I began reading through these forums at the request of a friend. My baby was born at 20wks and died only hours after we first held her in our arms. I've been hesitant to post because writing forces me to face that this is my reality. Tomorrow will mark one month since I kissed her hello and goodbye. I've read many of your stories and I take comfort in knowing I'm not alone. As difficult as it is, I feel the best thing for me to do now is surround myself with support from others that relate to my situation. Thank you all for sharing your stories and giving me the courage to share my own.
About my loss...
I'm a mother to a handsome 4 year old boy. I was younger than most when I became a mother but it changed my life in a million wonderful ways and I could not wait to experience it again. Unfortunately, the person who I first chose to share that experience with wasn't so wonderful. This is where the shame hits...I made the decision to leave and I'm still currently going through a divorce. During the long and drawn out process that is my divorce I met the man of my dreams. Sooner than we anticipated, my dream of being a mom again came true. This may seem like a bad idea to most (ask my family and they'll tell you) however he and I both knew that this was right for us. This was God's plan and it would be the start to an amazing new life together with my son and our new little family. Things started off so well and slowly took a turn for the worse. I started experiencing problems only a month in to my pregnancy. I was shocked as I had such a healthy pregnancy the first time around. As the weeks went on it only got worse. I held out so much hope despite what the doctors told me. I thought I'd make it for sure and that I was strong enough to endure anything. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I gave birth to my little Lily a month ago tomorrow. I struggle daily with this and try my best to focus on my son and keeping her little memory alive. It's amazing how some people don't give my story half as much respect or sympathy since she was only 20wks. That's why I've turned here. I need to know that I'm not alone. I hope that posting in these forums and sharing my story while hearing all of yours as well will continue to get me through this.
Here's to all of our precious babies. May we always remember them and carry them in our hearts forever.
About my loss...
I'm a mother to a handsome 4 year old boy. I was younger than most when I became a mother but it changed my life in a million wonderful ways and I could not wait to experience it again. Unfortunately, the person who I first chose to share that experience with wasn't so wonderful. This is where the shame hits...I made the decision to leave and I'm still currently going through a divorce. During the long and drawn out process that is my divorce I met the man of my dreams. Sooner than we anticipated, my dream of being a mom again came true. This may seem like a bad idea to most (ask my family and they'll tell you) however he and I both knew that this was right for us. This was God's plan and it would be the start to an amazing new life together with my son and our new little family. Things started off so well and slowly took a turn for the worse. I started experiencing problems only a month in to my pregnancy. I was shocked as I had such a healthy pregnancy the first time around. As the weeks went on it only got worse. I held out so much hope despite what the doctors told me. I thought I'd make it for sure and that I was strong enough to endure anything. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I gave birth to my little Lily a month ago tomorrow. I struggle daily with this and try my best to focus on my son and keeping her little memory alive. It's amazing how some people don't give my story half as much respect or sympathy since she was only 20wks. That's why I've turned here. I need to know that I'm not alone. I hope that posting in these forums and sharing my story while hearing all of yours as well will continue to get me through this.
Here's to all of our precious babies. May we always remember them and carry them in our hearts forever.