Stupid Things People Say at Births.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 12:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I thought this would get a laugh or two out of us.

At my sisters hospital birth my mom was holding one of her legs in the stirrups and at one of the moments that the OB paused from saying Push Push Push (mind you my mother and sisters H were yelling Push also) my mom exclaims...."Whew, it's been a long time since I've been a cheerleader!" with a big grin and a little dance.

I was standing next to my sister telling her she was doing great wiping her forehead and thought to myself..."this is why my mom hasn't and will never be allowed at one of my births."

What are some ridiculous statements you have heard about or experienced?
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#2 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 12:54 AM
 
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i was about to go into the OR for an emergency c-section and the nurses were worried about how to get my nightgown (a cheap k-mart one i bought to get nasty while i birthed) off with the IV in. i was like: "cut the m**herf**king nightgown off! who CARES what happens to it!" but they were so concerned.
"it's such a nice nightgown though...you should save it!".
i couldn't believe they were so worried about the ugly nightgown. i finally got them to cut it off.
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#3 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 01:00 AM
 
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I've only read about these and seen them said on TV, but I think they're some of the stupidest things to say to a woman in labor:

"push"

"don't push"
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#4 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bellymama View Post
i was about to go into the OR for an emergency c-section and the nurses were worried about how to get my nightgown (a cheap k-mart one i bought to get nasty while i birthed) off with the IV in. i was like: "cut the m**herf**king nightgown off! who CARES what happens to it!" but they were so concerned.
"it's such a nice nightgown though...you should save it!".
i couldn't believe they were so worried about the ugly nightgown. i finally got them to cut it off.
Oh my gosh! LAME!

You'd think cutting it off would have just been the first thought...what nurse would even think of screwing up an IV just to get dumb nightgown off, especially when you are going in for surgery? duh!
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#5 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 01:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
I've only read about these and seen them said on TV, but I think they're some of the stupidest things to say to a woman in labor:

"push"

"don't push"
I agree and this is what was going on with my sis but I think it is the result of epi's.
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#6 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 11:05 AM
 
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When I was in transition with DS#2 (no meds) I was in lots of pain and DH kept saying "It's ok, it's ok" over and over. I finally yelled at him "Shut up!", because I was NOT ok lol. I felt bad for it cuz he looked hurt, but what he was doing was not at all helpful lol.

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#7 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 11:07 AM
 
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Stupid nurse at my birth decided to lecture me then and there about how I shouldn't have been doing kegels while pregnant. I just tried my best to ignore her, but really, even if she was right--which she wasn't--what did she hope to accomplish by telling me that, then?
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#8 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 11:34 AM
 
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Some nurse told my sister it was okay for the Dr to do the episiotomy, because 'you're just way too tight, you're going to tear'.

nothing like fear to help relax the perineum, right :
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#9 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 11:38 AM
 
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I have never heard this! What were her reasons for not doing kegels during pregnancy? My OB sends a packet of crap home with us at week 12 and one whole page is about how doing kegels before, during, and after pregnancy is the best thing to do!
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#10 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 12:13 PM
 
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i had a lot of family and friends in the room while i was in labour. i was hooked to a monitor and was having pretty bad contractions. my friend kept looking at the monitor and telling me "OH! here comes another one! OH its a BIG one!!!" i ended up telling my dad to make sure she kept her f-ing mouth shut! lol and i NEVER swear in front of my dad! lol
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#11 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 12:15 PM
 
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With my last baby, he was posterior, and very high up. He was induced. I started pushing through contractions at 8cm to get him to move down and help the cervix dialate. Anyways I had been pushing for about 1/2hr, and heard the nurse tell the ob that she though I would end up needing help because it was taking to long to get the baby out.
Take in mind from a blind induction, I had only been having contractions for 6hrs, and was pretty much dialated, and was just pushing because it felt better.
Needless to say the supportive ob just about kicked her out of the room.
Yea a lady with a posterior baby, induced with pit, no pain meds, and you tell the ob that you don't think she can push the baby out.

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#12 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 12:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by thatblondegirl View Post
i had a lot of family and friends in the room while i was in labour. i was hooked to a monitor and was having pretty bad contractions. my friend kept looking at the monitor and telling me "OH! here comes another one! OH its a BIG one!!!" i ended up telling my dad to make sure she kept her f-ing mouth shut! lol and i NEVER swear in front of my dad! lol
This one is funny! I can totally picture it in my mind.
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#13 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by thatblondegirl View Post
i had a lot of family and friends in the room while i was in labour. i was hooked to a monitor and was having pretty bad contractions. my friend kept looking at the monitor and telling me "OH! here comes another one! OH its a BIG one!!!" i ended up telling my dad to make sure she kept her f-ing mouth shut! lol and i NEVER swear in front of my dad! lol

My bil was in the room for about 20 min durring teh middle of my labor with my first. After each contraction he would make the statement, "wow, that was a big one. I don't know how you are doing it."

Thea, wife to Daniel Homeschooling Momma to 4 beautiful, engergetic children.
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#14 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 01:26 PM
 
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I was moaning (um...loudly) through some rough transition contractions and my wonderful DH, who was just trying to be supportive said "shhhhh.." In the deepest recesses of my mind, I KNEW he was trying to comfort me, but my mother said that if looks could kill, he would have been a smoldering pile of goo on the floor...lol
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#15 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 02:09 PM
 
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The MW asst at my last birth was a "treasure." Granted, she was flustered since she arrived shortly before I started pushing, but it was ridiculous. In between ctx she kept asking me where things from the birth kit were, when we had put everything the midwives had asked for very neatly into two large plastic bins, which dh showed her when she came in. One was full of towels and the other had all the birth supply kit items. At one point, she asked for some piece of paperwork (still have no idea why she wanted it then), which I thought might be in the car, and then I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get out of the tub dripping wet, in the middle of transition, in horrendous pain, to get to the car (naked, as well) so I can find her this piece of paper. Dh shot her a look (so he tells me later) and she did then apologize for asking for so many things that were unnecessary at the moment.

I suppose it's possible that I seemed more engaged/available than I really was because I was still telling my dh (in btw ctx) how to finish preparing the vegetarian lasagna I had made for the midwives (it was time to add the last layer of cheese and get it in the oven, of course, so it would be ready after the baby was born).

Then only about an hour or two after the birth, when I had expressed to my midwife (and not to the MW asst, but MW must have told her) that I thought giving birth was still awful and was considering a hospital epidural birth if we had another baby, had the gall to come in and tell me that I had a "beautiful home waterbirth" and how much worse a hospital birth would be. Yeah, that's the time to get on my case about how much I hated the experience. Way to support the 1-hour postpartum mother.
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#16 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 02:20 PM
 
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At dd#1's birth I was buck naked, sitting on a birth ball, and moaning loudly while a red cross volunteer was trying to get over her own discomfort by asking me questions during contractions. Thinking about her stupid questions only caused me more pain.

"Have you been to the UK in the last 12 months" Me:"I wanna go to Europe"
"Have you had a tattoo in the last 12 months" Me: "Do you see any?"
"Blah, blah blah, more stupid questions that I wasn't paying attention to." Me: "Go away, I need to push"

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#17 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 02:28 PM
 
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I was squatting toad-style at the end of the bed, and the nurse told me "You have to lay back now, because the baby won't come out that way".

Both DH, my MIL and I looked at each other, then at her like she had 5 heads. Um, what?
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#18 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 02:42 PM
 
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I was laboring with a doula client at home, and we decided it was time to go to the hospital. By the time we got there, it was obvious the baby was on his way very, very soon. The triage nurse asked if her water broke yet, and I said "no, it hasn't, but the baby is about ready to be born". She replied "oh, honey, if her water hasn't broken, she's got a long time still. You just go to the waiting room until we have everything settled". My eyes almost popped out of my head, but I took a seat. 2 or 3 minutes later, she came running out "hurry up, hurry up, you're going to miss the birth" I really had to resist saying "told ya so" lol

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#19 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 02:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Belle View Post
At dd#1's birth I was buck naked, sitting on a birth ball, and moaning loudly while a red cross volunteer was trying to get over her own discomfort by asking me questions during contractions. Thinking about her stupid questions only caused me more pain.

"Have you been to the UK in the last 12 months" Me:"I wanna go to Europe"
"Have you had a tattoo in the last 12 months" Me: "Do you see any?"
"Blah, blah blah, more stupid questions that I wasn't paying attention to." Me: "Go away, I need to push"
Wha? Were you donating blood or something?
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#20 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 03:00 PM
 
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I have never heard this! What were her reasons for not doing kegels during pregnancy? My OB sends a packet of crap home with us at week 12 and one whole page is about how doing kegels before, during, and after pregnancy is the best thing to do!
It is, the nurse was ignorant. Do your kegels!

Mom to DS 5/05 and DD 9/08
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#21 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 03:01 PM
 
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With DD1, it was getting late and I was at around 8 cm and stalled and my mom kept saying to me, "geez, why are you taking so long? Hurry up!" She was joking, and thought it was funny, but it really seriously aggravated me. : Like somehow I was being rude or inconsiderate of HER by daring to labor late at night.

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#22 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 03:15 PM
 
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Needless to say the supportive ob just about kicked her out of the room.
No, that definitely needed to be said, it totally rocks that the OB kicked her out.
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#23 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 03:19 PM
 
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2 or 3 minutes later, she came running out "hurry up, hurry up, you're going to miss the birth" I really had to resist saying "told ya so" lol
Um, aren't you and the baby the only ones guaranteed to not miss the birth?
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#24 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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I was loud in labor. Really, really loud. I've attended a lot of births in my day, and I'd put my labor experience on par with the crack addict that was abrupting sort of loud.

I ended up with a c-section, and the next day, a phlebotomist comes in to draw my blood. He's chatting with me, and he told me I "should be happy I had a c-section." Oh, really? "Yes, because yesterday, there was a woman in labor, and she was so loud that the whole hospital could hear her screaming all day long." Um, buddy, that would be me.

He turned about 18 shades of red and couldn't get out of my room fast enough. It still makes me giggle to think about it. LOL
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#25 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 04:09 PM
 
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Wha? Were you donating blood or something?
Yeah, they wanted me to donate dd's cord blood. They lied and told me the cord wouldn't be cut until it stopped pulsing.

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#26 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 04:15 PM
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Right after Carter was born, my postpartum nurse realized my mom was also a nurse (she had left the hospital she works at to attend Carter's birth).

My mom mentioned that she had previously worked at the other area hospital. The nurse mentioned that "While that hospital has a really nice L&D floor, they just lost another mom. Postpartum, pretty normal birth." My mom was just like, "Okay, you need to leave."

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#27 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 04:28 PM
 
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I remember being in labor with my first, lying in a semi-dark room with strict orders to stay on my left side. I was in a lot of pain, obviously, and panting and moaning through each contraction. My H was holding my hand, and after one particularly bad contraction, while I was catching my breath, he sort of laughed and said, "Boy, I guess after this, you won't be having any more babies, will ya??" Butt head.

Kind of the same thing with Baby #4, when I was having my first birth center birth. Different H this time, but when things started really kicking into transition, and I was in the tub with the jets on, he leaned over and said, "Betcha wish you'd done that hospital thing with the epidural now, don't ya?" He's quite lucky I didn't grab the back of his head and drown him in the birth tub right then. :

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#28 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 04:41 PM
 
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Um, aren't you and the baby the only ones guaranteed to not miss the birth?
But she was the doula! I don't think Nature gives any guarantees there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Belle
Yeah, they wanted me to donate dd's cord blood. They lied and told me the cord wouldn't be cut until it stopped pulsing.
Doh! I didn't even think of that!

: about the cord cutting.
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#29 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 04:43 PM
 
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During the birth of my first daughter I was pushing like a mad woman (the babe was sunny-side up and BIG!) and I had been moaning loudly and being kinda loud. During a quiet moment, my OB ripped a HUGE fart and he (jokingly) blamed it on me saying "Don't push THAT hard." Everyone knew better and he was totally embarrassed. I now work for him and remind him of that "incident" every now and then.
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#30 of 512 Old 05-22-2008, 04:53 PM
 
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Kind of the same thing with Baby #4, when I was having my first birth center birth. Different H this time, but when things started really kicking into transition, and I was in the tub with the jets on, he leaned over and said, "Betcha wish you'd done that hospital thing with the epidural now, don't ya?" He's quite lucky I didn't grab the back of his head and drown him in the birth tub right then. :
I know at the time it wasn't funny but I'm realling LOL'ing here with the picture of you attempting to drown him in the tub.

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