Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omaha, NE
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Mom to a bright & energetic 6 y.o. boy With my sweetie for 10 years now Registered nurse
Yes, I had a terrible experience. My MW was okay throughout my pregnancy although she was a little pushy. During birth she turned into an absolute b***h. She yelled at me to birth in positions I wasn't comfortable in, made me labor completely naked when I had planned on wearing a sports bra and forced me to get out of the tub before I wanted to. She yelled at me to "Push!" during the second stage of labor and I ended up with a 3rd degree tear which required stitches. She punched me in the stomach (uterine massage-probably the worst pain I have ever felt in my life) when I refused to take Pitocin during 3rd stage labor. She didn't help me when I had BFing problems and she was very condescending and judgemental about my parenting. It was a nightmare. It has taken me a long time to heal from that dreadful experience. Next time I'm having a home birth with a different MW!
I feel like the only one....
My midwife did a lot wrong, for example:
Also, she pressured me to have my water broken (although she herself was the first to tell me in my prenatal that this was an unnecessary intervention)
Worst of all she complained continually that she was tired, and worst of all, she said she had a cold.
I think the responsible thing for her to do would have been to have her partner come to my birth, but my experience with her was pretty bad. I find myself saying what I hear a lot of c-section mama's saying "at least the baby was healthy!", as if that is all we look for in a birth experience.
I feel sad because I wanted my birth to be so much more.
Katreena, 39 year old Alaskan Mama to 1 and 1
|None of these things are true!! And even if any of them were, it doesn't change the way they treated you and how you feel about it. The good midwife should always be willing (and usually initiates the discussion) about the birth and then listens in a non-judgmental way.|
DO most MW talk to their moms afterwards about how it went, how the mom feels and so on -- mine did not, she made a few comments afterward, in the i told you so tone, about the interventions .. continuing the i let her down theme from the birth (i effected HER intervention numbers and so on ) ...
here is the link to Part 1 (defining the problem)
here is the link to Part 2 (Spring 2007) (the how and why)
here is the link to Part 3 (PTSD as a result of bullying)