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TTC'ers experiencing a m/c

3K views 112 replies 26 participants last post by  hollyhobbie 
#1 ·
I hate the thought of starting this thread...but since there have SO many of us in the last couple of weeks going through this terrible time, I thought we could glean some comfort, wisdom, and love off each other.

So, I'm inviting Bunches, LisaG, Tara, Laura, Jesse, Kama, and Gonnabeamom here to commiserate, cry, rant, and heal. (And anyone else I might have missed -- though I sure hope they're aren't any more!)

I really believe that it's through helping each other that we will eventually heal -- and come out stronger and better than ever (though that is very difficult to see now.)

It's been 12 days since my miscarriage. I'm having good days and bad days. Thankfully I've found a lot of support with my family, friends, yoga people, and especially the women here.

This is my 2nd m/c in 6 months and I must admit I'm terribly gun-shy at this point. As I've said on other posts, I was so confident I would have this baby. Now I don't know how I"ll go into another pregnancy with that confidence. So I"m just taking some time to see where the lessons of this m/c take me. ..

Today I buried "my baby" along with the November Angel Pin that signified him/her and planted a columbine plant in rememberance. I feel like I've returned the gift my baby gave me.

I highly recommend a book my midwife lent me called "Ended Beginnings." It really validated some of the crazy emotions I was having. I was actually feeling angry at my baby for a day or two. (I believe that the soul of my baby is the same one with both m/c's and the same soul of the baby I'll actually have one day.) And I internally yelled at my baby "Why can't you commit! Is this what you're going to be like in real life?!" Of course, I felt horrible and guilty -- but then I learned it's normal. And you wouldn't be angry if you didn't love.

Anyway, I'm babbling. I hope some of you other women come over and share where you are at right now. I'm sure many of us are feeling the exact same way.

Love to all you wonderful ladies. We WILL see our babies again, I just know it....
 
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#2 ·
Hi Kate, I'm sorry about your losses.

I too am TTC again after losing two babies. The second m/c happened last May. It's taken us this long to really get the courage to try again. 4th cycle TTC (off and on)

I'm DPO 8 today and of course hoping...will I ever get pregnant again?

Hugs to all of us!!!
 
#3 ·
Kate, thanks for starting this. My last m/c was back in feb, but I feel like I'm reliving them with all the losses for our TTC group in the last couple weeks. I know that even though a week ago I was pumped to start trying again (first month back at it) and now at cd 10 I find myself making excuses as to why we may not want to start again now.
For those of you who are experiencing their first m/c, I urge you to deal with it as fully as you can. Allow yourself to feel all you need to feel. Don't jump right into trying again unless you've processed the first.
I feel I know each of you closely, having shared the TTC journey together and now this. We will get through, together. I can tell you that without all of my TTC friends and the ones here on the birth loss board, I know that I couldn't possibly have made it through.
My love and big hugs to all of you, please know that I'm thinking of you and feeling your losses with you.
 
#4 ·
Thanks so much for starting this thread. I had three miscarriages within a year and am on the 3rd cycle ttc, 12 days dpo and planning to test tomorrow morning (although I'm not feeling particularly pregnant!).

I finally started to feel better about two weeks ago. I think I spent January in shock and February and March in a complete daze. After my first two miscarriages I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder that is treatable, so when I got pregnant a 3rd time I thought things would go well......but I never really felt pregnant and an embryo never developed. The pregnancy ended at 6 weeks and analysis showed a random chromosomal anomally.

I think I had held it together after my first two losses--focusing on getting information and getting pregnant again.......the bottom kind of fell out after the third.

Now, I see there is light at the end of the tunnel! I have felt well and at peace even happy these last couple of weeks and have been productive at work again, too, which is a relief.

I also read the book you mentioned, Ended Beginnings, about a month ago and I think it got the ball rolling and helped give me permission to feel the full range of my feelings and not just numb out.

This board--and also a board for women with clotting disorders who are pregnant or trying to get pregnant--have also been terrifically helpful.

Best to all on this shared journey,

Ninafel
 
#5 ·
Thank you for starting this thread. This was my first pregnancy and I miscarried on Sunday at 6 weeks. I had a hard time accepting the fact that I was pregnant because we had been trying for 5 months officially, 7 months unofficially (KWIM?). Then, when I was pregnant, I kept getting faint lines on HPTs then tried another brand and it was negative. Finally, I got a blood test and it was positive. I was soooooooooo excited. I was finally letting myself believe it when I woke up one day no longer FEELING pregnant. I was soooooo devastated as I watched my Hcg levels drop and then the bleeding started. They never did any tests on me to find out what went wrong. I am still spotting today. I had to work the past 2 days (long shifts in the ER) so I haven't had too much time to "take care of myself" as I was the first few days. I do "tear" up when someone mentions it. I ended up going into the ER I work at for bleeding on Sunday night so most people know. I think I feel numb today.
I am also soooooooooooo sorry for your loses. Thanks for your kind words and suggestions. I'm thinking of each and every one of you.
 
#6 ·
It's been about 5 days since mine. Mentally i am doing ok. I sorta knew something wasn't right and the baby wasn't going to stick, so it was like I was expecting it to happen. Physically, I am so tired. I feel so drained.

Last night I had a craft group get together w/family and friends. No one knows I am ttc again, as far as they know I am done. Only my cousin knows. I did tell her about the m/c. Well my mom said something like, well I'd really love to have a grandson. Ya, that made me feel better.
I know she doesn't mean anything by it. i'm sorta used to it, she said for 10 yrs she hoped she'd get a grandchild. So she's very happy w/my dd.
 
#7 ·
I just wanted to stop in and send everyone here a big fat
. I have not ever been pregnant, so it's impossible to understand the immense pain you all must be suffering through. I'm just glad to know if I ever have to go through this, I'll have so much support.
I hope you all heal in your own time, and know that your babies will come to you.
 
#8 ·
I just wanted to come by and give everyone from the ttc forum another
(hugs to everyone else, too). I have found myself in tears more than once over the last few days hearing about your losses. My heart goes out to all of you.
Anyway, more
s and healing thoughts for all of you....
 
#9 ·
Hello ladies,

Checking in here. Thanks for starting this thread Kate. I was really touched by your story of the green sea glass - it is so amazing to me how our little ones reach out to us across time and space.

I've had a really hard time not running away from it all. I know in my head that the only way through this is through this, not burying it, not dodging it, but dang part of me is just running like hell, so I stop feeling sad.

Last night I received some craniosacral therapy from a friend of mine and realized how detached from my body I was. I haven't been that disconnected in a looong time. Then I realized that I was trying to "keep" the baby by following his/her energy with my own, if that makes any sense. I was outta here, bye bye body. But I realized if my energy isn't in my body how in the world am I going to get pregnant again and be present for our baby? Had quite the back and forth with myself - "you've got to come back in" "I don't want to" "but you have to" "but it's so sad in there" "well at least you're feeling something" - my poor heart felt so sore and heavy, but I suppose that's a positive change from feeling numb and disconnected.

I think the hardest thing about all of this is knowing all the work I put into to get here. First finding out about my fibroids, then trying to fix that with diet and nutritional work, then finding out that I didn't just have large fibroids I had a uterine birth defect, then figuring that all out, then finding a surgeon and that whole process, and of course the first guy was an idiot, and so was the second gal, and finally third doc was the charm, then the 10 hour trip to the surgeons, then the recovery, then all the bodywork and vitamins and processing and just plain f*$%ing WORK to be present with myself and my healing and getting everything ready in preparation for pregnancy. Then the giant leap of faith in spite of all the fear. Then the amazing news that I was pregnant. I took a picture of dh and I minutes after we found out - have it framed on our dresser. I look at it now and wonder will we ever be so excited again?

Then the ups and downs of hormones and pregnancy, and searching for a care provider who was willing to do vaginal virth instead of a c/s (due to my uterine scars), thought we found midwives, no go, trip to the backup doc who looked at me like I was a friggin' uterine ticking time bomb, then my ob/gyn who will not do anything but a c/s. And feeling so sad and yet petty for being so upset over method of birth when we had the amazing miracle of being pregnant after that whole long haul. Then finally, slowly, getting to a place of acceptance that perhaps my uterus really needed help and was doing the best it could do to get pregnant and nourish a baby and that asking it to go through birth was more than it could do. Realizing that in my gut, not due to pressure, not due to giving up - but due to tuning into my body and asking what it needs. The day before I started to really bleed, I realized that yes, I could have a c/s and not feel like I gave up and rolled over and succumed to fear based medical care. And then, poof, it was over.

It's that feeling that all the work I did, all the processing, all the healing, all the care I took wasn't enough to prevent this, it just wasn't enough. That exhausts me. And yet I know there are really valuable pieces I'm getting from this place, however painful and messy and unpleasant it is. But I'm still sad, and I still wish I was pregnant, and I still really miss my baby, and I'm afraid of how afraid I'm going to be next time. I really don't want to be afraid, but oh god I don't want to be here again.

I'm out of town teaching and the woman I'm staying with just had her first grandbaby born yesterday morning. They travelled to visit him and just got back tonight and she's positively glowing and so excited and joyful. I wish I knew that I'd have that experience in November, instead of the wondering when.

ahhhh - thanks for listening. I wish everyone courage and gentleness as we put one foot in front of the other and walk this path.

LisaG
 
#10 ·
Just wanted to drop in.

I had a D&C at the office yesterday, and I'm still in the early stages of shock. This morning it was like I just didn't want to admit to myself that this pregnancy happened-I just wanted to go back to the TTC state. It seemed too gruesome, being told your baby doesn't have a heartbeat, to have actually happened. I remember last time I m/c reading about other people going through that and thinking "how horrible" I don't know how your get through that.

I keep looking down at my belly and wanting it to shrink back down right away. I was so happy when I started to show.

Both losses came after the point when I started to actual believe that I was going to have a baby.

The only thing that's letting me hold it together is that DH has been wonderful, he has been with me the whole way. Last time I kept feeling distant from him, and this time I feel like we're going through it together. I even had this funny thought that it's like Ground Hogs day, we had to keep doing this until we get it right.

I want to be pregnant again right away, but I can't imagine when in a pregnancy I'll ever feel safe.
 
#11 ·
Lisa, it sounds like you are doing some real work at processing this. Congrats and allow me to tell you that it takes some women (myself included) months to get to a spot where they can REALLY look at it all.
Gonnabe, I'm so glad your dh and you are working through this so closely, I'm envious of that.
Lisa you said we learn lessons at this stage and it's true. I had a pretty lousy childhood with physical, sexual and emotional abuse. I was 17 and had adopted myself some "parents" who were friends and mentors when I finally felt worth anything or that I was wanted or fun to be around. I waited this long to have a child partly because of that constant fear that abuse is a vicious circle, I couldn't stand the thought that I may put a child through what I had been through. So after years of therapy, here I was ready and then the losses started. The lesson I know I have learned is that not a day will go by that my child doesn't hear how much they are loved and wanted, I'll share with them how hard we worked to get them here instead of telling them they were a mistake that ruined my life. I'll make sure my child is one of the ones who is embarassed by all the affection instead of one who craves it so badly. I think for me that these losses where in some way necessary to bring me to that point. To understand what a miracle it is that any of us is here, including me.
As for when will you feel safe in the pregnancy, I don't know, I started to relax with the last one when we saw that heartbeat on U/S, but never completely and the day we went in for the second U/S I just knew something was wrong before anyone confirmed that. I can remember laying there praying to allow this baby to be ok, I'd do anything if this baby was just ok, it wasn't.
I too did and continue to do alot to make my body ready. I have rheumatoid arthritis, so I had to undergo some major medication changes in order to try. The new medications don't control my arthritis adn have caused weight gain and depression, but I'm willing to do that. Now they believe that my m/c's were caused by an autoimmune clotting disorder that is likely linked to my RA. The big thing I'm struggling with is the realization that we could treat for the clotting disorder and I could still loose the next one due to some other anomoly--that's scary, after 2 m/c's and a chemical pregnancy you'd think the universe could just guarentee me this one thing.
So I wonder the same things, will I ever trust my body, will I even get excited about being pregnant again, will I detatch myself from the next pregnancy in an effort to protect myself, will my baby know that I attempted to detatch myself and not get to excited? The answers I've come to..... I'll try but I likely will never completely trust my body, I'll get excited because as hard and tough as I can make myself in some situations, how can you not get excited when you see those 2 lines pop up, I'll attempt in the beginning to protect myself but although I've never felt a baby move inside me, that will bring me to my knees and all walls will be down, will my baby know how scared I was to get excited, maybe but I'll let them know it was fear over loosing them yet again.
These are just the ramblings of someone who is sitting at CD11 and planning to try this month but who is at the same time terrified especially in light of the recent "rash" of losses.
Lisa, Gonnabe, (and everyone else) you both sound like you are "dealing" well with things, just keep remembering that every single feeling you feel is normal, the emptyness, the horrible dull pain, the anger, the shakiness, all of it is normal and you do have to feel it.
 
#12 ·
Thanks, everyone, so much for sharing your experiences. I know it is helping me to see that others are feeling the exact same emotions I am.

Lisa and Shannon -- so many of your words echoed my thoughts and feelings. Though I didn't have to go through tests or surgical procedures, I too felt like I had done everything I needed to to make my body the healthiest it could be. After my first m/c -- I put myself on a 5 month long boot camp of optimal health. Yoga, meditation, organic foods, positive affirmations, yoga cleansing techniques, and minimal stress. Obviously, this all didn't do exactly what I'd hoped.

Now I'm feeling defiant and rebellious. I'm eating things I don't normally -- like artificial sweetners and other crap-- just because I feel like "what the hell is the point of doing anything healthy?" My dh aptly described it when he said "Perhaps you're disenchanted with discipline right now."

I'm pretty sure this rebelliousness and denying my body of good things is my way of running away. Lisa -- it does hurt too much, I know...But you're right, we have to "come back" to heal correctly. So I'm taking very good care of myself today. It's an effort to even think about it, but I know it will make me feel better. (I'm so sorry you had to go through all those medical procedures! I can only imagine how much more painful that makes the whole process for you!)

Shannon -- thanks so much for sharing your experience. I'm struggling with the same issue most of us are facing right now -- how the hell do we ever trust our bodies again? My problem is that I was SO confident during both of my pregnancies -- even during the bleeding episodes I was able to convince myself that the baby was fine. People who know me IRL tell me how "in touch I am with my body," but then how come I didn't know when there was something wrong? How was I able to be in such denial when I'm staring at bold-faced evidence that there is something wrong?! I know I will NEVER be able to be that confident again.
I was so proud of myself for not worrying at all this last time -- I KNEW I'd have this baby. How could I have been SO wrong?

Now, all I can picture is living in fear with my next pregnancy -- and that is NOT a place I want to be. I don't know how to be pregnant right now. So we're not going to try. In fact, we just may never actively "try" again. I don't think I"ll go back to charting and temping. I can't picture myself being joyful at those 2 little lines. I think I have a lot of more work to do before I can even think about getting pregnant again...

Gonnabe -- There's nothing worse than having a pregnant body with no baby... Even though I was still early, my breasts were big -- and they still are. I look down at them and feel betrayed. I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through. I had a similar experience my first m/c -- being told at an ultrasound there was no hb. Absolutely crushing...
I"m so glad your dh is wonderful and supportive. I, too, don't know what I"d do without my dh...

Thanks to all the other ladies for sharing -- and to those visiting with hugs. Sweetpeasmom, hope you start to feel better soon.

Ninafel -- what wonderful news it would be to discover you're pregnant after 3 m/c's. I'm so happy to hear that you found a place of peace and contentment -- I hope I can find that place eventually.

Bunches and Jesse, thinking of you...

Hugs to everyone here...
 
#13 ·
Can I join?

It has been almost 3 months since my latest miscarriage. I hate that I have to say "latest" miscarriage. Unfortunately, I have lost 3 babies. I feel like I should be an old pro at this by now. But each one hurts just as much.

We would be ttc right now except that the combination of the miscarriage and my ds still nursing has caused my cycles to be absolutely insane and I'm not ovulating. My OB prescribed Clomid for me. So as soon as AF shows up, we will use the Clomid with that cycle.

I have been spotting/light bleeding for 2 weeks now. I don't think this is AF. But how the heck am I going to know when to start my next cycle?



Those icons pretty much sum it up at this point.

Thanks for starting this thread.
 
#14 ·
Hi Lisa,
So sorry to hear of your losses...
I think you're right -- you never "get used" to it. I can relate to your screwy cycles, too. Mine are usually 6 weeks -- and in the beginning of Feb I had a 2 week bleeding/spotting episode. I counted it as af, but it definitely wasn't a normal one. 2 weeks later we conceived -- which in hindsight I guess wasn't such a good thing after such a messed up cycle. My body still hadn't regulated itself after my first m/c. Wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I don't.

I'd be interested to hear about any ladies handled multiple m/c's. How long before you felt ready again? Were you able to trust your body again? Any constructive coping mechanisms to pass on?

I'm thinking of you all....
 
#16 ·
Lisa
I can't even imagine your losses, definitely not easy


I'm still sooooo tired, I can't believe how tired I am. For a brief moment today I thought that I was still pregnant, made me kinda sad. I thought I was doing well but I guess not. I don't even know if I even want to try again so soon.
 
#17 ·
Lisa,

I am sorry you have to be here. I keep finding myself stunned at how many times I have been pregnant, and yet I have no baby.

They asked me during the last u/s if I had other children, and I just felt like I was slipping down a hole, and that somehow if I had a child, I'd have something to cling to. I know in real life it's not so simple for those who do have children, but in that moment I felt myself dissapearing.

I almost wish I could start trying now, today, even though I don't even know if this m/c is complete. It's not that I'm comfortable with the idea of being prenant again-I'm afraid I won't feel safe next time-but TTC would at this be familar, would at least let me day dream about children again from teh perspective of hope instead of fear.

ETA: Lisa,

I re-read this thread, and realised that it might sound like I was comparing our situations ins ome sort of "at least you have a child" way. I'm not. I just noted the first time through that we'd both had so many unsucessfull pregancies, and I wanted to share my feelings of disbelief about having been through that also.
 
#18 ·
Kate- So you had a period of 2 weeks with light bleeding? I just don't know what to think of this? It is definitely not as heavy as a period, but I do have to change my panitiliner several times per day. It's so frustrating.
Thanks for understanding.

Alexis- Thanks for stopping in and thinking of us!

sweetpea- ((((hugs)))) I know that feeling of thinking that "maybe" you're still pregnant- even though you know it isn't true. I'm so sorry.


gonna- Please don't apologize! I understood what you meant. But in a way, it IS easier that I have a child. My latest miscarriage was hard....and I still felt like my heart was broken in two (isn't it amazing how they call it a broken heart and it really FEELS like your heart is broken?)...anyway, it WAS easier to hold my little boy and cry. So don't apologize. But I also hope you know that I still have faith that things are going to be okay. You will have that baby. I don't know why some of us have to go through the heartache to get to that point. Perhaps we'll never know. But I do know this- I am probably a better Mom because of it. There is not a single day that goes by that I don't look at my son and KNOW what a miracle he is. Every child is such a miracle. Some people lose sight of that or if they didn't have to struggle for that child, they may never even truly realize it. When you finally hold your baby, you are going to be such a great Mom. And your baby will be so lucky to know that his/her Mommy knows how miraculous they are!
's
 
#19 ·
ARGH!!!!

I'm not holding it together very well today. Yesterday I went to the lab to get blood drawn for recurring m/c tests, and they couldn't figure out what test I was supposed to have. So without asking me for information they proceeded to discuss me and my tests in voices that carried to the entire room. As far as I can tell the confusion was wheter or not the test for maternal chromosones was blood based or not. Like I'm gonna produce amniotic fluid for them!


Also DH was an absolute angel until the last two days. He had a social engagement Tuesday night, and Wednesday was completely wrapped up in a game on TV. At bedtime I just started feeling like I was coming unglued, and he reached over to me, and kept reading his book! I really need to connect with him, and I just couldn't find him. I told thim this morning that I had needed more attention than that, and I'm not sure he got it at all.


I also realized last night that I had skipped taking my thyroid pills for a few days because I forgot to get them at the pharmacy. I haven't done that since I started TTC-though I used to do it all the time before.

Despite all this utter wretchedness, I find myself really impatient about getting back to TTC. I'm not even pleased about waiting out the 10 days to have sex again. It's a major way of connecting with my sweetie for me, and feeling in my body, and it feels like a cruel imposition to have it taken away just when I need those things.

Where are other people in their journey towards trying again?
 
#20 ·
gonna- I'm sorry that he just didn't get it. Sometimes men "deal" with things by not dealing with them. I hope he wakes up to what you need soon.

Where are we in the ttc game?

WAITING. What else do I do?
I am on CD 44. I spotted for almost 3 weeks. Now today it seems to have stopped?
: I'm so confused!!!


I am supposed to take my Clomid on CD 5-9 on my next cycle. Was this bleeding for 3 weeks my period? I don't think it was. But with the state of confusion that my body has been in lately, anything is possible!

 
#21 ·
Gonnabe -- so sorry you're having a tough time today. I hope tomorrow is better for you. I have to admit, I'm a bit envious that you're feeling ready to try again. I don't think I'll be there anytime soon. You said something on another thread that really hit home with me, something like "it's so cruel losing a pregnancy after a m/c -- it's like a nightmare repeating itself." So TRUE! I'm too afraid of yet another nightmare right now...so I'm waiting indefinitely.

Lisa, so sorry to hear you bled for 3 weeks. As I said in a previous post, I bled for 2 weeks in Feb, but that was 4 months after my m/c so I did count it as af. I don't know what you should count it as? Except your body not being ready. I should have taken that advice myself in Feb. Instead, I conceived 2 weeks later and here I am today -- though, I by no means regret this past pregnancy.
Sorry I can't be more help.

Laura and Bunches -- hope you're both feeling better.
Here's some healing light and energy to go around...
 
#22 ·
I'm not sure my being ready to TTC again is anything but a sign of general bloodymindedness.

I waited along time before TTC for health reasons, we tried for a year before the first pregnancy that m/c in January, and getting pregnant in March. I feel like I've waited enough, and also that I don't think time will make me less scared of having another loss.

The other night I was looking through Silent Sorrow, and I just realised, I'm gonna be scared of loosing the next pregnancy, whether I have it tomorrow or next year.

Also did I mention I'm just stubborn.

DH gets it generally, but he just didn't hear the urgency. Got to sit him down and say "I still need extra attention"

Lisa, Bleeding for 3 weeks sucks when you don't have to figure out how to count it. Maybe get some Raspberry Leaf or nettle tea to get things back on track.

How is everyone doing?
 
#23 ·
Gonnabe, I totally get you. I waited a long time too. Have many health issues that complicate things and give things some extra urgency.
After I finally got off the couch after my last one, my dh just didn't get the fact that I still needed the extra either. It was kinda like, "oh good she's back" I had to really explain to him that just cause I was putting up a face to the rest of the world didn't mean I was truly OK.
to you and Kate and Lisa and all of us!!!!
btw, I think I'm gonna ovulate in the next day or two, so wish me luck ladies.
 
#24 ·
Hi eveyone...... I somehow think I subconsciously "forgot" that this thread was here. But, I think this is just what I need. I was an emotional wreck while I had the physical symptoms of my miscarriage. Then, I started feeling better physically and blocked everything out emotionally. I feel guilty about that. I DEFINITELY wanted this baby - more than anything. I have been working a lot and was taking some classes for work so I have been pre-occupied. Being an ER nurse doesn't always allow for "time to take care of oneself". I can't go to work and "take it easy". Yesterday, this male nurse I work with walked up to me and gave me a hug and said how sorry he was about what I was going through, how emotional it must have been to find out and feel so joyful and then miscarry and be so disappointed, also how hard it probably was because people at work knew but that everyone was thinking of me and they were all sorry. (It was the weekend so I ended up in the ER I work at for bloodwork, etc...) Wow......... it really hit me when he said all of that. It was really kind. I realized I am allowed to grieve this. I lost my baby at 6 weeks. We had been trying to get pregnant since August. Gosh....... today, it hurts. I find myself intellectualizing when talking with others about it and trying to hold it together. Oh...... it happened for a reason, at least I now know I can get pregnant, etc........ Also, those are the things people say to me to make me feel better. All with good intentions. I guess I must admit that I just don't know how to grieve this loss. I, too, was taking great care of myself. I look at others who barely change their lifestyle and have no problems conceiving and keeping their pregnancies and it amazes me. It makes me angry actually.
I'm sorry this was such a self-absorbed post. My thoughts are with all of you at this time. I am sorry for your losses.

I do try to light a candle for our baby when I am home so that I can keep him in my heart. dh was totally supportive but it sure hasn't hit him the way it hit me!!
 
#25 ·
I'm really only a lurker in this thread, but I wanted to pop in and say, Mary -- don't apologize for being sad or self-involved! Sometimes we have to remind each other that it is OK to just feel self-involved or grieve, and we are all here to let each other do that, OK?

Will go back to lurking.... my thoughts are with each and every one of you!
 
#26 ·
I'm here too. Had one miscarriage in 2000, concieved DS 3 months later, then had another miscarriage this past Dec. have been very ambivalent about TTC. Didn't realise for long time how much that ambivalence was to do with the miscarriage. But this month we decided we will give it a go. I feel very different energetically and my body seems to be telling me to get on with it. But, how scary.

to everyone else.
 
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