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#61 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 02:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
ps- giving birth is not a contest
Exactly. While I would NEVER purposely try and scare a pregnant mom with stories about how horrible I suffered in my labor until my epidural was placed I would also hope that a mom who chose to give birth naturally would not demean my choice and say that I am most certainly seething with jealousy on the inside that others gave birth naturally while I needed the assistance of pain medication. No two women feel or react pain the same, not all births are equal, and giving birth naturally was not in the cards for everyone. I feel no shame in my decision, I know that it was the right choice for me. There are many times that mom's who choose epidurals are described here as uneducated idiots and in many cases that is simply not the case. I have friends that have had completely natural births and I celebrated their accomplishments just as they celebrated the medicated births of my daughters.

My birth my choices - I will respect the decisions you make if you will give me the same respect for my choices.
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#62 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 02:34 PM
 
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I'm on my fifth pregnancy and I still get unwanted and unsolicited advice regarding birth. I just tell them I think I've got it figured out by now. I've gone without epidural or pain meds with all four of my births including two that were induced with pitocin due to Pre-e.

I think it's just like anything else in parenting/birthing. If you feel extremely strong about how you want to do it and you educate yourself, you will do just fine. I think it was wrong of them to be so rude about your choices just like it would be rude for you to belittle them about choosing a medicated birth.
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#63 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 02:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Arwyn View Post
It's because either way, they're denying you status as a normal, capable human woman. Either "no one can do that" or "no one NORMAL can do that". It's still denying that while natural birth in this culture is something of an accomplishment, what it really is is something 90%+ of all women could do fairly easily in the right circumstances.
Arwyn, thank you so much for this insight. I too am uncomfortable when someone who learns about my birth experience begins to flip out and talk about how I must be so very (fill in the blank) - brave, crazy, strong, etc. I feel like a very normal person most of the time, but responses like that make me feel embarrassed and somehow LESS than normal. Your response made me like this - !

I feel that wherever and however a mother feels safest giving birth, is the best place and circumstance for her. Some women feel safest in the hospital with an epidural. Others feel safest scheduling a C/S. Others want to give birth without anyone in attendance. I support everyone's right to make this decision for themselves, and OP, I am sorry that those women did not afford you the same courtesy. Oh, and definitely, you can do it!!
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#64 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 02:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
Thanks, I like to think that I'm prepared. But I can't think of how to be. I read natural birth stories and watch hundreds of birth videos. I don't know how to practice birth! Any advice?
I haven't read all the replies, but have you taken a class in natural childbirth? I personally loved Hypnobirthing. You will do great!

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#65 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 05:47 PM
 
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Thanks, I like to think that I'm prepared. But I can't think of how to be. I read natural birth stories and watch hundreds of birth videos. I don't know how to practice birth! Any advice?
You really can practice actually! Practice relaxing by lying down in bed at night with your DH and having him guide you through breathing, visualizing, and loosening every muscle of your body. I practiced using the exercises in "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" by Susan McCutcheon.

Also there are examples of different positions - side-lying, squatting, draping yourself over a birth ball, leaning on your husband, etc. - which you can also "practice" using to see what is most comfortable. A good book with great photos of different labor positions is Sheila Kitzingers' Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth. During labor you don't want to be thinking about what to do to make yourself feel better, if you've already gotten familiar with a bunch of them physically then you can automatically try them out during contractions to see what works best for you.

I know it seems silly but DH and I set a couple minutes aside at night before bed to do it, even just 1 or 2 times a week, it was kind of nice. Helped DH get better prepared too - he had practiced what to say to me during labor and was therefore able to help me relax.
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#66 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 06:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dancindoula View Post
I'm pretty sure pp's who have said to pity people like that are NOT referring to every single woman who has had drugs in labor, but to women who feel the need to put others down for anticipating a drugfree labor. TCMoulton, I can't imagine you would ever make those kind of catty, fear-mongering remarks. I truly believe that people who DO make these mean-spirited remarks are coming from a personal sense of failure and disappointment with themselves, thus trying to build themselves up by tearing another down. You are satisfied with your birth, you're confident you made the best decision you could for your situation at that moment, and you have every reason to be, so you don't feel the need to lash out at others in that way. Some women do, though. And it sucks when they give in to that temptation.
: I couldn't have said it better if I'd tried. Thank you!
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#67 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 06:40 PM
 
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I practiced with ice (i think it was kitzinger who suggested it). I got a bucket of water with a lot of ice in it, and i stuck my hand in it, and i timed out a minute while i sat in silence thinking about the pain (it hurt!). Then i took it out, and let it warm up, while i stuck the OTHER hand in the ice. This time DP timed and we talked about other things. Eventually i said "Is a minute up yet" and he replied "Just over FOUR minutes are up" I felt SO EMPOWERED by that little experiment! The hugeness of the difference in the pain i experienced was so vast - like night and day! Then we did pinching - another kitzinger i think. DP picked up and pinched firmly some of the flesh of each of my inner thighs. Enough that i din't bruise from the pinching. He then set the timer and pinched with his grip getting harder and harder to a "peak" and then dying away again to simulate a contraction. I talked, i breathed, i tried out all the little things i'd read. We did several experiments using different tighnesses of grip and patterns of tightening (he even did me a double-peaked one without warning!) and we noted things like how with progressive intensity i could totally handle it, whereas with suddenly much harder pinching it was very hard to integrate, though still possible. And i KNEW then, i could do it, i could get through labour, because i really experienced how the relaxation techniques can work. And i DID get a very intense labour and in the end i used entonox because when i was desperate to push the midwives thought i wasn't dilated enough yet (they had just checked and i was only 2-3) so i breathed gas and air and roared through the peaks for an hour and then DD spontaneously crowned. I remember looking at her lying on my belly and thinking "can i push now?", so those experiments on how to handle suddenly much more intense ones really did help.

Next time i will go completely drug free, because i'll ignore the midwife if necessary and PUSH during the 2rd stage! LOL.

You can TOTALLY do this drug free. Believe it, and it can be true
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#68 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 07:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
I gave birth vaginally to my first daughter with an epidural in place - believe me, I do not want your pity. I am not disappointed in myself nor am I any less proud. Statements like this are just as hurtful as what was said to the OP - why can't we accept that we all have a different ideal when it comes to a birthing experience and leave it at that.
Are you one of the women who were mean to the OP? Because that's who I was talking about.
I call them like I see them - if a woman states that she "was cocky too" (ie, wanted a natural birth) and tries to intimidate another mom who wants one and convince her it's impossible, well, that looks like jealousy and bitterness to me.
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#69 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 08:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everyone who has responded!
I have been thinking about what I can say to my friend who wanted the natural birth but got an epidural instead. If she brings it up again I can just tell her that God made us to give birth. The Bible says in 3 different verses: "I am wonderfully and fearfully made""God will not give us more than we can bear""I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Since we all go to church together, how can they deny that logic?
I agree that birth is not a contest.
I just want what's best for my baby. You know? Epidurals affect babies. It's been proven.
http://www.transitiontoparenthood.co...epiduralfx.htm
Not to mention that I want to breastfeed exclusively and it's been proven that epidural babies have more trouble breastfeeding than natural born babies.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like I made the right choice (for me and Corbin) and I don't care if "they" try to talk me out of it.
It still hurts me that my friend would treat me like that, but maybe she didn't realize how hurtful she was.
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#70 of 104 Old 09-23-2008, 08:21 PM
 
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I'm hoping to avoid the subject of birth with most people, because of this. Like religion and politics, it's really a personal choice and not others' business what I do.

I find that most of the women who make nasty comments about (the kind the OP brings up) never took the time to really learn about natural birth. Then they take their disappointing/traumatic birth experiences out on new mothers.

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#71 of 104 Old 09-24-2008, 02:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Arwyn View Post
It's because either way, they're denying you status as a normal, capable human woman. Either "no one can do that" or "no one NORMAL can do that". It's still denying that while natural birth in this culture is something of an accomplishment, what it really is is something 90%+ of all women could do fairly easily in the right circumstances.
Yes! I agree so much with this.

When I was pregnant with dd2, I was a bridesmaid in a large wedding party. One other bridesmaid had had a child, the rest were college-age and single. We were talking about childbirth (probably because, there I was, big and pregnant ) .... I said that I think more women can do it naturally than realize it, and to research it and give it a try at least, you may find it's totally manageable. And that, for me, it was like bad menstrual cramps - certainly hurt at the end, but manageable.

The other bridesmaid (a friend), said, "Oh, but elanorh is a superwoman! It hurts a LOT, just get an epidural!" And went on to tell how much it hurt, that her epidural only worked on one side so she got the pain on that side and it was terrible.

So I got to protest that, well, I don't think I'm extraordinary, and actually have a pretty low pain threshold. But at that point it didn't really matter what I said, I'd already been put up as the Earth Mother Super Woman Who Does What Other Women Can't.

Not all who wander are lost.
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#72 of 104 Old 09-24-2008, 03:10 AM
 
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It makes me sad that an out of (moms) control medicated birth is the norm..and that bottle feeding babies is the norm too. I got the royal treatment about both but will say between the 8 years that I had my first and my last things have changed for the better.
poor women mocking you they probably feel sad that they didn't get to experience their births on their terms. Maybe they liked being zoned out, who knows
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#73 of 104 Old 09-24-2008, 05:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
Thanks, I like to think that I'm prepared. But I can't think of how to be. I read natural birth stories and watch hundreds of birth videos. I don't know how to practice birth! Any advice?
Hold an ice cube in your hand for a minute. Keep breathing. If you can do that, you can do labour It's just one contraction at a time. I love GoBecGo's ideas, too.
I'd try being honest with them, and telling them that you're feeling sad and angry and belittled and hurt, and right now, a few months before meeting your baby this is the last thing you need. : It might work, but lets face it, in a few months you're going to be the freaky natural-birthing nutcase anyhow.

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#74 of 104 Old 09-24-2008, 10:53 AM
 
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I think every woman has a decision to make when it comes to birth and it's her decision. It just makes me sad that society makes women so afraid of birth that they are afraid of the pain. I'm not upset at those women because I have been scared too. I have watched a baby story and seen those women screaming, but I don't think it has to be that way. We should be there for each other to encourage each other no matter what your birth choice is. Having a baby should be a celebration, not a time to feel bad about yourself. So, if you choose epidural be confident in your decision, if you decide to go natural be confident in your decision. If your not confident that your doing the right thing, then rethink your plan and figure out what is right for you. Go with your instincts mamas. We have them for a reason. I felt bad about my decisoin to have epidural with my first because of the ladies that said I could not have a natural birth. In my case I couldn't go natural or I would have had a c=section due to being in labor for 3 days before pushing and not sleeping during that time until epidural. Without that epidural I would have been too tired to push him out. Even my midwife was confident in that decisoin. I now know I made the right decision. Point being listen to your gut and do what is right for you. Not because your scared of what others have said, but because it's what is right for you.
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#75 of 104 Old 09-24-2008, 02:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by elanorh View Post
Yes! I agree so much with this.

When I was pregnant with dd2, I was a bridesmaid in a large wedding party. One other bridesmaid had had a child, the rest were college-age and single. We were talking about childbirth (probably because, there I was, big and pregnant ) .... I said that I think more women can do it naturally than realize it, and to research it and give it a try at least, you may find it's totally manageable. And that, for me, it was like bad menstrual cramps - certainly hurt at the end, but manageable.

The other bridesmaid (a friend), said, "Oh, but elanorh is a superwoman! It hurts a LOT, just get an epidural!" And went on to tell how much it hurt, that her epidural only worked on one side so she got the pain on that side and it was terrible.

So I got to protest that, well, I don't think I'm extraordinary, and actually have a pretty low pain threshold. But at that point it didn't really matter what I said, I'd already been put up as the Earth Mother Super Woman Who Does What Other Women Can't.
Or they assume you had easy births. I have heard I don't know how many times, "Oh you are just lucky you have easy births." They will say that when we aren't even talking about birth because I also have 7 kids and so they think why would anyone do that unless it was easy as pie for them. I don't understand the desire to take away from a woman's experience, to belittle them. It would hurt my heart so much to do that to another person.

To the OP: You know what I did? I took all the mantras that other women gave me and repeated them over and over and over again. So when birth came those mantras where right there in my mind ready to lift me up and get me through. When labor came I thought of all the things I couldn't do in a min. I can't hold my breath for a min but I can get through a min long contraction. Getting through a contraction is easier than holding my breath! I can do this! I also took baths with lavender and candles 2-3 times a week. So when the birth came there was a Pavlovian response to relax when I lit candles and smelled lavender. Now I still relax whenever I smell lavender.

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#76 of 104 Old 09-24-2008, 03:09 PM
 
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I got the same comments, but I proved them wrong. I scaled the wall I couldn't see the top of. My dh, doula, m/w, and nurse all believed in me and that's all I needed. It also helped that my mom got through labor quickly and with no epidural - she did have one shot of nubain/other general loopy med, but NO epidural.

DS - 5! - adopted at birth after infertility, IUI, and IVF; DD - 4! - surprise pregnancy discovered when DS was 8 months old ; Hoping for another soon (actively TTC ~ 2 years)
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#77 of 104 Old 09-24-2008, 03:29 PM
 
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Hugs.Labor might make you holler.It's not gonna kill you.The drugs and interventions can.(I'm talking about a normal healthy labor here)
My first was easy,2 and 3 were gentle with a 3hour intensive at the end.4,5,6,I barely had time to breath...and they were 3,2,and 1 hour labors.My last was hard,36 hrs.I didn't do anything for 9 months,it seemed like I was gonna have another m/c every time I did.Had to wear a backbrace for three months,even in my sleep....But I did it and so can you.
There's a lot of idiots out there who have never thought outside the box,who think What to Expect When Your Expecting tells the whole story,and please don't even let me get started on the ones I've run into who think the doctor is god....
Birth can be tough,it can be gentle and easy.For most of us it's usually a combination of the two.
Sending happy birth vibes your way:::::::
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#78 of 104 Old 09-24-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by elanorh View Post

So I got to protest that, well, I don't think I'm extraordinary, and actually have a pretty low pain threshold. But at that point it didn't really matter what I said, I'd already been put up as the Earth Mother Super Woman Who Does What Other Women Can't.
Heh, me too. I haven't really discussed my birth yet with anyone other than gung-ho natural birth fanatics, but I'm sure when I do I'll get those same comments. I, too,have a very low pain threshold. Heck I fainted when I got my lip pierced! But birth pains are a different kind of pain, and you have two choices: hide from and fight them, and make it worse, or just roll with it and wait for it to be over. I chose to roll with it. Hiding from the pain was not an option for me. Yes it was the most colossal, intense pain I've ever felt, but the point is that I STILL DID IT. And if a big wuss like me can handle it, anyone can!
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#79 of 104 Old 09-25-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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Thanks, I like to think that I'm prepared. But I can't think of how to be. I read natural birth stories and watch hundreds of birth videos. I don't know how to practice birth! Any advice?
Well I don't take any meds during pregnancy, even when I've got a full blown migraine, I just learn to deal with it.. not that it doesnt hurt but its my way of prepping. Reading what another pp said makes me sorta laugh, I took no classes or anything, just went into dd labor knowing this is what I was going to do and preparing myself for the worst possible pain. I had contractions for 36 hours, 5 of that was active and they gradually stepped up in pain. The 5 were definitely uncomfortable and painful but I was on here typing and reading in between contractions... the worst pain was when I was pushing, I felt her squeezing through my cervix and all the stretching through the birth canal. Thankfully that only lasted about 20 min. (the time that I actually was pushing).

I got similar responses from women at my church and more-so since they were aware of my intention to UC. They may not trust their bodies or have faith that God designed our bodies perfectly to birth, but I do.

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#80 of 104 Old 09-25-2008, 04:38 PM
 
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I heard it tons of times... Even after I gave birth, without epidural, other mothers rolled their eyes at me and called me crazy. Oh boy who cares, important is that you do what you want and get what you want. Of course at some point in labor many people say oh gosh I want pain relief, I certainly said so, but that's why I had DH with me (any support person will do) to encourage me and go through with it. I knew that I might cave since I hate pain, but like I said, that's why my strong DH was my back up plan and it worked... He talked me through the pain and out of the pain meds...
What's funny is the thought of pain meds actually never occurred to me, labor wasnt so bad until closer to the end and I knew it would be over soon. Pushing was shockingly painful yet I wasn't thinking of getting any pain meds, I just screamed and told myself I would never do it again

But of course I will, and since it wasn't videotaped like it was supposed to be, I find myself eager to do it again!
Did I mention I want 8 kids? And I consider UC the only way to birth!

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#81 of 104 Old 09-25-2008, 04:56 PM
 
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[QUOTE=justice'smom;12240636]I can see how that comment would offend you. I don't think, and I could be wrong, but I don't think she meant that comment to all women that have had epidurals. I think she meant the comment to be for those ladies that said those comments. I tend to agree that any women that says to another women there's no way you can do it, is probably upset that she didn't. All births are beautiful because at the end you have a beautiful baby. I too had an epidural with my first, unplanned, but it didn't and doesn't make me any less of a person for it. I did have a natural birth and something is definantly missed when you have an epidural. I say that also to clarify what the poster had said. I personally think all of our birth experiences should be celebrated.[/QUOTE

Ok I've posted twice but just wanted to add one more thing. I had an epi with ds, signed up for that the day I decided I wanted to be a mommy more than anything else (soooo like as a young girl) and thought that why go through pain if you dont have to? I said similar things to other women I talked to about they will want the epi and even telling a friend just get the epi "trust me". It wasnt about projecting any sorrow I had about my own birth, I honestly thought that was the only way to do it. It's kinda like when you are preggo and TONS of women are giving you "advice", they don't mean to annoy you (ok maybe some do) but they are usually sincere and genuinely think they are gonna help you.

Now that I've had a natural birth I totally understand how telling another momma that "you will want the epi" can be very unhelpful to a women who really has that desire to birth naturally. I didn't with ds and took the epi with the first few contractions (granted I was on pit) but with dd I actually looked forward to all the feelings/sensations and yes even the pain, so I think the difference in the attitude it whats important. I was totally prepared for the worst pain imaginable and that really helped.

Hope that helps some understand both sides...

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#82 of 104 Old 09-25-2008, 05:40 PM
 
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Oh momma! I feel you. Listen, I am THE BIGGEST WIMP in the world. I mean, I bawl like a baby over a paper cut, and I had a natural childbirth. I don't feel like I needed an epidural.

You'll be fine! Trust in yourself!
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#83 of 104 Old 09-26-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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Don't get anxious, get MAD! For me, every skeptical comment I got made me more determined than ever to have a natural childbirth. I wanted to do it because it was the best thing for me and my baby, but almost as much I wanted to prove those skeptics wrong! It was as though I had made a public commitment to go through with this thing, and there was no way I was going to go back in the office with my tail between my legs and admit they were right.
This was a good part of my thinking. I had one woman irritated with me when I said I birthed ds without drugs. She got mad and said that the pain was so bad with her child that she never wanted anymore. She last gave birth in the early 70's, strapped down and with all the indignities that were proposed on many women back then...so I can see why she'd want drugs and never want to have more kids either. I'm sorry that happened to her. I don't need that negativity though.

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#84 of 104 Old 09-28-2008, 01:38 PM
 
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I heard the same things during my pregnancy. A lot of it has to do with their inability to go through birth without epidural themselves so just ignore them. They would say to me, "Good luck with that...that was my intention, too!" Just because they couldn't do it doesn't mean you can't. I was reading a thread today about moms who had epidural feeling residual numbness for 6 weeks after birth or as long as 2 years so that's something you can avoid among other things. You will give birth naturally so don't worry!
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#85 of 104 Old 09-28-2008, 06:47 PM
 
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For me, those comments were part of what it took to make me not even want medication during labor. I could see why people would get medication, but that stubbornness gave me extra incentive to just do it my own way. Along with all of the better reasons to give birth naturally!

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#86 of 104 Old 10-03-2008, 02:11 PM
 
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You can do it! I'm a total wimp when it comes to pain . . . and my daughter's birth was 100% natural--in a hospital! The whole time I was pregnant, people were saying all kinds of hurtful things to me (although they didn't mean to be that way). Even my best friend said I was nuts for not wanting the epidural, and my mom was like, "there's no shame in it if you need it." It seemed like everyone was conspiring against my self-confidence. But labor is so different from anything I've ever experienced--and yes, it did hurt, but it was more like hard work (hence they call it labor) than any other pain I've experienced. I would describe it most of all as powerful. And I'm so glad I went natural--I'd do it all over again
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#87 of 104 Old 10-03-2008, 03:00 PM
 
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I haven't read the other replies yet, but wanted to weigh in anyway.
My journey to natural CB started with the fact that I knew the CS rate in the US was high - higher than other industrialized nations - and therefore probably many were unnecessary. I wanted to avoid an unnecessary CS. I don't trust doctors anyway (hehe.. I really don't trust anyone) So I figured I had to get educated and advocate for myself rather than blindly trust a doc's words.

So I bought the book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth." Then, there was no doubt in my mind I was skipping epidural! DH & I signed up for Bradley training. At that point in time, I figured I could "suck it up & deal with the pain." It was worth enduring the pain to avoid the risks and, primiarly, the cascade of other medical interventions that the epidural can often lead to.

But I then decided to read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth." and something amazing happened.. I learned that natural CB isn't just about "sucking it up & enduring the pain." Natural CB could be wonderful & amazing - in and of itself! I HIGHLY recommend this book.

I personally decided to stop telling people I was planning a natural birth, unless I was pretty sure they would be supportive. (So... I very rarely said anything since few Americans are supportive.) DH told me that people would say to him, "Yea right! Whatever, she'll be begging for that epidural." But I told him to stop telling me when people said this to him. It made me mad! I wanted to snap back, "Just because you weren't strong enough to handle it, doesn't mean I won't be either." Of course, that is rude and mean and I won't say it, but I thought it.

And, honestly, it's true! Just because the ladies you talk to didn't THINK they could go naturally does NOT mean that you won't be able to either.

I also highly recommend avoiding these conversations altogether. They have the "Trump card" so to speak in that they have been there - you have not. No matter what you say, they can always come back with, "Yeah, that is all well and good until you feel those contractions! You don't know what you are talking about! You haven't felt it. You WILL ask for that epidural!" And, there is just nothing you can say in response to that. The conversation goes no where. It is not a conversation worth having. So it's therefore best to avoid altogether.

I'm certified as a fitness instructor & personal trainer. I remember reading that studies show athletes perform better when they VISUALIZE succeeding in their mind - like basketball players picturing throwing free throws. I think birth must be the same way. I spent time throughout the last months of pregnancy imagining myself in labor & feeling the pains, but breathing through them, coping with them, being relaxed. That's a big part of Bradley training too - practicing your relaxation techniques with your DH/DP/Coach. I also practiced my mantras with things like:
- I'll never feel THAT contraction again
- I'm that much closer
- I am no hat!
(heheh.. that's analogy from "The Thinking WOman's Guide to a better birth." a lady who had & epidural & felt nothig siad it was like watching a rabbit being pulled from a hat. Being the hat is a far cry from being the magician! I told myself I would not be an inert, inactive object from which a baby would be removed. I would give birth.)

To that end, if you want to build a strong vision in your mind of a great natural birth, I think it's important to not only avoid the nay-sayers, but surround yourself with those who HAVE done it naturally & think it is a great thing. (I had a FABULOUS birth experience! ) So it's good that you are here now!
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#88 of 104 Old 10-03-2008, 09:04 PM
 
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I have a very hard time with this in my family. I actually have a hard time explaining anything about my parenting decisions to people in my family which can be especially frustrating. My degree is in Child and Family Development, you'd think they could accept that I might actually know what I'm talking about when it comes to parenting. The natural birth thing though is difficult because I'm so excited about it. This is my first pregnancy and I just feel in my heart like this is what I was meant to do. Pregnancy has agreed with me so well and I feel very complete right now. I've been doing a lot of reading about natural birth and the more information I gather the more excited I am about actually putting into action. And all my family can say is "you're gonna want that epidural". No I don't! I can't seem to get that across to them. I feel like the birth of my child is something I want to be completely involved in, not something I want to escape from and is one thing in my life that I actually can do completely on my own. I was made to do this! It's very frustrating to be told I'm not strong enough before I even get there...

Mallory. Happily married to Joe since 6/25/05. Loving my adventure with my girls, Owyn Samantha, born 3/1/09. dust.gif and Greta June, born 11/2/11  babygirl.gif

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#89 of 104 Old 10-03-2008, 09:21 PM
 
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I had comments like that too and responded with, "well, S (my youngest son who was with me at the time) was born at home naturally without pain medication, weren't you S?!" That shut her up very quickly and she kinda ran away. My DD who was born UC at the end of May was all natural too! Don't let it shake your confidence, use that negativity to follow through with your plans. Yeah, it hurts, learn how to work with your body and to surrender to the experience and you will get through it better than just fine. Our bodies were made for this!
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#90 of 104 Old 10-05-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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I haven't read all of the replies, but I want to jump in. I think this is all so much more difficult for first time moms.
With ds1, I had so many people telling me this crap. Don't listen to them. They don't know anything. If you *do* listen to them, they'll ruin it for you, imho. I was talked into getting... "augmented" which lead to further medical "interventions". : Jerks.
With ds2, it was basically just dh and I when it came time for the birth. I was adamant that I was going to have a natural birth. DH was totally supportive. Just as I knew, my body knew what to do. DS2 was born with no medical interventions, beyond a mw to catch him (in a hospital because I was told antibiotics were my only option to deal with GBS- need to do more research on that this time).
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that you're going to do fine. The reason so many women end up with such horrible experiences (imo) where their anasthesiologist (spelling's messed sorry) is their "best friend" in labor is because they are so scared. Don't let them scare you, mama! Your body knows what to do and so do you!
My second birth, btw, I learned a couple of things I want to pass on. It might seem ridiculous, but relax your face. And remember, slow, flow, down. Let it all slowly flow down your body. Don't tell yourself to relax. Find a mantra that's good for you.

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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