I'm afraid to ask this question... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 09:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
Laggie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
but I'm dying to know from women who have had kids...

DH is, well, not exactly what you'd call well endowed. Which is not at all a problem for me, our sex life is great. But I wonder if that would change if I gave birth. Then I think that maybe if that's my biggest worry then I shouldn't be thinking about having a kid anyway.

But is it even true? Or a myth? Will my vagina be different?

I am SO blushing as I type this. I can't ask anyone IRL because I really don't want to have a discussion about the size of DH's penis.

Finally pregnant with #1 and #2! Due September 9th, 2014 
   
Laggie is offline  
#2 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 09:33 PM
 
dancingmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 720
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Awww, wouldn't worry. Everything pretty much "sprang back" to normal for me.
dancingmama is offline  
#3 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 09:34 PM
 
Dmitrizmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 5,012
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It took a while, but things went back to normal fairly quickly for me. Just Kegel kegel kegel.

My family: me jog.gif, dh geek.gif, ds reading.gif (11), dd1 hearts.gif (9), and dd2 energy.gif(3).

Tout va s'arranger à la fin. Si elle ne fonctionne pas; ce n'est pas la fin.

Dmitrizmom is offline  
#4 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 09:34 PM
 
OakBerry's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,923
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have noticed a change in my vulva, not vagina.
I have scar tissue now from a tear, and it's a bit sensitive at times. Other than that, there is not much difference in our sex life.
OakBerry is offline  
#5 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 09:36 PM
 
frontierpsych's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Where the other 4999 Bensoners are...
Posts: 6,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my vagina went back to normal ASAP.
My belly is what got all stretched out!

I'm a modifiedartist.gif DH is a reading.gif we have 2 angel.gifs, and DS is a rainbow1284.gif baby.gif
frontierpsych is offline  
#6 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:02 PM
 
vegemamato's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 2,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm thinking that things are actually tighter now.. my kids are 7 yrs, 3.5 yrs and 3 months :

why worry..?..

mischievous.gif
vegemamato is offline  
#7 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:06 PM
 
HarperRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: In my own little world
Posts: 10,819
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You'll be ok. Like a PP, I have a scar from an episiotomy & tear (hospital births and I do not mix!) and it can be sensitive occasionally, even though it's been 8 yrs, but other than that things are pretty much normal. After my most recent birth, though, I have had some minor issues w/ prolapsed organs. Not terribly bad, thankfully, but enough that it is slightly noticeable from time to time. The baby is 6 mos old.

 upsidedown.gif  Please see my Community Profile! energy.gif blogging.jpg about Asperger's Syndrome!

HarperRose is offline  
#8 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:07 PM
 
OllieMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: not here
Posts: 597
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We didn't DTD again until probably 3 or 4 months PP. And I'll be honest, it was like losing my virginity all over again. Of course, I was kind of tense and terrified it would hurt, so that probably didn't help. (I had very minor tearing of the inner labia) But, I wouldn't worry about it. It's the same as it was before, muscle tone wise.
OllieMama is offline  
#9 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:08 PM
 
Kritto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: between some mountains
Posts: 847
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by vegemamato View Post
I'm thinking that things are actually tighter now..
Umm, that's what my DP said about my...y'know. And he's in a similar size class to your DP. Our DD is 17 mos. Things are super here!

Kristal: Now an at-home mama to my Doodle and my Roo and partner to my love .
15/52 craft projects completed in 2010.
Kritto is offline  
#10 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:12 PM
 
lovesdaffodils's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by OakBerry View Post
I have noticed a change in my vulva, not vagina.
I have scar tissue now from a tear, and it's a bit sensitive at times. Other than that, there is not much difference in our sex life.
: Our vaginas are amazingly elastic!
lovesdaffodils is offline  
#11 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:12 PM
 
kama'aina mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Watching Top Chef, eating Top Ramen
Posts: 21,139
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
My ex-husband, who is the father of my child is larger than the man I am with now. I am more satisfied with my sex life than ever before in my life. The body bounces back. Keep in mind that the most important sex organ in your body is between your ears.
kama'aina mama is offline  
#12 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:18 PM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have to say I feel no difference from before and after and my dh is also not well endowed.

Like a pp said the first time after each kid it was like loosing my viginity all over again.

I just asked dh and he said there was a slight difference between tightness is just slight. He has no problem with it The looks though now that is like night and day. :

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
#13 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:24 PM
 
Think of Winter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: By the Shore
Posts: 2,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by frontierpsych View Post
my vagina went back to normal ASAP.
My belly is what got all stretched out!
Mmhmmm.
Think of Winter is offline  
#14 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:25 PM
 
Jasmyn's Mum's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In the Canadian Rockies
Posts: 1,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep. No complaints here
Jasmyn's Mum is offline  
#15 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:32 PM
 
Kabes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: location?!? I need a location?uh oh
Posts: 1,280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wished my DH were smaller cause it really hurt after (all four times).
Kabes is offline  
#16 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:36 PM
 
urchin_grey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Bowling Green, KY
Posts: 1,194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kabes View Post
I wished my DH were smaller cause it really hurt after
:

I had a c/s with DS so no babies have passed through there yet - but my friend has had two vaginal births and she said her stuff was *tighter* afterwards.

Carly [29] + DH [27] + DS [9]

TTC my second and his first!

urchin_grey is offline  
#17 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 10:44 PM
 
sunnymw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SWGA
Posts: 2,367
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
<---also wishes her DH was a little smaller!!

DH says I was noticably tighter after having a baby.

Sunny coolshine.gif: gun toting, retired breastfeeding, car seat loving, guitar playing, home birthing and schooling mama to Jakob (10.06), Mikah (07.08) and Korah (07.11). uc.jpg 

sunnymw is offline  
#18 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 11:01 PM
 
ColoradoMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: mooning TAO
Posts: 10,084
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by frontierpsych View Post
my vagina went back to normal ASAP.
My belly is what got all stretched out!
Yep. And somehow my butt never went back to normal.

I didn't notice any difference before or after (or after or after or after - four kids, you know!)
ColoradoMama is offline  
#19 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 11:35 PM
 
KBinSATX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,955
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do feel 'looser'. A change in position helps though so we just have a new favorite position...

The thing about it hurting, etc. is a different issue for me. It took about a year to be totally comfortable while having sex again.
KBinSATX is offline  
#20 of 54 Old 05-26-2008, 11:40 PM
 
Arwyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Twitter, RMB, PDX
Posts: 16,839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel a smidge looser side-to-side (not all around or front to back, just side-to-side, and that's lessened over the months), but sex is just fine.

I wish guys would figure out that bigger is not always better!
Arwyn is offline  
#21 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 12:17 AM
 
triplembride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 719
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
funny dh and i were just talking about this and we agree its tighter than before...at least it feels that way....especially at first, ouch!

Megan-loving wife to my high school sweet heart 9.24.2005 and AP mama to my big boy biggrinbounce.gif 12.14.2006, homebirth.jpglittle sister 5.27.2009 andhomebirth.jpg baby sister 8.31.11

 

triplembride is offline  
#22 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 12:22 AM
 
scoobers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Chasing the sparkly rainbow fairys
Posts: 552
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, my yoni was completely wrecked. I had a 4th degree laceration (no episiotomy) and had to have reconstructive surgery 6 months later. We had sex probably 5-6 times in the first 3 years after DS's birth and it was EXCRUTIATING but the worst problem was DH lost interest, probably due to the PTSD from the birth. It's tighter now but mine is tighter because they had to cut everything back open and sew me back up. Things are definitely not the same. DS is now 5 and sex no longer hurts but we rarely have it although at least now it's maybe every week or two vs. 2-3 x per year.

I have a friend who has had three and she makes jokes about being able to stuff a watermelon up there so, yeah, it definitely loosens things up at least for some women.

Sorry to be a downer but I wish someone would have told me this could happen.
scoobers is offline  
#23 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 12:23 AM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 13,248
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnymw View Post

DH says I was noticably tighter after having a baby.
Yeah same here. It is weird.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
#24 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 10:27 AM
 
KBinSATX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,955
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by scoobers View Post
I have a friend who has had three and she makes jokes about being able to stuff a watermelon up there so, yeah, it definitely loosens things up at least for some women.

Sorry to be a downer but I wish someone would have told me this could happen.

Yes, I agree. I kegeled like I was training for the Olympics and it did doodly squat. I still have some slight stress incontinence problems as well and DS just turned 2.
I guess I didn't think enough happy thoughts... !?
It sometimes feels like if you admit to stuff like that you are ticking off the other natural mamas or something. Like if you do all the exercises and think only happy thoughts then only good things will happen to you.
If something less desirable happens then it must be our fault for some reason.
But I think it's totally normal for stuff to happen that we would consider less desirable and nature wouldn't consider it a problem.
Let's face it: someting really big went through a fairly small opening. Why wouldn't it stretch out?!
KBinSATX is offline  
#25 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 10:38 AM
 
sapientia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 2,224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
All is well here and I've had 5 vaginally.

Wife, mom to 6 great kids!...avid crafter, music lover,  reader, gardener!

 

homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif novaxnocirc.gif homebirth.jpg

 

sapientia is offline  
#26 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 10:46 AM
 
MyBoysBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Alberta Canada
Posts: 1,116
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't know if I am looser. It's not noticeable anyway. What I found is that now after my second son was born I am wetter. Which can cause DH to not feel as much, so we get to switch up positions a lot.

Wife to DH, Mom to my Intact Boys DS1: Born 02 Pain Med Free Hospital Birth, BF'ed for 9 Months, Partially Vax'd DS2: Born 06 via UC, BF'ed 3 years 10 months, and UnVax'd
MyBoysBlue is offline  
#27 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 01:52 PM
 
Arwyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Twitter, RMB, PDX
Posts: 16,839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBinSATX View Post
Let's face it: someting really big went through a fairly small opening. Why wouldn't it stretch out?!
Sure, it might stretch out. Or it might get tighter. Or it might change shape. Or it might stay the same. There are women on this thread to whom each of those have happened. The point is we never know ahead of time, there are things we can do to influence the odds of any particular outcome occurring, and to say that one's genitals will definitely be adversely affected by pregnancy and birth is as mistaken as saying that one can definitely avoid any problems by kegeling regularly.
Arwyn is offline  
#28 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 02:12 PM
 
mytwogirls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Where the corn grows
Posts: 2,335
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kabes View Post
I wished my DH were smaller cause it really hurt after (all four times).
Ditto that! My DH is HUGE for me personally (not bragging by any means trust me!) and I felt a lot tighter after it was all over and it HURT for a while but now everything is back to normal.
mytwogirls is offline  
#29 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 02:12 PM
 
KBinSATX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,955
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwyn View Post
Sure, it might stretch out. Or it might get tighter. Or it might change shape. Or it might stay the same. There are women on this thread to whom each of those have happened. The point is we never know ahead of time, there are things we can do to influence the odds of any particular outcome occurring, and to say that one's genitals will definitely be adversely affected by pregnancy and birth is as mistaken as saying that one can definitely avoid any problems by kegeling regularly.
I wasn't trying to say that it definitely has a negative effect on everybody but I wanted to be fair to the original poster and let her know that it can happen. It's not entirely out of the ordinary that it would happen. It shouldn't be a tabou to let people know that it does happen.
And I also wanted to be supportive to other people that did find things are looser now and let them know that not everybody thinks it's their fault for failing somehow, not putting enough effort into exercising or whatever , etc.
KBinSATX is offline  
#30 of 54 Old 05-27-2008, 02:30 PM
 
scoobers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Chasing the sparkly rainbow fairys
Posts: 552
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBinSATX View Post
It shouldn't be a tabou to let people know that it does happen.
And I also wanted to be supportive to other people that did find things are looser now and let them know that not everybody thinks it's their fault for failing somehow, not putting enough effort into exercising or whatever , etc.


I too kegeled like there was no tomorrow and was SUPER fit prior to pregnancy (had just completed a marathon a few months before) running tons of miles, etc. I still have stress incontinence and I guess I'll have it for the rest of my life. I'm sure we're not the only ones but it sometimes seems like it's not PC to talk about any negatives from a V birth.
scoobers is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off