How long would you wait for mc to happen naturally? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 20 Old 09-06-2011, 01:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How long would you wait for things to happen naturally? I've been reading it could take weeks. I don't want this to drag on for weeks, but I don't really want interventions either...... this sucks... what would/have you done and how long would/did you wait?


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#2 of 20 Old 09-06-2011, 06:40 PM
 
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I waited a day to take Cytotec at home, at ten weeks. I just couldn't bear it anymore. Compared to my spontaneous miscarriage, it was actually a lot easier. It seemed to get it over with in one shot as opposed to bleeding and bleeding and bleeding for forever.

 

Whatever you decide, it's okay. *hugs*

 

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#3 of 20 Old 09-06-2011, 06:55 PM
 
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I have waited up to four weeks and know someone who waited over 8wks. I'm really not concerned about the length of time on a physical level it's the emotional stuff that bothers me.


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#4 of 20 Old 09-06-2011, 07:25 PM
 
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A few years ago, I was in this situation with a non-viable pregnancy (basically a blighted ovum) and I decided to use the pill at home right away to take care of the evacuation, rather than waiting for it to occur naturally. For me, it was a decision based mostly on the emotional level - I knew at that point in my life that I couldn't cope with extended grieving and needed the closure. 



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#5 of 20 Old 09-06-2011, 07:41 PM
 
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Hi Tibris,

I was just thinking to post something here, too.  Sorry we should meet again here, but there you go.  I'm in a really weird spot, having conceived without seeing any fertile signs, and then symptoms disappeared and the tests were negative.  No spotting, bleeding.  I'm starting to have a little lower back pain, but I don't know if that's related or just cause I slept weird nursing twins.  I'm just living life, waiting to see if I'll pass...something?  Or is it possible to just reabsorb everything?  I never had a period since the twins were born 6 mo ago.  Emotionally I just feel very numb, I guess.  It was such a quick pregnant/not transition at an awkward time, but we'd embraced our new someone.  But it hardly seems real.  And we took advantage of pregnancy to have some morning play, when maybe we weren't actually still pregnant.  

 

I don't mean to hijack your thread, but I'm essentially wondering the same...how long should I wait?


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#6 of 20 Old 09-07-2011, 05:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks ladies, it's the emotional end that I'm stuck on. It's hard to get over it when you still have blood everytime you go to the bathroom, but not in amounts that mean anything other than "Oh hey! Don't forget about this!" It finally turned brown today, so I'm hoping it will stop soon.

 

Monkeys - I know, the mc I had two years ago was so quick, we hardly had time to accept we were having another, this time I had a week to get excited, start planning where the crib would go this time, digging out bags of baby clothes, etc. I finally got to talk to my OB's main nurse, who I've dealt with a lot and trust. She said no matter how much bleeding to consider that your cycle. She said a lot can be reabsorbed in an early mc, so it's not unusual for it to be light. I'm going to try to assume that my cycle has restarted (tho deep down I would be shocked if so little bleeding would be a cycle for me). I'm not sure about no bleeding, but anything is possible right? We DTD this morning, it helped to get DD3 out, so I'm hoping it will kick start things.


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#7 of 20 Old 09-07-2011, 08:22 AM
 
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I know exactly how you feel (as you know from my thread.) Today, the bleeding is a little more consistent for me, the cramps are gone at the moment, but that's how they've been for me. The emotional side of it sucks, as does the uncertainty and worrying that it won't be a complete m/c or that I will bleed too much etc. I'm alone for the day, with my daughter and just can't wait for the afternoon, when my kids sitter will get here so I have someone else around while my SO works.

 

I feel so needy with my SO right now, I'm normally a very independant person but I can't stop clinging to him when he's home. I hate that he has to work while I go through this, but someone has to.


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#8 of 20 Old 09-07-2011, 12:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel bad in that respect, I am not being very nice to DH. The morning after our trip to the ER he turned on Father of the Bride 2..... I got upset, but tried to be nice about it, I just told him it was very inconsiderate. The more we talked, I told him he's acting like this only affected him and not taking into consideration this is actually happening to me. He's cranky and short tempered with our girls tho he's trying to be more aware of keeping me happy now. I told him today that maybe we don't have any business having another one. That didn't set well with him either needless to say. We both want another, but our kids are feeding off of our negativity right now, which just sends everything into a spiral, them acting up, us getting frustrated and angry, doubting our parenting, and onward.

 

Bleeding has stopped. Cramps are still around. Honestly other than a few here and there, the cramps weren't even AF quality for me. The last few cycles I've been popping motrin like candy the day before and the first day of my cycle, the cramps have been that bad. There's no way that was it. I had my first OB appt scheduled in 3 weeks, I'm just going to leave it there. If I haven't cycled by then I'll know something is still there, that will have been 4 weeks since the bleeding started and I normally have a 24 day cycle. Now that the bleeding has stopped I'm going to try and just move on, hoping that was my cycle starting over.

 

Thanks for the support ladies :hugs: sorry you have been or are in the same boat


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#9 of 20 Old 09-07-2011, 01:24 PM
 
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Men just don't seem to know how to handle things like this very well. Don't feel bad about that, you're reacting to how he's reacting and that is normal. My kids have been feeding off of how I'm feeling too. Things will get better, it's all perfectly normal in something so hard to deal with, for everyone to handle it differently and for emotions to conflict etc.

 

Stay strong, your hubby will come around, none of this is your fault and you're not a bad mom, it will get better and your kids will be fine. Hugs to you.


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#10 of 20 Old 09-07-2011, 01:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you Shell! How did the lunch go?


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#11 of 20 Old 09-07-2011, 02:10 PM
 
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It went well, he is adjusting to the new school and class and did well. I only stayed until it was time to go out and play, as he has a supervisor on the playground. They are working out the details of having someone in the class over lunch but until then I will go in for that part.


Mom to ds (2005) and dd (2008) both with autism ribbonrainbow.gif and a proud advocate here! Also mom to ds (m/c @ 12 weeks, Sept 11/2011) angel2.gif, and an early m/c (6 weeks) in 2004. Also now missing my rainbow baby angel1.gif who was due April 2013, but lost Nov 16 2012 at exactly 18 weeks.  Probably not trying again.

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#12 of 20 Old 09-10-2011, 12:20 PM
 
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Any updates tibris? I have been thinking of you, hope you are doing ok.

 

I'm going to be taking the meds to get things going, tonight. Scared but as prepared as I'm going to get and for me, I would rather this route than a D&C.

 

Stay strong, you're in my thoughts. :)


Mom to ds (2005) and dd (2008) both with autism ribbonrainbow.gif and a proud advocate here! Also mom to ds (m/c @ 12 weeks, Sept 11/2011) angel2.gif, and an early m/c (6 weeks) in 2004. Also now missing my rainbow baby angel1.gif who was due April 2013, but lost Nov 16 2012 at exactly 18 weeks.  Probably not trying again.

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#13 of 20 Old 09-10-2011, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Shell! I've been thinking about you too. I hope everything goes smoothly for you tonight, keep us updated!

 

I've had no other bleeding. So I'm going with what my OB's nurse said, even tho it was no where near AF level, I'm considering things done. I've had some EWCM today, so it appears my body is gearing up to try again. Last time there was a LOT of blood, clots and pain even tho I was just as far along this time, I'm hoping that's it. I've got my fingers crossed that I was just lucky this time.


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#14 of 20 Old 09-10-2011, 02:42 PM
 
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I certainly will keep everyone posted :)

 

I'm happy to hear that things seem to be done with your m/c, as happy as one can be, I'm sure you know what I mean. I will be sending happy baby thoughts to you, maybe we will both get lucky in the same month and can be in the same DDC next time around :)
 

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Originally Posted by tibris View Post

Thanks Shell! I've been thinking about you too. I hope everything goes smoothly for you tonight, keep us updated!

 

I've had no other bleeding. So I'm going with what my OB's nurse said, even tho it was no where near AF level, I'm considering things done. I've had some EWCM today, so it appears my body is gearing up to try again. Last time there was a LOT of blood, clots and pain even tho I was just as far along this time, I'm hoping that's it. I've got my fingers crossed that I was just lucky this time.



 


Mom to ds (2005) and dd (2008) both with autism ribbonrainbow.gif and a proud advocate here! Also mom to ds (m/c @ 12 weeks, Sept 11/2011) angel2.gif, and an early m/c (6 weeks) in 2004. Also now missing my rainbow baby angel1.gif who was due April 2013, but lost Nov 16 2012 at exactly 18 weeks.  Probably not trying again.

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#15 of 20 Old 09-10-2011, 03:02 PM
 
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I hope that both of you ladies continue to heal and recover from this difficult situation! 



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#16 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 09:39 AM
 
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my doc said to wait up to six weeks.  he ordered me to get blood work every week in the meantime.  after i found out i was miscarrying, it was only about five to six days before i m/c naturally.  the physical stuff wasn't difficult, but it was tought emotionally.  i can understand why s/o would choose a d&c instead.  i think it might be easier emotionally.  at least you don't have to see the stuff coming out. 

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#17 of 20 Old 10-31-2011, 12:25 AM
 
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Hi ladies, 

 

I'm new here and had a similar question so I hope it's ok if I ask it in here since you seem like you'll all understand where I'm coming from. I also wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss, tibris, and hope that you're doing well. 

 

I tested positive about a week ago, had to try a few because it came as quite a shock and the results were pretty faint on the test. My doctor sent me for a blood test, first up my HCG was 11 then about a day and half later it was 16. However I've had no sign of miscarriage and rather than send me for another blood test like I'd hoped, my doctor has just asked me to wait for a couple of weeks and see what happens. To be honest this is driving me a little crazy. I understand that the HCG is low and probably fairly worrying for a viable pregnancy, but how long realistically will I be waiting for a miscarriage and will I definitely bleed or maybe not?

 

Thanks for any advice in advance!


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#18 of 20 Old 10-31-2011, 02:02 PM
 
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you got a positive on your home pregnancy test? Don't they read positive beginning at 25 or 50?

 

Are you still testing positive at home?


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#19 of 20 Old 10-31-2011, 03:53 PM
 
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How many dpo were you when you had the blood tests?  It's possible that those results could be normal, if you were very early on.  (Not to give you false hope... but possible)

I think it is more than reasonable to request another beta to give you some more definition.  If miscarriage is going to be determined by bloods, then it would usually be serial betas... a minimum of three.  Two doesn't tell the whole story, IMO. 

 

If it is a miscarriage, it can take up to six weeks (sometimes longer), but usually the earlier you are, the quicker it happens.  The miscarriages that drag out are usually those in the late first tri or early second.  You will definitely have a bleed, but a pretty early loss is usually just like a period. 

 

Best of luck


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#20 of 20 Old 10-31-2011, 10:01 PM
 
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Pregnova - Yeah, I did and I also thought that would've been too low to register. Who knows! I haven't done any home pregnancy tests though since the day after my first blood test and that read positive. 

 

Milk8Shake - Thanks so much for all your info. I don't chart but I'm guessing I was around 21 and 23 dpo for the blood tests. I've just been to the doctor to talk about my iron levels that showed up as really low on that initial test, and she really wants me to wait and do a scan at the end of next week and go from there. I guess I just have to wait it out. 


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