Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Everywhere... thanks, technology!
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Amanda, Wife to James and Mom to Bub (11/00), Gracie (5/02), Brystol (7/09), Elleigh (3/11) and Piper (10/11). Missing our angels: Bean (12/05@6w) Ainsley (10/06@10w) Zachary (4/07@22w) Sweet Pea (8/07@9w) Twin B (12/08@8w) and Lil Bit (8/10@8w).
i agree with most of the replies suggesting you find a way to phrase it that is as close to the truth as possible
i feel that lying about something like this might not actually be protecting you as much as you think it will?
my experience with lying about something you feel some shame (rightly or wrongly) about can only exaggerate the shame
because you are contributing to the feeling that it is something to hide
and then sometimes when we tell someone something we feel afraid to
it can be incredibly healing to let it out in to the light, unburden ourselves
and then even more healing when the other person doesn't judge you as you feared
because my guess is anyone worth their salt in your life will not judge you for making such an incredibly painful and real (and informed) decision
i totally relate to the feeling of wanting to cut people out
rather than face the music with them
but i regret the freidnhsips i've lost because i couldn't handle conflict so i just ran
i wish i had said what i feared and if THEY ran, then at least I gave it a shot
the friednships where i've risked more honesty are stronger becasue of it
so i wish you strength : and most of all healing :
In your case I am actually jealous of you because you had a good reason - I only had fear.
But in my head, I didn't have any of that. I feel like I was just outvoted and bullied (although that was more about the drs.).
I was absolutely distraught with wondering what to do and feeling completely torn at taking chances without feeling fully informed about the odds and the risks--but it wasn't exactly fear.
I'm just trying to move on now. As this happened, we had another crisis unfold that is just calming down now. So I really had the weekend to myself but Monday all hell broke loose and distracted (and drained) me more. I think I just need some "time off".