Do you say anything mean in labor? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-13-2008, 12:28 PM
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I didn't say anything mean while in labor, but after the head came out (and I screamed in joy!) I innocently said, "now what?" and DH said "shoulders" and we all laughed.

twins 7.02 ⢠DS 10.06 ⢠OMG #4 1.08 ⢠ebf + tandem nursing!
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Old 06-13-2008, 12:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Redifer View Post
My first one I had an epidural, so I was stoned out of my gourd. I just kept saying things like "I'm stoned" and "I can see board games on the ceiling!"
Oh man, your entire post was hilarious, but this bit reminded me of when I was pregnant and had to go to the ER because I was having a panic attack and couldn't breathe. They gave me morphine to calm me down, and I sh!t you not, I laid there in the room singing, "I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones. I was high as a KITE. All the nurses who kept scurrying by the open door would give me the WEIRDEST looks. Not a labor story, but still prety funny if you ask me.
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Old 06-13-2008, 11:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by diapers4fun View Post
What were some of the worst things you did or said during labor?

Is anybody pleasant during their entire labor?
Heh. While I was pregnant I kept telling myself I wouldn't... that I would keep the vibe peaceful. At one point while I was pushing I wanted to yell out every swear word I knew, but then I told myself, "no, chloe, keep it peaceful!" haha!

I think the meanest thing I said was "Get me water, NOW!"
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Old 06-14-2008, 01:15 AM
 
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While I was having very painful contractions my DH was filling out generic hospital admit paperwork. One of the questions was "is there a chance you could be pregnant?" Well he asked me this in a humorous tone right in the middle of my moaning in pain. I yelled at him, "it isn't funny you f$*%ing jerk!" Then I threatened to throw him out of the room. The nurse didn't even flinch. I'm sure she has heard it all.
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Old 06-14-2008, 02:19 AM
 
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we tell people to not talk to moms during a contraction-- using this example
imagine carrying a fridge into the house- now in the middle of the lift answer questions with more than a grunt or a curse ; ) I think that short answers or directed answers are not mean. plenty of times moms think that they have been loud or have been unpleasant and what they have said is shhhh or stop talking or don't touch me or hold me or put your hand back there... very short direct/directive statements and I think that women may not be use to being that focused about what they need or want and feel guilty---- but it is not my definition of mean and I love it when women are clear and focused like that
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Old 06-14-2008, 11:06 PM
 
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I could hardly make myself say anything in labor, much less anything mean. (That even happens when I'm sleepy, I just don't talk much.) But I remember being rather annoyed at my DH for not rubbing my back during each contraction. He was supposed to know when to start rubbing, somehow, without me saying anything or making noise or moving. He didn't time them like I asked him to, either. Slacker.
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Old 06-15-2008, 08:12 AM
 
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I wasn't purposely mean.

The meanest things i said was a gasped "this stings like f---!" as she crowned, and the midwife replied "Yes, this is the stingy bit", and then a quite stern "give me my baby" as soon as she was out. I hadn't begun pushing yet (i had a really fast labour) though, so i was quite shocked that she was coming out already. I can remember holding her against my breast and wondering if i was ok to push yet (i'd had a longish period of prodomal labour with premature pushing urge as she was posterior, which blended seamlessly into a real pushing urge, but i didn't realise it was, and then she emerged, just under 4 hours after being found to be in prelabour (2-3cm, 25% effaced).

I did also at one point roughly push XP's hands away. He'd been pressing on my sacrum during contractions when she was still posterior and that was great if he was touching me before the ctx started but if he wasn't there already, starting to press after the contraction began was awful, and i couldn't speak so i just pushed his hands off. I did apologise when the contraction ended
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Old 06-16-2008, 11:53 PM
 
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I told my husband to be quiet--he was spouting something very nice and hippie-dippie about "Think of all the women in labor with you right now..."

That's it, though.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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Old 06-17-2008, 12:33 AM
 
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i said a few curses but not directed at anyone. actually i don't say much of anything while i'm in labor. i'm pretty much in my own little world most of the time.

when i had a bunch of back labor with DD1 and my mom was helping with counter-pressure on my sacrum i did keep snipping at her to push harder, though poor mom probably worked harder than i did, and had to stare at my naked butt while doing it
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Old 06-17-2008, 02:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Redifer View Post
My first one I had an epidural, so I was stoned out of my gourd. I just kept saying things like "I'm stoned" and "I can see board games on the ceiling!"

My second one was natural, and I got quite cranky as I was starting to hit transition (AND they took my music away... I NEEDED that metallica!). DH and MIL were both touching and rubbing me, and it was just sensory overload. So I wound up flapping my arms around like a duck on meth, yelling at them to "Stop F-ing touching me! Jesus, why must you both TOUCH me all the F-ing time?! DON'T TALK, DON'T TOUCH ME, JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!"

Naturally, they both completely understood the situation, no hard feelings

And then there was this major pushing urge, to which I announced quite loudly:
"I feel like I have to take a massive dump all over this table!!!"
That certainly got the room into a flurry of movement! Not quite mean, but crude...

ETA more I thought of after I hit the post button:

When the entire intern staff came in the room.. because, apparently, a shrieking, swearing woman having an all-natural labor was completely foreign and a 'learning experience', I looked up, looked at the ob, and just said, in a totally monotone voice: "Are you F'ing Sh-ing me? You people don't even F-ing ask before having 15 people come in and stare at my crotch?!"

And then when she was stitching me, I told her several times the local hadn't taken effect. I kept wincing, flinching, etc. The nurses grabbed my legs to hold me still, and I flipped. They told me I needed to be still, and it wasn't that bad.
"Isn't that bad?! I am running away from my own A$$ right now! Do you see this?" Then they got irritated, and I got louder "I swear to all that is Holy, if you don't give me more local, I'm going to take that needle and stick it all up in your lady-bits, let's see you be still about it!"

Nurses after weighing DD:
"You had a 10 lb baby?! Vaginally?! With no meds?!"
"Umm, yup, still bleeding from my crotch here, gals. Clue enough for you?"


Yea, I get cranky, and mean. Especially when people just refuse to do what I want them to without me telling them!

This whole post had me laughing so loud. I read it to DH (completely uncensored, and I almost never cuss) and he just stared at me and said, "Oh please, don't be like that." Well, we'll see!
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Old 06-17-2008, 04:28 AM
 
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I think the only time I got mean was when my bladder got compressed and I was having wild and crazy urges to pee.

I was getting VERY angry about it and people were kind of holding me and telling me to push and I shrieked at them "NOT THAT KIND OF HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!"

They gave me a catheter once they figured out what the problem was and I felt MUCH better


Mostly I told jokes, inappropriate jokes, or taunting my Dr, it was late at night and every time he would leave I would make fun of him, "Aaawww....What's wrong?? Are you tired??" or "You better get your hand stamped if you want back in"

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Old 06-17-2008, 04:42 AM
 
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I am usually foulmouthed, and I actually *stopped* swearing. Make of that what you will.

I did instruct my sister and husband to "Shut up!" when they were discussing something during a contraction.

I feel like I mostly whined that I didn't wanna dooooo it. That was transition.
I didn't get very far in reading the responses yet but I had to quote this one...

I too am frequently a swearer and didn't swear during labor/birth. I couldn't handle people talking during the contractions but, not wanting to be mean, said, "Stop talking." (Maybe because my mom was there, we weren't allowed to say "shut up" when we were growing up, we had to say "please refrain from being audible" )

I became very introverted and focused during labor but also very nice to those around me when I could "surface" to talk. I kept saying during contractions that "it" (the contraction) would be end soon and I could make it through. My husband, wonderful, helpful man that he is, tried to help my saying, "Not much longer now." During a brief break between contractions I told him, as nicely as I could, that he couldn't say that anymore because he meant the entire labor and I could just handle the one contraction. I kind of hurt his feelings because he was trying to help, but of course, he understood.

I did get a little snippy at the end, but only because I didn't want discussions I wanted decisions. At one point my midwife asked me if I wanted to get in my bed (I had knelt on the floor on the way back from the bathroom) and I couldn't decide and kept saying, "I don't know," in a distressed voice. Finally she told me to get in bed and I did.

Then I my midwife was offering to let my mom (former midwife/ob nurse) catch the baby and my mom said she didn't know because we hadn't discussed it (my husband didn't want to) and I said, "I don't care who catches the baby!" because I really didn't. My midwife ended up catching her, which was great, but I wish I could have been coherent enough to allow my mom to.

But, I was fortunate in that I had a homebirth with only people that I really wanted at the birth attending. I love them all and didn't want to be mean!

Momma to my sweet kiddos DD (2.19.07) and DS (9.27.09) and wife to the most amazing man (7.24.04)
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Old 06-17-2008, 05:11 AM
 
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With DD1 I had her in the hospital with an epidural, but felt everything when I was pushing her out. For some reason the nurse decided to ask me, in the middle of pushing where the call button was. I yelled at her, "I DON'T F%&ING KNOW!" I didn't like her. She also reminded me (read: threatened) that if I didn't get the baby out I'd need a c-section. I had only been pushing for TEN minutes.

With DD2, the most recent birth so pretty fresh in my mind, everyone knew things were getting serious when I rather calmly said to my DH, "shut up Steve". He also tells me I was VERY specific about what music I wanted on. He says that he'd hear me yelling or grumbling about what music was on from the next room while he was trying to get it set up.

I also got angry when after yelling F*****CK during a big ol' contraction I heard someone in the room laugh (my mom and two aunts were there). I told them not to laugh at me! With the next contraction I think I yelled out FUUUUUUDGE.

Another little funny story during the last labor. My midwife's name is Kelley. There was a point during my transition contractions that I kept saying her name over and over again. "Kelly kelley kelley kelley kelley". I guess everyone in the next room kept laughing because it reminded them of that Cheers episode where woody sings the song, "Kelley".

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Old 06-18-2008, 08:45 PM
 
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I just get labor tourettes. I curse...a lot...lol

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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Old 06-19-2008, 01:37 AM
 
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Well, let' see. I just used "the lord's name in vain" a WHOLE lot...I remember a lot of GOD, JESUS and the like. Guess deep down I really am that way...

The meanest part was snapping at my Hubby once to PLEASE HOLD THAT FU**ing leg", he was not expecting me to be that strong, I was in a weird position, not quite on my back, not the side, could not sit or anything.

The funny thing ist- my room was across a "labor room"-and the next night I heard someone do a whole lot of Gods and Jesuses...seems to be a standard,haha.
But then the night after (we stayed for almost a week-DS had issues and wonderful lactation consultant managed to not get me discharged but actually let me stay in the same room across where he was hospitalized-so I could be with him all the time) sombody was REALLY getting mean- I am still laughing at the nurse who just looked up and said matter of factly: "Oh, sounds like somebody is in labor"-just the way she said it was enough to make me laugh.
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Old 06-19-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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Is anybody pleasant during their entire labor?
I was. It's actually quite weird because I'm not pleasant under pressure/stress. I guess I did a good job relaxing.

Everyone commented on the fact that I said "thank you" when water was brought to me as I was in transition. Oh, and I was apologizing for peeing on the delivery bed with every contraction. Also during transition, obviously not thinking totally clearly.

Casey, wife to Danny, mom to Olive : and Darcy : .
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:16 AM
 
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Not that I remember. In the first 2 hours, it was no big deal. In the second, the only thing I really did if I opened my mouth was scream. I don't think I had ever been so angry in my life.
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Old 06-19-2008, 05:15 PM
 
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My husband found it to be mean, I honestly don't remember saying it:

"SHUT UP!"

I really just didn't want anyone talking during contractions, it ruined my concentration.

Maybe it was the way it was said, not so much the actual words, but, I still don't remember telling him to shut up, though it's possible....
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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ohh. ..I was all kinds of mean during the 20 or so hours of labour that were overwhelmingly painful.

Luckily my partner and my midwives were all extremely calm people who let it completely pass at the time.

In early labour, my mother came in (I was birthing at her house but we had agreed that she would come in only during the pushing stage because I am NOT calm with her around) and was clomping around in these red high heeled shoes on the wooden floor, moving boxes around and getting me to fill in some change of address form for something and finally I told her to "just get out!" I feel like I may have also told Dp to "get her out!" but I don't know if I actually said it out loud. She was insulted, but she got over it, and left, thankfully (and ended up missing the whole birth which suited me fine).

Dd was posterior and I needed pressure points on my back pressed every ctx and only Dp's hands could do it properly, so whenever I felt one coming on I would get panicky if he wasn't right there and yell at him to come. I also gave very abrupt orders for water, juice, TENS machine etc. Later on I snapped at him to "STOP EATING!" because the smell of crackers on his breath was making me feel totally ill and I couldn't take that on top of being in so much pain. Poor guy didn't eat for like 18 hours after that.
Oddly enough I also commanded him to "Talk to me!" during some contractions. I'm pretty sure he was scared that whatever he said would invite more of my wrath, but he went into some running-visualization crap that was actually super helpful and I wanted more of it.
Mainly I was just so exhausted that I had no extra energy for being nice about asking for stuff that I *needed* or else I was going to *die*. That's how it felt anyway. I also told Dp repeatedly for hours that I was dying and that he didn't understand, I was *really* dying and did he get what I was saying?!

As for my lovely midwives, I screamed at them to:
-get the BP cuff the f**k away from me
- ditto with the doppler
- get the F**K out of there when they were doing a cervical check and a ctx was about to start
- Don't push the cervical lip back! (they weren't, I just thought they might)
- and lots of just plain swearing (including in German - and I am not German)

And best of all, while I was pushing I yelled "I'm going to kill you all!" at the three of them!

They're super cool because afterwards they said they'd love to have me back again

As for beleaguered Dp he commented after the birth when I would ask him for stuff that "it was really nice to be asked nicely!". He had a really bad tooth infection many months later, and, unable to speak, wrote me a note that read:

"sorry that I was offended when you were short with me during labour".

I figure if that's what I needed to do to get dd out, then that's that. There was no 'deciding to be calm or not'. I've been to lots of births as a student mw and no-one has been quite up to my standard, yet . . . .

finally midwife mama to my home-birthed nurslings: Noemi Sakura 16.10.07 & Seder Pádraig 13.7.09 and partner to their lovely daddy
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Old 06-19-2008, 09:30 PM
 
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Maybe not saying something mean, but does donkey kicking a nurse count?
And sadly, I fully intended to kick in her face - missed and landed it smack on her shoulder instead. (She was holding my DD's head in despite my screams for her not to & yelling "This is assault!" about three times to my DH who was a complete deer-in-the-headlights, bless his heart.)

I'm hopeful that's not my normal response to stress. I'd say it was more of a Mama Lionness kinda thing...
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Old 06-19-2008, 09:45 PM
 
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Not mean, but not censored either. I had no patience what so ever for anyone asking me to repeat myself or asking me open ended questions.
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Old 06-19-2008, 09:50 PM
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I think I said quite a few means things... I had a big support team, my do, my mum, my little sis and of course the midwife, so I had lots of targets!!
I remember swearing A LOT!!!

The funny part was though right before baby started crowning, I got all soppy, I turned to DP and said something along the lines of
"OH thank you so much for giving me this baby"

It was so out-of-character for me that everyone in the room laughed!!

hmmm ... Don't laugh at a woman whos crowning
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Old 06-19-2008, 10:41 PM
 
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After I birthed dear daughter he said "Wow, you said 'sh*t' alot!" and I said "If I hadn't been in so much pain and I'd been thinking clearly I would've been dropping the F bomb!"

Other than that I was waaaaaay too polite, so much that I think it consumed a lot of my mental energy.

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Old 06-19-2008, 10:47 PM
 
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I didn't say anything mean. I didn't really say anything at all, I wanted it to be peaceful the entire time, which it was.
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Old 06-20-2008, 12:19 AM
 
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I told my dh to shut up and the room got really quiet. I felt bad and apologized at the end of the contraction. I told my doula, the m/w and nurse that I didn't mean them - they weren't the ones talking. I also said Oh S$#t! while crowning. I think if I hadn't been worried about what the m/w, nurse, and doula would think of me, I would have been dropping the F bomb.

I still had a sense of humor at 8 or 9 cm, trying to get dh to laugh at an inside joke.

DS - 5! - adopted at birth after infertility, IUI, and IVF; DD - 4! - surprise pregnancy discovered when DS was 8 months old ; Hoping for another soon (actively TTC ~ 2 years)
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Old 06-20-2008, 03:26 AM
 
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With my first, hard labor hit right after everyone came back from lunch, and their breath was making me sick to my stomach. I put up with it for a while, then during a particularly hard contraction, I just told them all that their breath was bad and to please not breathe in my face.

With my second, the only thing that bothered me was when a friend of mine (I was so glad she was there, but she just wasn't thinking) tried to "help" while I was having a contraction while waddling back from the bathroom. I was just slow-dancing with DH thru it, then she came up beside me and started rubbing my tummy and telling me I can do it and I'm doing a great job, etc., etc. I had to ask her to please not touch me, I'm having a hard contraction and I need to relax. That's as offensive as I got. Oh, except when I was getting sutured up (both times). Apparently my vagina is resistant to local anesthetic, because my Dr. with my first got kicked, and when my midwife with my second heard me swear for the first time since she's known me! She used a lot of local, but it just wasn't kicking in...I wanted to take a shower and hold my babe, etc., so I told her to just go ahead anyway...I was spewing four-letter words the whole time!

Jess ~ RN & student CNM, Blogger (see profile), wifey to T-Rav & momma to sons Buggy ~7/04 & Newt ~1/08 & Tad 6/19/09 & Con-man 1/11!  <3
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Old 06-20-2008, 04:58 PM
 
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Maybe not saying something mean, but does donkey kicking a nurse count?
And sadly, I fully intended to kick in her face - missed and landed it smack on her shoulder instead. (She was holding my DD's head in despite my screams for her not to & yelling "This is assault!" about three times to my DH who was a complete deer-in-the-headlights, bless his heart.)

I'm hopeful that's not my normal response to stress. I'd say it was more of a Mama Lionness kinda thing...
Ha, I'm sorry you missed your intended target!

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Old 06-20-2008, 05:10 PM
 
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My son's labor was very fast but pretty easy. I kept quiet for the most part.

My daughter's labor was much longer and much more painful. She was crooked so "labor" defines exactly what I was going through . At one point I was being given orders by both midwives and my husband and I yelled at them to "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Then later during some really intense, painful, and tiring pushing I moaned "Just get this f***ing thing out of me!!" But then within 5 minutes I had a sweet little girl .

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Redifer View Post
My first one I had an epidural, so I was stoned out of my gourd. I just kept saying things like "I'm stoned" and "I can see board games on the ceiling!"

My second one was natural, and I got quite cranky as I was starting to hit transition (AND they took my music away... I NEEDED that metallica!). DH and MIL were both touching and rubbing me, and it was just sensory overload. So I wound up flapping my arms around like a duck on meth, yelling at them to "Stop F-ing touching me! Jesus, why must you both TOUCH me all the F-ing time?! DON'T TALK, DON'T TOUCH ME, JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!"

Naturally, they both completely understood the situation, no hard feelings

And then there was this major pushing urge, to which I announced quite loudly:
"I feel like I have to take a massive dump all over this table!!!"
That certainly got the room into a flurry of movement! Not quite mean, but crude...

ETA more I thought of after I hit the post button:

When the entire intern staff came in the room.. because, apparently, a shrieking, swearing woman having an all-natural labor was completely foreign and a 'learning experience', I looked up, looked at the ob, and just said, in a totally monotone voice: "Are you F'ing Sh-ing me? You people don't even F-ing ask before having 15 people come in and stare at my crotch?!"

And then when she was stitching me, I told her several times the local hadn't taken effect. I kept wincing, flinching, etc. The nurses grabbed my legs to hold me still, and I flipped. They told me I needed to be still, and it wasn't that bad.
"Isn't that bad?! I am running away from my own A$$ right now! Do you see this?" Then they got irritated, and I got louder "I swear to all that is Holy, if you don't give me more local, I'm going to take that needle and stick it all up in your lady-bits, let's see you be still about it!"

Nurses after weighing DD:
"You had a 10 lb baby?! Vaginally?! With no meds?!"
"Umm, yup, still bleeding from my crotch here, gals. Clue enough for you?"


Yea, I get cranky, and mean. Especially when people just refuse to do what I want them to without me telling them!
Oh my god. You are my hero. My daughter is seriously mad at me for laughing so much.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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Old 06-21-2008, 02:44 AM
 
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My husband says I wasn't mean, but I was definitely short of patience. He also mentions that I was really patient for the first half or so. I was in labor for 49 hours so I figure that if I was patient for 24 hours or so most of that with contractions every 6-8 minutes then I got short of patience I did just fine.

The closest to mean that I remember was asking the midwife's assistance multiple times to stop touching me. I finally told her, "Look. You notice how my husband is across the room looking concerned? That's not cause he's a jerk it's because he knows I DON'T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED. Please stop touching me."

She finally got the hint.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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