I had a m/c at 7 weeks last Wednesday. A little background: I am 42, with 1 healthy 6 yo dd. No health concerns at all, other than anxiety. According to my doctor, who I saw right after the m/c, I am fit and healthy and should have no problem with pregnancy. MIL knows this.
So the day after it happened, we are staying with MIL; because I am scheduled to fly to Toronto the next morning. She asked me how my doctor visit went and we had the following exchange:
How was your doctor visit today?
Good. Doc said everything looked normal. She said we should wait 3 months, though.
Wait? For what?
To start trying again.
You're not going to do that, are you?
Yes, that's the plan.
You don't want to do that. This was your warning from Mother Nature not to try again. You're getting older, you know.
The doc said it was fine. She says I'm fit and healthy and doesn't think the m/c had anything to do with my age (give facts here).
Then why did you have a m/c? You need to look at the reasons behind it.
It happens to lots of people. Repeat above reassurance from doctor.
What if you don't miscarry next time?
Pardon?
What if you don't miscarry next time and you end up having a defective baby?
Please tell me this is not normal/okay to tell someone the day after they miscarry? I tried to see if I could let it go, but I can't. Now I am back from Toronto and it still makes me angry. I don't want to see her. Generally, we are very involved in their lives and they are wonderful grandparents to dd. MIL's b/day is tomorrow and we are invited out there for dinner. I just don't want to see her. Everyone else was so supportive and this just HURTS. Can you help me see a way forward?
So the day after it happened, we are staying with MIL; because I am scheduled to fly to Toronto the next morning. She asked me how my doctor visit went and we had the following exchange:
How was your doctor visit today?
Good. Doc said everything looked normal. She said we should wait 3 months, though.
Wait? For what?
To start trying again.
You're not going to do that, are you?
Yes, that's the plan.
You don't want to do that. This was your warning from Mother Nature not to try again. You're getting older, you know.
The doc said it was fine. She says I'm fit and healthy and doesn't think the m/c had anything to do with my age (give facts here).
Then why did you have a m/c? You need to look at the reasons behind it.
It happens to lots of people. Repeat above reassurance from doctor.
What if you don't miscarry next time?
Pardon?
What if you don't miscarry next time and you end up having a defective baby?
Please tell me this is not normal/okay to tell someone the day after they miscarry? I tried to see if I could let it go, but I can't. Now I am back from Toronto and it still makes me angry. I don't want to see her. Generally, we are very involved in their lives and they are wonderful grandparents to dd. MIL's b/day is tomorrow and we are invited out there for dinner. I just don't want to see her. Everyone else was so supportive and this just HURTS. Can you help me see a way forward?