How do you tell your child's c-section birth story to your young child? - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-03-2003, 07:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really want to share with my daughter her birth story every year during the month of her birthday. Last year she wasn't old enough to get it, and I wasn't "over" the loss of the natural birth I had planned, so I didn't talk about it at all. But this year she loves to hear stories about when she was "younger" (!) and I'd like to start this tradition. I feel a little bit more like I am "over" the disapointment involved with her birth, but it still brings up some bitterness in me.

Plus there just any much inspiring in the story. "I woke up very early in the morning and I could tell it was time for you to be born. We went to the hospital and worked and waited all day and night until the day when you were born. " It is just such a passive story. I can add in some details about being born in the same hospital as her friend 2 days later and about her being later than expected, but when it comes right down to the main action points are going to the hospital and being cut out of my stomach.

It has actually help to type this, so maybe I'll quit trying to work on this in my head and move to paper until I get a story I can verbalize, but I am still very interested in what other have told their kids.
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Old 10-03-2003, 07:35 PM
 
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I have not had a C-Section, so forgive me if my advice is not quite what you are looking for. I did, however, have a birth that was not at all what I expected!

If I were you I would focus on how excited you were to meet your beautiful child. If you did not know her sex, you could say how excited you were to find out if the child growing inside you was going to be your son or your daughter, and how you felt when you heard the Dr say "It's a girl!".

You could also tell her what you were thinking whe you saw her for the first time, and how you felt the fist time you held her new little body in your arms.

You cold tell her what she looked like, and what type of noises she first made. Was she quite and calm, or was she spirited and loud! Talk about the parts of her personality you saw that first day, and continue to see now.

I know how disapointing it is to have a birth so unlike what you planned for and expected, but I try to focus on the bigger picture. I have a beautiful and wonderous daughter that I have the privlage of spending every day with. Her birth was just one day, one sceene in her life. Our time together each day is so much more than I could have ever hoped for, and to me that is what really counts.

I think it is a wonderful idea to share your birth story with you daughter on her birthdays. In fact, you have inspired me to do some thinking on how I can incorporate that into our life as well! Thank you for the wonderful idea!

Sarah
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Old 10-03-2003, 08:16 PM
 
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Moving this to the new Birth and Beyond forum...

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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Old 10-04-2003, 01:35 AM
 
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I think Sarah hit it on the head. Little guys are more interested in the part of the story involving them generally, and truly, that IS the highlight, right? I know what you mean, both of mine were c-births too, so it's not like I can talk about how it felt to have them come out...in fact, ds was under general anesthesia, so I can't tell him anything about his birth, he has to rely on no-memory-dad. :LOL So yeah, I too would focus on how she looked, how she felt, what she did, what you & dh did--diapering (did she pee on you? was her first poop funky--that's what my ds would want to know :LOL), feeding, sleeping, etc. What the nurses said about her, all that stuff. Later, when she's more curious about your experience, add your part in maybe.

Great idea!

Leah
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Old 10-04-2003, 02:21 AM
 
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I also had an emergency C-section and my girl is so young now but I do plan to tell her that babies some times came out from the mom's bellies because of the well being of mom and child, with doctor's help of course :LOL , and focus on how her daddy hold her for the first time and passed her to me, how beautiful she looked, how I felt when she cried for the first time (so amazed of finally hearing her and so in love with her), how the doctor said she was precious and all that. I don't think I will tell her anything about my dissapointment of the procedure. My mom also had me by an emergency C-section and I remember that I was only curious about her scar and not even why or why not.
For sure your dd will love to hear everything you tell her
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Old 10-05-2003, 08:25 AM
 
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I don't want to tell Eli about my birth experience with him at all, as I still look on it with pain and regret. I know, I've got a beautiful healthy son and I should be greatful, but I just can't. I'm not ready yet. I hope that by the time he asks I'm ready to tell him, but I have no idea how I'll handle it when the moment finally arrives. How on earth do you tell your child that the first time you saw him was a day after he was born and you were both covered in wires with IV's and drugs sticking out of you? *sigh* I hope you have an easier time of it, and I admire you for even considering it.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 10-05-2003, 09:26 AM
 
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Great question.

My dd 3.5 y.o. wants to know all about how the baby in utero is going to be born, we have books that describe natural child birth. I am having my 3rd c-section, and I have been honest with her about how the baby will "come out", but I want to keep reiterating that most babies can come out of their mommy's vagina, and that that is what is normal. So, I hear you. I have told her her birth story, as well as ds's birth story and my main problem is letting them know that that is not the "normal" way, but I know they will get that eventually.

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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