Honoring our babies - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 342 Old 01-06-2005, 10:03 PM
 
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Ladylee I'm so sorry to hear of your loss ((HUGS)) You and your family are in my thoughts.
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#62 of 342 Old 01-21-2005, 07:59 PM
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What a nice idea. Took me awhile to get over here.

We lost our second babe very early...I was only 4-5 weeks along...very much planned just as our first daughter who is now 5 was. She was easy conception and easy pregnancy, hard delivery but wonderful.
Babe #2 was again easy conception after a week of trying during O time (charting and all) and had pregnancy symptoms soon after...they sadly got extremely painful one day into it before I'd taken a proper home pregnancy test....I wa sin pain body wise, aches etc..........but figured just my body reacting. Well, too a pg test and it was faint line....we were early so that was normal to see..........but the symptoms suddenly gone wthing a few days. Nothing. Went to doc for blood test, no baby. Days after that I got my period very very fast, painful as heck and blood like I never imagined. All one morning which for me was beyond unusual. Suffice to say we lost that babe. That was in Nov 2002..we named him (we assume boy due to charting, temps, O and all that conception stuff) Boo because of Halloween conception...we lost him Nov 11.
We soon started for #3 but endured over 9 months of unexplained infertility...until we finally conceived Angelina near the date of Boo's would-be birthdate, and she is a dream!
I must say mothering after a loss is so much different. I fear so much, I parent so carefully with so much intensity and fear...........I worry alot more.
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#63 of 342 Old 01-21-2005, 08:47 PM
 
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Thank you for sharing your stories and pictures of your beautiful babies. My heart and prayers are with you all.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#64 of 342 Old 01-22-2005, 03:25 AM
 
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Great thread!!!

Joshua Jr - December 2, 2004 Born and Died the same day. Died 37 minutes later. Our first precious gift of life.
We love you always and forever. Always in our hearts!

Thank you for the thread it was a good Ideal.
Meeky
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#65 of 342 Old 02-01-2005, 12:11 PM
 
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My baby Jacob Nathaniel was born after a very difficult pregnancy on 2/17/03 at 34 weeks and lived for about six hours. He died 2/18/03 from complications due to Prune Belly Syndrome. He weighed 5lbs and 10oz and was 17inches long.

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/jacobnathanielb/
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#66 of 342 Old 02-03-2005, 07:40 PM
 
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Liam Osias Andrews was born on January 1, 2005.

He was born at 41 weeks. I had been seeing a midwife, and took very good care of myself, eating right, exercising, getting plenty of rest. My 4 older children were very excited about our "Christmas baby" due 12/26. Especially my oldest, who had prayed before I was even PG that "God would give you another baby in your tummy." And who said "I don't care if this baby is a boy or a girl, I just can't wait to get to hold the baby!"

Labor went great, even right up until my body started pushing. Then my water broke and his foot came out. He had turned to footling breech sometime after 12/30, because we know he was head down then. His arms were over his head and he got stuck. I was rushed to the emergency room by ambulance. I experienced the most horrific pain I had ever endured, but they got him out. He was not breathing and had no heartbeat. they got his heart going and life-flighted him to the best children's hospital, but he had been without oxygen too long and his brain was too badly damaged to sustain breathing on his own. We decided to take him off the respirator when it became clear he had no chance of improving. We knew it was what had to be done, but it still felt a little like we were killing him. Looking at his perfect, beautiful body I felt like "He was so perfect, and I broke him." I know that's not true, but that's the kind of thing that pops into your mind.

We dressed him in a soft sleeper and cloth diaper I had made for him, wrapped him in a blanket made by my mom, and held him for a few precious moments. The nurses were very kind. They cried too when the doctor came in to check his heartbeat and made the official pronouncement. They took pictures and footprints and made us a special "memory box" with the socks he had worn, and his little ID bracelet, and a bit of his hair.

Today is 30 days since Liam died. It is almost harder today than just a week ago. Things have a way of going in waves. It's confusing. Anyways, I don't know how much I'll be on here, but thanks for listening.
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#67 of 342 Old 02-04-2005, 04:14 AM
 
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First I want to say how sorry I am for all of your losses. Reading your posts brought back memories of my own little ones, gone from my womb, but not gone from my heart.

I had my first m/c May 2002 We named him Jon. I got pregnant a little over a year later, and in June 2003 I had another m/c. We named her Serenity Joy.
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#68 of 342 Old 02-08-2005, 10:36 AM
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I just re read this thread again. You all are so in my thoughts and prayers. It is so wonderful yet incredibly sad and heart wrentching to be a part of such an amazing strong group. My heart aches for you all just as it does for my baby Boo lost nearly 3 years ago.

It occurred to me a few nights ago, while nursing my baby Angelina, quietly in her room in the dark, rocking on the rocker..........that my Boo would be 19 months old had he lived. It still amazes me, saddens me, breaks my heart and leaves me feeling empty...........and what comes across to me in everyone's threads for those who lost a baby early like me, how we just know the gender. Truly to me that is telling of the spiritual connection we all have to our babies.

God Bless. :
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#69 of 342 Old 02-08-2005, 06:01 PM
 
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My third baby, Ronan Diego was born still on January 21st, 2005. He was full term and 12 days past his due date. I know he was alive right up until he began his descent through the birth canal, because when the umbilical cord started choking him, he kicked me really hard. He was such a big baby (8 lbs. 12oz.) compared to my other 2 7lb. babies and his head was absolutely huge! I thought I would never be able to push it out. He was crowning for almost 20 minutes and when I was finally able to get him out, he came out limp and purple and would not get his breath. We tried everything, but he was already gone. Another 25-30 minutes later they resucitated him at the hospital (he was born @ home), but his spirit was already gone. He had been deprived of oxygen for at least 45 minutes by then. He had no brain activity and although they had his heart working and had him breathing through the ventilator, he just wasn't there. I was grateful to get to hold him while he was still warm and soft since I didn't get to see him until about 10 hours after the birth due to my own complications and him being transferred to the children's hospital while I was in the other hospital. It was not a hard decision to take him off the life support. I just wanted that beautiful, perfect little body to be at peace. Enough with all the tubes and needles, etc. I got to hold him to my bare skin after they took out all the tubes and needles. I undressed him and cradled him in my arms. In a few minutes he stopped breathing that fake little hiccup breath the ventilator had taught his lungs and he laid peacefully near my heart, finally at rest.
I just want to say to all the other mommas out there that have endured this kind of loss, we are so special!!! How honored we are that these babies chose us to come through, to teach us lessons about love, compassion and strength. We have all survived and we have become stronger and wiser through our experiences. I find myself feeling so grateful for the time I spent with my baby and the lessons his departure has brought to me that I can almost smile sometimes, even through my tears.
I remember the last few weeks of my pregnancy when everyone kept saying, "He just doesn't want to come out of there, does he?" Now I know that he never intended to come out. His life was a life in the womb, being held closely in the warm, cozy darkness. I know he knew us all; he heard our voices and felt our love every day of his life.
We all miss him and love him. His presence has changed us all forever and made us look at ourselves and our relationships in a different way; helped us to appreciate how beautiful and fragile life really is.
What a blessing it is to give birth to an angel!

Ronan Diego Mulvaney-Delgado 1/21/05 7:20am
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#70 of 342 Old 02-09-2005, 06:29 PM
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Jen

: to you hon. I am crying reading your post. How precious your son. God Bless.
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#71 of 342 Old 03-10-2005, 12:33 PM
 
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Is it March already? March is a weird month here. We celebrated my daughters 11th birthday on the 3rd. Four days later on the 7th it would have been my son Eric's 12th birthday. The 9th was the 12 year anniversary of his death because of heart defects. It's been so long, but I still get sad around this time.
My thoughts are with everyone who has gone through this.
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#72 of 342 Old 03-10-2005, 01:37 PM
 
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November 21, 2004

March 6, 2005

Always loved and living in our hearts.
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#73 of 342 Old 03-20-2005, 10:45 AM
 
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Today was my due date.

Two weeks ago was my son's birthday, next week is my other son's birthday. March was a good month for us.

We lost this baby at about 10 weeks. There was no reason to believe there was any problem...no history...no risk factors...no symptoms of trouble. We were thrilled that I was pregnant as we'd been trying for 2 1/2 years. I was 41 at the time, and so very much wanted just one more baby. My kids were so excited.

We named her "Emma" and I saw her in a dream during the m/c. She's buried in the garden amoung the flowers.

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

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#74 of 342 Old 03-29-2005, 12:04 AM
 
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Our first baby is dancing with Jesus...miscarried at seven weeks, August '02.
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#75 of 342 Old 03-31-2005, 04:53 AM
 
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Our first precious child... left us December 1, 2002 - 6 weeks.

Joey, so wanted, so desperately wanted... left us December 12, 2004 - 8 weeks.

we'll keep on going, and we're loving your sister (born November 7, 2003), but not a day passes that we don't remember and wish you'd been able to stay. Love always, Mum & Dad
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#76 of 342 Old 04-23-2005, 04:21 PM
 
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My sweet little boy was born November 25 2003. We had no idea anything was wrong with him until he was 2 days old. He was diagnosed with HLHS and aortic stenosis. (We were later told HLHS is probably the worst diagnosis your child can have Basically his whole left side of his heart did not function). What a shock that was! So, when Ryan was exactly one week old he had his first heart cath, had another at 2 weeks old, and finally heart surgery at exactly 3 weeks old. He died about 12 hours after heart surgery in the early morning early hours of December 16 2003. I'll never in my life forget the knock on the door. We had just gone to a "quiet room" at the hospital to try to sleep, and I had literally just taken my shoes off, when they knocked and said they were doing CPR on him. They worked on him for an hour before they finally called it off. I have *many* complaints with his ped cardiologist, but I will never ever forget how his surgeon sat in the waiting room and cried with us. Even the surgeon thought he would make it. I'll never forget the ride home to get Emmie, wondering how in the world I was going to tell her Ryan was gone.

So this is in memory of my precious son Ryan. 11/25/03-12/16/03 I miss my little boy.
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#77 of 342 Old 05-02-2005, 01:52 PM
 
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Yesterday, 5/1 our first, 5 weeks.
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#78 of 342 Old 05-06-2005, 12:24 AM
 
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I have read all of these tributes and even though I have lost a child too I don`t know what to say except I am so sorry.

Tomorrow would be my son Alistair`s 3rd birthday. Its absolutely heartbreaking that he`s not here. In some ways its easier this year than ever before in my new life as a bereaved mom, yet this year it seems like none of my friends remember, oh well. I don`t feel the urge to tell every single new friend I meet about him anymore, yet I feel his presence more & more.

Alistair suffered a severe birth injury due to shoulder dystocia during a hb, planned waterbirth. He was without oxygen for 24 minutes and everything was done properly by everyone. He had a heartbeat and was resuscitated at the hospital, where he then surprised everyone and breathed on his own. Unfortunately, he had a diagnosis called hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy and he stayed in a coma. We tried hard to keep him comfortable and give him a chance. I would take him in any condition. He got worse and worse and we just held him, free of technology, and he died in our arms.

Thanks for reading this, its been 3 long years and we miss him so much. Alistair has a new brother now who is almost 2 and a 5 year old brother who tells everyone he has 2 brothers, one here that "fell to earth" and "one who died and lives in heaven."

Married Catholic mami : to 5 boys, : 9 6 3 : 5 mo. 5/6/02-6/22/02 (HIE)
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#79 of 342 Old 05-27-2005, 12:09 AM
 
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We lost our daughter Bella on 3/4/05. We lost her at 41 weeks due to a heart defect we had no idea she had. We went to the hospital for our scheduled induction only to find that her heart had stopped beating. I'm still getting used to this rollercoaster mainly because she was our first child, and I don't know what it is like to mother a child even though I am a mother. My brain tricks me by making it seem like none of this ever happened, because my non pregnant life has resumed. But then all it takes is the sight of an infant, or the nursery upstairs in our home to make it awful again. I miss you terribly Bella, and I pray that your little soul is at peace
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#80 of 342 Old 05-27-2005, 12:22 AM
 
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starbaby, gentle hugs to you. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I wish so much no other mother had to know this pain, of losing a deeply loved, desperately wanted baby. No words can make it better, nothing can take the hurt away, but I know it can help to talk with others who are grieving their babies. It can make you feel less alone to hear others going through the same thoughts and heartaches. I hope we can be here for you, and listen to you, and just support you when you need someone to talk to.
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#81 of 342 Old 05-27-2005, 12:33 AM
 
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to all you mamas

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#82 of 342 Old 05-27-2005, 05:39 PM
 
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Thank you Kittykat
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#83 of 342 Old 05-28-2005, 12:54 AM
 
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Gone............Kale Blair............SIDS............December 6, 2004

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/k/kaleblair/
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#84 of 342 Old 06-02-2005, 01:36 AM
 
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KEMommy, thank you for allowing the honor of seeing pictures of your beautiful, happy baby boy, Kale Blair. Just looking at his smile made my heart glad. What an angel.
I said a little prayer for him tonight.
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#85 of 342 Old 06-06-2005, 04:17 AM
 
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avery elizabeth
stillborn on 6/3/05 at 26 weeks and 4 days due to cord accident
she had dark hair, her daddy's perfect mouth and square shoulders and her mommy's eyes and big feet.
we miss our little girl.
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#86 of 342 Old 06-06-2005, 12:37 PM
 
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amygrrrl,
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#87 of 342 Old 06-06-2005, 02:10 PM
 
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amygrrl, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, please be welcome to grieve and share with us. Blessings to you and your family.
Love, Brandi

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

love and light

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#88 of 342 Old 06-08-2005, 11:18 PM
 
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I am so sorry for all your losses, I cried all the way through this thread.
On 6/3 at first ob visit (9w) we learned development had stopped at about 7 weeks, when I called to clarify more on Monday learned they were twins. Lost them at home with dh by my side Tuesday evening, June 7th.

mama to my August boys ('03 & '06)
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#89 of 342 Old 06-10-2005, 11:46 PM
 
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I lost my first child on November 19, 2003. Cause of death was meconium asparation, E. Coli, puemonia, and hospital nelgect.

Her website is in my signature.

It's been almost 2 years, there's not a day that goes by, that I don't think about her. I miss her so much, she was and always will be my Sweet Pea.
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#90 of 342 Old 06-11-2005, 12:44 AM
 
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Kelly, just wanted to let you know I looked at Alyssa's website, and she is beautiful. It is almost impossible to believe she was so sick, and I am so sorry for your loss. Good work on "A Mother's Grief"!

mama to my August boys ('03 & '06)
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