Lies they told us at L&D.... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 04:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello everyone. I am collecting stories of blantant lies that nurses/docs and other hospital staff have told us.

Like, "This won't affect the baby at all." as they administer a narcotic....:


Any good ones out there?
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#2 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 04:49 AM
 
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Not quite a lie, but a definite manipulation.

"I'm afraid that your cervix is going to start swelling."

After 24 hours of labor, in mid-contraction, I heard "I'm afraid that your cervix has started swelling."

I give into the epidural and pitocin, crying about it like a baby.

Only when in Birthing from Within class 3 years later, with my doula present, due to the damage that this birth experience did to me, did I realise what had actually been said. I also drew pictures of closed doors and people whispering, and my doula then confirmed that the nurses and doctors were talking about me outside the door, deciding how to manipulate me into the managed birth that I was refusing. It was a calculated strategy to get me to give in.

I still fantasize about contacting them and telling them how bad I feel about it, eight years on. I am still so angry, as my birth was stolen from me. I hate those nurses so vehemently for what they did to me. But of course, I had a healthy baby, so it was all justified.
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#3 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 07:11 AM
 
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oh I heard great ones, but they were before delivery... some that I remember and can quote:

in reference to BP, amidst me arguing how stupid this was "140/99 is EXTREMELY high blood pressure, we need to get that baby out now!"

I continued to argue the point that 1 high blood pressure read (and one not necessarily high enough) does not indicate Pre E and I wasn't going to submit to induction or planned c-sec... OB looks to my husband and says "She's KILLING your child by giving birth vaginally"

I allowed them to monitor me, if thats what would make them feel better... never repeated and elevated BP, but was forced to do NST's while laying flat on my back: "Your baby had a decel during the braxton hicks... surely, your baby will never handle labor" Once again, said to my husband, not me.

I walked into a hospital 5 hours later for my scheduled c-sec to make my husband stop crying hysterically. Baby was taken at 38 weeks. I stayed home for the 2nd one.
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#4 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 10:08 AM
 
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Well, it technically wasn't in L&D, but my OB/GYN told me that I had "a seven and a half pound pelvis" and if he got any bigger than that I was going to have to have a c-section so my pelvis wouldn't break.

Two years later I had an eight pounder...with no damage to my pelvis whatsoever.

Sometimes I just feel sorry for the medical establishment....living in that much fear cannot possibly be fun.
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#5 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 10:27 AM
 
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I was told, within fifteen minutes of each other:

"There's no way you can be far enough along to push," and then, "You need to get out of the tub NOW so I can check you, we don't want to give birth in the water after all!"

I was also told, "We are going to break your water." Not, we'd like to do this, just, we are.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#6 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 10:31 AM
 
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Pitocin is safe. Pitocin is necessary. You are required to consent to it or you have to leave (mid-labor no less).

Three years ago next week, we were a victim of those very lies. And I wish people would finally be a little more honest about the risks of pitocin...it's NOT safe.

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#7 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 10:32 AM
 
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Oh, and with my first, we were told he was going to be too huge for me to deliver (thank goodness I ignored them...my huge baby--6 lbs 15 oz. He did have a big giant head though. : )

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#8 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 11:20 AM
 
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Said by my regular OB who was going on vacation and wanted to schedule dd1's induction
"Pitocin isn't really that bad, women just think its bad because they're in the hospital already" (It makes a great argument for hb)


I've got lots on the on-call OB who actually caught her

"Stop making noise, its counter productive for your pushes"

"Don't breathe before we stop counting to ten, you need to push for the full count, it doesn't matter that you feel you're going to pass out. We'll just have you lay down flat on your back and give you oxygen between your contractions (but not during them). Oops, it looks like your baby is having decelerations, (looks to my dh) We need to give her the IV you declined in case we have to get this baby out fast, she'll need some drugs" (This was two pushes before she was born)

"Push through the ring of fire"

"Let me know if you start feeling me stitching you up and I'll give you another local" When I said I felt it she said "I'm almost done" No more local.

Heather Mike Married 8/1/99 Mom to Charlotte Aug 04, Nov 06, and Katherine Oct 07
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#9 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 11:39 AM
 
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"Pitocin is the exact same thing as the hormone your body produces, we're just giving you a little kickstart.... No, no, it's the exact same... where do you read this stuff? The Internet?... no, the contractions are the exact same as natural ones..."

"Ok, so there goes your water..." ie, she broke it without my knowledge or consent
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#10 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 11:45 AM
 
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"don't worry, anything we cause, we can fix" As my son's heart starts to decelerate and mine starts to accelerate after we got the epidural.

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

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#11 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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In God we trust; all others must show data. selectivevax.gifsurf.gifteapot2.GIFintactivist.gif
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#12 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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Cytotec is DEFINITELY safer than a foley bulb induction.

If you don't get the Vitamin K shot your baby will die.

The eye ointment protects against all sorts of bacteria - STDs, GBS, everything baby comes in contact with.

Vaginal exams don't increase the risk of infection. (said after SROM)

Amy... mom to
Keith, Henry and Caroline
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#13 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 02:20 PM
 
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you will bleed to death if you attempt a VBAC

your uterus will rupture if you attempt a VBAC

we have to take your baby early Dec. (ONE MONTH before his birth date of 1/1) or you could die



i dont know of others off the top of my head. those are the ones that keep me away from OB's.
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#14 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 05:13 PM
 
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These all came after the labor with my first:

"Your pelvis is misshapen."

"Your pelvis is very, very small."

"You probably couldn't ever birth a baby bigger than 6 pounds."

"If this were the 1800s, both you and your baby would have died."

"We don't know how you had a cervical laceration" (you effing DID IT TO ME during surgery)

"If you try a VBAC, your cervical scar will split open again."

.....Fast forward to me birthing a 8 lb. 4 oz. baby at home. with no lasting complications. Mmmmkay then!
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#15 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 06:08 PM
 
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:

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#16 of 53 Old 08-30-2008, 06:26 PM
 
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Technically not L&D but at my first OB appt. the midwife told me that I was "a 'section' waiting to happen" when she found out that I was 5 feet tall. Needless to say, I ended up switching practices and had a wonderful natural (almost water!) birth.
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#17 of 53 Old 08-31-2008, 02:39 PM
 
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Oh, I forgot one more. When I was fully dilated, the CNM told me to start pushing. I said no, because I didn't feel the urge yet. She got up in my face and said, "If you push now you can have this baby out in an hour, but if you fight it, it will take twice as long." I started pushing. Guess how long I pushed? FOUR HOURS.
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#18 of 53 Old 08-31-2008, 06:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
"Pitocin is the exact same thing as the hormone your body produces, we're just giving you a little kickstart.... No, no, it's the exact same... where do you read this stuff? The Internet?... no, the contractions are the exact same as natural ones..."
Heard that one myself...

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#19 of 53 Old 08-31-2008, 06:12 PM
 
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See my birth story in my siggie....it was one lie after another from every HCP that came into contact with me.

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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#20 of 53 Old 08-31-2008, 10:05 PM
 
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When the external monitor kept falling off they said, "If you just let us give you an internal monitor it will make it easier for you to move around," I consented and then the cords got caught on the bed every time I tried to get up during a contraction.

After 9 hours of labor during transition when I was 7-8 centimeters they said, " You need to consider having an epidural or a C-Section," I became hysterical and consented to an epidural that I still regret.

And that's only two of the stupid things they said to me in labor.
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#21 of 53 Old 08-31-2008, 10:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluegirl91695 View Post
Technically not L&D but at my first OB appt. the midwife told me that I was "a 'section' waiting to happen" when she found out that I was 5 feet tall. Needless to say, I ended up switching practices and had a wonderful natural (almost water!) birth.
I am five feet tall, small to medium build, and 100-120 pounds not pregnant and I had four home births. Thank G-d I never listened to people who said things like that to me.
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#22 of 53 Old 09-01-2008, 12:35 AM
 
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This was afterwards, but both times I was told that nipple confusion is a myth and that I shouldn't let SJ nurse 'on demand' or for 'that long' or else I'd become a "human pacifier."

To which I repeatedly replied, I am breastfeeding, this helps my milk come in better, and it's better for her and me. We have a good latch. We do not need a pacifier!

They thought I was really weird.

Not all who wander are lost.
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#23 of 53 Old 09-01-2008, 01:02 AM
 
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In a INTERVIEW a CNM told me if I refused a epsiotomy I would "blow my ass out"
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#24 of 53 Old 09-01-2008, 03:20 AM
 
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I was told by an OB I later left that pitocin wasn't so bad. I had told her that I had heard from many women how difficult pitocin made a pain medication free labor because the intensity and frequency of the contractions. She told me that they just weren't experiencing "real" labor without the drug so they didn't know what it was supposed to feel like.

This from a woman who had an elective c-section.

The next time I saw her was to tell her I had switched to another practice.
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#25 of 53 Old 09-01-2008, 11:41 AM
 
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with a friend- she said no pit- they gave it to her and said it was for hydration. with this giant neon sticker saying PITOCIN in big letters. apparently neither of us can read :sigh:
then they gave her, knowing she had a history of drug abuse morphine and a LOT of it and said theres nothing contradictory in that.
THEN the circ stuff in the pamphlets were lies and they never told her a risk of an epi is paralysis. wasnt in the consent form at all! i said it, she was told i was nuts, they kicked me out and got her to sign it. uhh..duh, something going IN YOUR SPINE has the possibility of paralyzing you.

mine....
if i didnt get an epi, id be begging later and be sorry

got told that i was pushing way too long. and she put the vacuum cup in her hand entirely and just shoved. wow that wasnt fun. SHE ripped me, not my son! (only needed a couple stitches, and theres no problems from it, but still!) she said either push NOW or she was using it and got a nurse to bring the machine to her. i pushed SEVEN TIMES TOTAL! it was 3 or 4 when she did this. how the bloody flippin *$(# is that too long? i know they were mad my contractions werent on top of each other making me push solidly and i refused to push when not contracting ( i said "no, wait, im not having one" a few times and got irrtated looks and huffs and signs and tapping feet) but geez.

that he had brown hair, and no way could it be red (yeah this still has me baffled 3.5 years later...i was looking at the kids head and was like...uhh..no, its red. its definitely red! no way could you think this is brown!)

i asked if they had anything but the pit. she looked shocked i knew the difference and had a problem and said cytotec, my choice. i said NO WAY and she said theres nothing wrong with it, among other things. right. she ended up giving me a foley while the pit was really low because i *really* didnt want the pit at all, and i hoped that would work to start my own labor, but nope and then they cranked it up anyway without letting me wait a bit to see :sigh:

he would have a brain bleed and die if i didnt submit to the vit k

then that if i didnt get the screening test, hed die for sure

THEN if i didnt get the hearing test that hed be deaf (wth?)

ill still think i know ive posted a few more.
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#26 of 53 Old 09-09-2008, 12:20 AM
 
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First birth:

When I asked my doc if I could do intermittant monitoring she said "that's something you just read about on the internet... no one actually does that". (Actually that might not have been a lie... hardly anyone here does do that.)

At 36 weeks she said I should be scheduled for induction at 38 weeks just because. I refused. At 40 weeks she checked me and I was c/t/h... she said "well, you certainly can't be induced now... you're cervix is completely closed". Hmmm... but I could have been induced at 38weeks? Funny how that works... I think she thought it would be punishing me because surely I would be desperate to get the baby out by 40 weeks.

"You won't want to move around in labor. No one likes to move when they are in hard labor." And of course I didn't move. I was hooked up to an iv, bp cuff, and fetal monitors.

Second birth was much better. No lies.
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#27 of 53 Old 09-09-2008, 12:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
"Pitocin is the exact same thing as the hormone your body produces, we're just giving you a little kickstart.... No, no, it's the exact same... where do you read this stuff? The Internet?... no, the contractions are the exact same as natural ones..."
Ugh!



Now that *is* a blatant lie. If I had been there, I would have argued so much with him.

-Caitrin

Me whistling.gif Wife / SAHM / Musician/ Actress/ Queen of this castle. Progeny: William (January 2007), Tristan (November 2008) and expecting Lukas stork-boy.gif due January 2012!!  lactivist.gif femalesling.GIFwaterbirth.jpg dishes.gif

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#28 of 53 Old 09-09-2008, 12:34 AM
 
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I got off lucky.

I was induced at 42 weeks. My midwife works for an OB one day a week, so I transferred to her practice. Ricci (my midwife) apparently told everyone at the hospital that I was a nurse and a midwifery student, I know my stuff, and don't even bother feeding me the rhetoric, because I'll know they're BS-ing me.

: I LOVE MY MIDWIFE! :

(I'm neither a nurse, nor a midwifery student, by the way...)

The OB told me when I was in recovery that I was a c-sec all day long for any other doctor. I had the hospital bending rules to make SURE I could go vaginally. 37 hours of labor, man. That was some hard going.
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#29 of 53 Old 09-09-2008, 01:21 AM
 
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"No, you have to lie on your back to push. Otherwise the baby will get stuck on the pelvic bone"
- L&D nurse, in response to my request to be in any other position BESIDES my back

Argued feebly but was too far in laborland to haul myself into another position without help. Tore fairly badly that time. I tore much less with #2 where I lay on my side to push, thanks to my midwives.

To be fair, that 1st L&D nurse was pretty supportive - considering her mainstream hospital/OB context - on almost all the rest of my birth plan, so I think she may have been genuinely ignorant not technically *lying*.
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#30 of 53 Old 09-09-2008, 09:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsHiss View Post
In a INTERVIEW a CNM told me if I refused a epsiotomy I would "blow my ass out"
Wow, if i ever heard a professional use those words I would probably LMAO at the stupididty and then never return

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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