Do you say anything mean in labor? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 02:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What were some of the worst things you did or said during labor?

Is anybody pleasant during their entire labor?
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#2 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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I don't think I said anything mean.

During my first labor I had lots of annoying people around me and I never snapped at any of them. In retrospect think I should have let loose on them. They caused me more pain by talking during contractions.

My second birth was at home. I yelled "Holy $***" while pushing but it wasn't directed at anyone.

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#3 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 02:47 PM
 
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I never said anything mean to anyone. I did have one moment where I almost did...I was towards the end and having trouble managing the pain, and my doula said, "It's the only kind of pain that's good pain." I almost blurted out, "What do YOU know about it???" because she didn't yet have kids. SO glad I didn't say it....she was pregnant at the time, but had had a miscarriage a few months earlier. And I think doulas without kids can be great doulas...I just didn't like what she had said and got annoyed.

But that said, for the record, telling a laboring mom it's "good pain" is not helpful.

Other than that I didn't have any mean or angry thoughts, I was just in the zone.

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#4 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 02:50 PM
 
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while pushing my son, my dh in his nervousness said to me "great job honey, you could push out two or three more after this one" and I looked at him and said "are you f_____ kidding me?", that was about as mean as I got. :-)
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#5 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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Nothing mean--but after about 10 hours of labor I said to my husband, "You are never, ever having sex again."
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#6 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 05:29 PM
 
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nope and I rarely ever hear women be unpleasant- what is even more surprising is how polite some women are to there DH or children when in labor-

I have had some moms cuss during a contraction but not at anyone one in particular more like f... ........... it hurts or..... I think that they are expressing intensity most of the time when it happens...
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#7 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 05:32 PM
 
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I really couldn't talk much once contractions got strong. I did kinda moo or something, which I suppose could be taken as an insult...

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#8 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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dh was really worried that I would turn into one of those screaming crazy women you see on tv but of course I didn't. one birth instructor told us that women will behave in labor the same way they deal with all major stress in their life. If they normally become focused and introverted, expect that. I don't know if it's true for everyone but it's how I responded to both of my labors.

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#9 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 05:39 PM
 
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I'll admit, I did. Just once though. My mom was at my first son's birth. While I was in transition she kept telling my boyfriend and the nurse stupid stories about her trip to the grocery store. I was so irritated I growled in what I'm sure was a Exorcist voice "Would you just shut the h*** up!" I couldn't help it. At least she got the point.
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#10 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 05:43 PM
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I cussed but not at anyone in particular. I glared at my midwife's assistant when she tried to give me ice that I didn't want. Other than that....

I thought I would be mean. I'm a bitch when in pain, or tired, or hungry, or whathaveyou. I really am. But I guess I just didn't want to waste any energy on being mean while dealing with ctx. Heh.
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#11 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KD's Momma View Post
dh was really worried that I would turn into one of those screaming crazy women you see on tv but of course I didn't. one birth instructor told us that women will behave in labor the same way they deal with all major stress in their life. If they normally become focused and introverted, expect that. I don't know if it's true for everyone but it's how I responded to both of my labors.
This makes sense to me. I normally become more focused when I'm stressed. I was sure I'd be a royal b**ch when I was in labor but in fact I was perfectly fine until transition (when I finally called the midwife and my best friend and sister to come over) and after that I was overwhelmed and scared. Not that I was going to die or anything, more scared of how overwhelming the feelings were. I'm told I was actually very pleasant. Everyone was surprised. My sister was cute, she said later she was prepared it to be what I was like during puberty. Unpleasant wouldn't even cover it

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#12 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:16 PM
 
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I am usually foulmouthed, and I actually *stopped* swearing. Make of that what you will.

I did instruct my sister and husband to "Shut up!" when they were discussing something during a contraction.

I feel like I mostly whined that I didn't wanna dooooo it. That was transition.
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#13 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:17 PM
 
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I had a hospital transfer from a homebirth to get some pitocin to strengthen my contractions(that were already quite painful b/c it was back labor...long story). Some idiot lady came in and started trying to put in an IV when I was in the middle of some big contractions. She had no idea what she was doing. At one point after poking me twice and getting nowhere, she sighed heavily and said annoyed, "Mrs. Edwards, I really need you to try to be still for me." I responded, "I'm having a f___ing contraction! I can't be f___ing still, so figure it out and deal with it!"

S, mama to boy M(6/07) and baby girl R(7/10). We do all the good natural family living stuff!
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#14 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:22 PM
 
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I couldn’t talk much in labor because it was very intense and short. Mainly moans and groans. I think I said at one point “I’m not getting any breaks”. Once I was pushing, I just kept saying over and over “this is so hard”. That was it. I didn’t even feel like swearing or anything like that. I did bite my husbands hand at one really hard push but he didn’t say a word
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#15 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:26 PM
 
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For the record, ladies, swearing doesn't constitute "mean," especially if it isn't directed at anybody. Rumor has it MWs joke about swearing; it's a positive sign that the baby is about to crown!

Personally, I didn't say anything until after DD was born. At that point, I looked at her and said, "I reeeeeallllly hope you're happy as an only child, kid!"

My favorite story came a few months ago from another poster in this forum who uttered a threat to her scissor-happy OB: "IF...YOU...CUT...ME...I...WILL...SUE....YOU!" Where is that poster, anyway?


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#16 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:26 PM
 
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With my first, I told my mom to *uck off. (She started counting while I was pushing) and that was a medicated birth : With my two unmedicated births I was fine!

Dawn, mama to D (3.06) & N (9.07) C (11.09) & Still-in-shock surprise due in Aug!
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#17 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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The only time I was rude was when DH kept repeating that everything would be ok whenever I moaned. The moaning really helped me and I told him I knew it would be fine and that he needed to stop talking. I also thought beforehand that I would be a royal b*tch, but that didn't happen.
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#18 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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I wish I had snapped at my friend and the midwife as they were chatting away about this and that. It was really annoying and distracting. However, I think I
a: didn't want to waste the energy
b: didn't want to offend them (!)

Interesting what pp said about being focused/introverted-- I am/ was definalty like that in life and labor!

Zoe , mama to Thomas 01-06
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#19 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 06:36 PM
 
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I told dh I would go get a butcher knife and cut his f*****g feet off if he didn't stop running up and down the stairs, but that was about it. He shouldn't have been running up and down the stairs lolol

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#20 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 08:08 PM
 
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I really wasn't that "out of it" during labor. I didn't cuss anybody out or anything like that, LOL. I think I told my MEDwife to go away once or twice and I probably bitched at DP but that's nothing new I do remember being very short with my mom because she arrived at the birth center before us and when we got out of the car she ran right over gushing about the baby and how was I feeling etc and it was just too much. I think I said something like, "nooooo" and just walked right past her and through the door, LOL.

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#21 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 08:13 PM
 
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No, not mean... just a tad of diva-ness, that I do not usually show.

Example..

"That shirt is too hot to touch, take it off" to hubby who was wearing a flannel shirt overlayer while I hung on him during contractions.
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#22 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 08:26 PM
 
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: I think I called my unborn son a b@stard. Or I might have just yelled it out randomly, like, "B@stard!" I don't remember exactly. I was really frustrated at a lot of different things. I do remember that the CNM got a really shocked look on her face. Guess she'd never heard THAT one before.
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#23 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 08:44 PM
 
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There was one point in the hospital where I was breathing through a contraction, and the orderly who was setting up the cart with the midwife's gloves and things got really concerned. He kept asking me, "Are you OK?" and finally DH, nonchalantly in the corner setting up his laptop, told him "She's fine." The contraction ended and I finally piped up, saying dryly, "Yeah, I'm just in labor." I was SO amused by this because it was a LABOR AND DELIVERY WARD. I was easily amused during labor though.

But no, the only really snappish thing I did was to tell my DH to stop stroking my hair or rubbing my back or something while I pushed. Whatever it was was REALLY uncomfortable so I was hardly going to say nothing about it! It hurt his feelings though.
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#24 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 09:48 PM
 
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At one point while I was concentrating during a contraction, one of the midwives poked her head into the room and asked if I wanted them to stay with me or whether I wanted to be alone with my DH. I said "Just go!" though it was more along the lines of stop bugging me while I'm having a contraction. Later my husband said I kicked them out of the room so I guess it came across a bit more strongly than intended.

And I cussed during transition, but only when my husband was around. I was too embarrassed to cuss in front of the midwives ... LOL

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#25 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 09:53 PM
 
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I told DH to shut the F up because he was complaining about feeling nauseous from the cafeteria food while I was in transition and thought my crotch was on fire. Please. I don't want to here about your pain when my vulva is ripping open. He totally deserved it.
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#26 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 09:56 PM
 
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I had been in labor for about 15 hours - hard, active labor. My doctor came in and the nurse asked him if I was dialated to one or two. "Nope, She's dialated to like station forever. " Meaning I was nowhere near were I needed to be.

I looked at him and told him to "shut up and come back to my room when he could be more productive." He laughed at me and told me I could apologize later. I did.

Me:
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#27 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 10:13 PM
 
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I didn't actually say the words...but my head was full of some nasty comments. I remember my sister came in the room and was showing my mom her new coat. "Who the f**k cares about your flippin' coat!!!!!!"

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#28 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 10:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notwonamesalike View Post
I looked at him and told him to "shut up and come back to my room when he could be more productive." He laughed at me and told me I could apologize later. I did.

I don't know.... I think he should have apologized to you!

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#29 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 10:38 PM
 
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I stayed home until late in my labor. When I arrived at the hospital, the nurse said that she would need to send a tech in to take some blood. I was getting ready to get into the tub. The nurse stated that the tech on duty was male and asked if I would prefer a female tech. I mumbled, "I don't give a sh!t." The nursed said, "What?" and I said "I DON'T GIVE A SH!T!" My sweet doula then turned to the nurse and said, "She said she doesn't have a preference."

So, yeah, I guess I was a little bit mean during labor.
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#30 of 93 Old 06-11-2008, 11:15 PM
 
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During transition with DS#2 DH kept patting my hand saying "It's ok. It's ok." over and over and I finally yelled at him to shut up, cuz it was the most annoying thing at that point and not at all helpful. My sister told me just a few days ago something I don't remember at all about my labor with DS#1. She said my MIL was talking and being annoying and I said something along the lines of "somebody get her out of here" but I don't remember that at all, and I really like my MIL so I can't imagine saying that but she swears I was so annoyed at MIL.

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