Going through my 6th early loss, did I cause it by checking my cervix too much? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 9 Old 07-21-2011, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
3boobykins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 2,404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am going through my sixth early m/c.  After 5 within about a year, we decided to stop trying.  This pg. was not planned.  I had strong positives through 17 dpo, at which point I stopped testing.  I had symptoms--frequent peeing, a little nausea, food aversions.  Last night, at 5w1day, which is the longest I've gone (other early losses were at 4w2d or less), I started spotting red blood, and this morning I'm fully bleeding and cramping.  I took an HPT, and the line was very light.  

 

I am 40, and I know early losses due to chromosomal issues are very common. I feel like I could live with this and move on, and be happy loving my 3 wonderful kids, but I am tormenting myself with the thought that my very frequent cervical checks caused some kind of irritation or infection that resulted in this m/c.  I can't find anything online to substantiate this, but not knowing is just killing me inside.  I checked my inside my vagina, and sometimes my cervix, many times a due to anxiety about loss.  I used clean toilet paper or flushable wipes or baby wipes, and gently touched them to the tip of my cervix.  I might have done this up to 10 times a day, just to reassure myself, but here I am thinking that that very act killed my baby.  And I feel like I'll never know the truth, and that just kills me, because what if I did cause it?

 

We won't be trying again, because in many ways having another baby is not the best idea for our family.  Part of me kind of 'knows" that this just wasn't meant to be, and maybe I had to go through this one last loss to convince myself that I need to let go, once and for all. Even if dh was willing to try again, which he isn't, I wouldn't go through with it because I just can't go through this anymore.  

 

Could I have caused my m/c?

 

 

 


Heather, Mama to DS(10) DD(7.5),DD(6)
3boobykins is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 9 Old 07-21-2011, 12:38 PM
 
loveandlight33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 285
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I honestly don't know whether too many cervical checks can cause a loss. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

mama to ds 6, dd 4, & ds 2
loveandlight33 is offline  
#3 of 9 Old 07-21-2011, 01:32 PM
 
Xerxella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 2,095
Mentioned: 196 Post(s)
Tagged: 2 Thread(s)
Quoted: 53 Post(s)

No, mamma.  If intercourse won't cause a miscarriage (and it doesn't) than a gentle cervical check won't either. 

 

I'm sorry, but the truth is at 40 your chances to conceive a child with chromosonal damages is huge.  And, most of these pregnancies end in an early miscarriage like yours.  You did nothing wrong.  You gave a baby a chance at a life and unfortunately, it just wasn't meant to be. 

 

Hugs momma.  I hope you find peace. 


Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com
Xerxella is online now  
#4 of 9 Old 07-21-2011, 01:56 PM
 
bamamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 4,005
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am so sorry.  With that many early losses have you considered progesterone therapy? it might give you a fighting chance.

 

I don't think touching your cervix can cause a loss  :hug:

bamamom is offline  
#5 of 9 Old 07-21-2011, 01:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
3boobykins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 2,404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thank you.  I've had a good talk with dh, and I realized that there's no reason to harbor these harmful thoughts.  We're moving forward, embracing our life as it is, which is truly very rich and full.  We have 3 awesome kids, a successful business, good friends, loving family, and a bright future.  I'm grateful that my body has the wisdom to end a pregnancy that isn't healthy.  Could I carry a child to term at 40?  Maybe, but I'm not willing to go through the heartache, nor through any medical intervention.  Life is good, here and now, just as it is.

 

bamamom, I've done a lot of research into progesterone, and I really do believe that low progesterone is the result of a non-viable pregnancy, and not the cause.  There does not seem to be any substantial evidence that it works, unless the pregnancy was going to stick anyway.  I believe, based on my reading, that a healthy conception will result in enough progesterone to sustain it.  I do appreciate that suggestion, though.  Maybe it works sometimes, who knows, but I just don't have the heart to do this anymore.  If I didn't have kids already, I would probably try it, amongst other things.  

 

Sending love and healing and baby dust to you all!  


Heather, Mama to DS(10) DD(7.5),DD(6)
3boobykins is offline  
#6 of 9 Old 07-21-2011, 04:50 PM
 
MountainMamaGC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,012
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)

No more than having sex can cause a loss, which it doesnt, so be gentle on yourself. I just had my 5th early loss, and I went through a mental checklist of what I may have done wrong as well. I almost blamed myself because I went for a hike, but really a hike in the woods should not cause a miscarriage. I havent made it past 5 weeks since I was pregnant with my daughter.

 

Hugs mama!


Me(33), Mama to a crazy DD (6), Wife to a wonderful mountain man(32) BF my babe for 2 years.
MountainMamaGC is offline  
#7 of 9 Old 07-21-2011, 08:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
3boobykins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 2,404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lydiah View Post

No more than having sex can cause a loss, which it doesnt, so be gentle on yourself. I just had my 5th early loss, and I went through a mental checklist of what I may have done wrong as well. I almost blamed myself because I went for a hike, but really a hike in the woods should not cause a miscarriage. I havent made it past 5 weeks since I was pregnant with my daughter.

 

Hugs mama!


I remember you from the TTC forum, Lydiah, and I'm so sorry for all of your losses.  I've read that sometimes it's just about "bad luck."  At my age, and my dh's, aging eggs/issues with sperm health seem to be the most common reasons for early loss.  You're quite young still, so it must be so disheartening and frustrating to have so many early losses.  I so hope you have a sticky baby next time!  Hugs to you too, mama! 

 


Heather, Mama to DS(10) DD(7.5),DD(6)
3boobykins is offline  
#8 of 9 Old 07-22-2011, 10:05 AM
 
MountainMamaGC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,012
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3boobykins View Post




I remember you from the TTC forum, Lydiah, and I'm so sorry for all of your losses.  I've read that sometimes it's just about "bad luck."  At my age, and my dh's, aging eggs/issues with sperm health seem to be the most common reasons for early loss.  You're quite young still, so it must be so disheartening and frustrating to have so many early losses.  I so hope you have a sticky baby next time!  Hugs to you too, mama! 

 


I wonder if thats what it really is. I am young but my body has been through so much. I wonder with all the sickness, and weight loss, and surgeries from my crohns over ther years, if my eggs my be in a little rough shape. This has definitely crossed my mind.

 


Me(33), Mama to a crazy DD (6), Wife to a wonderful mountain man(32) BF my babe for 2 years.
MountainMamaGC is offline  
#9 of 9 Old 07-22-2011, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
3boobykins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 2,404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

It sounds like your body has had a really rough time, Lydiah. hug.gif 


Heather, Mama to DS(10) DD(7.5),DD(6)
3boobykins is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off