My very large ( 9lb 14oz) son was born very quickly due to the fact that I had a placental abruption as he was crowning. I was at home in a water tub and the midwives pulled me out of the water and urged me to push as hard as I could even though my contractions had stopped. The result was a happy, healthy baby boy born on the dining room floor and a lot of tearing to my body :....Then we had to drive to the hospital for me to get lots of lovely stitches...It was a long, painful healing process..now, 3 months later, the stitches have healed but I have a lot of anxiety over my scar, it seems to still be sensitive to the touch, and sex has been painful ( the few times I've managed to try...) Anyone had this experience of a bad tear and know a little of what the future holds?
So, I guess time is the best thing. I am sure others will have better suited advice.
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
You could always ask your MW to check you out and make sure that your healing has progressed as anticipated, which should lessen your own anxiety (which could only help, right?!).
My birth experience and tears weren't nearly as bad as yours sound but it has taken a long time to get back into sex. My tears and the resulting stitches healed within 6 weeks but even at 9 weeks, sex was painful and I wish I would have waited a lot longer. It's only recently that I feel like I'm fully back to normal. Part of it is probably physical but I know for me, part of it was likely psychological too. I found the birth experience to be a tad traumatic (not anyone's fault--the sensation of pushing him out just kind of caught me off guard) and so that whole part of my body just seemed a bit more sensitive. I finally explained it to DH by saying that he should imagine the worst pain he'd ever been in and then imagine if every time he wanted to have sex, that's the first thing that popped into his mind--not cool.
So no specific advice except that I wouldn't rush it. It's not worth it. Sex should be enjoyable and if it's not, don't do it! At some point things will return to normal
Mama to DS (6/07) , DD (6/09) , and DD (07/12) ..
Happily parenting our snuggly wild child since 2007 and her little brother since 2011!
don't rush yourself. You don't want to make it something traumatic for yourself. And yes, lots of lube is key. Our favorite is astroglide.
Autistic pagan mama with five kiddos on the spectrum, learning through living life.
Mama to Nell (11/15/06) and Maggie (10/9/10) . AFTER 2.5 YEARS, I AM AN AUNTIE!!! HOORAY TEAR78 and welcome Anika and Brand New Baby Boy!!!! Circumcision: the more you know, the worse it is; please leave the decision up to your son!
I second the idea of using a lubricant and going slowly.
The good news is I did heal and you will too!
Mom to James ( 5/2006), Claire ( 6/2008), furry kitties Calvin and Bob, and wife to Dennis.