"Wait, DON'T PUSH!" - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 02:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
Halfasianmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When do you, or when have you heard this admonition and simply ignored it? I'm wondering about the dangers or the consequences of holding the baby in while some doctor fetches his gloves or while some nurse runs down the hall to find some doctor...Seeing as this will be my first birth, I'd really like to listen to my body and go with what happens, instead of being a good little patient and waiting to perform when everyone is ready.

How do you/did you politely say "too bad, I'm pushing cause I have to"?
Halfasianmomma is offline  
#2 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 03:00 PM
 
N8'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: On the golf course
Posts: 1,655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hear of doctors saying this all the time. I want to know
how in the world someone expects you to hold that baby in?
I would just say, "suck it up doc or nurse...this kid is coming out
whether you like it or not."
N8'sMom is offline  
#3 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 03:04 PM
 
angelpie545's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Near water, with a refreshing rain
Posts: 6,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Holding a baby in can be very dangerous for both mother and child. It can cause injury to the mother, and it can deprive the baby of oxygen and cause possible brain damage and death (babies have died this way years ago when they used to tie a mother's legs shut to keep the baby in). It would be well best to just ignore it when they tell you to stop pushing, no matter how freaked out they and you may be.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

angelpie545 is offline  
#4 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 03:17 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Step one: Make sure the baby'll come out onto something (the bed, the floor, your hands)
Step two: Get baby out.
Step three: Laugh at the doctor and tell him/her that "don't push!" was an idiotic thing to say and they need to learn not to say it.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#5 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 04:45 PM
 
DoomaYula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
With my twins, as soon as my water broke (about 8h into labor) I felt the urge to push. I was *supposed to* give birth in an OR ("just in case") so the nurses wheeled me down to an OR, shrieking at me not to push the whole time. riiiiiiiiight. I clearly remember feeling that the babies were coming out of me, whether I pushed or not! I'd like to know how you can NOT push, when you're having that urge!

treehugger.gif Erika
mom of twins.gif (8)  blahblah.gif(5) thumbsuck.gif (3) and baby.gif born at home on Christmas day! 
DoomaYula is offline  
#6 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 04:48 PM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 16,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What would *I* do? Push anyway. My body.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
#7 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 04:54 PM
 
GooeyRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think I would have been able to not push. My body pushed on its own.
GooeyRN is offline  
#8 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 05:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
Halfasianmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Step one: Make sure the baby'll come out onto something (the bed, the floor, your hands)
Step two: Get baby out.
Step three: Laugh at the doctor and tell him/her that "don't push!" was an idiotic thing to say and they need to learn not to say it.
:

Noted for future reference
Halfasianmomma is offline  
#9 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 06:49 PM
 
dogmom327's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 5,738
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm quite certain I would be very bad and say something that starts with an "F" and is followed by "you" Then I'd push my heart out and catch my own baby.

Mama to DS (6/07) h20homebirth.gif, DD (6/09) h20homebirth.gif, and DD (07/12) homebirth.jpg..

dogmom327 is offline  
#10 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 07:00 PM
 
sunnymw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SWGA
Posts: 2,367
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
NOT pushing was the most painful experience of my life. Ugh. The doctor was apparently making mad passionate love to a nurse in a broom closet... they couldn't find him.

Sunny coolshine.gif: gun toting, retired breastfeeding, car seat loving, guitar playing, home birthing and schooling mama to Jakob (10.06), Mikah (07.08) and Korah (07.11). uc.jpg 

sunnymw is offline  
#11 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 07:43 PM
 
Smokering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,613
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Quote:
(babies have died this way years ago when they used to tie a mother's legs shut to keep the baby in).
They did WHAT? Oh man, that makes me sad.

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

Smokering is offline  
#12 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 07:44 PM
 
user_name's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 223
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's not like I had a choice -- like some PPs said, my body just takes over & if the baby's coming out, the baby's coming out!

And can you believe some deranged nurse actually tried to hold in my daughter because the OB wasn't there yet?! Truly a moment of "Mama Lioness" coming out in me: my husband did nothing (didn't plan on him exactly changing in that regard, though), and the nurse ignored my yelling to get away from me. As I was in a hands-and-knees position, and being completely ignored, I just began violently kicking in her general direction. She got the picture & so did everyone else there -- from that point on they really didn't mess with me or question anything we did (or didn't do, for that matter). Sad that I had to resort to violence, though...

Hopefully you have some care providers you trust & you won't have that problem!
user_name is offline  
#13 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 07:47 PM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 16,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by user_name View Post
It's not like I had a choice -- like some PPs said, my body just takes over & if the baby's coming out, the baby's coming out!

And can you believe some deranged nurse actually tried to hold in my daughter because the OB wasn't there yet?! Truly a moment of "Mama Lioness" coming out in me: my husband did nothing (didn't plan on him exactly changing in that regard, though), and the nurse ignored my yelling to get away from me. As I was in a hands-and-knees position, and being completely ignored, I just began violently kicking in her general direction. She got the picture & so did everyone else there -- from that point on they really didn't mess with me or question anything we did (or didn't do, for that matter). Sad that I had to resort to violence, though...

Hopefully you have some care providers you trust & you won't have that problem!


That just gave me a flashback to a nurse who tried to undress me as I wasn't "hurrying" enough & they had to check me "now."

Let's just say she'll NEVER do that again.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
#14 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 08:08 PM
 
Kappa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 675
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This happened to my Mom when she was having me. They told her to not push and wait for the doc, the nurse sucked it up though and just delivered me I don't think there was anything stupid like the nurse trying to push me back in. I'm alive and fine, delivered in a hospital with NO DOCTOR PRESENT. Oh the humanity...
Kappa is offline  
#15 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 08:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
Halfasianmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My MIL is a L&D nurse, and she tells me that a woman was brought in by a paramedic who had her sit up straight in the front seat of the ambulance, the reasoning being that if she was sitting up, the baby couldn't come out and she'd have to wait until they got to the hospital "for a doctor to do it properly".
Halfasianmomma is offline  
#16 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 08:25 PM
 
Viriditas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by GooeyRN View Post
I don't think I would have been able to not push. My body pushed on its own.
:
Viriditas is offline  
#17 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 08:27 PM
 
mama_ani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The only time I ever swore in labour was with my fourth child and the nurse told me not to push "the doctor isn't here yet!!" My response "*** the doctor, the baby is coming now!!"

Ironically with baby #2 the doctor was at HOME and the nurse & my mom caught dd & neither of them told me not to push.

mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
mama_ani is offline  
#18 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 08:45 PM
 
artgoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Suburban hell
Posts: 13,774
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had my DS in a hospital and the OB was not there when I was ready to push. Long story, not at all his fault, the OB on call was not allowed near me, so another OB was called in on his day off, who came in without complaint. Anyway the nurse took one look at me and my progress and said, "Art you had better slow down or *I'M* going to wind up catching this baby." to which I replied, "I'm okay with that." And so she did. The OB walked in the door just as his body was emerging. He did sort of a double take and grabbed some gloves very quickly, we have it on video, it's pretty funny when you see it now. I guess I can be thankful that no one told me not to push in a hospital. But typing a sentence that says I'm grateful they "allowed" me to do what my body needed to do naturally sounds just so wrong to me. I shouldn't have to think I'm lucky they "let" me labor for 34 hours with no mention of c/s either.
artgoddess is offline  
#19 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 08:51 PM
 
4 in 2005's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 170
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't push when the Dr wasn't there because I did not want the freaking out nurse to catch my baby. However she was still coming. I was panting to avoid pushing and she was still coming out. It hurt like HECK and I had the burning pain I have had when I tore. The OB said that was proably why I tore because of the prolonged pressure DD put on me.

I will NEVER do that again. I would say get ready cause baby is coming NOW!

It was funny, they were giving us the play by play of where the OB was. She didn't have time to get ready, she just washed her hands and put on gloves. She lost her keys throwing them on the window sill. She even told me the next day she told the nurses when they called and said I was ready to get her no matter what she was doing. She walked out on some woman's pap smear and still almost didn't make it. LOL!

Jennifer
4 in 2005 is offline  
#20 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 09:27 PM
DBZ
 
DBZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,905
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was asked to not push, but I think it was so the OB could manipulate the shoulder and I didn't listen. My DD had a limp arm for a few days. In my birth plan I am asking that if the midwife doesn't want me to push to say why so I understand. Some reasons not to push are important.

ETA - A doc not being present is not a valid reason to tell a mom not to push. I don't see how the body could handle doing that. I'd be very happy to have a hospital UC

Kara, single mom of 4 girls (5, 8, 16 and 19) crochetsmilie.gif
Kids have strokes too! superhero.gif 

DBZ is offline  
#21 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 09:46 PM
 
Jane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Kenmore, Washington
Posts: 7,110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
They really need to say what they mean, which is usually, "Please hold on long enough to let me get my gloves on!"

Homebirth Midwife biggrinbounce.gif

After 4 m/c, our stillheart.gif is here!

Jane is offline  
#22 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 09:52 PM
 
momoftworedheads's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,230
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
First of all, your body will push the baby out on its own. Even if a Dr/MW/nurse tells you not to push, it's not like that urge goes away! With my 3rd son, I told the MW I have to push and out my son came. She was not ready at all. Thank goodness I planned on catching him myself.

I cannot believe how Drs, etc expect a woman not to listen to her own bosy's signals. Crazy!

Take care!

Jen, mama to  (M-13, N- 10, C- 8 rainbow1284.gif J- 3.5, and rainbow1284.gifJ -2, angel3.gifA (10/4/07) and 3 early losses)
We are expecting baby #7 in November 2013

momoftworedheads is offline  
#23 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 09:54 PM
 
DanelleB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Jefferson County, MO
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Telling a laboring woman not to push is like telling someone not to sneeze. It just can't be helped. The Dr almost didn't make it when DS was born because he was in surgery--the ped took one look and said "This baby isn't waiting!" What made me laugh was him "thanking" me for waiting for him. HA! I wasn't waiting for anyone, you just lucky, buddy.

~Danelle~ Mama to four wonderful, intact kiddos ~~ Cami (10), Jimmy (5), Ella & Alex (2/09), and Newbie due 8/11 
DanelleB is offline  
#24 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 10:15 PM
 
nccrunchymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Like a pp mentioned, if there's a good reason not to push, they should say so and by all means wait. But if it's just for staff convenience... just yell CATCH!!! My problem was opposite. After I pushed a while, I needed to rest through a contraction. I was so irritated with the nurse who kept yelling PUSH. I told her to shut up and I took my break. Baby came soon after.

My suggestion: just listen to your body. It knows what to do.

mom to 2 wonderful girls born 11/05 and 10/08
nccrunchymama is offline  
#25 of 80 Old 02-19-2008, 10:27 PM
 
suearoo22's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This happened with my youngest DD, I had a very fast labor less then an hour and she told me to wait the dr was coming. I told her I did not care who caught the baby and she better get someone else in there if she was not OK with it. A resident came running in and lifted the baby off the bed, oh gee thanks I could have done that LOL! The dr made it 10 minutes later and could not believe I did not wait, yeah like he ever had to wait to give birth jerk.
suearoo22 is offline  
#26 of 80 Old 02-20-2008, 12:08 AM
 
N8'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: On the golf course
Posts: 1,655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Do they tell you to wait on the doctor because he or she can't get
paid unless they actually are the ones to deliver the baby??
N8'sMom is offline  
#27 of 80 Old 02-20-2008, 12:30 AM
 
Jane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Kenmore, Washington
Posts: 7,110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think it matters really. If the person delivers before reaching the hospital, then the person who delivers the placenta can be the person paid for the delivery. But if you're in house, it's still under the supervision of the doc.

Homebirth Midwife biggrinbounce.gif

After 4 m/c, our stillheart.gif is here!

Jane is offline  
#28 of 80 Old 02-20-2008, 02:46 AM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thing is, if they meant "don't push on purpose" that'd be almost okay since ideally your body's doing the pushing anyway. What's the line "wait to push until you can't not push"?

But I suspect that the same person who says "don't push" because their end of things isn't ready is the one who'd be shouting "push, come on, push" just because there's 10 cm of dilation if they did have their gloves and such.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#29 of 80 Old 02-20-2008, 02:50 AM
 
myllissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 98
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The OB told me the same thing. HA! Like I had ANY control over that urge. It was the strongest urge I have ever had in my life and I had no say in the matter. My body was taking over no matter what the doctor said.

Myllissa (31) + DH (32)  = DS (4), & Expecting Baby #2 Due Febuary 2013!

 

myllissa is offline  
#30 of 80 Old 02-20-2008, 02:52 AM
 
Vancouver Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
In most situations it is best to stop pushing as the baby crowns to give the perineum time to stretch slowly and not tear. Is that what you're referring to? If not I agree with the pp that if your body is telling you to push, you're probably ready.

Diane, SAHM to DD (June 05) and DS (April 07).
::::
Vancouver Mommy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off