Honoring my first baby, which should I pick? Need some input please - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 04-24-2009, 04:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi mamas. I need some advice. I lost my first baby at 10 weeks gestation. I quickly became pregnant again and since had two births and I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with triplets (naturally). I have begun thinking more and more about my first baby I lost. Everyone is showering me with stuff for the trips but I want to remember my first baby. I never really took the time to mourn and heal. I would like to have a keepsake so I found this very simple birthstone pendant. My question is this: Should I get the stone in the month the baby was lost (March) or when the baby would have been due (Oct.) ? What have you done? I am really torn on this one and not sure. I am sure there is no wrong or right way, I am just curious. Here is a picture of the pendant.

http://www.nelleandlizzy.com/index.p...id=21&parent=4
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#2 of 8 Old 04-24-2009, 05:06 PM
 
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I am sorry for your loss. I lost Marissa (stillborn) the same month she was due so it is hard for me to give my input, but I would pick the month that is more meaningful to you.

I am sending lots of healthy prayers your way for your current pregnancy!

Girlygirl-mommy to my angel Marissa born into God's hands (April 4, 2009) at 38 weeks. Wife to DH for two wonderful years. Expecting a baby on April 9, 2010.
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#3 of 8 Old 04-24-2009, 07:34 PM
 
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I agree with girlygirl, I'd go with whichever you connect with more.

I think for me, because my lost was so early, I would be more inclined to go with the month I had the loss - but I don't think either way is right or wrong.

Mum to Quinn, Aug 14th 2010
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#4 of 8 Old 04-24-2009, 07:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am thinking of going with October. My first daughter was born in March so originally I was thinking March, but then my second daughter was conceived in October and October has always been my favorite month of the year and it is a circle of life type of thing, one life was supposed to have been born and still yet another was created that month? Does that make any sense? I am still teetering on it. I think having the memorial around my neck as a reminder will help a lot. Anyone else do something like this? My friends, none of whom who have had miscarriages, think it is a little strange.
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#5 of 8 Old 04-24-2009, 08:35 PM
 
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to be honest, i would go with the month that the baby was conceived. there is no right or wrong answer, but for me...oct (due date) never came to be. and june (when we lost her) was sooo painful. so i would go with january for the month that we created our little girl. hope that helps? sorry for your loss

Jessicaintactlact.gif, wife to Derricklurk.gif, missing Joslyn angel3.gif, 22 weeks 06.18.08, rainbow1284.gifBaby Kai Ambrose 05.10.10 and Isla Blythe born on Thanksgiving '12 uc.jpg

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#6 of 8 Old 04-24-2009, 08:44 PM
 
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I have a remembrance necklace and the stone is from the month I found out my son was gone which was the last day of February. He was not born until March though. It was a gift from my sil and she picked the February stone as the year prior in February I had lost another son then found out about losing Dallin the following February and the necklace was to remember them both. I love the necklace though not so much because of the stone choice but what it represents. Like you said though there is no right or wrong.
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#7 of 8 Old 04-25-2009, 07:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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jess_paez: I agree! I didn't even consider this option so I ordered the pendent with Oct (my due date month) but I emailed the company and they said no problem they can change it. So I picked January because that is her conception month and it is also my birthstone so that is special to the two of us. Thanks for the input ladies I appreciate it. It is so nice here! Thanks again!
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#8 of 8 Old 04-25-2009, 09:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by farmers_wife View Post
jess_paez: I agree! I didn't even consider this option so I ordered the pendent with Oct (my due date month) but I emailed the company and they said no problem they can change it. So I picked January because that is her conception month and it is also my birthstone so that is special to the two of us. Thanks for the input ladies I appreciate it. It is so nice here! Thanks again!
i'm glad you liked my suggestion. i looked at that website and i really like that jewelery. very classy, i will favorite it for when i want to get one as well. sorry for your loss mama. a huge congratulations for the 3 arriving soon and your other sweet babies.

Jessicaintactlact.gif, wife to Derricklurk.gif, missing Joslyn angel3.gif, 22 weeks 06.18.08, rainbow1284.gifBaby Kai Ambrose 05.10.10 and Isla Blythe born on Thanksgiving '12 uc.jpg

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