Originally Posted by Sage.Naissance
If you had of grown balls they might have gotten in the way while you were giving birth.
I am sorry about your traumatising induction. They really are awful.
It wasn't just the induction which is the thing, tthe whole induction was bad enough but its also the way you are treated in hospital.
I admit I wasn't very co operative. According to them I NEEDED the induction because the baby MIGHT die. So they book me in for a Thursday. I think ok, leets just get it done with. Does it happen like that? No, not here anyway (UK). They start with a pessary Thursday Evening. I start getting contractions, the MW tells me to have a bath, contractions die down. I have another pessary Friday morning, contractions start up again, getting quite uncomfortable, we let the MWs know, they say that I will have another pessary that afternoon but for now I can go for a walk. I go for a walk, come back for repeat pessary, they say the delivery ward is to busy and they can't continue until Saturday. RIGHT after they say this, everything stops, still. I am crying, I have been uncomfortable, not got much sleep, everything is feeling all over the place.
Saturday comes, they give me another pessary and say they will be back in the afternoon to talk further about induction things. Contractions start, feeling very uncomfortable and I am getting blistered etc from the pessaries (turns out me and these stupid artificial type hormone things don't get on). Saturday afternoon comes and yeet again, the delivery ward is full. I am in tears again, again everything stops within minutes of the news. I say I am going home and they pull out the 'but the baby might die and it will be your fault, plus we have given you the pessaries now and if you start reacting to them and there is something wrong wwith the baby you might not get back her in time'. I relent and spend the night crying my eyes out.
Sunday they decide to break my waters, by this point I am just fed up and terrified, I just want to be at home with my DH and the baby. They seem nice enough down on the ward but dedspite me having a crap ishops score, they break my waters and the Ob even said 'thats the worst one I have ever had to do'. Nice, not.
Anyway, baby was born Monday morning, after some really crap treatment (ie after waters were broken, DH and I were left to it in a room where the bell didn't work, I ended up with an epidural which didn't work so I then had a spinal whle they resited another epidural, if a MW had just been there to support me, I don't know).
So, anyway, apparently, these inuctions are absolutely necessary to prevent dead babies BUT once they get you in hospital, you can go over your due date, just as long as the hospital thinks they are doing something.
I had no idea about the fact that they would just decide to start and stop things as they wanted. They never tell you that, they can book you in but if things are busy over there, they can keep you hanging.
It makes me so ANGRY. All of it. I didn't know just how that birth had affected me until DD2 came along (homebirth). The difference even now is amazing. The feelings I get when I hold them is different, there are times I just can't stand to be touched by DD1 and it makes me so sad and it makes me feel so guilty. I know it wasn't all my fault, but I was supposed to protect her, and I didn't.
I keep saying, induction doesn't have to bad BUT there are SO MANY stories like mine and it doesn't just affect the birth, there are long lastig consequences for those where things don't go right whether they be physical and/or emotional.