Missed Miscarriage - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-10-2013, 05:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This was my first miscarriage. I am 41 and I have five children, the youngest just turned two. I've never had a problem getting pregnant and it never even occurred to me that I could miscarry. This was a missed miscarriage so I began lightly spotting bright red spots, didn't think much of it but went to the er anyway. They said my hcg levels were on target and my cervix was closed up tightly. I was about 11 weeks along and it all looked great. Until the US. No heartbeat and the embryo was less than eight weeks along.
Chromosomal abnormalities due to advanced maternal age. I was given my three choices and it was thought that since it was showing no signs of being expelled, waiting it out probably wasn't the best option. D&C would have meant waiting for a few days, so I took the pills.
Nothing happened first six hours so I did the second dose. Still nothing. Next morning cramps got worse and the floodgates opened. That was Tuesday. Today is Friday and I'm still bleeding heavily at times and passing tissue occasionally. This has been devastating as you all will know.
This pregnancy was a surprise. Not planned and took time to adjust to. But now that it's over I just want it back. We adjusted. I was ready. We all were.
The cramps are still painful and I'm out of pain meds. How long will this go on? Bleeding? Cramping? I want the physical pain to be over at least. I get that the heart pain will take longer.
I've read you can get pregnant as soon as two weeks after the miscarriage starts. I will hope for a better egg. I will keep taking my prenatals with folic acid.
I am busy talking my husband into trying again, even though it would be replacing an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy. I am too old to wait too long for another chance
Missed miscarriage seems to have been the most awful part of it.
Any other older moms? Especially those with healthy kids already.

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Old 05-10-2013, 02:24 PM
 
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I'm not an older mom; my loss was at age 30 and my first baby will be this year, at 34- but I wanted to let you know that I'm so very sorry for your loss.

 

My loss was an unexpected babe, too. I didn't even have a pos HPT until I started bleeding/miscarrying. Be gentle with yourself. I'm sure other mamas here will have wisdom for you.

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Old 05-10-2013, 02:41 PM
 
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Hi there,

I'm so very sorry to "meet" you here, but it still the only place on MDC that I truly feel comfortable.

I am 41 and have 3 healthy children that were easily conceived, and there were no complications during pg.  I very unexpectedly found myself pg with #4, and DH and I had a profound struggle with this surprise.  I was OK with it before DH was, and there were some very serious differences in how to proceed with the pg.  Once he realized the only way forward was to welcome #4 into the family, he came around somewhat. 

Right around 12 weeks the spotting started...bright red...and it didn't stop.

The small mercy was that this happened just before we intended to tell the children. 

The emotional pain of the journey was so sharp and so all-encompassing, I found the days extremely hard to get through in any sort of "normal" way.  I managed to maintain the facade, and DH lost himself in his work.  We both suffered immensely. 

I am so scared to have a surprise pg again because of DH's painful reaction, and I feel like my fertility is running out.  It is a truly terrible way to come to the end of my fertile years.

The m/c happened last September, due date was March....I did whatever I needed to do just to get through the day...I kept it together for the kids during the day, but often lost myself in bad food and wine in the evenings when DH was at the office.

No advice, just lots of sympathy and empathy.

It is surprising how often this terrible scenario plays out....

feel free to p.m. me.


Loving mom to dd (6y.o.) ds (4 y.o.) dd (2 y.o.)

mom to unexpected angel who passed at 12 wks.

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Old 05-11-2013, 01:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Rewritten. Stupid bots. Sorry my tech savvy is pouring out of me with everything else currently.

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Old 05-11-2013, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I took the misoprostol Monday, started bleeding and cramping Tuesday. Passed huge quantities of blood and tissue then. Including a hard round clot the size of a small lime. Continued to bleed heavy all week and cramp. Today, Saturday, I came home from taking my kids to swim and the embryo fell out into my pad.
My dr promised me nothing would be discernible. All microscopic she said. Nothing but inch long clots and a lot of blood. I held that embryo in my hand.
It was awful. The worst. Horrifying.
I would have chosen a D&C but for that promise.
There is no one to tell no one who can sympathize. No one to bring me a drink of water and a hug. This is so solitary. It's so awful. So very very sad and awful. I

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Old 05-12-2013, 07:38 AM
 
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I am so sorry you are experiencing this.

....so sorry that you are going through this alone.

No one can truly understand what you are going through.

just put one foot in front of the other, and do whatever you need to to get through this horrible thing.

Please know that despite how isolated you feel, you are NOT alone.

again, feel free to send me a msg.

I am so sorry for you loss.

Sincerely,

TTW4


Loving mom to dd (6y.o.) ds (4 y.o.) dd (2 y.o.)

mom to unexpected angel who passed at 12 wks.

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Old 05-12-2013, 02:50 PM
 
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I an so sorry mama. Its so hard. You will be in ny thoughts especially today.
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:03 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. I'm not an older mom, but I have had 3 miscarriages.

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Old 05-15-2013, 07:33 PM
 
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i am not that old but i know how you feel about see the embryo cause i saw my at a almost 8 week loss they never tell you that cause they don't want to scare you but i the mom every really looks they will see most case the mom pass it in the toilet and never even looks but for me i would like to see my baby instead of not see my baby that way i can say my good byes i just want to say i am so very sorry for your loss and please do take care of your self  


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Old 05-16-2013, 06:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am doing better now although it is still quite raw so I hate it when people want to compare stories. I mean in person. I don't want to talk about it. In person. I don't want to hear how for you it was only a matter of one day of bleeding, Hcg levels under five within a week and you were pregnant two weeks after the mc. UGH!!
My stupid mc was missed. Didn't find out til close to the end of the first trimester. I guess that means my body will tke longer to get back to normal than a natural mc at five weeks. Niether is less horrific. I've just realized that I doubt I'll be so lucky as to be pregnant by next week. In fact I guess I'd better not even be trying.
Had blood drawn Monday and Hcg level was 13000. I don't go back for another draw for two weeks. Dr said to use protection until hcg is 0. Something about making sure I don't get a molar pregnancy. She at first said not to TTC for a cycle or two. I told her i didn't want to wait that long and she said fine but at least promise to wait for levels to be 0. Kinda upset I can't get another draw next Monday. Why wait two weeks? I was going to insist on a one week draw, but when the levels came back so high I was a bit in shock.
Good news is spotting is very light and brown. I'm soreish, but not cramping and no more heavy bleeding and two days of no bright red. Much as I don't want to, maybe my poor uterus does need the rest while I await my big zero.
I've never TTCd before. I'm considering buying those strips to test for ovulation. Hoping my husband won't be out of town when it's time.
I know it will happen when it's time, it's just so hard to wait.
Btw the thought of having to use protection is a joke- we NEVER do the deed. Very rarely. Thats how I always know exactly when I conceive.
My heart goes out to us all.
My husband did agree to let me have another baby. So as soon as possible I am ready!!!

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Old 05-16-2013, 06:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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By the way, I DO like to read your stories online. It is helpful to know what others are going through or have been through. Somehow in person it's just too emotional. So I did not mean to be rude nor discount anyone's feelings. Every MC is awful. Each one is sad and horrible and devestating. My heart truly pours out to every single woman who has ever endured this. Peace.

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Old 05-16-2013, 02:15 PM
 
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i know how you feel it is hard to have a missed m/s that was the one i was talking about in my post to me it is harder then just losing it right away i have had both cause you have to wait and wonder when it is going to start or go in and have a d&c to me it was one of the most heart breaking to know i had a baby in me still that did not have a heart beat


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Old 05-16-2013, 02:19 PM
 
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oh and you can take the cheap  pregnancy test to see if your levels are going down the lighter the test gets the lower your numbers are plus you know if you get a neg test your levels are zero


happily in love with dh blowkiss.gif and raise my three jelly beansjumpers.gif and missing my  babies in heavenangel3.gifangel3.gifangel2.gifangel1.gifangel1.gifangel1.gif angel.gif we finely got are rainbow and me and her daddy are so glad are rainbow is here  born on 11/07/2013 
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And watch me run to Walmart to stock up on the cheapo tests...

Pretty soon I will be asking how one plans a pregnancy.  I know, seems an odd question, but I've never planned before and am anxious to get pregnant right away.


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Old 05-16-2013, 04:44 PM
 
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i hope you have a healthy baby on the way soon oh and check out the it really help me 

~'*'~ Hope, Healing, and Conceiving ~ May 2013 ~'*'~  

happily in love with dh blowkiss.gif and raise my three jelly beansjumpers.gif and missing my  babies in heavenangel3.gifangel3.gifangel2.gifangel1.gifangel1.gifangel1.gif angel.gif we finely got are rainbow and me and her daddy are so glad are rainbow is here  born on 11/07/2013 
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Old 05-20-2013, 10:17 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm 38.5 (so "older") and we had five healthy children without trying. Then a few years went by after the last and we decided we weren't done, so we stopped avoiding and after a few months I was pregnant. I had a missed miscarriage. The baby died at 12 weeks 5 days but I didn't find out until a week later. I waited for it to start on its own and he was born about 10 days later. [I don't know why the doctor lied to you and said you wouldn't be able to see your baby at 11 weeks! That's crazy!] I was devastated and wanted to get pregnant again as soon as possible. We had never really tried and I was shocked when it didn't happen right away. I actually went out and bought OPKs, started temp charting, etc. Five months later I was pregnant again but lost that baby the same way - missed miscarriage when he was 13 weeks old. I delivered him after cytotec induction 12 days later (in the hospital). It was brutal. We don't know why I lost them. I was hesitant about getting pregnant again because I was so afraid of another loss. It turns out that my fear should have been that I wouldn't conceive again! 14 months later, after some lab work and a month of clomid I finally got pregnant. I'm 13.4 weeks now and still worried I'll miscarry but feeling some peace. Their birth stories are here (the first is Innocent and the second is Andrew). I hope you have an easy time conceiving again and you have a healthy baby in your arms soon. (((hugs)))


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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Old 06-14-2013, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there! Thank you so much ladies to all of your support. I'd like to be able to bring hope to others. Or at least for others to not feel so alone. To know that the raw pain that you feel is shared by so many of us.
I'm going to jump over to a June TTC after a loss board. AF came June 6, so maybe I can catch that golden egg next week. No clue what's going in with my cycles but it's worth a shot. Hugs ladies!

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Old 07-15-2013, 12:39 PM
 
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Kind of an awful question, but could you tell if it was a boy or a girl?  I'm waiting for my missed miscarriage baby.  I named him/her Francis/Frances after my grandfather, but I'd just really like to know how I should be spelling it.  I feel like having the right name gives me some closure.  How ridiculous, huh?  Anyway he or she was 8 weeks 4 days when the growing stopped.  I was just wondering if I'd be able to tell.

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Old 07-15-2013, 01:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No.  Mine was never really a baby.  I did see a heartbeat at 7 weeks, but I don't think it was formed like an embryo should be.  It was just large clumps.  It was enough of a clump that I could tell it was more than just a clot, if that makes sense.  But by 8 weeks the outer girl/boy parts wouldn't have been formed yet anyway, and in my case, I don't think it was really forming into a human baby.


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Old 07-15-2013, 03:18 PM
 
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Alexisfaye, I lost mine at 13 weeks each and I could tell they were boys. It was right on the threshold though - had it been any earlier we probably wouldn't have been able to tell.


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I thought I'd update.  I didn't conceive in June.  My dh went on strike stating that he changed his mind and didn't want anymore kids.  I was pretty devestated and didn't feel that was fair on his part at all.  His promise of trying for another was the only thing that got me through that awful time in May.  In July I didn't bring up the subject and we didn't discuss birth control either.  We did, however, bd more than usual.  

I got my bfp just this past Monday!!  I haven't even told dh yet!  Unfortunately, the same day I got the bfp, I was also diagnosed with pneumonia.  So, while I've been very happy, I've also not been able to go buy 800 more sticks to pee on, nor really ponder whether or not I "feel" pregnant.  lol!  Basically I just feel like crap.  At least I was able to go in to the dr armed with my new knowledge so that I could be treated accordingly.


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Old 08-01-2013, 05:40 PM
 
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Congratulations!!!
 


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you!  I see you are expecting your rainbow too!  My middle name is actually rainbow...  lol!  Best wishes for the birth you want!  You are due five days before I was with my mc baby.  rainbow1284.gif


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Old 08-01-2013, 09:45 PM
 
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Yes, thank God we were given another chance. Don't worry about this birth coinciding with your due date. I have a complete previa and they'll take the baby no later than 37 weeks (Oct 31st, lol) by c/s if I make it that far. No one is optimistic about that though. We're all hoping I get past 34 weeks. As long as it's a living, breathing baby, I could care less about the c/s!


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Old 08-01-2013, 10:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh sweetie, I was t worried about the dates! I thought it was kinda cool actually. And yes, whatever it takes for a healthy baby! Keep me posted if you think about it!

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Old 08-02-2013, 06:52 AM
 
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oh congrats joy.gif


happily in love with dh blowkiss.gif and raise my three jelly beansjumpers.gif and missing my  babies in heavenangel3.gifangel3.gifangel2.gifangel1.gifangel1.gifangel1.gif angel.gif we finely got are rainbow and me and her daddy are so glad are rainbow is here  born on 11/07/2013 
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Old 08-02-2013, 09:57 AM
 
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No worries! So happy you're expecting yourself!!


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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Old 08-03-2013, 07:05 AM
 
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Congrats

8 might be enough
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Old 08-25-2013, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I went into the ER yesterday because I was having some strange sharp shooting pains down the left side of my abdomen.  They think the pain I was feeling was located in my colon, not my uterus.  They ordered the usual tests anyway.  My hcg level was right on target, going up as it should according to my last beta check.  My left ovary was unable to be seen as it seemed to be blocked by my bowels?  I guess my colon is full?  My right ovary has a large cyst, which I think is pretty normal.  My gestation measured 6w 1d, which is a week behind as I was 7w.  The sac measured 6w 2d.  The heart rate was low at 78 bpm.  There was also a subchorionic hemmorage next to the gestational sac, which they called large.  
Things aren't looking so good for me a second time around.  It's not over yet, but I'm feeling pretty down and out.


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Old 08-25-2013, 10:54 AM
 
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My thoughts are with you, OP. Hugs and good wishes.

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