Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 512 Old 07-25-2008, 03:32 PM
 
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Oh, I sincerely hope that he and Mark didn't get together to confer on your poop afterwards!! I would definitely have kicked him!!

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#302 of 512 Old 07-25-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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I don't know. I posted about it a few months ago.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=830292

I just read your other post that you linked....did they ever get back to you about the nurse and what she did? or are you still waiting? I am still cringing....sometimes when I wash "down there" it gets irritated and that is just the outside.......I cant imagine how it must have been for you
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#303 of 512 Old 07-25-2008, 03:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mytwogirls View Post
Ohhh I have to add another one I just thought of when I was watching my first daughter's birth video. While I was pushing my 9lbs 2oz posterior girl out (and I am only 100lbs myself so you could imagine!) my hubby was watching me push and then looked up at me with HUGE eyes and said "Oh my god it is really true!"
I said "What is true?" as I am still pushing.
He said "Well, Mark (his fishing buddy) said women poop during delivery, but wow you just pooped a WHOLE bunch. I thought he was telling me a lie."
Ohhhh I could have kicked him in the head after that. :

laughup I had the nurse talk about how huge my *ahem* during delivery was but thankfully my doula gave her hell.
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#304 of 512 Old 07-25-2008, 06:07 PM
 
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I only found out the other day that I pooped in labour with DD and NOT when I was pushing! DH never mentioned it to me until we were talking about how if that happens this time he needs to fish it out of the pool. I didn't think I had done it last time or if I had that it was when I was pushing and DH was up by my head. Bless him for never mentioning it and embarrassing me.

Stupidest thing said to me in labour was the midwife when I first arrived. I had only been in labour for a few hours but went ahead and came in because they were every two minutes and sometimes double peaked already. My mom had all of her babies in under six hours so I was conscious of the possibility that I could be a fast birther, even for a first-timer. When I was approaching the birth centre desk to check in I stopped to have a contraction and then about one minute later, had to stop and have another one. The midwife rolled her eyes and said "Oh, come on now, that can't be another one already, you're probably 2cm at most." Turns out I was only 4cm but DD was posterior so that explained the cntx being so close together. Stupid cow. :

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#305 of 512 Old 07-25-2008, 09:03 PM
 
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Stupidest thing said to me in labour was the midwife when I first arrived. I had only been in labour for a few hours but went ahead and came in because they were every two minutes and sometimes double peaked already. My mom had all of her babies in under six hours so I was conscious of the possibility that I could be a fast birther, even for a first-timer. When I was approaching the birth centre desk to check in I stopped to have a contraction and then about one minute later, had to stop and have another one. The midwife rolled her eyes and said "Oh, come on now, that can't be another one already, you're probably 2cm at most." Turns out I was only 4cm but DD was posterior so that explained the cntx being so close together. Stupid cow. :
Yea thats pretty stupid. When I had ptl my contrax were every 2 min (and confirmed on the monitor) and I was only 1 cm.

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#306 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 01:06 PM
 
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I've been reading this to my DH and he reminded me of one!

We had been planning a UC with our first and when my older brother found out he had plenty to say. He actually called me up one day to ask me some questions and when my "hippy dippy" answers didn't satisfy him he ended the conversation with this gem:

Him: What are you going to do when your laying on your living room floor bleeding everywhere and have a placenta sliding all over the wood floor? Bring your dog in to help with the clean up?

Not his finest moment.

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#307 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 01:35 PM
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I've been reading this to my DH and he reminded me of one!

We had been planning a UC with our first and when my older brother found out he had plenty to say. He actually called me up one day to ask me some questions and when my "hippy dippy" answers didn't satisfy him he ended the conversation with this gem:

Him: What are you going to do when your laying on your living room floor bleeding everywhere and have a placenta sliding all over the wood floor? Bring your dog in to help with the clean up?

Not his finest moment.
Wow. What a peach.

I totally would have replied, "No way in heck is the DOG going to eat my placenta - it's for company. When can you come for supper, brother?"
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#308 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 05:48 PM
 
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I think this may be my favorite thread of all time!

Is it wrong of me to hope that someone says something stupid during MY birth so I can add a story, too? Not hurtful-stupid, of course, but just hilarious-stupid.

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#309 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 06:07 PM
 
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This thread is too funny!
The nurse said, "just do a little push." It was followed by, "that wasn't a little push."
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#310 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 07:17 PM
 
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Wow. What a peach.

I totally would have replied, "No way in heck is the DOG going to eat my placenta - it's for company. When can you come for supper, brother?"

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#311 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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I think this may be my favorite thread of all time!

Is it wrong of me to hope that someone says something stupid during MY birth so I can add a story, too? Not hurtful-stupid, of course, but just hilarious-stupid.
Oh I'm sure. I think a lot of people just don't know *what* to say at a birth, but don't have the good sense to keep their mouths SHUT!

-----------------

I've got one from DH, not during the actual birth, but I'd been having pre-labour off and on for a couple weeks before DD was born. She was born November 25th 2006, and my birthday is Nov 23rd, which also happened to be Thanksgiving that year. So DH has his friend over for our little thanksgiving dinner, they're cooking a turkey and everything (I'm a vegetarian, so I left that up to them) and I was having some pretty good contractions (and back labour, she was posterior) AND it was my birthday, and DH starts asking me to make candied yams. I was like "Make them yourself, I'm having contractions on my birthday and I'm NOT in the mood to cook!" and he kept insisting that he didn't know how to make them (I told him step by step but he kept saying he'd mess them up somehow and that I'd make them better) Grrrrr!!! :

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#312 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 08:00 PM
 
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#313 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 08:58 PM
 
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OMFG. That's horrible! : How did you know it was your uterus? Did you know right then what she was doing or did you find out later? Did anything bad happen as a result of this? I ask because I am reading my medical records for the first time today and am finding a TON of stuff that no one told me happened.
That's funny. I requested my medical records and noticed there is stuff that happened that wasn't written down.

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#314 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 09:28 PM
 
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I had dd in the hospital because that is what my family wanted anyway I was having piggy back ctx lasting 70-90 seconds with a break of about 10-30 seconds between. I am NOT a quiet woman in labor especially with her so I was yelling as loud as I could during them and a nurse actually came in and told me I had to be quiet because I was scaring the other woman in labor :

I remember looking at her like she was a pile of steaming doggy : on the floor and I continued to loudly yell through the rest of my labor.

I dont regret for one minute yelling because it helped me cope with the pain and I wa able to still have dd after 12 hours of these piggy back ctx with no pain meds the way I wanted.

When the dr started stitching me up after cutting me which I had requested he NOT do. He stuck the needle in without numbing me first and when I said OUCH he said oh does that hurt : no I just like saying ouch for the fun of it. :

 
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#315 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 10:39 PM
 
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I just read your other post that you linked....did they ever get back to you about the nurse and what she did? or are you still waiting? I am still cringing....sometimes when I wash "down there" it gets irritated and that is just the outside.......I cant imagine how it must have been for you
The hospital just sent that one letter saying they were investigating. I haven't heard back from Johnsons since I signed a paper giving them permission to get a copy of my medical records from the hospital.

Brianna, mom to my always naked and singing Faye (9/07) and my chubby baby Bronwen (10/10).
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#316 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 10:48 PM
 
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I had dd in the hospital because that is what my family wanted anyway I was having piggy back ctx lasting 70-90 seconds with a break of about 10-30 seconds between. I am NOT a quiet woman in labor especially with her so I was yelling as loud as I could during them and a nurse actually came in and told me I had to be quiet because I was scaring the other woman in labor :

I remember looking at her like she was a pile of steaming doggy : on the floor and I continued to loudly yell through the rest of my labor.

I dont regret for one minute yelling because it helped me cope with the pain and I wa able to still have dd after 12 hours of these piggy back ctx with no pain meds the way I wanted.
This happened to me too, but luckily I didn't hear it or I sure would have had something to say! Everyone who was with me says a doctor or nurse came in and said I needed to be quiet cuz I was scaring the 17yr old in labor down the hall. She's just lucky I was too busy having a baby to hear her.

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#317 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 11:44 PM
 
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headed for the hospital at 9 1/2 cm. Dh had to stop for gas.

after having the baby a nurse argued with me over who was more tired. i had been in labor for 26 hours. I dropped it, b/c she wasn't/

Went into labor naturally, DD latched on right after birth, but didn't eat too much. She didn't want to wake up to eat. They kept threating to give her formula if I couldn't get her to wake up. I dind't know much with my 1st birth, but i did know that she had food stores saved up. They did give her sugar water, then i got smart and started lying to them.

They walked in and saw dh, dd, and i laying in bed resting, and told us not to do that b/c we would kill the baby.

(this one is actually funny)The midwife said "Oh my!" while i was pushing DD's head out. Totally freaked me out. When she saw the look on my face she explained. DD had knit her brows and looked around, trying to figure out what was going on. Very calmly you know. Her full head wasn't even out yet, she was only up to her nose.MW said "I have never seen a baby do that before."
(baby also did not cry after birth, but just looked around with this serious look as she tried to figure it all out.)

so that was all my first daughter.

nothing of note happened with #2 at the birth center.

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#318 of 512 Old 07-26-2008, 11:48 PM
 
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after having the baby a nurse argued with me over who was more tired. i had been in labor for 26 hours. I dropped it, b/c she wasn't.
Geez! When I got to the hospital I hadn't slept for at least two days and had been in labor for 20. I was so tired! And both nurses I had were complaining about how tired they were over and over! And my husband and sister were complaining about how tired they were. And I was so tired I wanted to cry! While I was pushing the nurse even closed her eyes and lowered her head in between contractions, because the poor woman was soooooo tired! Gah!

Brianna, mom to my always naked and singing Faye (9/07) and my chubby baby Bronwen (10/10).
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#319 of 512 Old 07-27-2008, 12:08 AM
 
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I've been reading this to my DH and he reminded me of one!

We had been planning a UC with our first and when my older brother found out he had plenty to say. He actually called me up one day to ask me some questions and when my "hippy dippy" answers didn't satisfy him he ended the conversation with this gem:

Him: What are you going to do when your laying on your living room floor bleeding everywhere and have a placenta sliding all over the wood floor? Bring your dog in to help with the clean up?

Not his finest moment.
Oh NO! What an a$$! So what did you say to him?
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#320 of 512 Old 07-27-2008, 12:38 AM
 
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In labor with my third I was moaning/ gutteral yelling during transition. My OB was so surprised she asked me if I wanted an epidural at 8cm. The nurses and I looked at her for a second and then went back to work. Maybe she'd never seen anyone productively using contractions?

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#321 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 01:18 PM
 
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The oddest thing for me was the first labor I ever witnessed. It was my friends little sister. She was around 17 and was in a lot of pain. She was moaning and crying and her grandma came in to "comfort" her. Yeah, she sat by her bed and held her hind, gently stroking it while she whispered in her ear, "you play you pay, sweety, you play you pay" over and over again. nice.

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#322 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 01:29 PM
 
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During my induced labor with no pain meds, I was in the birthing tub. My dp was there and the contractions were BAD. But we were doing great, I was completely in my own head, eyes closed, breathing through my contractions. (two hours later, the story was much different, but at this point, i was a trooper) So my mom came in... apparently it was alittle too quiet in there for her because she started asking the most ridiculous questions.
"So..... does this bath heat the water up by itself"
dp- no
"so... like will you have to put warm water in it again once it gets cold?"
dp- yes
"well will she have to get out or can you drain while shes in there?"
ME - STOP TRYING TO FILL THE SILENCE! SHUT UP OR GET OUT!!!!!
dp- *giggle*

she got out..

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#323 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 01:38 PM
 
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The oddest thing for me was the first labor I ever witnessed. It was my friends little sister. She was around 17 and was in a lot of pain. She was moaning and crying and her grandma came in to "comfort" her. Yeah, she sat by her bed and held her hind, gently stroking it while she whispered in her ear, "you play you pay, sweety, you play you pay" over and over again. nice.
Wow, that is disgusting.

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#324 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 01:57 PM
 
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The oddest thing for me was the first labor I ever witnessed. It was my friends little sister. She was around 17 and was in a lot of pain. She was moaning and crying and her grandma came in to "comfort" her. Yeah, she sat by her bed and held her hind, gently stroking it while she whispered in her ear, "you play you pay, sweety, you play you pay" over and over again. nice.
Uh wow. I would have decked her and started whispering in her ear "You say that kind of #@$% to a labouring woman, you pay."

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#325 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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When I was approaching the birth centre desk to check in I stopped to have a contraction and then about one minute later, had to stop and have another one. The midwife rolled her eyes and said "Oh, come on now, that can't be another one already, you're probably 2cm at most." Turns out I was only 4cm but DD was posterior so that explained the cntx being so close together. Stupid cow. :
I can relate to that one! : I had a really long posterior labor and my contractions were on top of each other and very strong right from the beginning. Of course, none of the staff believed me. Yes, I'm just being dramatic here to make your day more difficult - it's my new hobby!
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#326 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 02:32 PM
 
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I can relate to that one! : I had a really long posterior labor and my contractions were on top of each other and very strong right from the beginning. Of course, none of the staff believed me. Yes, I'm just being dramatic here to make your day more difficult - it's my new hobby!
: Dh kept saying well the contractions are close it must be any time now. ....................................16 hours later:

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#327 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 03:24 PM
 
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Let's see ... probably the resident who did a cervical check on me at the hospital. I did a natural birth in a hospital and worked with a doula. Resident charges in and announces she is going to break my bag of water. I informed her that no, no she wasn't breaking my bag of water, but she could examine me when I was ready. I was due for a contraction and started to have one when she was checking me. I yelled for her to get her hands out - NO NO NO OUT OUT OUT GET OUT is what I said. She looked positively disgusted. When I finished my contraction I told her to go ahead and resume the check, which she did in an extremely rough manner and it took her forever (my doula thinks this was purposeful, as she has never ever seen a longer cervical check in the 30 some years she has been involved with laboring women).

At the end of her cervical check, Resident tells me "you really need to get yourself under control.". Um, sure! My husband followed her out and told her under no circumstances was she permitted back in our room; if I needed to be checked, my doctor or the attending on duty would do so, and if she so much as stepped foot in the room, either he would escort her out, or security would.
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#328 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 05:19 PM
 
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At the end of her cervical check, Resident tells me "you really need to get yourself under control.". Um, sure! My husband followed her out and told her under no circumstances was she permitted back in our room; if I needed to be checked, my doctor or the attending on duty would do so, and if she so much as stepped foot in the room, either he would escort her out, or security would.
I love your husband!!!!

PookieMom, that story just breaks my heart. I'm sure that's not what she was needing at that moment.

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#329 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 07:04 PM
 
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Me: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it hurts it hurts it hurts.
L&D Nurse: SHUT UP. YOU CAN'T MAKE NOISE WHILE YOU PUSH.

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#330 of 512 Old 07-28-2008, 07:38 PM
 
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Me: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it hurts it hurts it hurts.
L&D Nurse: SHUT UP. YOU CAN'T MAKE NOISE WHILE YOU PUSH.
i can't believe all of the horrible stories. It makes me so angry for you.

Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

A Momma in love with her Little Women-Jewel Face, Jo Jo Bean, June Bug, and Sweet Coraline.

 

 

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