for those who m/c'd in the 1st trimester, what did you do with the remains? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-17-2009, 01:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am sitting around the house waiting for my miscarriage to "start". after two episodes of very light spotting over the weekend, I went for a US yesterday to find there is no heartbeat. after a great US at 8.5 weeks, it appears that the baby stopped developing at 9 weeks. I am now 10.5 weeks.
i can't stop thinking about what i'm going to find when this happens. one of my reason's for not having a d&C was b/c i didn't want to leave what was left of this pregnancy at the hospital. it felt wrong to me. however, i have no clue what i will do with it when the time comes. we live in a rental house, so some type of burial here is not an option.
could you please tell me what you did? i have no ideas here.
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#2 of 7 Old 03-17-2009, 01:56 PM
 
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My dh buried the little fetus for us in our indoor orange tree, which is in a huge pot. It was perfect, as far as I could tell, which really broke my heart. We move a lot, too, and that's why we decided to put it in there.



I'm sorry!

Mommy to kids

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#3 of 7 Old 03-17-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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I think there are some mamas who froze theirs to bury later when they had a place to do so.

I did not keep mine. For whatever reason, I couldn't bear it. I kept it for about 24 hours and then got rid of it. It was, perhaps, a very regrettable decision. I don't know, I really don't. I'm not far enough out yet to know whether it was a mistake or not, if that makes any sense. Given the chance to do it over, I probably would have frozen it and/or buried it in the backyard so that I wouldn't regret it.

Monica, mom to Lilly (7) and Carter (4) and rainbow baby Elsa (11/27/10).
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#4 of 7 Old 03-18-2009, 01:23 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss. After waiting for a natural m/c, I ended up with a d and c. I asked the doctor for the remains and it was no big deal. I was 13wks, but the baby dies around 9 weeks, we think.

We put them in a little box and buried them in the grotto at our church. It is a beautiful spot with a garden and a koi pond and fountain. Our pastor had a little private service for my dh and me. It was really beautiful and made me feel so much better - well as better as I could feel under the circumstances.

I hope you can find a way that will honor your little one and provide some comfort.
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#5 of 7 Old 03-18-2009, 01:52 PM
 
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We buried our baby under the rose bush that we planted over DD2's placenta. We are a military family, so we won't be here forever, but it just felt right.

-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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#6 of 7 Old 03-18-2009, 08:15 PM
 
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for both our losses we buried them under 2 different esperanza bushes. one is a yellow bell and one orange. i have a little buddha statue in between them as a sort of altar and memorial. our first loss was at just over 8 weeks but the baby didn't grow past 6. the second was at almost 12 weeks and the baby had made it to almost 11..

i'm so sorry for your loss...it's never easy...:

Cat - Mother to Jonathon (1-24-1987) ; Lola (3-24-2003) ; Xiola (9-27-2005) : 8 wks (4-2008) ; 11 1/2 weeks (9-2008); and 7.5 weeks (5-2010) Nana to William (3-27-2009) Blog: AmLo Farms
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#7 of 7 Old 03-18-2009, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you for sharing with me.
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