What "they" say about how fast/hard subsequent labors are... true or false? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, so "they" say:
The first is the hardest!
The second is SO much easier!
The third is a wildcard!
The fourth resets the clock back!
No one seems to talk about 5+!

Did you find these rulings to be true with your own birth history?

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#2 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 09:10 PM
 
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well, statistically the first will be longer than the rest, and the second will likely be the shortest. "Easier", though? Not a chance. Less painfull? Forget about it. Quicker? yeah...
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#3 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 09:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll answer my own question.

First - Yes, it was my hardest so far, but I think it had a lot more to do with him being posterior the whole time with his hand up. Learning about www.spinningbabies.com helped me understand a lot more about optimal fetal positioning.

Second - Sure it was shorter than my first, but it was still the same amount of effort, just condensed into less hours. This is the ONLY positive thing "they" say, so I say if you're expecting your second baby, you might as well believe this!

Third - Wildcard? Ahhh, that has such a negative connotation. For me, my third was my easiest thus far. It was FAST (about 1 1/2 hours). But, I didn't need to hold fear about it being a wildcard.

Fourth - I'll tell you in a few months.

Why are these mostly so negative as if to put fear into pregnant women & degrade the confidence they have in their bodies?

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#4 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 09:20 PM
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Mine got shorter and easier. 12 hr (hard), 8 hr, 7hr, 3 hr. I had several weeks of prodromal labor w/ 3 and 4 though, and I think that helps when the real dance begins.

#1 was the only one that started at night too. I was definitely more tired going into it. W/ 2, 3, and 4 labor began in the morning (around 6-7 am) so I was more rested and generally more giddy about the whole thing.
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#5 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 09:21 PM
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first: 8 hr labour, in retrospect harder through inexperience more than anything.
second: 4 hr labour, mentally much better prepared so handled well, but brutal on my body. Pushing was so fast I was bruised all over the whole "birth" area!
third: 2hr labour, super painful, but so much better mentally and body definitely handled the shock of it better.
fourth: one and half hour: best ever, but birthed in water for this which might account for some of that. body bounced back! Head space is everything!

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#6 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 10:39 PM
 
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First was traumatic, but that had more to do with the people who surrounded me.

Second was fastest.

Third was the best overall although the longest.

Fourth was BY FAR the hardest although the second quickest.

Haven't had a fifth yet, so I can't comment there. Yet.
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#7 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spark View Post
Okay, so "they" say:
The first is the hardest!
The second is SO much easier!
The third is a wildcard!
The fourth resets the clock back!
No one seems to talk about 5+!

Did you find these (fear-based) rulings to be true with your own birth history?
My first was very textbook at 12 hours but AROM.
My second was MUCH longer/harder than my 1st at 22 hours.
My third was LOVELY and my favorite of all my labors at 6 hours
My fourth was second hardest because it was so FAST at 45 minutes.
My fifth was very similar to my 3rd, same amount of time but more anxious because of the super fast labor with #4.

 Keri wife and Mama to  Cory 17,  Brendan 15,  Kerianne 8,  Avery 7,  Lilia 3
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#8 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 11:24 PM
 
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Number two was my favorite ! Three and four were prodromal then way fast, this one seems to be following suit. Sigh. I'm ready for baby!!!!!!
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#9 of 39 Old 05-12-2008, 11:34 PM
 
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1. 10 hours with face up baby. AROM. Birth within 10 minutes of that. Pushed maybe 4 times
2. 10 hours with position cooperating baby (that made it easier by itself!). ROM at pushing. Birth happened in 2 pushes.

I got the short end of that theory! I have reason to believe they both would have been shorter had certain things not happened though I think they would be the same length as each other regardless! Both were short pushing phases. #2 was out in maybe 1.5 minutes.

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#10 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 12:02 AM
 
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I only have two. My 2nd birth was way faster, and easier, but just as intense and painful. It was less scary. I was at home though, and I think that made a huge difference. I decided not to go for the wildcard.

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#11 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 12:02 AM
 
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1st was long and difficult with an OP baby. About 56 hours total, with about 20 of it hard labor, 3 hours of pushing.
2nd was an induction, 4 hours of real labor, 20 minutes of pushing.
3rd was a homebirth, I went to 42+1 and had about 3 hours of hard labor with 15 minutes of pushing.
4th was a homebirth, by far my most intense and difficult transition, total labor of about 3 hours and she was out in just a few real good pushes.
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#12 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 12:07 AM
 
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Baby 1 - labored for 7 hours, pushed 45 minutes
Baby 2 - labored 3 hours, pushed 45 seconds
Baby 3 - labored 6 hours, pushed 3 minutes

No real rhyme or reason, far as I can tell. My babies go from biggest to smallest, so that's unusual, too, and baby 3 was born at home. I tend to think that baby 1 would have come after maybe 15-20 minutes of pushing if I hadn't been flat on my back. :

There are too many variables. I think some of those things are generally true (baby 2 being faster than baby 1, for instance), but not true enough for any individual woman to count on.

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#13 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 12:12 AM
 
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Birth 1 (twins, cervidil induction): 8h labor, ROM just before pushing, manageable pain, pushing hurt.

Birth 2: PROM, no contrax for 8h, very painful 5h labor, pushing felt good.

Birth 3: Prom, no contrax for 48h, very fast and furious 90 minute labor, pushing hurt.

I don't know if we'll have another.

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#14 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 01:09 AM
 
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I've never thought of wildcard as being a negative statement. I'd always thought that wildcard meant it was totally up in the air as far as whether or not the birth would be easier or harder than previous. Wildcard = unknown in my mind

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#15 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 01:14 AM
 
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First 3 h 50 min very quick and intense
Second 8 h 30 min very painful, intense, and felt like FOREVER
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#16 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 01:16 AM
 
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Same here, georgia. I've thought the generalizations (1st longer, 2nd shorter, 3rd who knows?) to be kind of silly, although very loosely statistically based, but never fear based.



The first being longer gestation and 2nd shorter is also a statistical "truth" that means almost nothing at the individual level. My older brother was born at 37 weeks, and me at 41. (Although Naked Baby's gestation was exactly the length predicted by the Woods-Nichols due date for primips, after I had ovulated on day 14, the textbookiness of which always tickles me.)
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#17 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 01:17 AM
 
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My first child was born during a non-medicated hospital birth. It took me 4 hours of active labor and half an hour of pushing to get him out. My second baby was born at home in a birthing tub. I was in active labor for I can't even remember how long and pushed for 16 hours. Now that was a very long, tough labor.

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#18 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 03:00 AM
 
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I tried to post and got timed out. My post disappeared.

Hopefully it will work this time.

First: 12 hours total. It all seemed like hard labor to me. 2 hours pushing. C/sec.

Second: 13 hours total. 9 hours early labor. 4 hours hard labor/pushing. VBAC.

Third: 12 hours total. 7 hours early labor. 5 hours hard labor/pushing. VBAC.

Fourth: 9 hours total. 6 hours early labor. Water broke during early labor. 3 hours hard labor. 5 cm to 10 cm = 20 min. VBAC. Last hospital birth.

Fifth: 14 hours total. 12 hours early labor. Woke to hard labor. 2 hours later we had a baby. HBAC.

Sixth: 6 hours total. 6 hours hard labor/pushing. HBAC.

Seventh: Started at 6 cm dilated before labor began. 2 hours total. 2 hours hard labor/pushing. HBAC.

Eighth: 12 hours total. 10 hours early labor. Woke up to 2 hours hard labor/pushing. Easiest birth... just nudged baby out. HBAC.
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#19 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 03:16 AM
 
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I'm hoping my second is shorter than my first. I didn't have a particiluarly long labour (16 hours) but 5 or so of that was pushing, and I went into labour in the evening and laboured overnight, so I was pretty exhausted.
"They" say the second labour is about half as long as the first (it was true for my mom, who went 20 hrs with me and 10 with my brother) so I'm hoping for an 8 hour or so labour, but I'm definitely not counting on it. I'd love a shorter second stage though! I had one dream where the baby was out in a couple pushes, and one where I never got the urge to push, and iono, I guess I stayed pregnant, lol!

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#20 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 03:40 AM
 
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#21 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 03:44 AM
 
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1st- 18 hours, hard, i made a lot of noises, but did not yell or scream!
2nd- 6 hours, easy! During this labor one of my nurses, said to the other one, boy i cant believe she is breathing through those strong contractions, i was relaxed and calm through the whole labor, could easily handle the pain, i was very quiet, after i delivered my second baby i told everyone that it was so easy, that i could do it everyday and i meant it!
3rd- 12 hours, agony is the only way i can describe it! By far the worst pain in my life, even worst then my kidney stone pain! I screamed at the top of my lungs for along time, begging someone to help me, the nurses said afterwords that they felt so sorry for me. I was given many doses of stadol and it didn't even really take the edge off of the pain, all it did was make me more and more wacky after each shot! I'm not sure why my 3rd was so so hard and painful, except this was my biggest baby (8 lbs. 14 oz.) and i'm pretty small, but i don't know because my 2nd was pretty big too (8lbs. 7oz ), i wonder if it could be because it was an induced labor, by pitocin and my other 2 were not induced! Does anyone know if this could make a labor alot more painful?
I'd be willing to bet it was the pit. I've heard it makes a HUGE difference. Though, I had pit for PPH and didn't feel it at all. Course I was busy trying not to bleed to death.

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#22 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 09:15 AM
 
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#1 - textbook length
#2 - 1 hr. 40mins.
#3 - right in between and pretty easy.

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#23 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 09:34 AM
 
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#1: 6 hours total, probably 3 hours of active labor, I never really pushed: my body ejected him. It was a great birth, except he came out too fast at the very end, and I had a bad tear (of course, lithotomy position had something to do with that).

#2: 2 hours total, most of which was actually in the last 35-40 minutes, my body again ejected the baby without conscious effort on my part: very fast and intense. The birth was better because we were home, and there was a break after his head was born before the rest followed, so no significant tearing. But, the laboring was much more difficult because it was so fast and intense, and I was kind of shell-shocked afterwards.

#3: I'm hoping for something a bit longer and more gradual than #2.

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#24 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 09:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by georgia View Post
I've never thought of wildcard as being a negative statement. I'd always thought that wildcard meant it was totally up in the air as far as whether or not the birth would be easier or harder than previous. Wildcard = unknown in my mind
Oh, that's wonderful then! Maybe I should edit that out "(fear-based)" of the OP then. I felt like it was a "You handled the others, but you might not be able to this next one! Woooooo!" But, I don't want to frighten anyone who thought it was a positive statement!

In my DDC I have counted 3 women in the last few days who posted how scared they were about the 3rd as a wild card... like they couldn't count on their body.

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#25 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 10:56 AM
 
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Oh wow, no I don't think it means your body can't/won't do it, or that it would be unknown=harder. It just means that you don't know, they're always different and you can't predict what it'll be like (could be 2 hours of pain free birth, or could be just like you first one, who knows?) but it doesn't have to be a bad thing.
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#26 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 10:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Spark View Post
Okay, so "they" say:
The first is the hardest!
The second is SO much easier!
The third is a wildcard!
The fourth resets the clock back!
No one seems to talk about 5+!

Did you find these rulings to be true with your own birth history?
First was definitely the hardest. Part of it was the unknown element.
Second was easier.
Third was fast, overwhelming and emotionally difficult (due to death of previous baby at one month).
Fouth was longest and most difficult physically excepting the first. Also my only 9lb+ baby, the others were all 8lbs-ish.
Fifth was more like the third in length, but with the physical and emotional memories of 4 other labours flooding back in and making me a wreck at transition. Still only about 4-5 hours of me being certain this was "it".
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#27 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 11:43 AM
 
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#1: 22 hours labor, most of it not too hard - but the last couple hours of first stage were really, really hard as I got increasing less of a break between cx, ending in a 20-minute long series of cx with no break at all. 1.5 hours pushing.

#2: 20 hour labor. So not as fast as I'd hoped! The cx got just as difficult at the end, but I got a few minutes break between them all the way through, so it was a lot easier. 19 minutes pushing (very intense pushing stage, happened faster than expected).

#3: 1 hour labor! And actually less intense than the final hour of my other births - I was truly shocked when the mw said I was fully dilated, I just didn't feel like it had been hard enough for me to be done. 10 minutes pushing. This was after a few episodes of prodromal labor (which I had not had before) which I think primed my body to do it's work fast once the real thing started. So, a wild card in a good way.
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#28 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 01:47 PM
 
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My first was hard--6 hours.

My second was a breeze--4 hours and painless

My third was "easy"--4 hours, uncomplicated--but very painful.
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#29 of 39 Old 05-13-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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I've only had two, but my thoughts (with my Mom's and my sister's experiences too):

First, I think it is best to 'exclude' births which were induced or 'augmented' with pitocin from the conversation ... as it seems that those births will usually be more painful, and often cascade into further interventions etc. which could change the length of labors.

Second - I too have always interpreted 'wild card' to mean that anything could happen. I hadn't heard the OP's version of how things happened - my mother says that the first is the longest, the others are quicker but that "you never know," sometimes there can be a slower one again.

For me -
#1 I was in labor (recognized) from about 9pm to 4:30am -- it wasn't too tough, she was posterior 'til nearly the end though.

#2 I was in recognized labor from about 5pm to 6:30 pm (when SJ was born). I think I pushed about the same amount of time with her as with Ina. Pushing was easy (and felt good) with both. NCBs both girls, hospital births.

My sister has had three. Her first labor was longer for our family (I think 10 hours?) - middle labor, the doctor stopped to check on her during her lunch hour and said "OK, you can push! (My sister was at 10cm but not 'pushy' yet, no pain meds); with her third, a fast, easy labor as well (but she did know when she hit 10 cm!).

My mother had seven.
#1 - nearly 18 hours of knowing she was in labor, easy delivery.
#2 - 1 1/2 hours of labor (easy)
#3 - 5-6 hours of labor (easy)
#4 - 1 hour of labor (easy)
#5 - 8/10 hours of labor (easy in the end)
#6 - 5-6 hours of labor (easy)
#7 - 2 months premature, Mom's most difficult labor, most pain, and longest pushing (she says her body was obviously not ready to deliver, even though TK was ready to come!).

My mother's sister had five, and each came faster (a few before the doctor arrived) - except her last, where she labored for quite awhile and then when she pushed, babe was born explosively quickly - cord wrapped multiple times 'round her neck, which had made the labor longer.

My other sister had two babes, the first was a 8 hour labor (and 'held off pushing' for half an hour 'til the doctor arrived! ) - the other was a Pit labor induction, and she says that it was 'easier' and 'harder' - she doesn't want to say that the Pit is what made it painful, she thinks it was her babe's size which made it difficult.

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#30 of 39 Old 05-14-2008, 07:55 AM
 
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Okay- Alex, my first, was long, slow and gentle on both me and him. Rowan, my 24-weeker (I normally think of her as 2a in these lists) was born 36 hours after ROM, but I chose drugs as well. Isaac was faster but more difficult, and had shoulder dystocia, then Skye's was the true wildcard- lots of prodromal labour and then a stop-start labour pattern. In the end, I condensed all of active labour into 3 contractions- I know we've talked about this before.

2 odd things happened when River was born- the prodromal labour actually stopped and was replaced with true early labour- irregular, productive contractions over the course of 3-4 days. When labour actually happened, it was precise- or effective- whichever word you like best. Every contraction had a powerful effect on our bodies, turning and mobilising us to separate. It was powerful. It also hurt like hell

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