dissapointed clients as well, and have learned a great deal from those expereinces.
Many midwives have held a cervical lip, broken waters, done things to get labor going, etc.. but I think the key is that these things have to be an agreement between the woman her midwife. The midwife can give her best advice about how to best help a woman. She can tell her that labor will be more effective if she changes position or whatever the case may be, but in the end, the woman needs to be supported in her choice. Even if that choice means the birth eventually ends in a transport.
We walk a delicate line between protecting the space that allows a woman to birth her baby as nature intended and being a servant of knowledge and experience that can be useful and helpful when things aren't straight forward. Most of the time this is a recepie for successful and beautiful birth experiences. But sometimes, if things are out of balance and everyone involved is not in sync, there is dissapointment for obvious reasons.

It will probably be hard for your midwife to read the letter. The reason is because we have our heart and soul invested into helping women avoid painful experiences. We want them to acheive a marvelous, blissful birth and we want to share in that bliss.

I wish you love and healing. From the sound of your letter, I'd say you're well on your way.

~Bridgett
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#82 of 84 Old 10-22-2007, 12:44 AM
 
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Was cleaning out some old e-mails today and found an e-zine from Midwifery Today. It was part 2 of a series of 4 articles related to much of what has been covered here: bullying by midwives. The article I saw talked about the characteristics of a bully vs. a sociopath and had commentary from some psychologists as to how and why this happens.
I am hoping the other parts of this series will offer some help for women who have suffered birth trauma and birth rape.

here is the link to Part 1 (defining the problem)
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/bullying_1.asp

here is the link to Part 2 (Spring 2007) (the how and why)
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/bullying_2.asp

here is the link to Part 3 (PTSD as a result of bullying)
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articl...ullrelease.asp

This last one has a lot of really good information about how bullies chose their targets and what events then cause the bully to take action to eliminate the target. Yikes, it is pretty scary stuff.

I couldn't find the link for the fourth part which I hope deals with healing and recovery for the woman. It's probably in the fall issue and just not available on line yet.

I hope that there is some information here that is helpful.

Wife, mother, midwife, triathlete
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#83 of 84 Old 10-22-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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TBH, there are some things I would change about my midwife. She is more hands-on and tech orientated than I would like. (My first midwife who now lives 2000 miles away was more my style.) I could list a few things, but I guess I have just decided to just let it go.

I have had enough births now to know that I honestly just do not like births, and the few little things my mw does/doesn't do isn't going to make or break it for me.

However, if she did major things like kept touching my cervix or wouldn't let me in the tub, I would definitely not be okay with that. I would not use her again. I don't know if I would have the couage to tell her why, but I am a wuss like that. =(
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#84 of 84 Old 10-22-2007, 12:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mothercat View Post
here is the link to Part 1 (defining the problem)
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/bullying_1.asp

here is the link to Part 2 (Spring 2007) (the how and why)
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/bullying_2.asp

here is the link to Part 3 (PTSD as a result of bullying)
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articl...ullrelease.asp

Thanks so much for sharing the links to the articles! They were really enlightening for me and helped me better understand my situation and responses to it.
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