Awaiting natural labor... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 04-17-2009, 09:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have some questions that I'm not sure where to find the answers, or that anyone will want to:

I discovered Monday that my 22 week twins passed due to twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS). As of today, it's probably been close to 2 weeks since they died. The doc said he hasn't heard of natural labor occuring past 3 weeks. Any experience with this? Is there danger in waiting much longer?

Also, I plan on birthing at home with my midwife. Is there anything in particular that I need to brace myself for since it has been 2+ weeks since their death? I just don't want to be caught totally off guard.

Thank you so much.
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#2 of 20 Old 04-17-2009, 09:03 PM
 
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No advice, just

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#3 of 20 Old 04-17-2009, 09:46 PM
 
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So Sorry, and hugs to you mama! I was told that sometimes the body doesn't go into labor anytime soon. Your Pregnancy hormones take a long time getting back to zero, prolly like 6-8 weeks. Also after fetal deaf, the tissues start to soften and deterioate(sp). I was surprised that amniotic fluid turns purplelish after fetal death. There isn't any danger in waiting much longer, but the longer, the more the tissue breaks down. What did your midwife say?

Mom to 4, & a Baby Girl in Heaven 01/2009. Missing my New Angel 12/2009
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#4 of 20 Old 04-17-2009, 11:09 PM
 
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Oh mama, I'm so so sorry... I don't know anything about waiting... hope someone else can help. HUGS.

Autumn (1990) Blake (1993) Zoe (2001) Dmitrios (2002) and William (April 2009) born still @ 39 wks - my 4ever
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#5 of 20 Old 04-17-2009, 11:44 PM
 
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Oh hun, I am so sorry this has happened. I, as the others, am not sure what would happen, but like Tarra said, the tissues of the baby tend to get a little softer over time. I think the website of Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep has some pictures and stories of other mothers to whom this might have happened in the way you describe. They have a forum at www.nowisleep.com if you want to take a look. I understand completely about wanting to be prepared.

Once again, I am so very sorry mama. *HUGE hugs* to you, and enormous love going your way. XXXXXX

Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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#6 of 20 Old 04-18-2009, 01:12 AM
 
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I am so sorry. As others have mentioned the skin gets soft and sometimes it will fall off. My daughter's skin fell off after only being dead for 2 days.
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#7 of 20 Old 04-18-2009, 02:37 AM
 
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I'm so sorry.

My dd was not dead long in-utero (she was born a little less than 24 hours after her heart stopped) but she still had a tiny bit of skin sloughing on her legs. Like most of the PPs said the skin and tissues will be very, very fragile and most certainly tearing will occur. I don't know how much deterioration will have occurred after 2 weeks. I would recommend having some super-soft blankets to wrap your babies.

I know you are probably going crazy waiting and worrying about what is to come. Just know that no matter what your babies look like you will still love them. I think you can ask your midwife to prepare you a little bit if you are worried. I know with my daughter I waited until she was handed to me and the doctor told me specific areas to be careful (see above, the skin on her legs). I did not watch her being born; I was just so scared.

*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#8 of 20 Old 04-18-2009, 10:23 AM
 
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No advice. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss and I'll be praying for you as you go through your birth and grief.

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#9 of 20 Old 04-18-2009, 12:25 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry, mama. I actually researched into fetal maceration after I had Duncan. I wasn't told anything. Nobody prepared me for the changes in his physical appearance. I gave birth on Friday, I found out about his passing late Thursday morning. He likely passed away Tuesday or Wednesday. He had bullae (skin blisters) on his legs, arms, hands and in the inside of the corner of his eyes. His skin sloughed off very easily and he was gray/blue. He continued to show signs of deterioration after he was born. After a certain period of time there's rapid deterioration and eventually, mummification.

Aeona - married to super hot nerd Toby . . . mama to Grace (9) Evangeline (7) Duncan 11.14.08   and Henry (4) born at home. Expecting again early December!  

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#10 of 20 Old 04-18-2009, 03:50 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby at 18 weeks last week. One thing I was not prepared for was how quickly their skin dries up after birth. I had the chance to hold my son for most of the day but his fingers and toes fused after a few hours and his skin hardened and changed colors quickly. I think it would have been easier if I had been prepared for that happening before hand.
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#11 of 20 Old 04-18-2009, 06:24 PM
 
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The only info I know to provide is that it can take longer than 3 weeks. I went 5 1/2 from death to birth. I was in labor at only 12 1/2 weeks, but it seems reasonable that it could take just as long at a later gestation.

I'm so sorry though.
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#12 of 20 Old 04-19-2009, 09:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, mamas.
I know there are some things that you never want to see, or explain, but it is certainly helping me get into a better mindset about this.
I'm still waiting. If this goes on for more than a few more days, I'll ask my MW for some Pit. I had myself ready for waiting 3 weeks, but knowing it may take longer isn't something I can handle right now.
I'm of average height and build and my fundal height is 34 cm. People ask me regularly when I'm due and it's so hard to come up with an answer now.
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#13 of 20 Old 04-19-2009, 06:01 PM
 
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Rowan's skin was sloughing off after only 3 days... also, be warned that the connective tissues will soften after death, so your babies heads may appear an unusual shape.

: I'm so, so sorry, mama.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#14 of 20 Old 04-19-2009, 10:20 PM
 
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Oh my heart just breaks reading this. I'm so sorry.

momma to my girls (9) (7) (4) (3) (7m) &
my little ones held only in my heart 4/12-17/00~8/01-twins~11/04~3/05~11/08
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#15 of 20 Old 04-20-2009, 12:42 AM
 
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First I am so sorry for you loss. We found out last year at 20 weeks that my son was gone and had died some time before that appt. He wasn't born until almost 3 weeks later so it can happen after 3 weeks. My midwife just made sure that I was careful to watch my temperature and to call her if I started to get a fever as it could indicate infection but we had no issues.

I was worried too how he would look after all that time in my womb. I was warned like someone else mentioned his skin might look somewhat blistered. He didn't have any blistering though. His head did get a bit mishapen from birth since it was so soft.

I'll be thinking of you
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#16 of 20 Old 04-20-2009, 06:45 PM
 
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I don't know much about this - Gideon died jsut after he was born. But I wanted to offer you support. Know that we are here when you want to talk. I am so sorry for your loss.

Rachele Garrin ~ Missing Gideon and Butterball ~ Loving for our Jareth
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#17 of 20 Old 04-21-2009, 12:02 AM
 
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maybe it's taking longer for you since you have twins which would increase the amount of hormones in your system a bunch, so has to come down a LOT lower to trigger the birth?

huge huge hugs to you.

wife since 1992; mom to: J 7-95; H 5-98; C 2-03; S 4-05; Micah Zachary born still UC 4-08; UM 9-08; due June 2010
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#18 of 20 Old 04-21-2009, 01:49 AM
 
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I lost twins at 15 weeks but they had died at different times (one we think at 9 weeks and the other at 13 weeks)


I am glad i went to the natural route and miscarried at home I could see them. (I didn't know I was carrying twins).

Prayers for you,
Gwen
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#19 of 20 Old 04-21-2009, 09:57 AM
 
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I also wanted to send kudos to you for trying it naturally. I know it's hard waiting. but knowing that your body knows when it's time is crucial and very special too in that like the pp said, you can hold them, not be interfered with. you will NEVER forget this time in your life and it's better that strangers or hospital procedures/schedules are not a part of it.

trying to give you strength...

wife since 1992; mom to: J 7-95; H 5-98; C 2-03; S 4-05; Micah Zachary born still UC 4-08; UM 9-08; due June 2010
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#20 of 20 Old 04-21-2009, 02:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by APintheAF View Post
Thanks, mamas.
I know there are some things that you never want to see, or explain, but it is certainly helping me get into a better mindset about this.
I'm still waiting. If this goes on for more than a few more days, I'll ask my MW for some Pit. I had myself ready for waiting 3 weeks, but knowing it may take longer isn't something I can handle right now.
I'm of average height and build and my fundal height is 34 cm. People ask me regularly when I'm due and it's so hard to come up with an answer now.
I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. I know when you see your babies they will be beautiful to you
If you decide to induce labor please talk to your midwife about all the options – cervedil or Foley catheter induction may allow you to labour at home so you won't be forced into a hospital birth if you'd rather be at home.

Megan, loving her sweet rainbow1284.gif boys, born Aug. 2008 and Feb. 2011, and their sister, born still March 2007 candle.gif
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