Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 512 Old 06-15-2008, 12:06 AM
 
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During our homebirth I went into the bathroom thinking I had some "cleaning out" left to do...having no clue whatsoever just how far along I was...and I sat down and realized I was pushing! I had called my mw an hour prior and told her not to come for awhile and she lives 45 mins away. So first I start calling out, "Um! I think I'm PUSHING!!....Yeah! OMG! I'm PUSHING! I'm PUSHING! OMG! I AM PUSHING!" lol. It felt like it took forever for dh to come in there. I found out later from my mom why it took him so dang long (she was there too to be with my ds). Dh heard me yelling out that I was pushing and proceeds to KNOCK on the bathroom door over and over again saying, "Rachel, is it ok if I come in? Can I come in please?" Of course I didn't even hear him. Finally my mom was like, "Jon! For pete's sakes! JUST GET IN THERE NOW!! STOP KNOCKING ON THE &%*@&$ DOOR" :

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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#242 of 512 Old 06-15-2008, 12:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Shelsi View Post
During our homebirth I went into the bathroom thinking I had some "cleaning out" left to do...having no clue whatsoever just how far along I was...and I sat down and realized I was pushing! I had called my mw an hour prior and told her not to come for awhile and she lives 45 mins away. So first I start calling out, "Um! I think I'm PUSHING!!....Yeah! OMG! I'm PUSHING! I'm PUSHING! OMG! I AM PUSHING!" lol. It felt like it took forever for dh to come in there. I found out later from my mom why it took him so dang long (she was there too to be with my ds). Dh heard me yelling out that I was pushing and proceeds to KNOCK on the bathroom door over and over again saying, "Rachel, is it ok if I come in? Can I come in please?" Of course I didn't even hear him. Finally my mom was like, "Jon! For pete's sakes! JUST GET IN THERE NOW!! STOP KNOCKING ON THE &%*@&$ DOOR" :
Too funny!
How nice that he knocked, though

Proud Catholic (30) and mama to V (10)
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#243 of 512 Old 06-15-2008, 12:21 AM
 
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My mom is still mad at me for not calling her with updates during my 30-odd hours of labour. Anything she said during my labour counts as stupid by default.
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#244 of 512 Old 06-15-2008, 12:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mommal View Post
While I was pushing, one of the nurses said "Ooo, there's a BIG deceleration on the monitor!" It was an absolutely terrifying thing to say to a woman in the midst of birthing a baby! My midwife just calmly said "The monitor is wrong. This baby is absolutely fine." And she was: about 5 minutes later my DD was born, bright pink and screaming her head off.
When I was in labor with ds, the monitor kept saying I was having contractions when I wasn't and that I was having peaks when nothing was going on. Also, they found the baby's heartbeat and strapped an external monitor on. He didn't like it and moved away. A couple of times they readjusted it, but he kept moving. Finally, they gave up and took it off. But when he was about to be born, in fear they put it on (until the doctor showed up? I can't remember - I was sort of busy) - for legal reasons. He still didn't register (but he came out screaming so I expect he was alive). So, you're midwife was more right than just making up stories. But, boy, did she have better tact than the nurse.
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#245 of 512 Old 06-15-2008, 12:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mntnmom View Post
Not exactly a labor one, but I had to share

A random lady at the store saw I was pregnant and asked which hospital I was going to.

Me: None actually, we're having him at home with a midwife
Her: oh, she can't give you drugs can she.
Me: No, but we're planning a drug free birth anyway.
Her: When those contractions hit you'll change your mind.
Me: Really? I did okay with the other 3.

She couldn't respond, just looked confused!
:
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#246 of 512 Old 06-15-2008, 12:52 AM
 
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Originally Posted by chpiper View Post
As a doula I have heard some pretty crazy stuff...here are a few that come to mind:

A teen mom who had been living at a crisis pregnancy center her entire pregnancy and was under nearly constant supervision...she is washing dishes with her house mom (they had been together all day) when she feels a huge gush of water...house mom says, well we better go to the hospital, looks like your water broke. They used a few towels to clean up and had her sit on a chux pad on the way over (which was wet by the time they got there)...they go to L&D and nurse examines her...she does a speculum test and states that her water did not break. The mom asks what else it could have been, (she was nearly certain it wasn't urine, she had actually emptied her bladder a few times during this whole event and was fairly sure that it was not urine...)the nurse said with all seriousness (and I am not kidding), well then I guess it is sperm...the mom said "But, there were puddles of it...big puddles", and the nurse said, yes, sometimes that happens...
:
Boy, am I getting my laugh exercises tonight! Your others were crazy but this takes the cake. Umm, was the lady like ... a virgin? Totally uninformed? Believed that a teen would believe anything?
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#247 of 512 Old 06-15-2008, 02:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by A_Random_Phrase View Post
So, you're midwife was more right than just making up stories. But, boy, did she have better tact than the nurse.
Oh, I know she was right, all right! That nurse was just an idiot, and I could tell my MW thought so, too. Earlier in labor the monitor slipped out of position and the same idiot nurse came and looked at the printout, shook her head sadly and said "Oh, I see you're not having any contractions." I was like "That comes as a surprise to me, as I'm having a big one right now."
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#248 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 12:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mommal View Post
Oh, I know she was right, all right! That nurse was just an idiot, and I could tell my MW thought so, too. Earlier in labor the monitor slipped out of position and the same idiot nurse came and looked at the printout, shook her head sadly and said "Oh, I see you're not having any contractions." I was like "That comes as a surprise to me, as I'm having a big one right now."
Sheesh!
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#249 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 01:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Baby Makes 4 View Post
I was 19 when my first baby was born. I managed 20 hours without drugs before I asked for some pain relief.

The nurse's response?

"Next time, use a condom."

She left and never did come back with drugs. She was obviously trying to teach me a lesson. :
This reminds me of what the on-call OB said to me when I was delivering my second baby, a child I was relinquishing for adoption. I asked for some pain meds--not an epidural, but something to take the edge off--and the OB said:

"Oh no, if you're giving this baby away, you need to remember every bit of this pain so you don't get yourself in this situation again."

Oh yeah. That's right. I was 20 and stupid. I should have sued his ass.
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#250 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 01:29 AM
 
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Oh my gosh - I am laughing so hard reading this thread. :-)

In my CBE yahoo group someone psoted about a birth they attended as a doula. THe mother was pushing and a nurse said encouragingly as the baby crowned "Oh - I see a lot of hair!".

To which the mother paused her pushing efforts to reply "Sorry. I didn't have time to shave before I came in."

LOL!

Angela <><
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#251 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 02:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by honeybee View Post
I think I'm going to give a specific script to my birth team for this next birth. Here are the ONLY things they're allowed to say (inbetween contractions)

--Answer a direct question by me.
--Tell me how great I'm doing.
--Ask me if I would like a drink or if I want a wet washcloth or need anything.

All other commentary is prohibited!
Birth attendents should be seen and not heard.

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Originally Posted by khanni View Post
It's no joke. I had homebirths with both my kids and had no urge to push with the first. After being fully dilated for quite some time, my CNM finally suggested I just start pushing anyway. I pushed for 4.5 hours before my daughter was born. It was frustrating, exhausting, counterintuitive, and excruciatingly painful.
I wonder what would have happened if you'd waited for the urge to push to come- maybe after 8 or 12 hours of rest, you could have had an easier time pushing?

I'm very happy to say that I don't have any personal anecdotes to add to this thread.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#252 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 03:07 AM
 
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My middle son's birth was EXTREMELY precipitous and at one point, my husband was on the phone telling the MW to HURRY...(I'd reached up inside and touched the baby's head/amniotic sac)...he comes running into the bathroom where I am on hands/knees and says "The MW says DON'T PUSH!"

I said (honestly trying not to push) "I'm TRYING not to push but my body is MAKING me!" He ran back to the phone and apparently passed that message on verbatim.

Whelp, to make a short story even shorter, about 10 minutes later--AFTER the baby was born, my MW runs in with one shoe on, bursts through the door, storms down the hallway and sees me in bed nursing.

The look on her face was priceless and she goes (kind of in a mock angry voice) "I thought I told you NOT to push."
: Good GAWD that pisses me off.

Anytime I hear a story about a mom being told not to push my blood pressure rockets through the roof. Jeez, ppl its NOT the MW's birth

Back in the day nurses were told to tie a womens legs together if the mother's body was trying to push her baby out before the doctor arrived. This happened to my Aunt who in turn had a severely brain damaged child as a result.

This is why I'm having an Unassisted birth with my future babies.

I also hate when the MW or OB's say, "Time to get the placenta out.":

MW said this and I told her, "No, I'm not ready yet. I don't feel any contractions yet, we should wait." To which she replied, "Oh, you don't feel any pain anyways, you won't feel any contractions to know when its time to deliver the placenta." Then without warning she said, "Now cough like you're a smoker." WTF? I'm not a SMOKER YOU <<insert UAV of choice here>> She proceeded to pull the cord in oder to take the placenta and AND her assistant says, "Uh, whats that?"

It was my uterus.

MW pulled part of my uterus out of my body. Ofcourse she pushed it back in and jammed down on my abdomen while trying to cover her a$$ by saying, "You're just bleeding a little more than expected." She LIED
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#253 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 10:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by fruitful womb View Post
:MW pulled part of my uterus out of my body. Ofcourse she pushed it back in and jammed down on my abdomen while trying to cover her a$$ by saying, "You're just bleeding a little more than expected." She LIED
OMG!!!!!!! :

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#254 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 11:12 AM
 
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fruitfulwomb... OMFG. I'm so sorry that happened. I don't think there's much I could say about your MW that wouldn't get me banned, so i'll just leave it at that.

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#255 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 04:08 PM
 
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fruitfulwomb, an excellent argument FOR UC. That is a terrifying experience - and after you alread told her "no" as plain as you could tell her. Sheesh.
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#256 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 04:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ishyfishie View Post
During my labor, I woke up in transition and was throwing up, which I almost NEVER do. I went to wake up dh and he said, "Do you think this is it?" Since I felt like I was just in constant, cramping pain without being able to distinguish contractions and since we had gone out for dinner the night before, I said, "I don't think so, I think I have food poisoning! How do you feel?"

He just stared at me and said, "Uh, I feel fine. I'm pretty sure you're in labor."
LOL I just read this one to dh and he said you should have named your LO "little baby Salmonella" LMAO

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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#257 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 04:25 PM
 
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LOL I just read this one to dh and he said you should have named your LO "little baby Salmonella" LMAO
Another nickname to add to the list! I have to tell dh that one. At the time, he was still shaking his head over how I woke him up--"Um, dh, I think I need you to be awake right now." I *meant* I was going to try to lay down but wanted him to wake up and rub my back, but I ended up running (well, waddlecreeping) back to the bathroom before I explained anything past that statement!

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#258 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 04:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mommal View Post
Oh, I know she was right, all right! That nurse was just an idiot, and I could tell my MW thought so, too. Earlier in labor the monitor slipped out of position and the same idiot nurse came and looked at the printout, shook her head sadly and said "Oh, I see you're not having any contractions." I was like "That comes as a surprise to me, as I'm having a big one right now."
This happened to me and is a big reason my first birth was so terrible. I had an elective induction (yeah I was super mainstream back then), I had taken no classes at all because I wanted the epidural right away. Well the contractions weren't showing up on the monitor. I was writhing around the bed in agony and crying which I never do in front of people. I kept begging for my epidural but the nurses just smirked at me and said I wasn't even contracting. They finally listened to me when I told them I felt like I had to poop and maybe that would make me feel better (of course I was starting to push at that point). I have nothing but hatred for those nurses who wouldn't listen to me. It still makes me really upset over 4 yrs later. They were just horrible. And I don't think I have that strong of feeling of hatred towards anyone else in my life.

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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#259 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 04:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fruitful womb View Post

MW pulled part of my uterus out of my body. Ofcourse she pushed it back in and jammed down on my abdomen while trying to cover her a$$ by saying, "You're just bleeding a little more than expected." She LIED
OMFG. That's horrible! : How did you know it was your uterus? Did you know right then what she was doing or did you find out later? Did anything bad happen as a result of this? I ask because I am reading my medical records for the first time today and am finding a TON of stuff that no one told me happened.
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#260 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 04:58 PM
 
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OMFG. That's horrible! : How did you know it was your uterus? Did you know right then what she was doing or did you find out later? Did anything bad happen as a result of this? I ask because I am reading my medical records for the first time today and am finding a TON of stuff that no one told me happened.
Maybe a dumb question, but I'd like to see my records from the hospital as well. Do you contact the hospital directly to request that or would I go through my midwives?

Rachel, mama to Lucy, born 9.9.07, and Caroline, born 2.25.10!
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#261 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 05:13 PM
 
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Maybe a dumb question, but I'd like to see my records from the hospital as well. Do you contact the hospital directly to request that or would I go through my midwives?
I called the hospital and they told me what building to go to to get them. I filled out a form, and then a few days later they called and told me they had them ready for me to pick up.
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#262 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 05:38 PM
 
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OMFG. That's horrible! : How did you know it was your uterus? Did you know right then what she was doing or did you find out later? Did anything bad happen as a result of this? I ask because I am reading my medical records for the first time today and am finding a TON of stuff that no one told me happened.
This happened April 9th 2007. I didn't question the apprentice's reaction at the time (I should have) but a few weeks after the birth I complained to MW about seeing my vagina bulging out.

I just put lots of clues together and kept asking questions during my post-natal appointments. It was during a pp appointment when she admitted to pushing apart of my uterus back in.

Its been over a yr since then. I've been doing kegels like crazy and following the 'Whole Women' guide for wellness. My prolapse has significantly improved.

Mamas DON'T LET YOUR MW or OB EVER PULL ON THE CORD TO YOUR PLACENTA AND WAIT TILL YOU FEEL LIKE IT HAS TO BE EXPELLED! You'll know. It'll cramp like crazy. Just let your baby nurse a while. The sucking will cause the contractions your body needs to aid the placenta out of your uterus. NO ONE SHOULD EVER PULL ON THE CORD!

ok, sorry for derailing here.
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#263 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 07:03 PM
 
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This happened April 9th 2007. I didn't question the apprentice's reaction at the time (I should have) but a few weeks after the birth I complained to MW about seeing my vagina bulging out.

I just put lots of clues together and kept asking questions during my post-natal appointments. It was during a pp appointment when she admitted to pushing apart of my uterus back in.

Its been over a yr since then. I've been doing kegels like crazy and following the 'Whole Women' guide for wellness. My prolapse has significantly improved.

Mamas DON'T LET YOUR MW or OB EVER PULL ON THE CORD TO YOUR PLACENTA AND WAIT TILL YOU FEEL LIKE IT HAS TO BE EXPELLED! You'll know. It'll cramp like crazy. Just let your baby nurse a while. The sucking will cause the contractions your body needs to aid the placenta out of your uterus. NO ONE SHOULD EVER PULL ON THE CORD!

ok, sorry for derailing here.
WOW, is about all I have to say.
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#264 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 07:26 PM
 
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This happened to me and is a big reason my first birth was so terrible. I had an elective induction (yeah I was super mainstream back then), I had taken no classes at all because I wanted the epidural right away. Well the contractions weren't showing up on the monitor. I was writhing around the bed in agony and crying which I never do in front of people. I kept begging for my epidural but the nurses just smirked at me and said I wasn't even contracting. They finally listened to me when I told them I felt like I had to poop and maybe that would make me feel better (of course I was starting to push at that point). I have nothing but hatred for those nurses who wouldn't listen to me. It still makes me really upset over 4 yrs later. They were just horrible. And I don't think I have that strong of feeling of hatred towards anyone else in my life.
What exactly is the point of those monitors? Seems like they mostly train nurses out of being able to properly do their jobs.
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#265 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 09:19 PM
 
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With my first (homebirth) I had a new midwife and her back up and as I was pushing she just got scared and said "I can't do this" as in I can't/don't want to catch the baby to which her back up said yes you can. I tuned out my midwife and listened to the back up after that. I was thinking later shouldn't that have been me saying that?!?

My third a transfer for drugs ( didn't get any long story did UC for #4) the anestheseologist was there running his finger up my back I said nevermind it's too late and he said no it's not. He didn't know babe was crowning and I was touching her head. No one else knew either until the nurse checked and hollered for the doc. I was then told not to push and I could hear them breaking down the bed so I pushed harder and the doc only had one glove on while trying to catch the baby. I managed to push her out before they broke down the bed so not one really caught her. I kinda wondered why they didn't let a nurse catch the babe who already had gloves on than someone fumbling with a glove. Seems kinda ridiculous.

I am so sorry for some of these things that have happened to women. It seems so many care providers have NO RESPECT, caring , understanding or compassion. I mean really clamping a hemostat on a woman's vagina and showing to her sounds like a sicko to me!!!How the hell do they think we survived as a species?!? IDIOTS!! Makes me want to scream sometimes.

Mom to 6 with #7 on the way Sept 2014
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#266 of 512 Old 06-16-2008, 09:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post

Then he said, "Are you numb yet?" (I'd had an epidural, which had been over-dosed because it didn't work properly, and I was practically numb to my ears anyway.) I mumbled, "I don't know..." and he said, "Well you must be, cause see what I did?" And he holds up this mirror so I can see down there... and he's got a surgical clamp snapped onto my perineum, so it's dangling beneath the vaginal opening while my butt's hanging in the air over the edge of the bed! I remember squeezing my eyes shut because something about that horrified me.

.

This is what I was refering to in my above post. The lack of humanity and respect for another person's body is horrifying. Man would I love to attach a clamp to his *you know what*!?! and then fillet his privats and see if he thinks that's funny.

Mom to 6 with #7 on the way Sept 2014
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#267 of 512 Old 06-17-2008, 01:58 PM
 
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"Do you want this baby to come out?" -- said by my first midwife when I wasn't pushing to her satisfaction.
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#268 of 512 Old 06-17-2008, 03:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
What exactly is the point of those monitors?
Electronic Fetal Monitors, internal and external, were originally developed for very high risk women in labor. The convenience of monitors were soon realized and soon every woman in the labor rooms had a monitor attached to them, thereby confining laboring women to bed, exposing babies to continuous and intermittent wave ultrasound, and giving all doctors a nice continuous paper strip to use as evidence in case of a malpractice suit.

The doctor who developed them decried their routine use for every single woman in labor.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#269 of 512 Old 06-17-2008, 03:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by applejuice View Post
Electronic Fetal Monitors, internal and external, were originally developed for very high risk women in labor. The convenience of monitors were soon realized and soon every woman in the labor rooms had a monitor attached to them, thereby confining laboring women to bed, exposing babies to continuous and intermittent wave ultrasound, and giving all doctors a nice continuous paper strip to use as evidence in case of a malpractice suit.

The doctor who developed them decried their routine use for every single woman in labor.
So they were, like many other tools of the trade, designed to assist skilled medical personnel in doing their jobs during high risk labors? And now people are being taught how to use the tool instead of the skills that should accompany the tool? Ugh, an engineer who relied that much on tools without knowing what the tools were supposed to be doing wouldn't have a job. And most of the time that engineer wouldn't even be the only line of defense for something going wrong.
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#270 of 512 Old 06-17-2008, 04:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds View Post
"Do you want this baby to come out?" -- said by my first midwife when I wasn't pushing to her satisfaction.
Why no, I think I'll wait until they are ready to go to college to push the kid out!

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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