The waiting is killing me! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 05-17-2002, 01:05 AM - Thread Starter
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I went to my Dr. on Monday, and I knew something had happened. I didn't feel pg at all. I'm currently 10 1/2 weeks, and no symptoms. My Dr. was great; he said let's check. And my instincts were right. No heartbeat, no development since 6 1/2 weeks. Dr. said he's sure I will miscarry. Even though in my heart, I knew something was wrong, I still feel like maybe there is hope. I have not bleed yet. I keep waiting and waiting, and nothing. I want something to happend so I know how to react. I can't grieve b/c I refuse to believe it until I see it. I feel numb. What if I don't bleed, will I have to have a D&C, or is there something the dr. could give me? I would like to try something natural first, but what if everything turns out okay. I don't know what to do! Has anyone had an experience like this?
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#2 of 4 Old 05-17-2002, 10:37 PM
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My midwife could not hear a heartbeat at 11 weeks, or at 12 1/2 weeks, but it seemed it could be because my uterus was tipped back, so she sent me to a doctor for an ultrasound and it was perfectly clear right away, that in fact, our baby was no longer alive. My husband and I talked about options with our midwife and the doctor; I wasn't sure if I wanted to wait for a spontaneous delivery or have surgery, the D and C. When I learned that it could take up to 12 weeks for the spontaneous "miscarriage", I knew I did not want that -- to wait and wonder for this painful delivery anytime, anywhere. Two days after we learned of our baby's death, I had the D and C. The hospital staff was wonderful to us, compassionate, expert. Our doctor told us we could request to have the baby's remains returned to us so that we can have a burial ceremony.

My heart goes out to you and I hope you can find out soon what is happening with your baby. This discussion board is very helpful.
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#3 of 4 Old 05-17-2002, 11:29 PM
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Zoe,my heart goes out to you.I was in a very similar situation with my first pregnancy.I was 101/2 weeks pregnant too and when they discovered my baby died, i had to wait another two weeks before i had a D&C. I was never given the option of having the baby's remains so we could have a funeral service.I think if we had been able to do that it would have helped with our healing,especially mine.
Talking with people who understand what you are going through can be a big help.
You are in my thoughts,take care
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#4 of 4 Old 05-18-2002, 10:51 PM
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Zoe, I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult situation. As I read your words, I can see how deeply you love and want this child.

You have a lot of decisions to make now. As out of controll as you feel right now, please know you do have choices. There are several threads in this forum on natural miscarriage that you may find helpfull.

Please remember, that it is your choice and your body. You can gain a lot of knowledge by reading, but in the end, you need to follow the path your heart leads you in.

Right now, it's important for you to take good care of yourself. Please make sure your eating healthy and getting pleanty of liquids. Even if your feeling somewhat helpless, you'll heal best if you take care of yourself.

Let us know how your doing and feel free to ask for information that can guide you.

You're gently in my thoughts.
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