how offensive is this tee-shirt? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#2 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 06:47 PM
 
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I would be slightly offended but I get the point...

I wanted to have a natural birth but after 30+ hours of labor (total labor was 41 hours) I needed some medical intervention...sometimes there isn't a lot of choice...

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#3 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 06:48 PM
 
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I think it's funny but I would never wear it.

(and of course there is a time and place for everything- even epidurals)

-Angela
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#4 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 06:54 PM
 
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I think it's kind of mean, and I didn't even have an epidural or any pain meds.
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#5 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 07:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CityChic View Post
I would be slightly offended but I get the point...

I wanted to have a natural birth but after 30+ hours of labor (total labor was 41 hours) I needed some medical intervention...sometimes there isn't a lot of choice...
About the same here, it took 26 hours (at hospital a bit longer at home)to get to 4cm and at that point I took the epidural and within half an hour I was at 10. I guess my family on my dads side has stubborn cervixes, my cousin even with the epidural never made it past I think 3. (after nearly 40 hours they did a c-section..)
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#6 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 07:10 PM
 
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I don't find it offensive so much as petty. With all the work to be done empowering women, why stoop to third-grade insults? Not to mention that whole "sissies" thing.

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#7 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 07:14 PM
 
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Yes, I thought that, too. Aren't sissies supposed to be "girly"? And aren't girls strong and powerful? So... No, I wouldn't wear it, and I'm a huge natural birth advocate. I think that, the few of the births I attended where the reason for the epidural was maternal exhaustion...those mothers would be crushed to see a woman wearing that shirt.

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#8 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 07:14 PM
 
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I don't understand. Why should it be that a natural physiological process should be painful outside of complications? I'm now firmly convinced that everyone should read the works of Dr. Grantly Dick-Read.

Anna
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#9 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 07:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I don't find it offensive so much as petty. With all the work to be done empowering women, why stoop to third-grade insults? Not to mention that whole "sissies" thing.
That's a good way to put it. It does seem petty. Perhaps childish.

I understand the frustration with mainstream culture that sparked it (and that's where I see the humor in it) but I don't see any purpose or progress with it.

-Angela
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#10 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 07:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Da WIC Lady View Post
I don't understand. Why should it be that a natural physiological process should be painful outside of complications? I'm now firmly convinced that everyone should read the works of Dr. Grantly Dick-Read.

Anna
I read the works of Dr. Grantly Dick-Read and think that his works were a load of misogynistic hooey. I've had four births, all different, but all involved some degree of pain or another, with no major complications. It didn't seem prudent to listen to a man tell me how birth "should" be, seeing how he has never gone through it. Personally, I don't think telling women birth shouldn't be painful if they do it right is the path to more natural childbirths. This is probably for another thread though.

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#11 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 07:20 PM
 
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There was one in mothering mag a few months back that said "epidural shmepadural" I liked that one a lot! Its empowering yourself, insted of what this one is doing...belittleing others
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#12 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 07:21 PM
 
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I think it plays to to the mentality that women choose natural childbirth to prove something or win an award.
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#13 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 10:11 PM
 
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I think it's rude and petty and would never wear it. We can be pro-natural birth without putting down other women. Just like I would never wear an anti-formula feeding T-shirt, even though I breastfeed. Every woman's experience is different, and none can be summed up in a T-shirt.
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#14 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 10:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sunnysideup View Post
I think it plays to to the mentality that women choose natural childbirth to prove something or win an award.
I agree.
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#15 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 10:49 PM
 
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I don't have strong feelings one way or another but I wouldn't wear it.

I haven't finished Childbirth Without Fear because I never have time to read. I do believe birth can be painless, since I know women who have experienced it that way. But my 2nd birth was just my husband and me, no fear, no discomfort (emotionally), etc. It still hurt like hell.

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#16 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 10:53 PM
 
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I think epidurals are scary personaly. A huge long needle into my spine... not for the faint of heart.
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#17 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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I have to say, my first reaction was

Quote:
I think epidurals are scary personaly. A huge long needle into my spine... not for the faint of heart.
Yeah. That. Having it placed was no picnic.

For me, epidural was the first step before unwanted major abdominal surgery. And since it didn't take all the way, I got to feel my innards being stitched back together. Definitely not for "sissies."

I agree with others who found it to be not offensive, exactly, but petty and childish...and IMO, pretty clueless too.
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#18 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 10:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I think it's funny but I would never wear it.

(and of course there is a time and place for everything- even epidurals)

-Angela
:

I generally don't like shirts with sayings on them. That shirt, and the ones that were at target that said something like sign me up for the epidural are both annoying
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#19 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 11:00 PM
 
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I think it's very funny, but I don't think I'd wear it.

I had an epidural, because I'm a sissy.

Quote:
I don't understand. Why should it be that a natural physiological process should be painful outside of complications? I'm now firmly convinced that everyone should read the works of Dr. Grantly Dick-Read.
Running a marathon hurts, too. Gas pain hurts, sometimes pooing hurts, vomiting hurts, breastfeeding while pregnant hurts. why should your pelvis coming apart to admit the passage of a skull not hurt?
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#20 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 11:06 PM
 
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I generally don't like shirts with sayings on them. That shirt, and the ones that were at target that said something like sign me up for the epidural are both annoying
Yeah, see, I think this is every bit as clueless. So I surely have no pro-medical-intervention-agenda. Maybe an anti-snappy-sayings-on-a-t-shirt-agenda.
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#21 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 11:15 PM
 
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I hate it. I don't find it funny at all. I find it to be totally insensitive and misogynistic. I didn't have an epidural with either of my births but I have supported women who I love through their births and two of them had epis. I would call them amazing strong beautiful goddess-women and nothing less. I hate that often 'advocacy' translates as one-upmanship, condescention and also often neglects to take into account the infinite variety of experiences and situations in which people find themselves.

And I feel the same as Annette regarding doctor so-and-so.
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#22 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 11:17 PM
 
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I'm not so much offended as I am just The only reply I can come up with is 'How petty'


There are so many variables for an epidural that the t-shirt is just a blanket statement for me.... I can see the third grade humor that comes into play, but if I saw someone wearing the shirt....I would laugh at them not with them :
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#23 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 11:21 PM
 
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I guess it's all in what you (general "you") choose to project into the world.

We are all women and we all are in this together-- and we all deserve to choose what best fits our lives, our level of comfort, and our sensibilities about our own bodies, our own babies and our own values.

I do believe there will be unity amongst us all someday when we honor everyone's needs regardless.

But heck... that's just me.

J.

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#24 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 11:32 PM
 
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I DO see the humor

however.............

Quote:
I would be slightly offended but I get the point...

I wanted to have a natural birth but after 30+ hours of labor (total labor was 41 hours) I needed some medical intervention...sometimes there isn't a lot of choice...
I was in labor 33 ACTIVE hours and got no farther than a 3 ........ we can debate all night about WHY and what could have been different .... but that was the situation........ then after pushing 3 hours, unmedicated, i had the Epdural again for the forcepts.

so

i DO see the humor, and to a limited extent even agree -- but uhhhhh I'd not go there.

there are so many better ones

AImee

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#25 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 11:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by vloky View Post
About the same here, it took 26 hours (at hospital a bit longer at home)to get to 4cm and at that point I took the epidural and within half an hour I was at 10. I guess my family on my dads side has stubborn cervixes, my cousin even with the epidural never made it past I think 3. (after nearly 40 hours they did a c-section..)

Yeah, I never got past 4, and then I had a c-section. Never had an epi cause my hopsital doesn't do them, or at least rarely. I will always wonder if it might have worked. Oh yeah, I'm still ticked I didn't get one.

I still laughed at the t-shirt, though. I wouldn't wear it.

oh, and getting that spinal for the c-section was not for sissies either.
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#26 of 113 Old 09-26-2007, 11:41 PM
 
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All I can say is yuck.
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#27 of 113 Old 09-27-2007, 12:41 AM
 
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I think that it is way too simplistic. I know of a few moms who had very late losses who preferred not having to feel labor because their babies were gone. And many of these women were very positive on having med-free births and had them with all their other children.

I have to admit, though, my first reaction was, "Gee, I guess I really should have toughed it out when my epidural failed in the middle of my c/s."

Celina
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#28 of 113 Old 09-27-2007, 12:42 AM
 
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I think it's mean and self righteous. I wouldn't think much of the wearer, kwim?
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#29 of 113 Old 09-27-2007, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I read the works of Dr. Grantly Dick-Read and think that his works were a load of misogynistic hooey. I've had four births, all different, but all involved some degree of pain or another, with no major complications. It didn't seem prudent to listen to a man tell me how birth "should" be, seeing how he has never gone through it. Personally, I don't think telling women birth shouldn't be painful if they do it right is the path to more natural childbirths. This is probably for another thread though.
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#30 of 113 Old 09-27-2007, 11:36 AM
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Oh, and I find the t-shirt to be petty and insensitive, very discouraging and belittles women's birth experience (which was quite possibly one of the most incredible moments of their lives)..not cool.
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