Am I the only one apalled by stories like this? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 10-11-2003, 11:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I just got back from visiting family out West today. I had known that my cousin was pregnant, but didn't really ponder on it too much, well she had her baby about a week ago, and needless to say my Grandma's house was filled with people this weekend to see the new little one. Ok, you say, normal, right. Well the BIG topic everyone was going ga ga over was the fact that my cousin didn't have time to get to the hospital, so her husband (who is an EMT) delivered the baby in the bathroom. And I hear stories like this ALL the time & think BIG WHOOP, babies weren't intended to be born in institutions, but everyone makes a huge deal about it. I mean c'mon I delievered my last baby in a friggin swimming pool at my friend's house and nobody made a fuss about that. What is up with these people!
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#2 of 19 Old 10-12-2003, 01:29 AM
 
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Appalled is a strong word. And I can understand the hub-bub. A planned home birth is one thing. An unplanned homebirth is scary and rather shocking, particulary to the people involved.
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#3 of 19 Old 10-12-2003, 01:56 AM
 
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Oh yes,and unplanned X location birth is always scary. My dh works an hour and a half away from my house and in my last weeks of pregnancy I was having bad dreams about having my baby alone, in a taxi! and with a driver who wouldn't know what to do!
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#4 of 19 Old 10-12-2003, 02:18 AM
 
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You know what I always find interesting about the unplanned out of hospital births? They give all this credit to the person that caught the baby - when really, in most cases, the woman is the one that gets the badge of honor - spreading her legs to a complete stranger (usually in uniform!). You see the sherriff/cop/etc interviewed on the news like he performed this heroic, lifesaving act. C'mon.

(The same goes for midwives - too many people want to offer all this praise, when in reality, 98% of the time, I didn't do a damn thing! It's somewhat embarassing - the MOTHER and usually her partner deserve the praise for the hard work and unity during the labor/birth!)
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#5 of 19 Old 10-12-2003, 01:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Of course I can understand that an unplanned homebirth can be scary, but what is appalling to me is that they made a huge deal about it, especially when her husband is an EMT, and I know for a fact that he assisted a woman giving birth at a mall in Council Bluffs last year because it was in the news & everything. Everyone just thought it was sooooo wonderful, yet they paid me no mind to giving birth at home or anywhere else, unmedicated, etc...
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#6 of 19 Old 10-12-2003, 02:36 PM
 
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I think it's the whole "man saving a woman in distress" thing. Of course no one wants to hear that women plan these sort of births all the time and take care of themselves.

Funny how these births end up on the news, though. I was born in a wood shop and you don't hear anyone going on about it! (Of course, that was planned.)

It's like that woman who gave birth on a train and people thought she was mentally ill because she was so calm the entire time. If she had been screaming and thrashing about so some man could have rescued her and been a hero, maybe she wouldn't have been threatened with CPS.
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#7 of 19 Old 10-12-2003, 04:07 PM
 
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NAK
the woman on the train got threatened with cps because she let the baby fall out, hit the floor and roll between some seats before she picked it up.
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#8 of 19 Old 10-12-2003, 04:25 PM
 
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So, Odessa, will she planning her next baby at home?
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#9 of 19 Old 10-13-2003, 11:47 AM
 
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If she had been screaming and thrashing about so some man could have rescued her and been a hero, maybe she wouldn't have been threatened with CPS.
How true. I know that that particular case was unusual, but this is what is expected of women and men during labor.

Odessa, I understand why you are frustrated. I take everything to heart when it comes to birth and the whole "birth is scary" idea our society has just drives me nuts. I am glad to be, hopefully, breaking the cycle with my children. I don't want my girls to grow up with that same old fear of childbirth we were all given.
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#10 of 19 Old 10-13-2003, 12:01 PM
 
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when veronica was a lil baby (as opposed to a big baby now, lol) some guy in the tire store was cooing at her and then told me about the AMAZING story of his 3rd child who was born at home, on the couch, because his wife didnt make it into the hospital in time....the paramedics caught the baby i guess....i dont remember. well, he was none too pleased about my lack of shock and awe. then i asked him what they did with the couch, he looked confused and said, 'I dont know, we used it for a few more years, then treelawned it' :
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#11 of 19 Old 10-13-2003, 07:40 PM
 
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Oooh, Greaseball, I think you're right!
It's all about the "rescue" of the "little woman in distress!"

Odessa,
I imagine that it was just a very exciting time for them, planned as it was...
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#12 of 19 Old 10-15-2003, 11:05 AM
 
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Until I began going to LLL I had never met a woman who had had a baby at home (IRL ). Institutionalized births are MUCH more common than homebirths (unfortunatly). If I had a birth at home (planned or unplanned), my entire family would think it was a strange thing and it would get alot of hoopla. It's our society in general.

On the whole "giving the man credit"...I hate that. My hubby says (trying...oh trying to convince him of homebirth for our next baby) that we NEED a doctor there to deliver our baby. I told him that the doctor doesn't deliver the baby......I DO .
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#13 of 19 Old 10-15-2003, 11:26 AM
 
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I think it's the whole "man saving a woman in distress" thing. Of course no one wants to hear that women plan these sort of births all the time and take care of themselves.
Yup! That is it in a nutshell! They will take birth away from us any way they can!
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#14 of 19 Old 10-15-2003, 04:18 PM
 
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You see the sherriff/cop/etc interviewed on the news like he performed this heroic, lifesaving act. C'mon.
It cracks me up when I see this... just last week a female sheriff's deputy delivered a woman in the back of her minivan, and it was a big deal in the papers. Like women haven't been delivering in fields and rice paddies for centuries. :

My DH has been a police officer for 13 years. He'd been working as a cop for about a year when he was the first officer on-scene and delivered a woman in the back seat of his squad car. I asked him, did he feel heroic? "No -- I was scared s---less. I'm just glad that she didn't scream too much."

He refused to grant interviews to the press, even though his chief wanted him to (it was "good P.R." : ) and said that he's glad he knows he can do it, but he'd rather not have to ever again.

My DH... my hero.
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#15 of 19 Old 10-15-2003, 07:49 PM
 
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T

I am about this -

Quote:
Tracy
3vba2c mom of four teens and a little one
all intact, bf, non-vaxed
(the teenagers are weaned)
Good one!

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#16 of 19 Old 10-15-2003, 09:37 PM
 
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Something I read in Birth as an American Rite of Passage - "After birth, the doctor thanks the nurses, the mother thanks the doctor, and no one thanks the mother."
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#17 of 19 Old 10-15-2003, 10:21 PM
 
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Okay, not to be off topic, too, but Tracy, your signature is too too funny!!!!

Thanks for the giggle!

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#18 of 19 Old 10-17-2003, 01:38 AM
 
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OK, I've been trying to ignore this thread, but I just can't seem to keep my big mouth shut.

I am one of those women that had an unplanned, unassisted birth. My little girl was born in the front seat of our minivan, on the side of the freeway. My husband caught her as she came shooting out (literally!) and the paramedics came a few minutes later. I think the reason people makes such a big deal out of it is because it's a dramatic, and to most people, a scary thing. As I think about her birth experience now, I realize how lucky we were that nothing went wrong. I think that people whog o into a homebirth prepared for a homebirth are a lot more prepared for different situations that may arise than someone who is "forced" into a homebirth (or carbirth!) and wasn't planning on it. I was so pumped up on adrenaline that I didn't have time to be scared- it was only afterwards that I realized how scary that situation was and how many things could have gone wrong.

I think in general, that people are attracted to dramatic stories. I don't know about you, but it seems like every I get in a group of women for more than a few minutes, we're sharing birth stories and other dramatic exeriences, and having a baby in such a dramatic fashion will automatically attract some attention.

And just for the record, when people start congratualting my husband for doing such an incredible job (which he did!) I always remind them, sometimes not so gently, that I was the one who did the work. And, I am completly in awe of people who have homebirths. I think that is truly amazing. And although I don't think that my dh and I would ever choose that, I have a lot of respect and admiration for those that do. (Although if my next labor is any shorter than my last, I may not have a choice!)

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
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#19 of 19 Old 10-17-2003, 02:54 AM
 
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the nice thing is, though, that those fast births rarely have any complications at all! Driving (or just being in a car) during transition, though, sounds more painful than transition itself!
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