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#1 of 13 Old 09-23-2011, 10:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not sure that I'm ready to share my entire story.  But, we went in for our 20 week ultrasound on Monday to discover that our baby had no heartbeat.  I delivered her the next morning.  She weighed 4oz, was 7" long, and looked absolutely perfect.  My heart is aching for her, I prayed so hard for a little girl, and now she's gone. 

 

I'm very spiritual, and that's honestly the only thing that's holding me together right now. 

 

Does anyone have books or resources that have helped you through the grieving process?  I just feel sort of crazy right now, one minute happy spending time with my kids, and the next in a heap of tears because I saw a little girl's outfit at Target.


Steph, wife to C, mama to O :, E , and I :.
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#2 of 13 Old 09-23-2011, 02:13 PM
 
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I just wanted to say I am so sorry your little girl died. I hope you have people taking care of you and you can take some time to rest and mourn.


DS: 18 DD: 15 DD: 8  angel1.gif 11/10  angel1.gif 4/11
  adoptionheart-1.gifDD: 3  angel1.gif 8/11

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#3 of 13 Old 09-23-2011, 03:33 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. 

 

The best Christian/Spiritual book I ever read on grief is a little book called, "If God is Good, Why do I Hurt so Bad?" It's written by a man named David Biebel. Amazon does carry it. I keep multiple copies on hand to pass on to people who are grieving because it's so helpful. This man lost a child (not at birth) so he understands and he writes in such a way that you will feel like he's sitting in the room with you holding your hand. It's helped me through lots of grief in my life.

 

Another book which has helped me is Lord, Heal My Hurts, by Kay Arthur. This is more of a study book, so probably better for a few months down the road. The Biebel book is better for the early and acute stages of grief.

 

Again, I'm so sorry. 

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#4 of 13 Old 09-23-2011, 04:20 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. (((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))


Krista; blessed mother to four earthly beings and three non-physical. Basking in my beautiful rainbow. 
 
 

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#5 of 13 Old 09-23-2011, 04:50 PM
 
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So sorry for your loss.  I just want to let you know that it's perfectly normal to feel a little crazy right now. 


          Me & him
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#6 of 13 Old 09-23-2011, 05:59 PM
 
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Oh no, I am so sorry that you lost your daughter. I know all too well how you feel right now and you are in my thoughts. My son passed away at 18 weeks and I also delivered him. It's been nearly 7 weeks and I do feel better than I did at first but it's taken some time.

 

Be gentle to yourself, allow yourself to cry as much as you need to. Can you get help with you other kid(s)? I'd see if your doctor or hospital can refer you to a local support group. Also, the Faces of Loss site helped me (reading the stories).

 

Big, big hugs.

 


Mama to AJS - 22, CRS -17 and forever in my heart GHAB 8/5/11/(18 weeks) angel2.gif

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#7 of 13 Old 09-23-2011, 08:36 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.  hug2.gif

 

No one should have to go through what you are going through.


*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#8 of 13 Old 11-07-2011, 09:38 PM
 
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I am so sorry you lost your daughter. I can only offer support. I, too, am spiritual and I have had a hard time dealing with my recent miscarriage. You are not alone, I have found this What Was Lost: A Christian Journey Through Miscarriage on Amazon and ordered it. I dont know if by "spiritual" you mean religious or not, nor it is my place to ask, but maybe you can look into this book and see if the few pages they let you glimpse at will apply to you or be helpfull in this journey. HUGS mama.


Married to the love of my life joy.gif, mother to one amazing little man blahblah.gif, healing a broken heart after a pregnancy loss and cautiously expecting our miracle  rainbow1284.gif December 2013. familybed1.gif

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#9 of 13 Old 11-08-2011, 03:37 AM
 
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(((((hugs))))))

 

I can't even imagine a loss at 20 weeks or later. :(  So, so, so sorry.

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#10 of 13 Old 11-08-2011, 06:31 AM
 
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I'm so sorry as well.  It is normal to be crazy for a while, a long while. 

 

I read the book Naming the Child, by Jenny Schroedel, I think?  I liked it.


Mama to two little ones,

& one in heaven

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#11 of 13 Old 11-08-2011, 08:41 AM
 
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I was going to suggest Naming the Child too.


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and
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#12 of 13 Old 11-08-2011, 09:42 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. A book that helped me after my first child was stillborn is "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart." Be gentle with yourself - what you're feeling is so, so normal.

Megan, loving her sweet rainbow1284.gif boys, born Aug. 2008 and Feb. 2011, and their sister, born still March 2007 candle.gif
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#13 of 13 Old 11-08-2011, 03:59 PM
 
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I was also going to recommend "Empty cradle broken heart" it was very healing for me.

I am so sorry for your loss.


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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